First Timers

Welcome Gabi with the good hair! After a best-case-scenario labor and perfect post-partum poop, Angie is largely anxiety free. Max loves on little sis, but is learning not to love on Ayla, who still prefers a "no-touching" policy. Evie enjoys the spotlight at her surprise fifth birthday party. 

*This episode originally aired on 10/20/16. Angie recalls counting the hours between tears and the pretzel that broke the camel’s back, while Julie explains how the monotony of early motherhood made her morose. In happy news, Angie’s stolen stroller miraculously reappears and Julie’s closet ghost proves friendly. Both moms have no clue that something was happening with the audio while recording this episode, so they'd like to apologize for the crackling sound!  If you’re struggling with PPD or PPA, visit PostPartum.net for help!  

*This episode previously aired on 8/3/2017. In this very funny episode, actress, tag keeper and math failure Stephanie Escajeda explains how everything from Chinese astrology to playground research informed her baby making. Also covered in this eclectic episode: juice box benders, supermarket family sagas, carbon footprint consciousness, leap year babies and stealing. Follow Stephanie at @stephescajeda Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. And send us YOUR first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com!

*This episode originally aired on 11/2/17. Comedian Dave Williamson chats about his transformation from one of the five unhandiest men in the country, into a porch building, grout cleaning, barn raising dad/bro. Plus: how to anger a 19th Century lighthouse attendant. * For more on Dave, check out DaveWilliamsonComedy.com * Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher and don't forget to send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

*This episode was previously published on 5/26/17. Angie and Julie record from The Gundo Comedy Festival. Three-year-old Evie goes on a Nordstrom shopping spree, while thirty-something Angie must accept her poorness. Both moms sustain wrist injuries, but only comes away wearing a badge of (dis)honor. Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher and send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

*This episode originally aired 5/26/16 and was our VERY FIRST EPISODE EVER! Enjoy getting to know Angie and Julie and hearing about baby Max and barely-a-toddler Evie! Angie feels whore-able because she woke her kid up to go to a party. Julie feels ha-rrible because she legit almost killed hers. Topics also include snack n snooze, hiring a day laborer for your baby to sleep on and coastal eddies.   While we are currently on hiatus, please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! We will be coming back with a bang and hope to have all of your support! And don't forget to send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Sickness follows Angie like death followed the characters in Final Destination. Evie encourages Julie to focus on self care. Max insists Angie focus on deep breathing. When separated, vagina halves will always find one another again. How romantic! All this and more is just a download away!   Please subscribe to our show, share with a friend, and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! And send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

*This episode originally aired in July of 2018. Did you know the key to parkour is yelling “PARKOUR!”? Have you heard the stereotypes about Presbyterians turned Atheists? Did you get “ground” in the 90’s? Guest, mom and sister abuser Shauna explains it all on this hilarious episode. Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. 

Julie zip ties diapers while Angie close lines her kid. Why do toddlers need to get ready to get ready? How many days in a row will Ayla scream sweep the floor with her back? All this and more on today's episode. Subscribe to our podcast, share it with friends, and send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimers@gmail.com!

Thanks to needles in her face and crystals in her ears, Angie is back! Evie laments her changing relationship with Max, but is happy that Ayla loves her (slightly more than pizza). Despite not having a firm grasp on personal space, Max is big man on preschool campus.  Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher and share us with your friends. It really does help, we swear! And don't forget to send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Julie’s husband Dave, who wasn’t a high school golf champ, sits amongst his own clothing and box of 90’s nostalgia to talk sibling squabbles. The couple also covers crafting with cardboard and amygdala injuries. Unless you are Julie’s mom, tune in now! Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! And don't forget to send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Globe trotter and teen wrangler Jill visits to talk hormones, homework and high AF kids. Angie and Julie are thrilled to hear that despite The Year of the Critter and hours-long crying spells, parenting gets easier. Tune in now and help the moms determine whether Jill's daughter has provided real or fake slang!   Find Jill @ wanderingnativecollective.com   Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! And don't forget to send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Angie takes Max to a disgusting pool with unruly kids. He loves it! Julie creates a chore chart. Evie immediately realizes how to exploit the chore chart. Someone shit the big boy bed so the big boy goes back to his crib.  Show these moms some love by listening NOW!   Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

VIP guest and open-concept-one-bedroom owner Molly explains why she's the broken-back Manning of the lactation world. Evie thinks boys are charming. Max shits his crib. Tune in for all this and more, including some hot tips on how to make your baby more flammable.  Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

*This episode originally aired in June of 2016* The moms talk husband resentment: Julie’s arrived early; Angie’s came on strong. More importantly, will Evie and Max share their mothers’ affection for 90’s music or will they say, “Bye, Felicia!” to Third Eye Blind and The Goo Goo Dolls? Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

After some riveting cough talk, Julie reveals why there's an Ikea bin atop her stroller and Angie wonders why Santa put Max on the naughty list. Children say the darnedest things.The moms wonder if those things are politically incorrect. Tune in for all this and more, including hot gossip on which celebrity hunk tosses cookies and which makes the hosts want to toss their cookies. Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Every time Angie coughs during this episode she pees her pants a little. She coughs a lot. Luckily she's wearing a postpartum-sized pad! Angie and Julie plan to "get back at it!" in their 50's. In the meantime, they'll be incontinent queefers. If they form a band--again, in their 50's--maybe that will be the name. Please enjoy this very silly episode! Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Audience members share anecdotes about butt worms, shoe poop and vaginal nigiri. Julie and Angie vow to channel their inner Costco man and tell strangers to back the f#*k up. Or, the moms will pretend their kids have an ultra contagious limb-loss disease. Either way, no one will be forced to hug it out.   Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.  

The moms ponder life's big questions, like whether vomit can be composted and why grandparents can't take a half-decent photo. Julie's IUD has hijacked her libido, rendering the device completely unnecessary. Angie hasn't had her period since # was called a pound sign. Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com.

Television host and lifestyle expert Brandi Milloy gets a pap smear and partner from her OB-GYN. Then the tenacious mom produces, directs and stars in her daughter's award-worthy birth story. Missing this episode would be more devastating than missing your wife's mucous plug ... so tune in now!   Check our Brandi's website brandimilloy.com and follow her on social media @brandimilloy!