The Smart Couple Podcast

Helping children learn to be financially responsible is one of the most important jobs that parents have. James Ure joins Jayson to talk about how a family economy can help you give your child the best chance to achieve success and independence when they leave home. Should you pay your child for chores? How much of an allowance should you give your child? What is the difference between bribery and empowerment? How can you teach your child the importance of saving, investing, and giving to charity? You won’t want to miss this insightful conversation. Timestamps: 8:31 - What is a family economy? 13:55 - Creating incentives for kids 25:55 - Tracking a family economy without an app 37:41 - Using money and screentime as motivators 41:54 - Bribing vs. empowering 45:37 - Implementing a family economy 53:31 - The Greenlight app 57:46 - Big purchases 1:01:09 - Where to find James 1:02:34 - James' advice for high school students 1:03:40 - Action steps Links: Apply to Relationship Coach Training U.S. listeners, sign

Jayson and Ellen team up to talk about working with men in coaching and therapy. How can you tell when a man is ready to grow? How does couples' work help men? What are the advantages of attending a men’s group? Are men more comfortable with male or female therapists? If you’re a man or you have men in your life, you won’t want to miss this insightful conversation. Timestamps: 6:16 - Ways that men get stuck 10:52 - Working through men's defensiveness 13:56 - Recognizing men's issues 17:27 - How male clients project 21:10 - Are men more comfortable with male or female therapists 24:48 - Men's groups 29:44 - How couples work helps men 31:35 - How to get men to change 34:09 - Making sure a man is ready to grow 36:34 - Action steps Links: Free Webinar: Relational Warriorship for Men The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok

Bruce was one of THE pivotal factors in helping me marry my wife before she slammed the door shut on me. Hear that story in this episode and why it’s so common for couples to struggle. Bruce offers a powerful frame for relationship and intimacy and makes the distinction between the developmental work we need to do, and the possibility that we are “already free” in relationship. Check it. Timestamps: 4:29 - Jayson's history with Bruce 7:22 - Dealing with contradictions in relationships 15:11 - The value of separateness 23:04 - The practice of personal responsibility 27:26 - Bruce shares about his marriage 32:37 - How Bruce became a therapist 38:42 - What is a successful relationship? 43:19 - The impact of parenting on Bruce 47:13 - Sexual intimacy in a long-term relationship 55:43 - Personal responsibility 1:01:19 - Bruce's book, Already Free Links: Bruce Tift's Website 10 Agreements of an Indestructible Marriage Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching wit

What’s wrong with wanting a healthy relationship? Jayson and Ellen are here to break it down. "Healthy" is a poorly defined concept, which can create nebulous expectations that are impossible to live up to. If you’ve written yourself off because you believe you’re incapable of having healthy relationships, it’s time to level up and start focusing on how you can foster growth-oriented relationships going forward. Tune in to learn how you can set realistic expectations and define the relationship experience that you want. It’s time to plan for reality and aspire for greatness. Timestamps: 4:57 - Defining what “healthy” means 7:09 - Deciding on the relationship experience you want 8:41 - Creating realistic expectations 11:14 - Plan for reality, aspire for greatness 15:00 - Don’t write yourself off 16:49 - Growth oriented relationships 19:17 - Action steps Links: U.S. listeners, sign up for relationship tips and support direct to your phone by texting this number: 720-704-4850 Follow Jayson on social media: I

Ellen joins Jayson to discuss menopause and its impact on relationships. What is menopause? Do women in non-western cultures experience menopause differently than women in western cultures? What happens to women’s hormones during menopause? What about hormone replacement therapy? Tune in to hear Jayson and Ellen share their personal experiences surrounding menopause and learn how you can nurture your relationships through the menopausal journey. Timestamps: 3:34 - What is menopause? 7:02 - How does menopause impact relationships? 13:53 - How does culture impact the experience of menopause? 16:50 - Why are resources for menopause scarce? 19:01 - What happens to women’s hormones during menopause? 21:54 - Jayson’s perspective 30:40 - Keeping your partner in mind 37:24 - Resource recommendation 41:51 - HRT Links: Enroll in Relationship Mastery Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50" Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok

Jayson and Ellen share valuable insights about nurturing antifragile confidence in sensitive children and offer practical tips for creating a supportive environment that encourages resilience and emotional well-being. Gain a deeper understanding of what defines a sensitive child. Discover practical strategies and compassionate approaches for navigating moments when your sensitive child is hesitant or resistant, and learn how to find the balance between challenging your child and respecting their emotions. Whether you're a parent, caregiver, or simply interested in understanding the dynamics of parenting sensitive children, this episode offers a wealth of wisdom. Tune in for a discussion that will empower you to embrace and celebrate the uniqueness of your sensitive child while fostering a foundation of strength and confidence. Timestamps: 5:54 - What is a sensitive kid like? 9:29 - Overprotective parenting 14:20 - Are you asking too much of your child? 19:40 - Helping your child build antifragile confidence

In this episode, Jayson is joined by best-selling author and functional medicine practice success coach Sachin Patel. Do you or your partner struggle with snoring? Is it a constant challenge for you to get enough sleep? Sachin offers some basic steps that you can take to begin turning your health around. These range from simple changes you can make today, such as adjusting ambient home lighting, to incorporating effective breathing techniques. If you’re interested in taking control of your health, you won’t want to miss this fascinating conversation. Timestamps: 6:23 - Who is Sachin Patel? 8:11 - Sachin's wellness journey 17:44 - Why don't people do what's good for them? 28:16 - Why is nose breathing so important? 33:20 - Snoring 43:07 - Basic steps to change your health 48:42 - Advice for young people 52:59 - Action step Links: Connect with Sachin Patel Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50" The End The Struggle With Him R

Everyone wants to be in a securely attached relationship, but what does secure attachment really look like? In this episode, Jayson and Ellen talk about secure attachment and address some common misconceptions. How can you know the difference between infatuation and secure attachment? How long does it take to develop secure attachment in a romantic relationship? How do securely attached relationships differ between different couples? Tune in to learn how you can create and maintain long-lasting and meaningful partnerships. Timestamps: 2:00 - Secure attachment vs. infatuation 5:21 - How long does it take to know if you’re securely attached? 8:59 - Working through the challenge stage 11:26 - Misconceptions about secure attachment 20:25 - Make sure you both want the same type of relationship 23:02 - Action steps Links: Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50" The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership Follow Jayson on social media:

Jerry Colonna joins Jayson to discuss leadership and the longing to belong. How can parents help get their kids to adulthood? Why is it important for leaders to do the inner work? How can self-awareness help you access your empathy? How can you be more effective as a coach and a leader? Whether you’re a parent, a coach or a leader in some other capacity, there’s plenty to learn from Jerry’s story and his insights. Timestamps: 8:19 - Why is it important for a leader to do the inner work? 12:11 - Accessing empathy through self-awareness 15:52 - How parents can help kids get to adulthood 19:23 - Being effective as a coach 27:54 - Where's the power? 30:27 - Depression in middle-aged men 33:09 - The seductive nature of doing 36:43 - Belonging 40:09 - The family dynamic 42:21 - Feeling alone in a crowd 45:16 - Nurturing true belonging 52:20 - How many corporations are doing the work? 57:16 - Taking a relational position as a leader 59:28 - How important are partners? 1:01:00 - Psychoanalysis 1:06:50 - Leaders nee

Jayson explores the seven revealing signs of spiritual narcissism and the journey to authentic transformation. Join Jayson for insights into recognizing these behaviors in spiritual narcissists, from lingo mastery to their struggle with attachment work. Learn how to distinguish genuine growth and see when a spiritual seeker becomes an empowered, empathetic individual. Timestamps: 3:57 - Seven signs of the spiritual narcissist 4:42 - Talking the talk without walking the walk 5:54 - Unsuccessful long-term relationships 6:37 - Recreating the family of origin 7:25 - A lack of empathy 8:05 - Fear of attachment 9:19 - Refusing to do the work 10:47 - How do you know if they’re changing? Links: 7 Signs of the Spiritual Narcissist and How to Know if They are Truly Healing 2 Types Of Narcissism & How To Avoid Them - Dr. Stan Tatkin The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok Twitter Facebook

If you’re in the personal development space, chances are you’ve heard the term 'doing the work' thrown around often, but what does it really mean? Is there a right way to do the work? How can you gauge whether your personal development work is really having an impact? Jayson and Ellen share their insights about what it means to 'do the work' and touch on topics from intimate relationships and family to psychedelics and yoga along the way.   Timestamps: 5:14 - What does "doing the work" look like? 8:17 - The litmus test for personal growth 10:15 - Why intimate partnership is so important for personal development 16:25 - Holding more complexity 21:12 - Doing the work should have results  23:45 - The role of relational context Links: Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50" The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok Twitter Facebook

Jayson sits down with author, philosopher and CEO, Brian Johnson, to talk about how you can reach your heroic potential. Brian shares Seven Objectives that you can implement today to supercharge your personal growth journey. Learn how to forge antifragile confidence, optimize your big three and dominate the fundamentals. If you want to master yourself and activate your superpower, this episode is a must listen. Timestamps: 4:35 - Who is Brian Johnson? 12:04 - Seven objectives 13:55 - Antifragile confidence 23:23 - Sidestepping lizards vs slaying dragons 27:03 - Dominating the fundamentals 32:00 - The victim inside 35:20 - Knowing the ultimate game 44:11 - Optimizing your big three 48:52 - Tips for learning and reflection 52:45 - Ambition 58:52 - Brian's advice for young people 1:04:57 - Action step Links: https://www.heroic.us/ The End The Struggle With Him Roadmap & Monthly Group Coaching Membership Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50" Sign up to get Jays

Do you feel like you need to pick yourself back up? Jayson has a few words of encouragement for you today. All of us have an inner warrior that has gotten us through life’s trials until this point and Jayson offers two great tips for how to connect with that warrior part inside ourselves. He also shares a hack that can help you when life feels like it’s too hard. Tune in to learn how embracing hardship and getting out of your victimhood can help you meet life’s challenges. Timestamps: 3:20 - Warriorship 9:05 - How do you meet challenges? 11:18 - Embrace hardship 15:31 - Your life is yours to deal with Links: Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50" Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok Twitter Facebook

Lisa Dion joins Jayson to talk boundaries. Boundaries are one of the most important tools in intimate relationships. How much you struggle to say no can say a lot about how much you value yourself. You must have boundaries if you want to go the distance in a relationship. Timestamps: The huge breakthrough insight about boundaries that Lisa shared with Jayson [6:38] The four things our brain is always scanning for to determine if there is a threat or challenge [8:34] What is Lisa’s definition of a boundary? [14:30] Jayson and Lisa demonstrate how to set a boundary [17:43] The big fear we all carry in ourselves [23:15] The weakness many of us have when receiving a boundary request [23:12] What are the most common feedback signs our body gives us? [27:00] The three types of boundaries [32:06] Jayson issues a boundary challenge [45:08] Links: http://lisa-dion.com http://synergeticplaytherapy.com Enroll in Relationship Mastery Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero U.S. listeners, sign up for relationship tips an

Jayson and Ellen talk entrepreneurship. What inspired Jayson to create The Relationship School? What is it like to be in a relationship with an entrepreneur? What drives entrepreneurs? Can you be addicted to stress? Are you afraid that you’ll lose your motivation if you do the inner work and deal with your issues? Listen to discover how both your relationships and your business can benefit when you stop letting stress and inadequacy drive you. Timestamps: 2:59 - What is an entrepreneur? 4:48 - Why do people want to coach entrepreneurs? 8:05 - How do entrepreneurs fuel their work? 19:49 - What does it look like to run a business in an integrated way? 24:11 - Can you get addicted to stress? 29:48 - Applying a growth mindset to every area in your life 31:24 - Advice for partners of entrepreneurs 36:09 - How being preoccupied causes issues in the family system 41:48 - Being proactive Links: Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50" Sign up to get Jayson's weekly newsle

Xavier Dagba is a coach who focuses on shadow integration and trauma informed transformation. He has an inspiring story that emphasizes the power of listening to the voice inside and following your passion no matter the cost.  Why is shadow work so important? What can you learn from your imposter syndrome? Can envy ever be used in a positive way? Join Jayson and Xavier for a powerful conversation that will change the way you think about yourself and your relationships. Timestamps: 4:08 - Who is Xavier? 15:15 - How can you learn to listen to the voice inside? 24:18 - Xavier's journey to becoming a mentor 31:07 - Shadow integration 32:41 - Working with envy in a positive way 39:22 - Fatherhood 51:40 - What can imposter syndrome teach us? 1:04:00 - Xavier's advice for kids 1:08:00 - Action step Links: Sign up for Jayson's free Connection Secrets webinar here! Find Xavier Dagba online here Enroll in Relationship Mastery Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube Link

Friends are some of the most important relationships in our lives, but some types of friendships help us grow more than others. Jayson explains why you need to cultivate friendships with people who are comfortable challenging you and who aren’t afraid to go deep. Learn why it's so important to have two of this type of friend and how you can set an intention to foster this type of friendship in the future. Timestamps: 2:21 - Friends that aren't great for you 3:48 - The type of friend that you need 8:03 - Why you need 2 of this type of friend 10:56 - Setting an intention to go deeper in your friendships Links: Sign up for Jayson's free Connection Secrets webinar here! Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok Twitter Facebook

Why do people get complacent in long-term relationships? Jayson and Ellen discuss a situation where a couple mutually decided to put their marriage on the back burner to avoid conflict. What are the drawbacks of using complacency as a coping mechanism? Is ignoring your relational needs in order to avoid conflict a sustainable long-term strategy? Tune in to learn how to break out of the complacency trap and get real with your partner today. Timestamps: 2:22 - Using complacency to avoid conflict 5:30 - Is being complacent okay if it reduces conflict? 7:29 - The drawbacks of complacency as a conflict avoidance strategy 8:37 - When relationship feels like a demand instead of a gift 12:38 - Complacency doesn't solve underlying issues 17:55 - Avoidant people need relationship too 20:22 - Is ignoring your emotional needs sustainable? 23:04 - Standing for three Links: Order Jayson's book: Getting to Zero Sign up to get Jayson's weekly newsletter via email Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn

This is a pretty charged issue. On the one hand, some people really believe divorce is one of the major causes of problems in children. On the other hand, newer research suggests that kids are fine coming from divorced families, and in fact may even be more resilient and capable of handling life’s challenges. If you really think divorce is going to mess up your kids, think again… Timestamps: The erroneous assumption that comes along with divorce statistics [3:30] What is the real issue here? [8:40] The problem with divorce/marriage research [12:20] What I suggest you do if you are in a dead marriage [15:40] Links: Get 50% off your first month of relationship coaching with the promo code "First50" Follow Jayson on social media: Instagram YouTube LinkedIn TikTok Twitter Facebook

What can you learn from divorced people and what can you learn from people who have been married for a decade or two? What are the main differences? There are two and we cover them in this episode with author Mark Manson. We also explore how Mark navigated a big challenge with his now wife and why self-improvement and self-awareness are so essential to long-term partnership.   Timestamps: 1:03 - Episode introduction 4:36 - Mark Manson's backstory 8:52 - Common issues and challenges 10:42 - Healthy boundaries 15:28 - How important is it for couples to have friends outside their relationship? 17:13 - Challenges in marriage and how to get through them 26:04 - Is respect more important than communication? 31:17 - How school ill prepares us for life 33:57 - What can we learn from people who have been divorced? 36:50 - Cultivating self-awareness 40:38 - Mark's preferred methods of introspection 42:54 - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck 46:24 - Action Steps Links: Mark Manson's website Masterclass Library Enrol