Regular Features

In this prematurely spooktastic episode of the Regular Features podcast, Steve does a double haunting ghostwise, and Joe and Gav realise they have finally made it... *record scratch*... in HUNGARY?

Look, we're just going to cop to it. We can't control Matt, but we also won't pretend that we haven't enabled him in the past. We're sorry for what happened. Just know that you're safe now, because he's behind strong Canadian bars. Anyway, now that's out of the way, Joe's got some YouTube comments he can't believe, and Steve's been doing some pretty thorough research about the ACTUAL MOON. Gav has his phone on.

On this week's podcast, Steve brings us a a report from the frontline of a Barry Manilow gig and we're happy to tell you that the ol' Mandy lover's still got it. We've also got Log smuggling in a bit of advertorial as a feature like two Muppets running into a XXX movie. Gav is also on the podcast. Please consider giving us money on http://www.patreon.com/regularfeatures

In THIS one... Matt probes his way around the galaxy. Log shares his tips on how to utterly thrill a baby. And Steve draws back the curtain on the secret life of the Supervet. It's an episode Regular Features, your honour, and our legal counsel has advised us to say no more on the matter.

Wrap your earholes around this one, if you like. If you don't, just leave it on the table and I'm sure somebody else will want it. In this episode Joe lets you live out the squash career you never had. Steve reviews a restaurant that never was. And Log offers you the love you never deserved. Thank you for downloading this. If you'd like to support us on Patreon, you can do that at patreon.com/regularfeatures

In a podcast first, Steve's got a Spider-Man feature, and Log's got a Spider-Man feature, but thank Matt for his insulating layer of non-Spider-Man related whimsy about the videogames industry's darkest secrets to prevent a Regular Features implosion.

It can only be episode 309 of Regular Features, and you know what that means: more tip-top audio content from the boys what love ya. Joe has been properly researching how to show someone a good time without spending any money, except on spaghetti and string. Steve had a argument with a lady so fierce that a pizza shop burned down, and Log introduces a Cockney-off that promises to completely gentrify Mile End. Cram your buds in your lugs and bang your knees together in unfettered glee!

Daddy needs new shoes and the only way he's going to get them is if you listen to this lil podcast o' mine. Gav tried to trick people with meat? Whoa! Steve tells a sexy little story about Spider-man's nighttime num-nums? Hachi-machi! Joe leaves the room to welcome in a very special, very stinky guest? Who dat? U GOTTA LISTEN BABY!

Log tries to take the pressure off of Madonna for her Aretha tribute, by doing one even less appropriate. Matt fuses spookies and politics to erotic effect, and Steve tells a story about a bird.

Joe and Gav dig through old documentation, Steve gets blind drunk and goes to watch a musical, and Log brings the ship into port with journalists on the hunt for tea.

HENCHMAN 1: It is boring here guarding the Bad Base. HENCHMAN 2: I listen to podcasts to pass the time. HENCHMAN 1: Oh, like what? HENCHMAN 2: Like Regular Features of course! It is the podcast of choice for the discerning goon. HENCHMAN 1: Wow, what's on it this week? HENCHMAN 2: Well, Steve went to see a child's movie and was upset, Joe was nearly besmirched for a joke, and Gav tried to inculcate Steve into joining a WhatsApp group about his and his friends' arse-matter. HENCHMAN 1: It sounds awful. HENCHMAN 2: Fuck you Jeremy.

This week Log & Joe blow Gav's mind with a revelation about pedestrian crossings. I know that sounds shit but it genuinely isn't. Please support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/regularfeatures

This week's podcast hears Log, Gav, and Matt slowly melt into the carpet in an especially nostalgia-ridden ramble of an episode. Gavin has a bicycle dilemma, Matt has been Journalism'd, and Log channels the powers of another podcast to hurl shit at three men who royally deserve it. Have a GOOD WEEK

In a coincidence we are describing as "nice", this show's full of ghosts, psychics and troublingly sexy robots. Oh boy, Gav, Log and Steve have got spookies coming out of their collective arses and they're going to pour them down your ears once you click play. SPONSORSHIP FOR THIS EPISODE KINDLY PROVIDED BY HERBIS JON-BRANTHAM.

Hoik up your mother's britches and sidle on up to the latest episode of the good old audio business we call the Regular Features podcast, in which the following things occurred. Steve imagines what the film Skyscraper starring Johnson Rock might be like. Joe becomes infatuated mind-wise with a Plane Bae. And Log prepares for the episode 300 celebration that never was. We hope you like this one. Stay safe.

This is the last ever episode of Regular Features*. Steve and Joe go to town in a soundproof booth, while Log is stuck in Nottingham, a prisoner of football and his awful pub. Will they stitch together an episode? I certainly hope so, otherwise I have NO idea what I just uploaded. *That you will be able to express in Roman Numerals as an uninterrupted string of Cs. GOT YOU GOING THOUGH HUH

Normally, we'd use this description to call you all a bunch of shites or something, but Gav met a man called Robin who's put us all on best behaviour. Love you Robin sorry Robin

Who wears jort jorts? We wear jort jorts, though our jort jorts have almost no bearing at all on the content of this episode of Regular Features, in which Log introduces the Toon Blast community to the squirtin' philosophy, and Matt takes us all on a whistlestop tour of Amsterdahamsterdams. As always, we love you, and stay safe please. You're the only readers we've got.

Welcome to the live show sandwich. The bread is audience applause, the ham is Joe talking about a man he met in a hut, the cheese is Gav making miners angry, the lettuce is Log doing a sexy summer panto, and Steve's dirty Westworld parody is that little stick with an olive. EAT IT, YOU DOGS.

Have you seen the original Blade Runner? No? Oh, you're scuttered, pal, sorry. Come watch us live at the Canal Cafe Theatre on June 4th! It's well cheap and we're fun guys to spend a maximum of one to one-and-a-half hours with: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event?EventId=33507