We Paid To See This

Darren’s back from New York, and Anthony is ill; neither event is related. We review Leigh Whannell’s gruesome action flick, ‘Upgrade’ (Logan Marshall-Green, Betty Gabriel, Harrison Gilbertson), Ari Aster’s directorial debut ‘Hereditary’ (Toni Collette, Milly Shapiro, Alex Wolff, Gabriel Byrne) and Bart Layton’s ‘American Animals’ (Evan Peters, Blake Jenner, Barry Keoghan). But we don’t stop there, so get comfortable! Darren speaks on the Andre Leon Talley documentary ‘The Gospel According to Andre’, Anthony gives a very timely rundown of James Cameron’s least successful record breaking film, ‘Titanic’, and Ann Dowd is in everything. A ghoulish friend makes his return.

Darren’s living it up in the Big Apple, but we still give you the goods. We review Paul Schrader’s latest film ‘First Reformed’ (Ethan Hawke, Amanda Seyfried, Cedric the Entertainer), rant about young Leonardo DiCaprio, and complain about another theater experience. We challenge each other to review some classic films that we’ve missed (or avoided). We’re back at you fresh, next week!

An entire episode dedicated to the latest stand-alone film in the Star Wars universe; the Ron Howard directed Han Solo origin film 'Solo - A Star Wars Story'. Starring Alden Ehrenreich, Woody Harrelson, Emilia Clarke, Donald Glover, Thandie Newton, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Paul Bethany and Jon Favreau. If you have't seen the film yet, be aware THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS!

This is a movie focused show darn it, and that’s what you get from us this week. Thrice times, in fact. We review the most recent superhero blockbuster ‘Deadpool 2’ (Ryan Reynolds, Josh Brolin, Zazie Beets) as well as two indie flicks; Olivier Assayas’ recently restored French film, ‘Cold Water’ (Virginie Ledoyen, Cyprien Fouquet) and Michael Pearce’s ‘Beast’ (Jessie Buckley, Johnny Flynn, Geraldine James). We gush over Rob Delaney’s online persona, fall in love with the new Backstreet Boys track, and aren’t afraid to get a little pretentious. Westworld chat continues.

If you came for movie reviews we technically deliver on that expectation. Films discussed include the documentary ‘Boom for Real: The Late Teenage Years of Jean-Michel Basquiat’ and Netflix’s ‘The Week Of’ (Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Rachel Dratch, Steve Buscemi). We get existential on The Container Store, miss the former versions of some comedic powerhouses, and start a mid-show Twitter poll focused on Blondie’s ‘Rapture’ that pits us against each other. Dogs roam free, stale impressions are beaten to death, and we attempt to contain the uncontainable.

We talk the Met Gala, brainstorm religious fashion ideas for Madonna, and expel a fair amount of Catholic Guilt. Plus, Anthony gets sat on, and Darren flips off an entire bar. Movies reviewed include the documentaries ‘RBG’ (Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Gloria Steinem, Antonin Scalia) and ‘Grace Jones: Bloodlight and Bami’, as well as the new Jason Reitman/Diablo Cody team-up, ‘Tully’ (Charlize Theron, Mackenzie Davis, Ron Livingston). We have an extensive conversation on Showtime’s ‘Gigolos’, and find out where TV’s Richard Grieco has been hiding. One of us is visited by a prodding spirit.

It’s happened. We’ve done it. We broke down, and finally welcome our very first guest to the show. Writer/director Andrew Heaberlin joins us to review two films, including Oscar winner Sebastian Lelio’s ‘Disobedience’ (Rachel Weisz, Rachel McAdams, Alessandro Nivola) and the biggest movie in the world right now, ‘Avengers: Infinity War’ (Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Benedict Cumberbatch, Zoe Saldana, Elizabeth Olsen, Chris Hemsworth, Chadwick Boseman, Chris Pratt so on and so forth). We talk saliva, showering with the door open, taking calls on the toilet, and all things sexy. Accents are tough, we don’t go easy on them. Andrew reviews Kennedy biopic,  ‘Chappaquiddick’ (Jason Clarke, Ed Helms, Kate Mara). We imbibe. 

Darren flirts with the dogs, Anthony shuns a desperate stranger, and we flex the parts of us you can’t see; plus one powerful eyebrow. Reviews include Lynne Ramsay’s ‘You Were Never Really Here’ (Joaquin Phoenix, Ekaterina Samsonov, Alessandro Nivola), the Amy Schumer comedy, ‘I Feel Pretty’ (Rory Scovel, Busy Philipps, Michelle Williams), and Michel Hazanavicius’ kinda-biopic, ‘Godard Mon Amour’ (Louis Garrel, Stacy Martin, Berenice Bejo). Names are butchered, stereotypical accents are utilized, and we push for the equality of nudity in film. Don’t tell us we don’t give you what you want, because we talk about Kevin, the season 2 premiere of Westworld, and Nymphomaniac volumes 1 AND 2. Keep on flexin’.   

We’re back on schedule, and we go easy on you. All movies this week can be viewed from the comfort of your own home. Reviews include HBO Sport’s Ringer Films documentary, ‘André the Giant’ (Hulk Hogan, Robin Wright, Vince McMahon), Jake Kasdan’s Dwayne Johnson vehicle, ‘Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle’ (Karen Gillan, Kevin Hart, Jack Black), and 1980’s horror classic, ‘Friday the 13th’. Help yourself to some cold, stranger fries, sing your favorite color-based vagina song, and keep your eyes peeled, our war on the coconut crab begins! And remember, always guard your Achilles tendons.

We’re late, and sorry, and we hope you like dong, because we go all in this week. In addition to our reviews of ‘Blockers’ (John Cena, Leslie Mann, Ike Barinholtz), ‘Gemini’ (Zoe Kravitz, Lola Kirke, John Cho), and the John Krasinski directed thriller, ‘A Quiet Place’ (Emily Blunt, Millicent Simmonds, Noah Jupe), we  talk Darren’s facial blindness, Anthony’s West Hollywood experience, and receive a visit from an old, ghostly friend. San Diego gets some love, we shame members of the animal kingdom, and get our Halloween plans situated well in advance. 

Anthony's Dad and Cousin fight over the ass-end of a lamb cake, Darren films the entire show on his iPhone, Ernest Cline becomes a pornographic verb and we review a couple of movies.  First up, the Steven Spielberg adaptation of the novel of the same name, 'Ready Player One' (Tye Sheridan, Olivia Cooke, Ben Mendelsohn, T.J. Miller, Mark Rylance), then we passive-aggressively shush at teenagers in a sad movie theatre to watch the new Steven Soderbergh directed psychological thriller 'Unsane' (Claire Foy, Joshua Leonard, Jay Pharaoh, Juno Temple, Amy Irving).  This show is good, guys. It's almost as good as the Rick and Morty Australia-themed April Fools mini-episode 'Bushland Adventures' (Google it, trust us!).            GET IN THE CAR, MORDEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!

Anthony’s feverish, Darren misfires at the grocery store, and we play a few rousing rounds of everyone’s favorite teenage party game, F. Murray Abraham. Reviews include the Jim Henson friendly ‘Muppet Guys Talking’ (Frank Oz, Jerry Nelson, Dave Goelz), and Wes Anderson’s ‘Isle of Dogs’ (Bryan Cranston, Edward Norton, Bill Murray). One of us discovers that John Denver is dead, the other disgraces his memory. We talk about eyes, the lack of having eyes, having too many eyes, and what it means to have negative eyes. Darren takes out a contact lens.

Previously, on We Paid to See This, we left you with a grocery store cliffhanger, and we reveal the results of the accompanying Twitter survey that you participated in, but not before we accidentally cliffhang the cliffhanger. Movie reviews include ‘Tomb Raider’ (Alicia Vikander, Dominic West, Walton Goggins), ‘The Last Jedi’ doc, ‘The Director and the Jedi’, and ‘Flower’ (Zoey Deutch, Kathryn Hahn, Adam Scott, Joey Morgan). We debate Michael’s Fass-member, pop the soda can of virginity, and experience heartbreak at the Apple Pan.

BREAKING NEWS: The news sucks, so we open the show discussing how to disconnect from the negativity, while staying informed (i.e Darren's laptop is broken so he can't get sucked in to social media as much).  Movie reviews include ‘Thoroughbreds’ (Olivia Cook, Anya Taylor-Joy, Anton Yelchin), Armando Iannucci’s ‘The Death of Stalin’ (Steve Buscemi, Jeffery Tambor, Jason Isaacs), and the Oscar Winner for Best Documentary Short Subject ‘Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405’. Anthony raves about Iannucci’s previous film, ‘In The Loop’, Darren gets traumatized by SNL, and we talk about Sarah Michelle Gellar’s career post-vampire. We rundown South by Southwest, truly show that we care about our listeners, and introduce the delightfully self-pleasuring, Hans Fray. The show ends on a Maddow-like cliffhanger. Who’s to say if it will pay off?

We come to you in the wake of Oscar weekend, and boy was the Academy predictable. Movie reviews include the documentary ‘All Things Must Pass: The Rise and Fall of Tower Records’ and Atsuko Hirayanagi’s debut feature ‘Oh Lucy! (Shinobu Terajima, Kaho Minami, Josh Hartnett, Shioli Kutsuna). We praise the multitalented Donald Glover, breakdown the Academy’s Best Original Song performances, and reminisce about the glory days of listening booths. Darren waits and waits for Megan Mullally, but does she ever show up?

This week, we learn the key to a proper selfie hashtag, let Janelle Monae rocket us into pop music’s future, and literally enter the wrestling ring. We review Alex Garland’s sophomore film, ‘Annihilation’ (Natalie Portman, Tessa Thompson, Oscar Isaac), and John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein’s ‘Game Night’ (Rachel McAdams, Jason Bateman, Kyle Chandler). Anthony laments the Bronze medal loss of Great Britain’s Women’s Curling team, we analyze the career of the delightfully magnificent Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Darren is still wearing the hat.

Darren’s got a new hat, Anthony’s curling allegiances get tested, and somewhere Fergie is still singing the Star-Spangled Banner. Reviews include, Ryan Coogler’s Marvel superhit, ‘Black Panther’ (Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Lupita Nyong’o, Daniel Kaluuya), and Sally Potter’s experimental joint, ‘Party’ (Patricia Clarkson, Timothy Spall, Kristin Scott Thomas, Cillian Murphy). Letitia Wright has our hearts, one of us abandons a movie, and we watch two people tongue-bang during happy hour.

We come at you hot this week with two new movies in our pockets; Swedish best foreign picture nominee, ‘The Square’ (Claes Bang, Elizabeth Moss, Dominic West), and the Channel 4 documentary ‘George Michael: Freedom’ which can now be found on Showtime. We crush on the collective lung capacity of Great Britain’s women’s curling team, scold the music industry, and wish to buy CDs again. We love our Spotify overlords. Honestly, we do. They force us to.

This week, we talk the Super Bowl, the Justin Timberlake/Prince halftime show controversy, and the new Star Wars ‘Solo’ teaser. Movie reviews include ‘Mom and Dad’ (Nicolas Cage, Selma Blair, Lance Henriksen), Netflix’s surprise film ‘The Cloverfield Paradox’ (Gugu Mbtha-Raw, David Oyelowo, Chris O’Dowd, Daniel Bruhl) and Chile’s Oscar nominated ‘A Fantastic Woman’ (Daniela Vega, Francisco Reyes, Sebastian Lelio). We read an email, debate James Bond, but mostly get down to business.

It’s the inaugural broadcast from our urine-filled, post-nuclear bunker. For those of you that have survived the aftermath, or mutated beyond the Homo sapien species, we update our thoughts on Rian Johnson’s ‘The Last Jedi’. We also review two Netflix films, the sport doping documentary, ‘Icarus’ (Bryan Fogel, Grigory Rodchenkov, Dick Pound), and the National Lampoon semi-biopic, ‘A Futile and Stupid Gesture’ (Will Forte, Domhnall Gleeson, David Wain, Emmy Rossum). We question our normality, talk bird, and annoy the living hell out of each other. Please. It’s very important. Dick Pound is a real guy’s name.