Regular Features

It's shocking. It's frightening. But you can't look away. You cannot take your eyes off it. It is episode 374 of the Regular Features podcast. Joe has discovered the only thing in this world that can bring unity to the British public, Log dips into his bottomless well of altruism, and Steve lets you in on the secrets to buying the perfect Christmas tree. Let's go, madame, you've heard enough.

It's time to get down and dirty with your three favourite boys. Favourite 1 & 2: Joe and Steve are in the studio with lovely/funny features. Favourite 3: Gav interjects with a tale about presents and revenge.

Look, it's just Steve and Log this week, so you can expect about twenty minutes of low-energy discussion on the topic of sandwiches cut with some top-notch King whimsy. Everybody else will be back soon, please be patient with us during these trying times.

It's a guilt bonanza as Joe, Log and Steve collectively decide to write almost entirely about religion for reasons that will probably become terrifyingly clear to them on their deathbed (they're all going to die together in the same bed). Read E.H. Macmillan's incredible Bird comic here: https://twitter.com/m4pala/status/1192299673479835648

This week we've got features galore - you've got yer Log, you've got yer Steve and even a Gav. What more do you want from us?!

This week we bring THREE spooky stories from Steve, Joe and Gav. Don't have nightmares. And if you do, it's not our fault. It's Matt's.

Joe returns to his beloved Instabae, the Spoonbending Wizard of Israel. Log panic-writes a sea-faring ballad with NO TIME LEFT, and Matt takes the subject of his dodgy guts, and really runs with it. We cannot apologise enough about the sheer amount of excrement in this issue

Well well well, if it ain't a Reader, come crawlin' back to my Regular Features Saloon, cap in hand, hopin' for another dose of that features medicine y'all need so much. I betcha want a little bit of Log trying to be business-like, or a story from oooool' Matt about his mouse dealings. Haha I betchoo even want a bit of Joe contributin' nothin' of significance because his feature was retroactively deemed bad. OK OK you can have a lil sip this time, but DON'T expect me to take such kindness on you in fyootcha. PTOOIE! I spat a tobacco to show you I mean biz-i-ness. PTOOIE!!!!

This week Joe goes DEEPER into a certain festival photo and Steve enjoys a bit of brunch. Gav is also in attendance and is a very important part of the podcast and NOT just because he's writing this.

In this episode, Steve invites us into his favourite bush, Joe continues the interactive Orphean squash journey of Clive Nationality, and all of Log's wasp knowledge comes out in one foul and educational outburst. You love to see it.

Woah there Nelly Furtado, would you just look at the length of this absolute unit of an episode. Either we had way too much fun recording it, or whoever was in charge of editing this one waved through a lot of garbage that should have been cut. We'll never tell! Log wonders what happens when the Hungry Hungry Hippos do brunch. Joe reviews Chichester's local taxi company. And Steve (as well as not being up to date on the latest developments surrounding queer representation in The Last of Us 2, sorry) has a stand up routine about self-service checkouts.

The Regular Features boys have been scattered to the four quadrants, and now it's up to Joe to beam a series of hot emissions from our orbital podcast base directly into your tiny, porcelain baby ears. Log has lovely bones. Steve has a Land Rover. And Gav interviews Coco.

In this episode of Regular Features, Joe finds a new pet for the podcast inside of a egg, Log takes us on a tour of Nottingham's sights, and Steve brings us all the latest news from the big Apple event in Cupertino.

What do the Cheeky Girls have in common with a small, stuffed blackbird? Both of them inspire us to greater things. Would you like to know more? Listen to this week's episode of the Regular Features podcast, and be enlightened.

VIDEO HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGuBwQgWGWM&feature=youtu.be The boys have never ever been QUITE as sweaty - Steve does a bird thing, Log is Baba and Baba is Log, Matt goes to the races, Joe is a Warhammer 40kunt, and Gav's dog has been a bad dog.

We hope the Saturday release of this podcast has not ruined your usual reading regime. In this episode, Matt explores exactly one (1) instance of the Frasierverse, Log feeds 10,000 hours of Regular Features into the bin, and Joe and Gav team up in Germany to sling back some hot reportage from the Gamescom thing that's happening. CHEERS BOBBY

If you think this episode sounds a bit "garment-heavy", you'll be glad to hear that I snipped out two minutes of utterly jokeless sock chat. Something for Patreons, I reckon. This week, Matt enters the metaphysical world of sweat, Steve asks "did I do a Gavin" regarding a man's shoe, and Log takes you on a ride around in his Alfa Romeo. Buckle up parp parp skreeeee

This week Joe turns Gav n Log's history into a video game and we get a visit from one of our favourite guests. Ticket for our LIVE podcast on sale now: http://bit.ly/RFAugustLive Monday 26th August, 7:30pm. Canal Cafe Theatre, London.

This week Joe takes a tour of Steve's filthy house and discovers a little bit about himself along the way.

There was an accident at the lab and now there are two Leeses on the pod. Where does one end and the other begin? Which is the evil one that I need to shoot? And which is Log more sexually attracted to? Find out all this and possibly less in this week's thrilling episode of Regulam Featup!!!!