Trash & Treasures

The post-LOTR fantasy boom was a strange time. It inspired Hollywood to pick up dozens of fantasy novels and cram them into three-act Hollywood adaptations whether or not much remained of the original work by the end. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it...really, really didn't. Wow, this movie hates women more than we remembered, huh? CONTENT WARNING for discussion of sexual assault, slavery and misogyny That Good Omens Meta Dorothy Threatened: https://goth-mabel.tumblr.com/post/186064839073/funny-if-we-both-got-it-wrong-the-thematic 1:00 Gaiman History 9:00 The Mid-00s Fantasy Boom 18:00 Nice Guy Tristan 23:00 Wacky Murder Shenanigans 27:00 All Bicker, No Charm 37:00 So....Shakespeare 47:00 Third Act Misunderstanding 53:00 Brand New Ending 60:00 AND ONE MORE THING 67:00 Should You Watch This Say hi to Dorothy and Vrai on Twitter @writervrai and @dorothynotgale Join us every two weeks on Soundcloud, iTunes or Stitcher – and if you’d leave a rating and review, so that more people can find their way to us

Look, sometimes a movie survives for 35 years because it's very pretty and we all love Tim Curry, and it's okay to admit that. This film has GLITTER and EIGHT THOUSAND CUTS and TANGERINE DREAM and oooooh boy that script, huh? Content Warning for discussion of sexual assault, misogyny, and body horror Shannon's Twitter: https://twitter.com/mx_dapper The ARGonauts Podcast: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/argonauts-podcast 1:00 Background and Cuts 12:00 BIG D IS HERE 16:00 This is a Fairy Tale, Not a Legend 23:00 Fae Stuff 27:30 Ending Rundown 32:30 The Ridley Cuts Thing 38:00 Fanfic Check 43:00 Who Could This Still Be For 50:00 Final Thoughts Say hi to Dorothy and Vrai on Twitter @writervrai and @dorothynotgale Join us every two weeks on Soundcloud, iTunes or Stitcher – and if you’d leave a rating and review, so that more people can find their way to us, we’d appreciate it!

80s and early 90s vampire fiction responded to the wealth porn aestheticism of Anne Rice by getting as punk and filthy as possible, with varying results (look we're not even going to humor the claim that this is anything but very obviously a response to the Vampire Chroincles). In this case....well. Is it possible to be more misogynistic than an Anne Rice book? Turns out the answer is yes, when your book is written by a then-closeted trans man still Working Through Some Shit. There is, as the academics say, a lot to unpack here. CONTENT WARNING for discussion of sexual assault, forced pregnancy, anti-choice rhetoric, uterine horror, rape apologism, misogyny, pedophilia, incest, drug use, and body horror. This one is A LOT, so take care 1:00 That Closeted Trans Dude Feel 8:30 Drinks 12:30 Prologue 21:00 Small Realisms 24:00 Fuck You, Steve 28:00 "Secret Bone Dance" 39:00 OC DONOT STEAL 41:00 Death By Baby 49:00 The Failure of Nothing 54:00 College Course Storytime 57:00 Abjection of Sexuality 69:00 Swit

It's been a rough theme, so we decided to close out on something fluffy: sure, this is the epitome of "we want the gays to have rights but we don't want them to be TOO gay about it, except maybe in a funny way," but it's also sweet and sometimes wicked sharp satire. Plus, it's a movie about gay men written by a gay man, making it the first movie this year where the author's identity matches up to the identity story they're trying to tell. CONTENT WARNING for discussion of homophobia and fatphobia Move it Football Head (A Hey Arnold Retrospective): https://moveitfootballhead.wordpress.com/ Ross’ Twitter: https://twitter.com/terriblepunname The Mary Kay Letourneau Scandal: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Kay_Letourneau 2:00 Production 6:00 The Tom Hanks Incident 16:00 Don't Tell the Straights 22:00 Magnum Love(ish) Interest 24:00 Oh, Joan 29:00 Extremely Legal Teacher Boning 35:00 THINK of the CHILDREN 41:00 "Dance Party" is Code For "We Have No Ending" 44:00 Fuzzy but Toothless 50:00 Should You Watch

The biggest movie to deal with transness in the 90s---well....it thinks it's talking about drag, except for the part where all of its leads are full-timers. The charming Alexis Sara rejoins us to talk about drag politics, the movie's "naturalistic" racism, and that damned "all homophobes are just in the closet" trope. Remember, trans people are people too: specifically, they are sexless fairy godmothers who will descend to solve cis peoples' problems. CONTENT WARNING for discussion of transphobia, racism, spousal abuse, homophobia, police brutality, and sexual harassment Visit Alexis on Twitter @TransComics or on Patreon 1:00 Production History 5:00 Drag Politics 11:00 "Little Latin Boy in a Dress" 20:00 The TRANS NARRATIVE THOUGH 26:00 "Hilarious" Police Brutality 32:00 Small Town Subplots 37:30 What Tone Are You Even Going For 43:00 Sexless Fairy Godmothers 46:00 Vida is a Lesbian 52:00 Should You Watch This Say hi to Dorothy and Vrai on Twitter @writervrai and @dorothynotgale Join us every two weeks

This one is so bad Dorothy and Vrai couldn't ask anyone else to be involved. It would've been cruel. Yes, marvel at the go-to example of the lesbian phase movie, complete with the myth of "lesbian bed death." It's a real shame this isn't the podcast with the booze. For bonus points, this is quite the snapshot of a pre-9/11 America (oh yes, you bet this is a "New York is the center of the universe' movie). CONTENT WARNING for discussion of homophobia and gold star bullshit. 1:00 Background Info 6:00 Critical Reception 11:00 90s New Yorker Problems 17:00 The Newspaper Ad 22:00 Politics of the Closet 31:00 "Lesbian Bed Death" 39:00 Successfully Got That Dick 45:00 A Terminal Lack of Gay in the Queer RomCom 52:00 Should You Watch This Say hi to Dorothy and Vrai on Twitter @writervrai and @dorothynotgale Join us every two weeks on Soundcloud, iTunes or Stitcher – and if you’d leave a rating and review, so that more people can find their way to us, we’d appreciate it!

If you grew up in the 90s, chances are good you crossed paths with Lurlene McDaniel, the queen of teen lit tragedy porn. While starting from a genuinely good place, wanting to help sick kids feel seen after her young son was diagnosed with diabetes, her career mostly involved biting off waaaaaaaay more than she could chew and fitting just about every debilitating physical illness under the sun into a very pat and very Christian formula. And along the way her books grew a predominant audience of able-bodied middle school goths with a voyeuristic interest in death (trust us, we know). CONTENT WARNING for discussion of misogyny, racism, homophobia, chronic illness, and the death of children 1:00 Personal History 3:00 Drinks 5:00 YA History 11:00 Responsibility Hats 19:00 Cancer Camp 24:00 The Evil Fiancee 28:00 Marley 37:00 Voyeurism 43:00 BOYS AND BABIES 53:00 Saint Sandy 59:00 That Gay Subtext Say hi to Dorothy and Vrai on Twitter @writervrai and @dorothynotgale Join us every two weeks on Soundcloud, iTune

Sometimes the sequel IS better. We're joined by film critic Ross Dickerhoof to talk Magic Mike XXL, the only film in the Mikeverse that Vrai has seen. Sure, it might not have the Deep Social Commentary of the original, but it also doesn't seem like it hates its audience nearly as much, and we're here for that. Let's fight toxic masculinity with Backstreet Boys. Move it Football Head (A Hey Arnold Retrospective): https://moveitfootballhead.wordpress.com/ Ross' Twitter: twitter.com/TerriblePunName 1:00 We Picked the Better Movie 9:00 Symbolic Pool Party 14:00 In Conclusion, Fuck Mike 17:00 The Best House 20:00 Fix Fic 25:00 Actually Likes Women 28:00 Screens of Masculinity 33:00 The Big Show 38:00 Wine Mom Hell 43:00 Well, That Was Abrupt 46:00 Should You Watch This Say hi to Dorothy and Vrai on Twitter @writervrai and @dorothynotgale Join us every two weeks on Soundcloud, iTunes or Stitcher – and if you’d leave a rating and review, so that more people can find their way to us, we’d appreciate it!

We promised, and we finally delivered: we read the Robot Dildo Arms book, aka a landmark work of queer science fiction aka some fuckery that epitomizes the "fuck you, got mine" of a certain subset of white gay men. Join us as a goofy, harmless fantasy about boning handsome hard-bodied aliens takes a sharp left turn into eugenics and Why Feminism Is Bad. It is. A trip. CONTENT WARNING for discussion of sexual assault, misogyny, animal death, racism, and eugenics 00:30 Author History 7:00 Sexy Desert Masseuse 11:00 Roving Gangs of Teenage Girls 17:00 Young King Jerk-Off 24:00 The Evil Hospital of Evil Women 28:00 AND NOW, EUGENICS 37:30 Knock-off Nurse Ratched 44:00 RIP Twists That Could've Been 47:30 The Great Jizz Heist 53:00 Did We Mention the Cult 58:00 Rover: Cuddly Asexual Robot Bodyguard 64:00 We Had a Climax but We Left it Offscreen 70:00 Final Thoughts Say hi to Dorothy and Vrai on Twitter @writervrai and @dorothynotgale Join us every two weeks on Soundcloud, iTunes or Stitcher – and if you’d l

Our very first guest brought only the best -- one of the most adorable gay romcoms on offer by seriously underappreciated filmmaker Angela Robinson. It's cheesy, it's heartwarming, and it's got a very special place in Dorothy's memories. CONTENT WARNING for discussion of homophobia and racism Visit Alexis on Twitter @TransComics or on Patreon https://t.co/ouY7tEaDNj 1:00 Deja Vu 4:00 History and Availability 9:30 The Premise 12:30 Quality Cheese Aesthetic 16:00 Poor Max 19:30 Ugh. Janet. 21:00 Million Dollar Idea 24:00 This Is Just High School 28:00 The Best Joke 31:00 Solid Budgeting 37:00 That Social Commentary 41:00 TV Gal Pals 48:00 Fancy Homophobia 52:30 Should You Watch This Say hi to Dorothy and Vrai on Twitter @writervrai and @dorothynotgale Join us every two weeks on Soundcloud, iTunes or Stitcher – and if you’d leave a rating and review, so that more people can find their way to us, we’d appreciate it!

We rang in the new year with the latest...well, it's not really the Vampire Chronicles anymore, at least not in a way we can recognize it. The third book in the Prince Lestat series. Join us for an odd book that's barely long enough to be considered a novel, where all the antagonists are wrapped up by the 3/4 mark, and where the plot runs on granting wishes in the most monkey's paw-like style. It....it's bad, y'all. We say that a lot, but like this one is REAL bad. You can actually chart our souls leaving our bodies. CONTENT WARNING for discussion of extreme violence, misogyny, transphobia, racism, slavery, grooming and sexual assault Vrai's Livetweet: https://twitter.com/WriterVrai/status/1047992768323149824 Dorothy's Deadblog: http://goth-mabel.tumblr.com/post/179268536738/blood-communion-deadblog-pt-2 Virtue Coding: http://goth-mabel.tumblr.com/post/171102462308/thanks-so-much-for-your-analysis-what-gets-me-is Special thanks to the Duke University Choir (Dies Irae): https://itunes.apple.com/us/podc

No no, we're not talking about the six short stories written by HP Lovecraft, on which the 1985 film was originally based. We're talking about the novelization of that movie written by Jeff Rovin two years later. It's....well it's a ride. Hey, when you think of Re-Animator, do you think "I sure would like to spend a LOT more time with the horrible villainous rapist character, but without the visual charm of seeing David Gale rediscover his love of acting?" Well, good news Jeff Rovin and one other person. Other highlights include characters having two different, conflicting backstories within the same book; subplots that go nowhere; pacing that results in a scene from 30 minutes in happening halfway through the book, and SO MUCH homophobia. Yes, this is the book that all but directly acknowledges what we all knew, that Herbert West is gay, but does so in the absolute shittiest way possible. We waded through it so you don't have to. CONTENT WARNING for discussion of sexual assault, animal mutilation, raci

We promised we would, so here it is: the book that spent a stunning two weeks on the New York Times Bestseller list despite having a decades-old fanbase, by the novelist who don't need no editor but does have cease & desist letters if you write fanfic, we bring you: the Tale of the Madoka Bird Aliens and the Clone People andalsoohyeahsomevampiresiguess. CONTENT WARNING for discussion of sexual assault, racism, sexism, and TERFiness. Y'know, Anne Rice stuff. Minimal sexualization of teens though! cause none of those characters are in this one. Prince Lestat Podcast: https://soundcloud.com/user-960635156/drunk-book-club-prince-lestat?in=user-960635156/sets/drunk-book-club "Interrogating the Text from the Wrong Perspective": https://fanlore.org/wiki/Interrogating_the_text_from_the_wrong_perspective Bodice Rippers, VC, and Virtue Coding: http://goth-mabel.tumblr.com/post/171102462308/thanks-so-much-for-your-analysis-what-gets-me-is Vrai Livetweets Realms of Atlantis: https://twitter.com/writervrai/status/971

Terry Pratchett is one of the most influential and fondly remembered fantasy authors in the English language, with good reason. That's why we set out to read his worst book, to prove that sometimes really good authors flower from really terrible novels. Or, there is a very good reason why the first piece of advice Discworld fans give is "don't start with the first book." Strap in for a parody that only works if you have an encyclopedic knowledge of fantasy novels from the 80s, and even then it's touch and go. With special guest appearances by the astonishing amount of bullshit in Anne McCaffrey novels. CONTENT WARNING for discussion of sexual assault 1:00 Inroads to Pratchett, and Gaiman 6:30 Seriously the Later Books Thouggh 9:00 The Real World Drunk Book Club 17:00 Uncanny Valley Ankh-Morpork 23:00 Rincewind and Twoflower 31:00 Conan of Argon 38:00 Tent Peg Dragons 46:00 Something with Space 52:00 Editing Issues Say hi to Dorothy and Vrai on Twitter @writervrai and @dorothynotgale Join us every two

Merry Christmas and happy holidays, listeners! We rang in the season the only way we knew how: with a book banned by the Catholic Church. Turned out they weren't happy with the whole "Jesus got his dick out one time" argument. We're just unhappy because it's agonizing. Oh, and it was a major reflection of the post-9/11 Bush years and the stratifying power fantasies inherit in secret societies or whatever. CONTENT WARNING for discussion of misogyny, antisemitism, ableism. 4:00 9/11 Culture 7:30 Dorothy's Spy Grandpa 11:00 3rd Person Omniscient is Bullshit 14:30 The Museum Murder 18:30 Sophie, Head of Cabbage 23:00 It Do Art History Bad 28:00 SYMBOLOGY and Secret Organizations 33:00 The Holy Grail 35:00 You Did Not Do a Feminism 43:30 Dan Brown Thinks This Shit is Real 48:00 THE LAYERS OF BAD REP 52:00 The Climax 59:00 Moar Symmbology 63:00 That Fucking Pyramid 68:00 Anti-Stratfordians 72:30 Should You Read This Say hi to Dorothy and Vrai on Twitter @writervrai and @dorothynotgale Join us every two weeks o

Audrina lives in the shadow of her dead older sister, who was not only perfect in every way but had the exact same name. She's definitely a real, different person, which is why Audrina's dad is constantly pushing her to recover her sister's memories. Welcome to VC Andrews Land, where the protagonists are not like other girls, the sentences are purple, and all of the men are rapists. This one is a doozy for CONTENT WARNINGS: child abuse, sexual abuse, sexual assault, misogyny, ableism, and spousal abuse. All of which this book handles very, very badly. Join us every two weeks on Soundcloud, iTunes or Stitcher – and if you’d leave a rating and review, so that more people can find their way to us, we’d appreciate it!

Okay, so there are these vampires, right? And they all originated from this time a demon possessed a human, yeah? Well it turns out we're all connected by magic ethereal blood tentacles and.... Yeah, lemme get a drink before we get any further into this. Some things are best experienced secondhand. Dorothy and Vrai are here to report these things to you, with the help of a little liquid courage. Join us on our periodical journey through the bad, the weird, and the trashy lowlights of literature, starting with something we both love very, very much: The Vampire Chronicles. Or, we did, before certain sequels turned the hero into an unrepentant rapist and brought in "science" that even L Ron Hubbard would call kind of far-fetched. Now we just can't look away. Join us, won't you? The First VC Fic Dorothy Ever Read: http://www.esque.com/slr/louis_stories/ai_title.html Louis Blue: http://web.archive.org/web/20071117112015/http://www.angelfire.com/va/eternalfire/Specs/Louisblue.html Vrai's PL Liveblog: vraik