Curious Fox Podcast

What is Big Dick Energy (BDE)? What is the difference between having a big dick, being a big dick, and having big dick energy? Can BDE change the way we think of our lives and societies?In this final episode of the year, Effy and Jacqueline talk about the concept of Big Dick Energy, what it means to embody it, and its potential to disrupt the patriarchy. They parse apart strap-on usage and penis envy to extract their foxy new year wishes. They round off the year with a frustration-fueled Soap Box session.Happy holidays to all!Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

What is sex therapy and how is it different from other forms of therapy? What are some common concerns explored through sex therapy? What should you expect from a sex therapist and sessions alone or with partner(s)?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline chat with nationally recognized sex therapist and the author of She Comes First and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, Dr. Ian Kerner. They discuss the advantages of sex therapy for those who are looking to address struggles around erotic intimacy and sexuality, solo or with partners. Ian shares his practical and solutions-focused approach, which takes a closer look at people’s sexual scripts by analyzing the last time they had sex.To learn more about Ian KernerIan Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sex therapist who works with individuals and couples on a range of relational issues that often lead to distress. He lectures frequently on topics related to sex and relationships, with recent presentations for the Psyc

How does jealousy show up in non-monogamous relationships? What are some key factors that might challenge and even change our attitude towards jealousy? How can we embrace, process and learn from our jealousy? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Dr. Joli Hamilton to talk about her research on jealousy specifically with non-monogamous relationships in mind. Dr. Hamilton sums up her research with a quote from Maya Angelou, “Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.”To learn more about Dr. Joli HamiltonDr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT (pronounced ay-sect) certified sex educator. Joli also co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast with her anchor partner, Ken. Joli’s been featured in The New York Times, Vogue, NPR, and The Atlantic. She’s spent the

What is compersion? What are the factors that promote compersion and the factors that hinder it? Does it have a place outside of non-monogamy.In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline chat with Dr. Marie Thouin about her research on compersion. Dr. Thouin shares the factors that promote or get in the way of nurturing compersion. Effy and Jacqueline reflect on their personal journeys with compersion, and share the highs and lows of trying to embody this most elusive feeling.Free Session for Curious Fox Listeners: If you are interested in learning more about Marie's work, you can get a free 30-minute exploratory session by visiting bit.ly/curiousaboutcompersionTo learn more about MarieDr. Marie Thouin is the founder of Love InSight, a Mindful Dating & Relationship Coaching practice where she helps people of all backgrounds and relationship styles create vibrant & intentional love lives. She is also a leading scholar and researcher on the topic of compersion in consensually non-monogamous relationships.

What does research say about the orgasm gap between men and women? Why do women report a significant drop in sexual pleasure when men enter the equation? Why is it important for us to have orgasm equality and what can we do collectively to close the gap?   In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline sit down with Grace Wetzel to explore how our gendered experiences shape our sexual experiences. They look at research, which indicates that bi and straight women have the least amount of orgasms, compared to straight men, bi men, and lesbians. And they discuss why this disparity has more to do with desire than biology. To learn more about GraceGrace Wetzel is a doctoral student in the Social Psychology program at Rutgers University. She works in the Close Relationships, Identity, and Stigma (CRIS) Lab under the advisement of Dr. Diana Sanchez. She received her undergraduate degree in Psychology from St. Lawrence University. Grace studies the impact of gender on sexuality from a feminist psychological perspective. Specif

Why does the overturning of Roe v Wade impact same-sex marriage in the U.S.? What can same-sex couples, non-married couples, polyamorous families, triads/quads, and platonic co-parents do to protect their rights? What can we do, on a system-wide level, to protect and expand the rights of all non-nuclear families and non-traditional relationship constructs? In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline speak with LGBTQ rights lawyer and advocate, Diana Adams, about the very real concerns non-traditional individuals and families should have about their rights within the United States. They discuss strategies that individuals, families, and communities can take to protect their rights outside of the marriage construct and explore how we arrived here, as a nation, and what we can do to create a different and more inclusive future. To learn more about DianaDiana Adams, Esq. founded both the Chosen Family Law Center, Inc. non-profit legal services organization and their own boutique LGBTQ family law and mediation firm Diana

What is the distinction between talking with children about their bodies, about sexuality, and about sex? And why is it important to talk about each? What are some barriers for adults to have these conversations with the children in their lives? How can we ensure that our conversations about sex are age appropriate…and what does “age appropriate” mean anyway?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline chat with children’s non-fiction author Cory Silverberg about having expansive conversations with children about sex and sexuality, including consent, body autonomy, pleasure, relationships, and identity - all grounded in the child’s experience. They discuss the building blocks that support honest dialogue between children and trusted adults, as well as some of the barriers and pitfalls adults can come across when talking to the kids in their lives.More about CoryRaised in the 1970s by a children’s librarian and a sex therapist, Cory grew up to be a sex educator, author, and queer person who smiles a lot when they talk

What happens to a relationship after there is betrayal? Is it possible to rebuild after trust is destroyed? Can infidelity exist within a non-monogamous relationship? In this revisited episode, Effy and Jacqueline take a deeper dive into Jacqueline's story of surviving what felt like an earthquake when she discovered some shocking information about her wife.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

Are outbursts, a chronic lack of trust, and an unpredictable fluctuation between avoidant and anxious behavior a sign of disorganized attachment? What is disorganized attachment? How does it affect relationships? Why don’t we hear more about this attachment style? Can we move from disorganized attachment to secure attachment?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline sit down with Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist - and self proclaimed attachment nerd - Julie Menanno, to explore the least mentioned and most elusive attachment style: disorganized AKA fearful avoidant. Drawing from personal experience, they unpack developmental traumas that result in disorganized attachment and discuss strategies for healing and moving towards a more secure connection. More about JulieJulie Menanno MA is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Relationship Coach. She currently has a clinical therapy practice treating couples in Bozeman, Montana, as well as a relationship coaching pr

What are the core tenants of Islam and the Qur'an and how do they apply to sexuality? What is the significance of the hijab (headscarf)? What would it take for Islam to have a sexual revolution? On this many-months-in-the-making episode, Effy and Jacqueline speak with female Imam, human rights lawyer, and the author of the book Islam Needs a Sexual Revolution, Seyran Ateş about Islam and sexuality. They dive into the history of the religion; discuss the perception of women within the Muslim faith; examine the protests in Iran following the death of Mahsa Amani in police custody; and attempt to parse apart religion from the patriarchy.More about SeyranSeyran Ateş is a lawyer, political activist and journalist. During her law studies, she worked in a counseling center for Turkish women, where she was very seriously injured in 1984 in an assassination attempt. In 1997 she began working as a lawyer, but withdrew from this activity between 2006 and 2012 because of murder threats; she supported, among other th

What nuances are missing from our understanding of consent? How does racism play a role in our conversations about consent? How can we have radically inclusive education about sex and consent? Effy and Jacqueline sit down with Lydia Collins to talk about consent education, bodily autonomy within the context of race, and the difference between having a type and objectifying or fetishising someone. They explore the missing components of our current consent education and the ways in which we need to revisit our ideas about bodily autonomy and self-perception. About Lydia Collins Lydia Collins (she/her) is an Author, Educator, and Creator with over 5 years of experience in workshop facilitation. She has provided workshops to universities, non-profits, and high schools across North America on various topics including anti-blackness, sexual health education, cultural competency, and radical self-care. Lydia has published 3 chapbooks of poetry between 2019-2021 and produced a collaborative video project Joy Is Our B

How can feminism expand to make room for and even celebrate intersectionality? What is the role of joy in identity formation? How can we build communities that see and hold all of who we are?Effy and Jacqueline hang out with “Juliet Takes a Breath” author Gabby Rivera to talk about drawing from the collective wisdom of feminism and sex-positivity to create QTBIPOC spaces that prioritize representation and intersectionality. They explore the power of joy, language and storytelling in the construction of identity.More about GabbyGabby Rivera is the author of Juliet Takes a Breath, she’s also the writer of the new Marvel series America—featuring the first queer, Latinx teen-girl superhero, ever—that’s catching headlines from The New York Times, CNN, Vogue, and beyond. When not writing, Gabby speaks on her experiences as a queer Puerto Rican from the Bronx, 2an LGBTQ youth advocate, and the importance of prioritizing joy in QTPOC communities at events across the country. She’s also the host of the Joy Uprising po

What is the Madonna-whore complex? Why has this caricature pit women against each other? How can we disrupt the good girl/ bad girl narrative that impacts the way we see and are seen?Inspired by a story shared by our Assistant Producer, Effy and Jacqueline unpack why some men don’t feel like they can get freaky with their girlfriends/fiancés/wives, and instead seek out adventurous or kinky sex with other women. They discuss how media and art perpetuate the binary way that men see women, women see themselves, and anyone in between is not seen. And they dig up images of women that transcend this dichotomy and suggest how we can change the noise, to honor the multiplicity of all humans.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

How does our upbringing and early childhood experiences affect our mate selection? Do we need to be “healed” to find a healthy relationship? Can the relationships we struggle in the most be places where we can heal and grow? Can trauma be a bonding experience and how is “trauma bonding” different?Effy and Jacqueline explore the love-at-first-sight myth and try to parse apart the difference between attachment wound activation and attraction (and even arousal) - which can all feel confusingly similar to the nervous system when we meet a potential new partner if there’s unaddressed trauma. They discuss what it takes to nurture a relationship where there’s space held for mutual healing.The TikTok that started this discussion can be found here. You can find the playlist of videos we curated while researching this topic here.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes

Why would anyone use sex toys? How do toys enhance the sexual experience? How do you find the right toy and where can you get them? And how do you avoid internal frostbite???Effy and Jacqueline catch up with a long time Friend of the Fox, co-host of Netflix’s Principles of Pleasure, and the creator and host of Sex Ed a Go Go, Dirty Lola, to talk all about sex toys. Self proclaimed dildo swinger, Lola talked through shapes, sizes, materials of classic toys as well as new products on the shelves. They discuss how to bring up toys with partners, how to take care of your prize possessions, and bust any myths and misunderstandings that are out there about sex toys. More about Dirty Lola: Dirty Lola is a sex edutainer, speaker, and self-proclaimed dildo slinger. Known for her live sex ed Q&A show Sex Ed A Go-Go and as a Sexpert on the Netflix docuseries The Principles of Pleasure, Lola has spent almost a decade working to end the stigma and shame surrounding sex and sexuality. Having started her journey sharing

What is sex misinformation and what kind of sex misinformation is out there? Why is it so prevalent? Why is it important to talk about the false sex narritives and what can we do about stopping the spread of this information?Effy and Jacqueline chat with multi-award-winning reporter and the author of Losing It: Sex Education for the 21st Century, Sophia Smith Galer about prevailing sex myths; how to bust those myths through educating ourselves, and what can we do about changing the culture so the information out there is scientifically accurate and focuses as much on pleasure as sexual health, pregnancy and rape reduction.More about SophiaSophia Smith Galer is a multi-award-winning reporter, author and TikTok creator based in London – making content for over 400,000 followers around the world.Her videos have been viewed over 100 million times and she has been named on the Forbes under 30 list this year as well as a 2022 'Face to Watch' in books by the Evening Standard.Vogue has also recently named h

Are there different modes to the same relationships? Can feeling safe, settled and comfy get in the way of passion and the erotic? How do we know what type of connection is available in any given relationship?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are exploring a relationship theory that encourages people to consider different states the same relationship. Rest and reason, flirt and f*ck and disconnection. Inspired by Polyvagal Theory, they look into how we can recognize what state the relationship is in, what needs are being met, and how to shift if we want to. Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

We are back with another Fox Tales episode, with stories of lives that challenge the status quo.This week we will hear the story of Bear and Fifi (@bear.n.fifi). A few years into their relationship, after slowly taking down their walls to lean into love and trust, Bear revealed to Fifi that he is transgender and that he wanted to go through the process of transitioning. In this episode, they candidly share the fear, mourning, connection, and surprise that they experience as individuals and as partners during Bear’s journey of discovery and embodiment. Kabir Brown (Bear) is a Black queer transgender man, born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. A clinical case manager for underserved communities, and a private intimacy coach + sex positive space curator, he uses his professional background and intersectional experience of identities to create affirming spaces for his clients. Sofia Mojica (Fifi) is a pansexual Puerto-Rican cis woman from The Bronx, NY. Using trauma-informed neo-tantric techniques, spiritual tech

Is a relationship a success only if it progresses in a socially prescribed sequence of states from dating to till-death-do-us-apart - also known as the relationship escalator? What is solo polyamory and how is it different from good-old-fashion dating? Why does single-by-choice carry so much stigma?  Effy and Jacqueline invite journalist and author Amy Gahran to the show to discuss the relationship escalator, what it looks like to get off it or opt out of it in the first place, solo polyamory, voluntary singledom, couple’s privilege and its flip side, singleism.  Guiding us in this conversation is Amy Gahran (AKA Aggie Sez)Amy Gahran is the author of "Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life." She lives in Colorado. Some people know Amy by her old pen name, Aggie Sez.https://www.facebook.com/offescalatorOffEscalator.comSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice

What does it mean to put effort into relationships? Does one person always show up more than the other? Is relationship maths as simple as 50+50 makes 100%?In this revisited episode, Effy and Jacqueline sit down to work out what is the right maths when it comes to the division of effort that goes into a relationship while comparing parental relationship dynamics to adult romantic relationship dynamics. Not all relationships are created equal, not all effort is valued the same. Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes