First Timers

TV/film writer and LARP-for-moms enthusiast Gina Kelly stops by for a light discussion on a heavy topic. Plus, how to: properly wake a parent; use diarrhea to your advantage; and become a police department meme. *** Follow Gina @kelly_gina on Twitter; @shmutzandballs on Instagram *** Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/AngieEatsItAll

Storyteller Miellyn Fitzwater Barrows Skypes the closet to weigh in on glamorous grandmas, unglamorous moms and why traveling with kids is a trip, not a vacation.  Plus, Angie only feels “professionable” with an eyelash curl and Julie learns she has a put-together doppleganger.  Follow Miellyn @MiellynB; see her work at gorgeousrobot.com Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/AngieEatsItAll

Modest in bosom and honest on nursing, comedic actress and writer Beth Crosby enters the closet to discuss the current trend of breast being best at any and all costs. In an effort to feed their babes, Julie tries nipple shields, Angie tapes tubes to her tits and Beth buys illegal Thai drugs.      Follow Beth @ClusterFeedMom on Twitter/Instagram and Crosbylicious on YouTube    Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/AngieEatsItAll

Max enters the terrible twos early, while Evie continues them late. Writer and performer Steph Garcia creates a beach baby despite her own hatred of sun, sand and sea.  Follow Steph on Twitter @mostephlove and check out her podcast That's My Story, Period on iTunes! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/thats-my-story-period/id1207080316?mt=2 Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/AngieEatsItAll

Angie and Julie treat guest and mom of four Marcia like she’s a mom of forty. Julie finally reveals the big secret she’s been hiding from Angie; Angie finally reveals some hot underwear tips. Also: the most miserable parents have three kids.     Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/AngieEatsItAll

Actress, tag keeper and math failure Stephanie Escajeda explains how everything from Chinese astrology to playground research informed her baby making. Also covered in this eclectic episode: juice box benders, supermarket family sagas, carbon footprint consciousness, leap year babies and stealing. Follow Stephanie at @stephescajeda Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/AngieEatsItAll

Podcaster Glennis McCarthy joins the moms to discuss her delayed maternal epiphany, lying to her diary and wanting her baby to be the very best baby. Plus, Angie cries over Macklemore, Julie time travels to an AirBnB and Max starts a '90s dance class. *Little audio glitch around the 19 minute mark but it's over with quickly. Sorry!*  Check out Glennis's podcast Tell Me Lies on iTunes and Stitcher. Follow her on Twitter at @phantomglennis.  Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/AngieEatsItAll

Closet guest Tanya Gradet makes a pit stop in the Detroit of California. Surprisingly, it’s not the worst part of her trip. Angie hates cats and cats hate Angie but Xanax makes cohabitation possible. Julie spends two entire days—and too many Jetsons to count—in an outhouse on wheels. Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/AngieEatsItAll

Writer Anna Lane refuses to play the preschool game and gets rejected by every school in the city. Then she gives in and plays the game and still gets rejected. Meanwhile, Angie cockblocks David Spade and Julie takes a bath. Follow—or hate follow—Anna at @TheAnnaLane on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/AngieEatsItAll

Between coos and screams, we learn that Max is a book felon and Evie is a book brat. Julie is a bad bad cop and Angie can't manage her expectations. Most importantly, is Dewey upset that his decimal system is less relevant today? Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/AngieEatsItAll

Max forgoes his nap for the epic ramps at Knotts Berry Farm. Evie has an earache, and Julie, in turn, has a headache. Angie is viewed as negligent; Julie is viewed as excessive; judgers are viewed (correctly) as a-holes. Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/AngieEatsItAll

UCB rockstar Betsy Stover visits the closet to chat about preschool graduation themes, 80’s parenting tactics (that would now result in jail time) and scary subway moms. On the topic of hangovers: Sam proves he’s a better person than Angie, Julie concludes weddings are no longer feasible and Betsy misses her morning after “me” time. Follow Betsy on Twitter: @BetsyStover and check out her podcast, Why Mommy Drinks! Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/LoveFoodMoney

Evie gives a live poop play-by-play and Max has perfect Old McDonald pitch.  Angie finds out she’s pregnant and cries in a shitty deli. Julie finds out she’s pregnant, and, despite a firm grasp on science, is shocked. Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/LoveFoodMoney  

Evie finds a haircut that perfectly fits her personality. Max is the playground gigolo. Julie’s body performs better than expected, while Angie’s body performs more than expected. Plus: when to abandon family traditions. Please subscribe to our show and rate us on iTunes or Stitcher! It really does help, we swear! You can follow us on Facebook at Facebook.com/FirstTimersPodcast. Send us your first time parenting stories at firsttimerspodcast@gmail.com. And, you can follow us individually on Twitter/Instagram @AngieGreenup @JulieFishman and check out Angie's YouTube channel at YouTube.com/LoveFoodMoney. 

Did other people notice newborn Evie’s deformed head or infant Max’s corpse-like features? The moms guess “yes.” Both toddlers have been extra sweet of late … because one is sick and the other is milking bedtime.

Angie and Julie record from The El Segundo Comedy Festival. Three-year-old Evie goes on a Nordstrom shopping spree, while thirty-something Angie must accept her poorness. Both moms sustain wrist injuries, but only comes away wearing a badge of (dis)honor.  

The moms recommend replacing all cleaning equipment with a dog. Airbnb treasures include crusty sauce jars, herbal supplements and a screaming Rhonda. Julie and Angie both draw baby blood, but that’s not what has Evie feeling blue. Plus: prison rodeo! See us live in LA! Tickets to the 5/20, 7 pm show (we are on at 6) here: www.purplepass.com/gundomagic

Angie finds marital bliss under The Golden Arches and scores an Egg McMuffin to boot! Julie counsels an expecting couple having a Buy-Buy-Baby-induced panic attack.  See First Timers live! Tickets to the 5/20, 7 pm show (we are on at 6) here: www.purplepass.com/gundomagic  

Sister wives Angie and Julie recount youthful indecencies, but conclude that posing with statues is still, and will always be, funny.  Angie wants to teach Max the nutritious wonders that lie beyond Wonder Bread; Julie vows to never label her kids, while in fact labeling her kids. Visit www.purplepass.com/gundomagic for tickets to our live podcast on Saturday, May 20th at 6 pm (tickets say 7 pm)!

Cleveland dignitary Christiana Simpson visits the closet to explain how open adoption is like online dating. The moms also ponder important “whys,” like why kid-friendly wine bars are scarce and why parents are so bad at Facebook. For more on open adoption visit blissadoptionservices.com or email Christiana directly at christianasimpson@gmail.com.