We Paid To See This

The time has come to say farewell, each moment we’ve spent sure has been swell. We’ve laughed, we’ve sang, we’ve seen some flicks, but mostly we’ve just talked about [male flesh meat]. We be reviewing two films before taking a long, much needed hiatus; addiction drama ‘Beautiful Boy’ (Timothée Chalamet, Steve Carell, Maura Tierney, Amy Ryan), and Luca Guadagnino’s update of the Italian horror film, ‘Suspiria’ (Dakota Johnson, Tilda Swinton, Chloe Grace Moretz, Mia Goth). Old friends stop by. We derail the conversations. It’s business as usual. Thanks so much for sticking with us. It’s been a pleasure -  and we sincerely hope to give you more in the future. So it's goodbye for now but gosh it's been a blast. 

We set the mood and keep it rude this week, while we review the new Danny McBride/David Gordon Green ‘Halloween’ (Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak), the Oscar worthy ‘Can You Ever Forgive Me?’ (Melissa McCarthy, Richard E. Grant, Dolly Wells) and Jonah Hills’ directorial feature debut ‘mid90s’ (Sunny Suljic, Katherine Waterston, Lucas Hedges). Tis the season to run down a list of the highest grossing horror films of all time and throw some love at John Carpenter’s soundtrack work. You bet we mention ‘Your Highness’. On a personal note, when I typed the title of this episode, I, Darren, refused to use the same font Jonah Hills insisted upon using for his film, since he already insisted upon showing his movie in 4:3 ratio and that's about as much insisting as anyone can handle regarding any special requests.  Consider yourself censored, Hills.  No, I insist. 

Outside the streets have gone mad, and between the two of us we spend the equivalent of a day at the theater this week. Reviews include, Damien Chazelle’s ‘First Man’ (Ryan Gosling, Claire Foy, Kyle Chandler), Drew Goddard’s ‘Bad Times at the El Royale’ (Jeff Bridges, Cynthia Erivo, Jon Hamm, Dakota Johnson), and the fourth iteration of ‘A Star is Born’ (Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper, Andrew Dice Clay, Sam Elliott). We talk dong, Hemsworths, and show Buzz Aldrin the door. We close the show with some good, old fashioned email readin’.

It’s a short, campy, schlocky week this go around. We review Panos Cosmatos’ dystopian, revenge film ‘Mandy’ (Nicolas Cage, Andrea Riseborough, Linus Roache, Bill Duke), and shark-centric, monster movie ‘The Meg’ (Jason Statham, Bingbing Li, Rainn Wilson, Ruby Rose). Darren gives ‘The House with a Clock in Its Walls’ a box office boost, just to check out the IMAX 3D release of Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’, and Anthony skips town again. The world’s greatest Erik Estrada joke gets highlighted.

Singing genitalia, Anthony’s new catchphrase, and Darren’s post performance celebration. This week’s reviews include Michael Moore’s political followup ‘Fahrenheit is 11/9’ and Sam Levinson’s social critique, ‘Assassination Nation’ (Odessa Young, Suki Waterhouse, Hari Nef, Abra). Maude Apatow impresses and Bill Skarsgard is in everything EXCEPT True Blood. We rundown a list of our favorite sports announcers, and shoot hot, Halloween juice all up in your furniture.  

We’re short, we’re sweet, we’re taking a week, but that doesn’t mean we’re leaving you completely review-less. We chat about the latest Lizzie Borden film, ‘Lizzie’ (Kristen Stewart, Chloe Sevigny, Fiona Shaw), get our hacking rhymes straight, and never fail to mention the old True Blood. Plus we got offered a pretty bad deal after bars closed the other night, involving an exchange of stolen pizza knots for illicit things. Tune in to find out what, who and wheyey!

Traffic transgressions, driveway tantrums, and a potential first class ticket to internet infamy. We review two films, the socialite documentary ‘Susanne Bartsch: On Top’, and Paul Feig’s comedic thriller, ‘A Simple Favor’ (Anna Kendrick, Blake Lively, Henry Golding). We croon that sweet, sweet Gin Blossom-y sound, drown our sorrows in tequila, and keep the vibe generally loopy. Don't get emotional, baby. 

Our review of ‘The Nun’ is probbably scarier than the actual movie, but still, we saw it so you don’t have to. Corin Hardy directed this next installment of ‘The Conjuring’ franchise - starring Demián Bichir, Taissa Farmiga, Jonas Bloquet, Sandra Teles, Charolotte Hope and way too many nuns.  We also caught the biopic based on the catpure and trial of ‘Adolp Eichman’, the monster referred to as the architect of the holocaust.  Directed by Chris Weitz and starring Oscar Isaac, Ben Kingsley, Mélanie Laurent, Lior Raz, Nick Kroll and Haley Lu Richardson, ‘Operation Finale’  takes on an incredibly imporatant moment in history. Plus we’re visited by our old friend Bill Wilkins and we make everything about Madonna.  Anthony also saw another thing but honestly I’ve given up trying to remember what it was. 

This week, we travel down an absurd vortex of lethargy while we review two new thrillers, the Lenny Abrahamson film, ‘The Little Stranger’ (Domhnall Gleeson, Ruth Wilson, Charlotte Rampling) and the laptop-centric ‘Searching’ (John Cho, Debra Messing, Michelle La). We pit Oscar Isaac and Domhnall Gleeson against each other in a match of beauty, refuse to fall in love, and frequent a seedy theater. We give a bonus review of the body-switching 2016 anime, ‘Your Name’. Hey. Who loves ya? We do. 

Puppet sex, mood lighting, and one of us might be held hostage. Currently. Please send help. This week, we review three fa-hilms! Including the raunchy puppet noir ‘The Happytime Murders’ (Melissa McCarthy, Elizabeth Banks, Maya Rudolph, Joel McHale), Bjorn Runge’s, ‘The Wife’ (Glenn Close, Jonathan Pryce, Christian Slater) and Jon M. Chu’s ‘Crazy Rich Asians’ (Constance Wu, Michelle Yeoh, Henry Golding, Awkwafina, Ken Jeong). We talk two recently classic hunk filled dance scenes, debate water, and deliver the ASMR tingles that no one asked for.

We go long and strong this week, with a show filled with tangents, manifestation, and a whole lot of Pepsi-takin’. Movie reviews include Spike Lee’s ‘BlacKkKlansman’ (John David Washington, Adam Driver, Laura Harrier, Topher Grace), and the latest Nick Hornby adaptation, ‘Juliet, Naked’ (Rose Byrne, Chris O’Dowd, Ethan Hawke). We pitch a new subscription based, virtual experience, enlist Carly Rae Jepsen’s help in saving the world, and read some of your lovely emails. Gattaca! Gattaca! Gattaca!

We take a little brain break this week, and give you a little mini-sode. Fret not! We still bringeth thine movie reviews with HBO’s heartbreakingly masterful ‘The Tale’ (Laura Dern, Jason Ritter, Ellen Burstyn, Elizabeth Debicki). We chat a bit about the late, great John Heard, and speak of a future involving the return of Ms. Jackson, if you’re so inclined to be nasty. Trigger Warning: this episode focuses on a movie that deals with the topic of sexual abuse. 

Almost a half hour goes by before we get to the movies, but we fill the space with some much needed TV talk, including USA’s ‘The Sinner’, Patrick Stewart returning to ‘Star Trek’, and Hulu’s Stephen King series, Castle Rock’. Movies reviewed include ‘The Spy Who Dumped Me’ (Mila Kunis, Kate McKinnon, Justin Theroux), and 1980s tennis biopic, ‘Borg vs McEnroe’ (Sverrir Gudnason, Shia LaBeouf, Stellan Skarsgard). We belt out Mandy Moore, delve to the depths of our hot genitals to croon some Crash Test Dummies, and get analyzed by John Waters.

Is eating honey animal abuse? Can a vegan have a leather couch? Do men’s nether regions droop to the floor as they get older?  The answers to these questions and reviews of three great films! First, the smash hit latest installment of the Mission Impossible franchise, ‘Mission Impossible: Fallout’ (Tom Cruise, Henry Cavil, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, Angela Bassett, Vanessa Kirby).  Then we all serious (there are still gross jokes) with two fantastic documentaries. First up, photographer, filmaker Lauren Greenfield (The Queen of Versailles, Thin) explores the link between money and happiness by connecting a series of personal subject studies and relating the arc of their lives to the happiness quotient.  Then we talk about the sophisticated and visual feast that is ‘McQueen’ ( Ian Bonhôte, Peter Ettedgui) - a documentary about the rise and eventual tragic death of iconic British fashion designer, Alexander McQueen.  

Unfortunate death hashtags, dulcet stylings, and the human condition fuel this episode. We review HBO’s ‘Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind’, gritty sequel, ‘Sicario: Day of the Soldado’ (Josh Brolin, Benicio Del Toro, Catherine Keener) and tease the documentary ‘Generation Wealth’. Sequel titles are analyzed, Tilikum puns are made, and Joe Dante’s ‘Piranha’ 1978 horror classic is celebrated. We celebrate the gene pool of Kravitz and Kravitz related people. Plus we rave about Sacha Baron Cohen's brilliantly subversive political comedy on Showtime, 'Who Is America?'.

Anthony has strong feelings about socks, Madonna cat-calls three identical strangers and we review two films; one a contender for best of the year so far!  First up, there’s the new Gus Van Sant ‘Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far On Foot’ (Joaquin Phoenix, Jonah Hill, Rooney Mara, Jack Black) then we take a deep dive into the heart of teenage angst with the surprisingly strong debut by writer director Bo Burnham, ‘Eighth Grade’ (Elsie Fisher, Josh Hamilton, Emily Robinson, Jake Ryan). Darren gets uninvited to a water park, Anthony refuses to tuck in his bed sheets and we read your email (intentionally singular).

A new form of transportation irritates two men from a small, beach community, one of us goes to the theater just to drink, and you hear the most unqualified sports talk in the history of movie podcasting. Reviews include, Boots Riley’s debut feature ‘Sorry to Bother You’ (Lakeith Stanfield, Tessa Thompson, Jermaine Fowler, Armie Hammer’, Marvel’s ‘Ant-Man and the Wasp’ (Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Pena, Michael Douglas), and basketball comedy ‘Uncle Drew’ (Lil Rel Howery, Kyrie Irving, Shaquille O’Neal). We recap some of history’s most important beer commercials, and learn the Australian word for raisin.

Pine nuts, bee terminology, and one of us is betrayed by our own mother. Two movies are reviewed; ‘Leave No Trace’ (Ben Foster, Thomasin McKenzie, Dale Dickey) and the Neon produced documentary ‘Three Identical Strangers’ plus a brief mention of 'Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist' - the 4-part true crime documentary streaming on Netflix.  Also, a very special phone call, somebody didn’t see a movie, bad theater experiences, underage concerts, Howard Jones, and someone loses their Italian card. If you like pesto, this is the show for you. We riff on Madonna, and 'GLOW’ is back on Netflix, so we're happy(er).

We’re good, we’re calm, we deal with people on the road in a civilized manner. Reviews this week include ‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ (Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rafe Spall, Jeff Goldblum), the heart wrenching documentary ‘Won’t You Be My Neighbor’ (Fred Rogers, Yo-Yo Ma) and indie comedy ‘Izzy Gets the F*** Across Town’ (Mackenzie Davis, Haley Joel Osment, Laakeith Stanfield, Carrie Coon). We meet a Whitesnake fanatic, get hit on by inappropriate people, and lament a world so far removed from Mr. Rogers’. And if you don’t stay for any of that, at least stay for the old rumpy pumpy.

We come at you on Father’s Day in the United States with a trifecta of fun-type movies. Reviews this week include the long awaited Pixar sequel, ‘Incredibles 2’ (Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Catherine Keener, Bob Odenkirk), heist spinoff, ‘Oceans 8’ ( Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Rihanna), and the feel good flick, ‘Hearts Beat Loud’ (Nick Offerman, Kiersey Clemons, Ted Danson, Toni Collette). Cameos happen, we fall in love with an owl man, and get distracted by the pretty records in the wall. Apologies to Natalie Wood and Sharon Tate.