I Love My Shepherd

Three Places to Never Argue Questions: Where have you argued and it hasn’t gone well?   When and how have you experienced struggles in arguing in any of the three places: Riding in the car In the bedroom (especially preparing for bed) In front of other adults   What value is there in letting an argument rest a bit? Why is this hard at times?     Wellness exercise: Consider what are two of your “hot button” topics that often lead to arguments in your house and use Galatians 5:13-15 to pray for these two topics.     Arguing in front of children article: https://blog.cph.org/read/everyday-faith/argue-front-children-naked-unashamed-disagreement     YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/NE90yRjctKI   YouTube extras: Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidig

A Marriage that Bends Questions: What magic answers are out there for marriage? What magic answers do you think people utilize to get to marriage growth?   How can 1st Corinthians 8:1 inform our marriages?   What things in the world attempt to “break” our marriage? Where is the comfort in knowing that God doesn’t break us or our marriage?   How do you get the oxygen of Christ into your marriage, even as He is already a part of it when we don’t see it in the busy every day?   YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/7XMkDYYnpks   Wellness exercise: Whether it takes 1 minute or 30 minutes each day, identify one way to add a little more Jesus into your marriage every day for the next week or month.   YouTube extras: Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoe

Why Repair Attempts Matter Questions: What topics of things poke at us and start a negative slide or cycle in arguments?   How do you usually switch gears or change focuses when you are having an argument and need to relieve some pressure from the conversation?   What repair attempts might you use intentionally? What repair attempts might you be using subconsciously?   Wellness exercise: Create a catch phrase or code word to utilize as a repair attempt that you can use intentionally and then practice using it for one week at least.     *iCarly show reference: https://icarly.fandom.com/wiki/IWant_My_Website_Back   YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/G6WvVt2ZNt0   Find Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann   Hit subscr

Grouchiness in Marriage   Questions: What makes you grouchy? Especially in marriage, keeping a household, and family life?   How does the law motivate in marriage, or does it?   How does the gospel motivate more fully or better in marriage? What does the gospel look like when you’d like to see a change in your marriage?   Wellness exercise: Identify one change you’d like to see in your marriage. Consider what the Law would communicate about that problem and what the Gospel communicates about that problem. Where might you start with a Gospel oriented solution?   YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/t1xItqqh1dE   Find Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann   Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversations in your podcas

Who are Your Marriage Rockstars?   Who do we look to in our culture(s) or as couples to tell us what marriage should look like or be like?   Read John 6:67-68. Where does God tell us to go?   What difference does the Word of God make in discerning what our marriages should look like?   Who are your marriage rockstars?   Wellness exercise: If you currently have marriage mentors, give them a call, a card, or a text to say hello and check in. Try asking them a question like, “Who taught you what you know about marriage?” or “What Bible verses or passages have been helpful for you to understand marriage better?” If you do not have marriage mentors, identify together who might make a good couple to ask for mentoring from… then ask. Define what that relationship will look like for both couples involved – is it casual - just watching to grow - should there be check ins, etc?     YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/dJoFd0Hv5Sk Podcast episode: 22     YouTube extras: Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.yout

The Power of Pursuit   What are your communications like on a day to day basis?   What parts of the statement, “Pursuit is still necessary,” do you agree or disagree with?   What benefits are there to still pursuing our spouse in marriage?   Song of Songs 8:5-6   What gets in the way of sacrificially pursuing our spouse, both personally and for people in general?   Wellness exercise: Consider two ways you can sacrificially pursue your spouse this week and engage in carrying one of them out in the next seven days.    YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/SfGpVXWP0Xc Find other Always Growing videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCryz1QG5wDu1HWaapevYFOIUiwXEm1IC   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann Hit subscribe to get the marriage conversation videos in your podcast or youtube feed. Download the Talk She

Always Growing...in Marriage Riding the Storms   What storms of life come into people’s marriages?   What kind of storms or changes have you experienced in your marriage?   Matthew 8:24-25   How can we remind one another we are in it together?   Wellness exercise: Practice praying together once a day, holding hands, for 5 days straight.   YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/g-ccQmXC-Ls

The Marriage Sandwich   What might your marriage sandwich check-ins look like?   What rituals of connection do you already have?   How does your stage of life impact your ability to connect and check in with one another?   How do you ease the transitions in your days?   Wellness exercise: Consider times you have connected well and other times you have not connected well. Acknowledge both to one another and ask God to forgive the hurts and praise Him for the successes.   YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/w02kj_wai0s Reference: gottman.com

Marriage and the Fallen World   How does the culture around you view people?   How do you think those cultural views impact marriages, your own and others? In other worlds, why does the fallen world matter in marriage?   John 1:16   What opportunity do you see in recognizing the fallenness in your own marriage? Where do you see grace alive in your marriage?   Wellness exercise: Consider three ways you can bring more grace and forgiveness in your marriage today.   YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/G1qFctomDZ8   Find more marriage and relationship resources at: https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships Follow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/heidigoehmanwrites https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/ https://twitter.com/HeidiGoehmann     Download the Talk Sheets under "Resources on Marriage" at https://heidigoehmann.com/relationships

Same and Different   What is the same about the two of you?   What is different about the two of you?   Ephesians 2:10   What are the tattoo discussions in your marriage?   How can do we grow by talking things out and how do we grow by letting something go for a time?   Wellness exercise: Celebrate your sameness and your differences together today in some way.   YouTube video link: https://youtu.be/R6bbcf_9NPc

Unpacking the baggage of the word “Church” What is it? Body of Christ, believers, gathering around the Word together The church in transformation Very basic: Matthew 18:20 local community Gathering/meeting together Moderate concept: Little c and Big C Church The family unit as mini-church Encouraging and building one another up Hebrews 10:24-25 Acts 2:46-47 Colossians 3:16 Advanced: We will all look different as individuals and as churches We have different functions and contexts Romans 12:4-5

Question of the day: Is God too serious? God has a sense of humor, which is one of the reasons we have a sense of humor.   Why do we have a hard time seeing God as playful?   Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” Psalm 126:2 Psalm 126   God’s promise of salvation includes our mourning turning to laughter. Laughter is good for our physical and mental health.   Ecclesiastes 3:4: “A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”  There is a time for everything, including laughter We are created by God to have a sense of humor it’s good for our physical and mental health   He who sits in the heavens laughs Psalm 2:4 Psalm 2 This is not yin/yang. There is no equal power. God laughs at our attempts to live our own way. It’s better to live his way.   Question of the day: Is God too serious? God has a sense of humor, which is one of the reasons we have a sense of humor.   Why d

Episode 15 – Ten Minutes of Journey Growth-orientation of the faith walk: God bringing me from where I’m at to where He wants me to be.   Long history of journeying in Scripture, since the garden of Eden and onward:   Hebrews 11:9-11   1 Chronicles 29:15 – Old Testament understanding of journeying Distraction culture, good tools, and dialing into the journey   Journey through many different landscapes Looking for different directions   Proverbs 3:5–6 Proverbs 16:9   We anguish over making the right decisions sometimes too much. Take the next faithful step, and trust that God’s got this. Romans 8:28   Moving to thinking spiritually Ephesians 2:19-20

Sharing humanity with one another “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15) Empathy takes time Empathy takes energy Sympathy stays on the surface The place of worth in giving empathy The place of capability in giving empathy Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted. (Isaiah 53:4) Isaiah 53:1-7 - Suffering servant Galatians 6:2-5 Independence, dependence, and interdependence “We do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses” (Hebrews 4:15) Hebrews 4:11-16 The word of God is powerful in itself, people don’t need my judgment added to it, but rather bringing empathy to the table brings Jesus into the room. Because Jesus is empathetic, I can be empathetic with His Light living in me.

Episode 12 – Grief: God of All Comfort             Intro – grief patch story from: https://heidigoehmann.com/blog/loss-and-grief-grief-without-shame    2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (ESV)   Psalm 10:14 (NIV)   God is thoughtful about our grief and holds our grief with us. So we are: thoughtful about grief for one another, and we help one another hold the grief and the weight of that grief   Psalm 34:17-18 (NIV)   God of All Comfort = God of all losses Exercise: write down all the losses that you’ve encountered personally, or those you see around them, then write the word All or God or Jesus or a favorite Bible verse over it We have both – honor the losses and embrace the comfort   God isn’t far off – He is big, but also personal Isaiah 53:3-4     Jesus encountered his own grief and entered into other people’s grief Jesus took on the judgment of grief as well   Biblical narratives of loss: Mary, Martha, Lazarus – loss of loved one, the experience of illness Mary and John and the crucifixion – comfort in one another, fi

What is loss? Gravis (Latin) to weigh down Gravare (Latin) to make heavy Grever (Old French) to burden or afflict It's ok to ask lots of questions. It's ok to struggle. Open the Word, gather with supportive people. What kinds of loss come to mind for you when we talk about the idea of loss and grief? There is no rushing loss and grief. There is no hierarchy of loss or grief. We witness to one another's struggle, and we witness His Word and what He's doing in the struggle to one another. Your grief matters. Your grief is worthy of honor. Disenfranchised grief: https://whatsyourgrief.com/64-examples-of-disenfranchised-grief/ Honoring many different losses – sharing stories Losses not by death Dealing with shame and relief and other complicated emotions in a loss Losses with debilitating or chronic illness Losses in marriage Losses in less recognized relationships Finding hope in the many losses: God sustains us in any loss with His strength. Growing to learn each day is a gift. Nothing can separate us from Go

2-part series – complicated things we experience in our mental health internally complicated things we experience in our mental health externally Blog series at heidigoehmann.com – The Many Sides of Mental Health https://heidigoehmann.com/blog/not-so-simple-the-many-sides-of-mental-health Dualities in mental health we are covering in this series: Agency (choice) and happenstance Relationships and self-differentiation Worth and Humility Acceptance and Constant Work Microaggressions and Good Intentions Apathy and Passion Age 4 and Age 40 Making peace with a bit of mystery and the complications of life – Ephesians 1:7-9 There is always more to know, to discover, more mystery. That's a good thing of God. One day, when Jesus comes back, we will see everything more clearly. We exist in both contentment and wrestling. Again, this is a good thing of God. Without the wrestling, the stress is often increased in one way or another. Today’s dualities are highly relational dualities, often reflected in our closest relati

2-part series – complicated things we experience in our mental health internally complicated things we experience in our mental health externally Blog series at heidigoehmann.com – The Many Sides of Mental Health https://heidigoehmann.com/blog/not-so-simple-the-many-sides-of-mental-health Paradox and duality and the complications of life Mental Health brushes up against: morality lifestyle choices the weird and wildness of our bodies relationships What dualities exist around us and in our life? dualities of God https://heidigoehmann.com/the-mighty-and-the-mysterious Examples of dualities in our lives Some of the dualities of mental health: Agency (choice) and happenstance Relationships and self-differentiation Worth and Humility Acceptance and Constant Work Microaggressions and Good Intentions Apathy and Passion Age 4 and Age 40 Mental health is complicated because of internal workings and also because of external things, particularly because we exist in relationship. Internal Dualities of mental health: Wort

Episode 8 – Dive Deeper: Good Gifts   Happy Release Day! Happy Book Birthday! The many things in life we would easily call good Good = complicated   What does God say is good v. what I say is good - heidigoehmann.com/blog/what-does-god-call-good   A Reading from Good Gifts Addressing the concept of congruence   Study overview – 6 weeks or segments, 4 days or readings in each, average of 3 pages each Embedded questions and discoveries with white space for thoughts and journaling 6 free videos on YouTube, about 20-25 minutes each, with discussion questions for groups Other freebies: Prayer Walk and visual faith tools All found at: https://heidigoehmann.com/goodgifts   What good things are you learning? What good things about God do you see in your life at present?  

Episode 7 - Courage (and JOMO) Vulnerability Recap: It chooses to see the bigger picture. It’s connecting. It's a spiritual practice. Episodes in this series: Vulnerability (and Boudaries) Lack (and Enough) What is courage? internal processes external relational experience Courage is relational and sacrificial. Simon Sinek: https://youtu.be/fQjnW3_78a8 Courage is vulnerable. Brene Brown: https://youtu.be/PVynHlI1fac Courage comes from encouragement, not just mental stamina. Joshua 1:1-9 Courage isn’t only from the internal sense that “we can do it!” but the external sense that we are not alone. Courage is just as much about staying in as it is going out. - this can look big or small in our lives JOMO - finding joy in missing out ending the comparison game Isaiah 53 "When it comes to courage we tend to ask ourselves the question: What big thing am I doing? I think the real way we discern courage in our lives is really by asking the question: Where am I allowing myself to be seen?" Find the series of articles a