Zone-casts: I'd Rather Not

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a guaranteed middle-level position in a county office that is a bureaucratic nightmare and you will never accomplish anything OR be guaranteed a two-term presidency with a cooperative Congress but one the day your first term begins America makes contact with a war-like alien nation?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Be a teacher where every year a half of your class gets left back and you have to teach them all over again OR be obligated to sacrifice your smartest student to the I’d Rather Not gods?

WOULD YOU RATHER be an Uber driver in a car full of sweaty people on their way home from the gym on a hot day in heavy traffic OR any and all shadows will look like terrifying monsters when looking at them from the corner of your eye?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a free permanent fastpass that allows you to skip any line you encounter but every time you use it you slightly increase your risk of contracting an unknown deadly disease OR never have to wait in any line for longer than 30 seconds any time you encounter one but for each… Continue reading →

WOULD YOU RATHER: Only be able to eat food from the Applebee’s in Brooklyn OR get attacked by Jon Stewart with a steel chair daily when you least expect it?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a cartoon jump out of the TV and be an actual person in the real world and hang out with you OR go into the TV and live in a world of toons of your choice?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Become the world’s most famous astronaut and captain the crew of a scouting mission to an alien planet but you find out about ten years later that you’ve been the star of a “Truman Show” reality show and it was all fake OR actually be abducted by friendly aliens and learn their… Continue reading →

After a freak accident you have been given the powers of a sex god. You are the ultimate lady’s/man’s man capable of turning anyone on with little effort. WOULD YOU RATHER: Spend the rest of your life being personally unable to be aroused unless engaged in elaborate erotic cartoon character cosplay OR have every orgasm… Continue reading →

WOULD YOU RATHER: Obsessively build a collection of something but no matter what you’ll always be missing the last piece OR have every single door you encounter slam in your face before you’re allowed to enter and you never get used to it?

You lost something very important and you need to find it immediately. As you search for it, WOULD YOU RATHER: Only be able to get clues through David Lynch-like nightmares OR have your life becomes the Dreamcast game Shenmue?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have to compete on a futuristic gladiatorial bloodsport show for the ultimate prize OR have an uncle that works for Nintendo but gets everything mixed up?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Earn a reasonable income through work with a fairly large company but there’s a 10% chance that each year your company will go under for tax evasion and take you with it OR not have to work ever but earn spendable income by sneezing foreign currency out of your nose?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have all personal vehicles replaced by instant teleportation between static stations OR individual jetpacks with high speed and low safety?

WOULD YOU RATHER manage a haunted house filled with animatronics that you have to manage like the game Five Nights at Freddy’s OR have a haunted house full of actors that you have to please and manage?

There are 23 people in the world who are special and you are one of them. WOULD YOU RATHER: Have the 23 people be superheroes in a dystopia OR have them be the only non-superhero people in a utopia.

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have elections be decided by a tournament of baseball games OR a talent search-style competition?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have to yell out the ingredients of everything you eat before you’re allowed to eat it, and someone other than you must hear it OR have an RFID chip implanted into your palm allowing you to have your very own exclusive features in Toys-to-Life games and can use in things that scan… Continue reading →

You have the ability to go back in time and change any two events of 2016, but you create a fork in time when you do it. WOULD YOU RATHER: Return to a world where all forms of communication have reverted to Shakespearean English and Elizabethan technology OR Return to a world where once a… Continue reading →

WOULD YOU RATHER: Essentially become Inspector Gadget, but instead of solving crimes you’re Guy Fieri OR Be a film noir detective with a wacky robot sidekick?

You are going to be given the most amazing holiday feast, but you have to work for it. WOULD YOU RATHER: Have to compete with your family members in an obstacle course and quiz show OR Have to hash out your family’s problems on a Maury Povich-like daytime talk show?