The Smart Couple Podcast

Jayson answers listener questions: How should you deal with trauma responses in intimate situations? Should your partner have access to your phone? What should you do if your partner isn’t interested in personal growth? What is the right way to apologize? Is it possible to make a relationship work with an emotionless partner? Find the answers to these questions and more on this episode of The Relationship School Podcast. Timestamps: 2:19 - Trauma responses in intimate situations 5:55 - Dealing with a condescending partner 7:45 - Should your partner have access to your phone? 11:58 - Partner isn't interested in personal growth 14:32 - Apologizing 16:13 - Emotionless partnerships 18:45 - Intentions and apologies Links: My Relationship Coach (MRC) Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero Sign up to get Jayson's weekly newsletter via email Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok Twitter Facebook

Jayson and Ellen offer advice for anxious new dads. Why do many new dads struggle to enjoy parenting? What happens when men become aware of their relational needs for the first time, and how should they approach meeting those needs? Should new dads consider therapy? What kind of support should new dads seek from their male friends? What about sex? If you're a new parent or know new parents, you won't want to miss this. Timestamps: 1:23 - When men struggle to enjoy parenting 14:57 - Men becoming conscious of their relational needs 24:42 - Support from other men 29:33 - Avoidant men 33:52 - Sex Links: Sign up to get Jayson's weekly newsletter via email Enroll in Relationship Mastery Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok

Jayson talks with Dr. Peter Levine about the subject of trauma. Peter shares the harrowing story of what happened when his father testified against the mafia and explains why he decided to get vulnerable about his trauma in his latest book, An Autobiography of Trauma: A Healing Journey. Jayson and Peter discuss how the perception of trauma has changed recently, the danger of retraumatizing people, the process of healing trauma, and why you should be careful about who you choose to share your trauma with. Don’t miss this powerful episode. Timestamps: 4:05 - Why Peter decided to get vulnerable 11:39 - Is it important to tell your story? 18:15 - Testifying against the mafia 26:22 - Healing from trauma by sharing 34:29 - Relationships and trauma 40:46 - Trauma and association 50:07 - Retraumatizing people 59:21 - Action step Links: https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/ https://traumahealing.org/ Healing Trauma With Peter Levine - Peter Levine - 328 My Relationship Coach (MRC) Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zer

What’s the #1 mistake people make after getting their feelings hurt? Jayson discusses how to handle hurt feelings, his experience with shutting down after experiencing hurt feelings, and how to work through hurt feelings. Tune in to find out how you can turn hurt feelings into an opportunity to grow into a more resilient, self-respecting, and confident person. Timestamps: 3:09 - The mistake people make when their feelings get hurt 6:18 - Jayson's experience with hurt feelings 10:18 - Feel your feelings 14:47 - Takeaway Links: The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok

Ellen Boeder interviews Johannah Reimer to find out how women can help teen girls. They discuss the unique problems that teen girls face today, the evolutionary mismatch between the environments we evolved in and modern life, the importance of doing hard things and Johannah’s Girls Group Facilitator Training, “Pathways to Womanhood”which is about guiding and supporting girls on their journey to womanhood. Johannah is a soulcentric educator, ceremonialist, teen mentor, and an artist of many trades. Trained as a Waldorf teacher, Johannah has been working with children of all ages for over 20 years and holds a particular passion for tweens/teens striving to meet their developmental needs for mentorship and initiation in a culture that has forgotten how to do so. An apprentice of visionaries: Sage Hamilton and Melissa Michaels of SOMA Source, Johannah has worked for many years as a Waldorf teacher under the guidance of her elder Sage, and as an embodied leader for international youth in movement based Rites of Pa

Jayson opens up about his recent prostate cancer diagnosis. He talks about the causes of cancer, letting people’s care in and his recommendations for how men should monitor their health as they age. This episode is a PSA for men over 40, if you haven’t been screened for cancer, now is the time. Timestamps: 2:16 - Jayson's experience 6:34 - Causes of cancer 9:01 - Letting people's care in 12:15 - Recommendations for men over 40 Links: Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok Twitter Facebook

IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn: To see your partner as a sacred mirror and sanctuary for the growing your greatest actualized self The true characteristics of a long-term partnership How your partnership is the optimal container for complete transformation of yourself into the highest possible version imaginable How to fall in love and why this is more important than being married How to take radical responsibility for being loved in every moment of your life How to actually get your needs/wants met in a partnership How to know if conflict in your relationship is driving you toward or away from more magnificence There’s a ton in this episode so dive in and go slow. And, Here’s a great question from Annie to ask yourself if you are trying to decide to stay or leave: Is the person I’m being called to become by what my partner’s asking me to become (if you take on the growth-development framework), will you become a more extraordinary version of yourself? If who they are asking you to become is a constricted,

Most of us have no idea how damaging relational stress can be. In this episode, legendary medical doctor and psycho-physio-spiritual trailblazer Dr. Gabor Maté brings some very grounded, practical examples of how relationship stress can impact our lives. The result of stress can be seen throughout the web of our life and it’s up to us to learn how to relate and attach well to our fellow humans. I love how this man turns such complicated topics into common sense. If you want a deeper cut about your marriage, children, or any stressful relationship, this episode is a must listen. SHOWNOTES What happens when Gabor’s wife forgets to pick him up at the airport. [8:30] How our partners are perfectly suited to help us grow. [10:35] What happened in Gabor’s childhood that makes his wife a perfect match for him now. [13:00] The long-term cost of not dealing with stress. [15:00] How parents can be compromised by raising their children. [17:30] The link between our relationship health and our physical and mental health

Are you attending couples therapy but feeling like you're not making progress? Jayson and Ellen delve into why couples often find themselves spinning their wheels and offer insights on how to propel your relationship forward if you're feeling stuck. They also tackle the issue of spiritual bypassing, emphasizing that true letting go is a gradual process. Timestamps: 2:01 - Couples not making progress 7:36 - Doing the work 22:28 - Overly spiritual couples Links: The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership U.S. listeners, sign up for relationship tips and support direct to your phone by texting this number: 720-704-4850 Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok

Irka and Eugene join Jayson to talk non-monogamy. Is monogamy inherently restrictive? Do people in polyamorous relationships have boundaries? Is non-hierarchical polyamory possible? What role does sexual exploration play in a polyamorous relationship? Is non-monogamy for you? Whether you’re monogamous or not, you’ll find plenty of wisdom in this insightful conversation. Timestamps: 8:45 - Definitions and terms 11:40 - Boundaries 19:52 - Thirds 34:09 - Is monogamy inherently restrictive? 37:39 - Sexual exploration 42:27 - Is non-monogamy for you? 51:03 - Communication 53:51 - Advice for high school kids 57:45 - Links 59:15 - Action step Links: Covalent Life Ethical Monogamy My Relationship Coach (MRC) Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero Sign up to get Jayson's weekly newsletter via email Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok Twitter Facebook

In this podcast, I interview Satyen and Suzanne, both long-time students of David Deida. These two are super honest, loving individuals, and wow have they been through a lot! There share some very vulnerable details about how they navigated religion, affairs, and fighting. They give you concrete practical tools you can try right now with your partner. These guys live it! SHOWNOTES How did Satyen and Suzanne start caring about relationships? [4:27] Why did Satyen resist marriage? [7:00] What ingredient was the “it” factor for Suzanne’s attraction to Satyen? [7:44] What role did religion play in their relationship? [10:42] How did fighting about food bring them closer? [12:15] What impact did David Deida have on their connection? [14:28] How did they create a new template for their relationship? [16:06] The most challenging period of their relationship [18:02] One really important practice to heal from infidelity [20:15] Satyen and Suzanne demonstrate a powerful tool to express emotional pain to your partner [

Jayson shares his thoughts on the controversy surrounding popular podcaster Andrew Huberman. What can we learn about ourselves and our relationships from the online reaction to the recent revelations about Andrew Huberman? What are you projecting onto the authority figures in your life? Are you putting people in your life on a pedestal, and how will you react when they inevitably fail you? Timestamps: 2:17 - What can we learn from the Andrew Huberman situation? 5:24 - Pedestal to pit 13:55 - Are you projecting on to authority figures? Links: FREE Webinar: How To Resolve Conflict & Create Powerful Relationships Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok

Relationship pain has a very clear purpose. If you are hip to it, you’ll thrive in relationships. If you are uneducated here, you’ll run away and play the victim. Direct and to the point, I suggest a very important daily practice for you to strengthen your mindset about long-term partnership. Pain hurts indeed. And, what if pain was your ally in disguise?   Relationship Pain Daily Practice I have two choices with my relationship pain: 1. Use it to make me weaker by whining, complaining, and blaming others (or myself). 2. Use it to make me stronger by seeing it as my ally to master the lesson it’s bringing me. It’s 100% of the time up to me to choose. Timestamps: 3:15 - Two choices when it comes to relationship pain 9:32 - The first thing to NOT do when in relationship pain 13:40 - The good news about pain and stress 19:40 - The link between your emotional pain and your numbing habits 24:37 - Action step Links: The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership Sign up to get Ja

Are you simply defaulting to monogamy? Have you ever genuinely asked yourself, "Would a different sexual model work better for me?" Dan Savage, an author, sex-advice columnist, podcaster, and public speaker, suggests that we should all regularly pose these questions to ourselves. Dan and his husband have chosen what they call a "monogamish" relationship. They've acknowledged that it's impossible to fulfill all of your partner's needs, and that's a message from which we can all learn. While we typically focus on monogamous long-term relationships, in this episode, we'll explore how various types of relationships can be successful. Tune in and prepare for some introspection into your own sexual expression. Timestamps: 5:00 - What does monogamish mean? 11:27 - Eroticism in a long-term relationship 17:24 - Bringing in a third 23:37 - Monogamy as the default setting 31:00 - Changing broken marraige norms 33:50 - Dan's relationship journey 46:49 - Allowing for erotic autonomy 53:57 - Dan's advice for young people

Jayson and Ellen discuss conflict, communication, and problem-solving versus understanding. What's the issue with being a conflict-avoidant couple? When is it appropriate to problem-solve and offer advice to a long-term partner? Can excessive understanding become problematic? Tune in to hear Ellen and Jayson offer a few simple strategies that you can use to resolve your communication issues. Timestamps: 1:51 - Avoiding Conflict 11:21 - Solving communication problems 17:04 - Problem solving vs understanding 20:28 - The conflict-repair cycle 22:31 - Taking action vs understanding Links: Enroll in Relationship Mastery Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok

Jayson coaches the couple, Anya and Bodhi. The last time this couple appeared on the podcast was in episode #364 when they were in the midst of deciding whether to stay together or break up. Since their last appearance, they have grown into a strong and stable couple. In this episode, they discuss the turning point in their relationship that led to them staying together. They also work through current tensions in their relationship related to conflicting schedules and navigating a small living space. You won’t want to miss this insightful conversation. Timestamps: 5:17 - Anya & Bodhi's turning point 13:23 - Individual growth 20:00 - Getting to the root of relationship tension 33:34 - Feeling trapped by a lack of connectedness 39:05 - Spontaneity vs. responsibility 43:00 - Different schedules 47:00 - Helping your partner feel less judged 1:00:30 - Being true to yourself vs. being considerate 1:08:59 - Action step Links: Coaching a Couple Through Staying Together or Breaking Up – Jayson Gaddis – 364 FRE

Jayson is joined by his son Lucian for a conversation about the unique challenges of being a teenager in high school. What are the challenges of being from a relationally focused family? What kinds of stereotypes do teens face? Why do so many parents over-parent their kids? You won’t want to miss this candid father-son conversation. Timestamps: 3:52 - Boys in high school 5:28 - Social media apps 6:19 - Waldorf vs. public high school 9:21 - The relational family experiance 16:41 - Challenges high school kids face 20:25 - Over-parenting 23:41 - How to get teenagers involved Links: Apply to Relationship Coach Training U.S. listeners, sign up for relationship tips and support direct to your phone by texting this number: 720-704-4850 Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok

Is it possible to truly love someone while you’re still infatuated with them? In this episode, Jayson and Ellen talk about the trap of falling in love and why it’s important to learn to live with the reality of who your partner actually is instead of projecting your fantasies onto them. How can you make your partner your priority every day? What should your relationship boundaries be? It’s time to take a deep dive into the world of love after infatuation. Timestamps: 2:16 - Infatuation vs. love 6:16 - Reality vs. fantasy 20:00 - Accepting people for who they are 24:48 - Know your relationship boundaries 28:16 - Love after infatuation 31:52 - Our impact on others Links: Sign up to get Jayson's weekly newsletter via email Enroll in Relationship Mastery Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok  

Jayson talks about dealing with division in the world, digital minimalism and getting unstuck in your relationship. Can solving division in the home help make the world a better place? How do you know when you’re stuck as a couple? What should you do if you’re stuck? Would you like to be the next guest on The Relationship School Podcast? Listen in to find out more! Timestamps: 4:01 - Couples, how do you know when you're stuck? 11:47 - Dealing with division 19:25 - Action steps Links: FREE Webinar: How To Resolve Conflict & Create Powerful Relationships Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok

Jason coaches two women live on the podcast. How should you deal with the experience of a long-term partner ghosting you? What should you do when you feel self-doubt and loneliness? How can you find meaning in the end of a long-term relationship? You won’t want to miss the chance to sit in on this powerful coaching session with Jayson, Katie and Camille. Timestamps: 4:09 - Katie's story 8:27 - Being there for yourself 16:26 - Katie's personal growth journey 26:17 - Camille's story 29:56 - Dealing with a partner who ghosted 37:46 - Finding meaning in the end of a relationship 46:51 - Finding your anchor Links: Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50" The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok