The Trap Sodcasts

It’s happy birthday Jeremy... or at least it would be if he didn’t have to do this ‘bloody sodcast’. Still, it gives you all the perfect opportunity to hear him physically age, LIVE.Aside from him getting on a bit, we do all the things you’d do yourselves if you had a psodcast but with an added very special guest at the end, so stay tuned for that if nothing else.

The usual stuff. Plus a new feature! Yep, we’ve had another idea! Bow down before our sheer invention...By the way, today’s picture is a sublime tribute to the beauty of EHC given to us by the delectable Mr Simon Kane...

Welcome to the first Event Horizon Crescent free Psodcast! Well the first for a while anyway. Yes, without the heavy burden of EHC to record we plough straight into the show without warming up whatsoever resulting in a messier than usual affair. Sorry about that. We do cover some very important ground I’m sure, what that might be though is anyone’s guess...

More of this from us. We cover a lot of ground in this week’s tremendously lively festival of shitballs. But we do it in a sad way as we mark the last ever episode of the vaguely beloved institution that is Event Horizon Crescent. It’ll be sorely missed. By a couple of folks.

Happy new year as we fly into 2012 only 24 days late with one of our more unlistenable efforts. Luckily, the rambling psodcast is entirely thrown into relief by 50 minutes of self-indulgent outtakes from vent Horizon Crescent which we defy you to get through. Don’t try, you won’t make it. Anyway, we’ll be better next time as it will be the final EHC so we’ll be delighted.

Well Christmas is a time for old traditions: Christmas pies around the festmus wasp, sticking your stocking up a chimney for Satan, mulled wine poured all over your Dickens and listening to the annual Chissmus Psodcast. So Jingle Belm to one and all as you settle down for the festive season with a jolly bunch of lads, one of whom is tremendously tired having just flown in from Cape Town filled with the joys of the apartheid.Then it is time for your penultimate episode of Crezzie - drink it in, every word, cos come next time, it’ll be gone. Thank Santa Fuck!

Yes, you read that right. Thanks to the excellent Chris Limb and his suggestions, from now on we are a Psodcast! So what does that mean in real terms? It means we’ve added a p. Anyway, launching us on this brand new exciting venture is a solid hour and half of fresh, prime bullshit. Although a good chunk of that is a large morsel of EHC so don’t get too excited. Although, of course, this episode is the antepenultimate one, so not long to go now folks!

Well who’d’ve thunk it, we gone and done another sodcast in’t we. And gor blimey if it in’t a cracker. There’s ‘ates an’ spottids and commints and such. We ‘ear about Paul’s latest ‘oliday and lawd luvvaduck don’t we ‘ave a right old time of it. Then it’s Event Horizon Crescent. Like usual. I’m running out of things to say in these. I’m not sure anyone reads them anyway, they’re pretty unnecessary, you want to know what happens in the sodcast? Listen to it. Christ.

Opening with an awful fanfare and the usual torrent of noise it time for another one of those sodcasts that you tolerate so much...Excitingly, we try out a new feature this week which helps keep things moving slightly: we sent out a call on Twitter for any questions from our audience and received literally a couple of replies to that mixes things up a little.Anyway, you’re only here for Cressie so I don’t know why I’m bothering to tell you about the rest of it. Cressie’s good this time. Once again saving us from putting in too much effort we have a shower of guest stars this week bunging their two penneth in. So that helps.

Hey there belmfans, it’s time for another round of bullshit cocktails with your friendly neighbourhood Trap outfit. In case you didn’t manage to make it along to The Trap X then you can hear us briefly talk about it which should give you a thoroughly good idea of what you avoided. We then go on... At the end is EHC and get your listening face ready cos it’s going to be a biggun. Set in court. Where Foggit’s on trial. And what happens is...

As the nation descends into an abyss of frenzied such and such and mindless whatever, we bring you a special emergency Trap sodcast. Please, only use it in the event of dire circumstances or if you’ve really, absolutely, positively got nothing better to do.As a measure to attempt to quell the tension sweeping the nation, this sodcast will not contain an episode of Event Horizon Crescent. So, none of the carefully scripted, lovingly produced entertainment you’re used to, just the hour or so of waffling bullshit that usually precedes it.Stay safe, stay super and stay sexylovely.

And we’re back, with tales of abroad! Heaps of spotteds, Metro is its usual shit self, some first class cordon bleu hates and we reveal, exclusively, the complete plans for the 2012 Olympic opening ceremony.Then it’s time for another bloody game-changing episode of Event Horizon Crescent.

As other podcasts wither and die, we plough on unnecessarily, bashing out the same old tosh on an occasional basis for our 7 loyal listeners. Hooray for us!This week we decide that the term ‘sodcast’ has been ruined and we need a new name so this’ll be your chance to stick your oar in. So get sticking over at the poll! Or leave a comment! Or do something worthwhile with your life!Then Cressie sits there at the end like a particularly stodgy pudding after an unpleasantly fatty meal. And that’s yer sodcast!By the way, don;t forget to buy your tickets for our upcoming new live show The Trap: X on at the Camden Fringe August 25th-28th. More details here: http://www.camdenfringe.com/

Hello again! Well what do you know, it’s only another hour of cack and fancy from your three favourite ‘arseholes’. This time out there’s the barely-awaited return of The Special Crap People Show; Metro is, as ever, shit and the word ‘swit’ gets a good going over. After all that, what better way to unwind than slipping into a nice warm bath of Event Horizon Crescent? With large friendly letters on the cover.

What? We’ve been busy!Anyway, poll’s back.

After last time’s massive overexcitement, it’s time for the groggy, morning-after comedown. Yes it’s back to business as usual as the three of us lazily try and stitch together something vaguely listenable to try and stave off the onset of Event Horizon Crescent for as long as possible. However, we do discover that Metro is becoming more like our version of Metro than ever before, which is pleasing and depressing in equal measure.Also, we’ve dumped the poll - deal with it.

Yes it’s finally here! An obscenely bloated and overcooked bucket of sodcast to celebrate 50 of these “bloody things”.We bring back some old favourites and there’s also a special celebratory EHC but, most excitingly of all, we’re joined by the marvellous Margaret Cabourn-Smith who simultaneously raises and lowers the tone in her own inimitable way. Anyway, sorry it’s so fucking long but you don’t have to listen to it all you know.

Well it’s the last sodcast before we turn 50 and we sure do go out with a bang. A big bang. A big stupid bang. Bangs eh? While going out with the bang, we sadly forgot to mention we are in association with Chortle which would have given us the perfect opportunity to play our new Chortle jingle that Ben Howey so kindly made us. Still, this means it will have its debut in the highly-anticipated 50th Sodcast! If we don’t forget again.

Four cunts in a room talking.Los Quattros Cvnts at The Phoenix, Cavendish Square - Wednesday 2nd February 2011 Doors open 7.30pm

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Like a drunk uncle at midnight, we stumble across your threshold clutching not a lump of coal but a lump of sodcast! Lucky you.We set out our stall for the new year by hating a whole new bunch of things and delivering what is, by quite some distance, the worst thing Carla Lane has ever sent us. Metro is still shit of course and we let you in on just how our Christmases went down. I won’t give anything away but the phrase ‘River Fish’ is used.Then Event Horizon Crescent happens and we can all go home.