Parks N Wrecked

We’ve wrapped up Season 5 so that means it’s time for a bonus episode! We’re recapping everything about the season, including some of our favorite new characters, whether Ron will be a good father, (our money is on OF COURSE), what a Parks and Rec video game would look like, and we take a “Which Parks and Rec Character Are You?” quiz.Plus, Sean talks about his rec center closing down for a week before opening as a voting site and the disappointment it’s brought among the community. We’re going off on plenty of tangents, too. We dive into Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater, The Price is Right, the joys of having inbox zero at work, playing the lottery at a gas station, and a guest star from the early days of Parks n Wrecked is getting married.Take the character quiz here!Watch the video from the ’96 Summer Olympics that Sean talks about!DRINKS OF THE EPISODEPassionfruit Malibu with Questionable Mango Juice from the FridgeWatermelon and Kiwi TrulyRuby Red Grapefruit Beer from Shiner

It’s the Season 5 finale! Are you better off than the start of the show? Leslie’s trying to argue that Pawnee is, and name drops a bunch of great movies about dancing, like Honey and Step Up 2 The Streets. But the townsfolk aren’t having it. We get it—now if we want to start our day with a triple decker pancake pizza, we have to go to the Paunch Burger 10 minutes away. And don’t tell me to not have that for breakfast, because I will NEVER consider that!Meanwhile, Andy is carrying a pregnancy test around for this entire episode. Tom’s business is thriving and even has a potential interested investor, but he’s still dating Mona Lisa, who is the wooooorst.Plus our top Seattle attractions from T-Mobile Park to MoPOP, great moments on The Price is Right (including the time Manuela gave away a car), and whether or not the movie Shazam starring Sinbad actually exists.We’ll have a super jam-packed bonus episode next week where we’ll probably answer that question again: Are you better off?EPISODES5, E22: Are You Bette

There’s a big vote to be had, which means it’s time for Putt Putt! Leslie and Ron face off in a battle for Councilman Jamm’s vote – and this episode features a special guest appearance from Esther Povitsky, Joey’s childhood friend!Meanwhile, Tom and Ann are both trying to break up with Mona Lisa (as a boyfriend and friend, respectively), but only one is successful. Who could it be? Andy is also kicked out of Mouse Rat. Kind of. Maybe he should start going to practices.Plus, Sean has some choice words for Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Joey talks about very close calls with band members not showing up, and we talk about the most famous people we know.EPISODES5, E21: Swing VoteDRINK OF THE EPISODEFireball with RumchataTOP 5 OF THE EPISODETop 5 Times Sean Has VotedCATEGORIESBands with at Least Two Lead Singers

Jerry’s retiring! Didn’t he let anyone know? Well, in any case, we’ll have to find a new Jerry, and in a delightful cartoonish twist, it’s Tom! Get it, because Tom and Jerry is already a cartoon? Badum tsh.We get to see Jerry in his natural element at home, and he’s suave and delightful. Leslie and Ben try to help him achieve all of his hopes and dreams. This episode also features Chris and Ann continue to be hesitant about having children. Will they ever start this beautiful family of theirs?Plus, Haleigh delivers Sean a birthday treat, we discuss the merits of macaroni pizza, and controversial white elephant gifts and strategies.EPISODES5, E20: Jerry’s RetirementDRINK OF THE EPISODEMural Agua Fresca Cerveza from New Belgium BrewingTOP 5 OF THE EPISODETop 5 Reasons to Have an Office PartyCATEGORIESSongs with Food in the Title

Patton Oswalt guest stars in this episode and goes on a filibuster for the ages. There are also a lot of dumb rules in the Pawnee constitution – like annually throwing people named Ted into the water – so Leslie does her best to rewrite some of ‘em. To add even more fire to the flame, Leslie and Patton have to stay at an old cabin for two weeks. And Andy realizes butter is his favorite food.Meanwhile, April works on pitting Ron and Chris against each other during the Chris Traeger Management Training Seminar (or CTMTS, for short). Will she succeed? Probably. She’s sneaky like that. Ann and Ben are also pitted against each other, but it’s on a weird eBay-esque bidding site.Plus, the most obscure things about watching sports, Sean once again has to deal with a crappy situation at work, and we dive into fun statues and fake fans in and around baseball stadiums.Most importantly, Sean is now 33 years old! He’s Scottie Pippen, Larry Bird, and Patrick Ewing all at once. What a great age.EPISODES5, E19: Article TwoDR

So many fantastic guest appearances in this episode. Harris Wittels and Colton Dunn are here as Harris and Brad from Animal Control, AND we get Dennis Feinstein, played masterfully by Jason Mantzoukas. Even Eric Isenhower shows up as Orin – with a speaking part!Ben, Tom, and Andy have some mighty sucking up to do to raise money for charities, while Chris injures one of his running feet. Leslie, Chris, and Ann interview potential new Animal Control candidates, and Jerry negotiates a lower salary for his current job. Magnificent.Ron is also very sick and has to eat a banana. Who will emerge from this royal rumble showdown?!Plus, Sean tries to play ultimate frisbee for the first time in a hot minute and struggles mightily, we dive into railway workers and the phrase “Gandy dancer,” and we talk about having to dress up during game days in high school. Oh, and please visit the Wikipedia page for high fives.EPISODES5, E18: Animal ControlDRINK OF THE EPISODECoastal Conservation Ale from Karbach Brewing CompanyTOP 5

Ben ruined the city of Partridge, MN when he was 18 years old, but now they’re ready to forgive him. Surely this isn’t a trap. Meanwhile, Councilman Jamm is suing Ron for punching him in the face during Leslie’s wedding. And guess what? Ron would do it again if he has the chance.Also, Chris and Ann are distraught after a series of mishaps. Could this mean they won’t be good parents? We’ll find out by the end of the episode.Plus, we’ve got excessive beards, activities to do on a boat, and Ben gets misty-eyed watching The Price Is Right! We’re not so different, after all.EPISODES5, E17: PartridgeDRINK OF THE EPISODENational Standard from Tupps BreweryTOP 5 OF THE EPISODEBoat MemoriesCATEGORIESSuper Smash Bros. Melee Characters

Leslie offers a bailout to a local movie store, but it backfires with hilarious results. April and Ann are best friends for a week, and together with Donna they perform a stirring rendition of “Time After Time.”Jenny Slate as Mona-Lisa Saperstein makes her first appearance in the show, and that’s really all you need to know. Brandi Maxxx is also back on the scene, much to the delight of Sean.This episode has (at least according to Joey), the BEST cold open in the entire show. Do you agree?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd2rWeswwGwPlus, we cover the Parks and Rec reunion,  Also, we really got off on a college basketball tangent there at the start, didn’t we?EPISODES5, E16: BailoutDRINK OF THE EPISODEMeridian Hive Honey – Mead In AustinTOP 5 OF THE EPISODEUnderrated Karaoke SongsCATEGORIESTypes of Flowers

Leslie and Ben are married, but you’d barely know it from this episode. Instead, Leslie is trying to give a funny speech at a correspondents’ lunch, though it’s gonna be hard when her speech gets stolen. And Ben has a new job at Sweetums – remember that from a previous episode? Because we sure don’t – and quickly realizes he needs to whip things into shape.Meanwhile, Ann is still looking for a sperm donor, and she’s considering one Chris Traeger. Talk about some palpable tension!Plus, we’re diving into the phrase “open up a can of whoop-ass,” we briefly dive into how babies are made (it’s via storks, right?), and discuss our first CD purchases.EPISODES5, E15: Correspondents’ LunchDRINK OF THE EPISODEScrappy Boy Amardillo Ale WorksTOP 5 OF THE EPISODEThings Sean has had stolen from himCATEGORIESStar Wars Characters

Wait, are Leslie and Ben really going through with this whole “let’s get married tonight” thing? Sure seems like it! That means everyone has jobs. Leslie and Ann are working on procuring a dress. Ben and Chris are looking for wedding rings. Ron is walking Leslie down the aisle. Donna’s giving us GREAT vocals. Andy and April are finding marriage licenses. Tom and Jerry (hehe) are writing a speech.But wait! Councilman Jamm is here to try and ruin everything. Luckily, the Pawnee parks crew isn’t about to let anyone get Jammed today. And Leslie and Ben will get their big day after all.Plus, all kinds of drama around Animal Crossing, a deep dive into grenades (including a dissection of the song “Grenade” by Bruno Mars), and Joey is fired up about The Last Dance documentary on the 1997-98 Chicago Bulls. We also reminisce about the time our dog brought in a rat from outside. YIKES.EPISODES5, E14: Leslie and BenDRINK OF THE EPISODELimetastico Sour Mexican Lager from Blue Owl BrewingTOP 5 OF THE EPISODETop 5 Covid Sta

This episode hits EXTREMELY close to home – Pawnee is simulating an avian flu pandemic right as we’re living a coronavirus pandemic. And perhaps in a fitting display of the world simply not giving an eff, this episode is also riddled with technical difficulties. But much like Pawnee, we will persevere!In any case, Leslie is getting Jammed all over the place. She’s stuck with Ann and Chris in a simulation to test the city on their emergency preparedness. Meanwhile, Andy and April are studying for a police exam, and the rest of the gang is trying to round up chairs for the evening’s big gala. Donna found one and has a lead on another. The excitement is palpable.Ron’s also fielding questions on a talk show, which warrants its own paragraph.Plus, we’re talking about fire drills, Joey reminisces about his experience working on TV shows in college (and funny news reporter segments in general, like this one or this one). Oh, and he’s hearing things, too, like the word pigeon. And we’ve got more things to do during s

Ann is looking to have a child, so she starts interviewing potential sperm donors. And boy oh boy are the pickings slim. As a result, Leslie is doing her best to stop everything, as is her MO. Meanwhile, Ben, Ron, Chris, and Tom taste test food for the wedding, but the calzones treat them incredibly poorly. How dare they. But this leads to one of the best scenes in the entire series, so we’ll take it.For some reason, Leslie can’t attend ANY town hall meetings this week. That means April and Andy are in charge. They also get to deal with a very delightful cameo from Harris Wittels.Plus, we’re chatting Disneyland, how Vice Presidents used to openly duel people, flip cup challenges, and the life advice that has served Sean well throughout his entire life.EPISODES5, E12: Ann’s DecisionDRINK OF THE EPISODECoffee Porter from Last Stand BrewingMinute Maid Fruit Punch (with low sugar!) mixed with Malibu Coconut RumTOP 5 OF THE EPISODEMajor Decisions Sean Has MadeCATEGORIESBreakfast Cereals

We may be social distancing, but we’re not letting that get us down! And perhaps it’s fitting that the world is knee-deep in garbage, because we’re covering the the episode “Women in Garbage” today. Sean is far away and sounds a bit like he’s in a well, but we’re doing our best with what we can, people.For some reason, Ron once again has to play babysitter for his girlfriend, Diane, Warrior Princess. She can’t seem to find adequate care for her children! Luckily, Ron’s got Ann on his side, and she’s terrible at watching kids, too. Meanwhile, Leslie and April are picking up garbage to show they’re just as proficient as men when it comes to tackling sanitation needs. Oh, and Andy and Ben are trying to teach Tom how to play basketball. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t go well.Plus, frustration with the government, dumb people that blatantly ignore useful rules, and we provide some activities you can do while practicing social distancing. And Haleigh gets SUPER heated during her Top 5. Take a listen!EPISODES5, E11: Wome

We’re celebrating a ton of bachelor parties (and one bachelorette party). That means a lot of fancy drinks, penis-shaped items, and general shenanigans. The boys certainly have a better time, though, between Settlers of Catan and tossing a football around with members of the Indianapolis Colts. There are also a lot of celebrity cameos in this episode, so hope everyone is keeping a close eye on things.Plus, we’re talking about former professional athletes, how you can turn any meal into brunch, childhood schoolyard games, and Sean lets us know how many mini Totinos Pizza Rolls he ate the other day. Spoiler alert: it’s an uncomfortable amount.This episode is also FILLED with great quotes, so if you need fun things to say around the house over the coming weeks, we’ve got you covered.EPISODES5, E10: Two PartiesDRINK OF THE EPISODELocal Buzz Honey Rye Golden Ale from Four Corners Brewing Co.Hop Rising Double IPA from Squatters Craft BeerAustin Eastciders SangriaTOP 5 OF THE EPISODECurrent NFL Quarterbacks I’d Like

This is one of the finest episodes of Parks and Rec but probably not one of our finest podcast episodes. But we’ll let you be the judge of that, eh? Jerry’s hosting a dinner party and the people that are usually the meanest to him haven’t been invited. Leslie, Ron, and Diane try to avoid the madness that is Tammy 2 at a woodworking awards banquet. Shenanigans ensue, including a lot of flashing and a fight in a dumpster. Meanwhile, Chris is drinking FULL FAT eggnog. What is he thinking?We also talk about some delightful video games that feature soccer elements like Rocket League, Crazy Taxi 2, and Excitebike. Plus, the weird ways to spell Haleigh and the introduction of Jerry’s family! And Duke Silver makes another appearance! What lucky ducks we are.EPISODES5, E9: Ron and DianeDRINK OF THE EPISODEJeppson’s MalortTOP 5 OF THE EPISODECabin Fever ActivitiesCATEGORIESChristmas Songs

Leslie Knope is MAD this episode because she has to deal with those rude folks over in Eagleton, who want to build a park for Pawnee. And a big chunk of the Pawnee crew is helping Tom get Rent-a-Swag off the ground. Meanwhile, Andy and April have some of their greatest shenanigans and wrap it all up by helping a lost kid (named Joey!) find his mother. But we do say goodbye to Burt Macklin, one of the best damn agents the FBI has ever seen.We recently celebrated Haleigh’s birthday, so we’re all kind of tired. Also, you know…the news is pretty sad lately. But we’re not talking about that, mainly because we recorded before things went to hell this week. Instead, we’re chatting the deliciousness of McDonald’s cookies, how parks get created, and seeing Jen Barkley in car commercials.Sean also has a very special announcement in this episode, and it’s 100% worth tuning in for that. Thanks for listening.EPISODES5, E8: Pawnee CommonsDRINK OF THE EPISODEBud Light SeltzerTOP 5 OF THE EPISODEPizza ToppingsCATEGORIESSimps

April wants to build a dog park, but the best location for it is Lot 48, home of Leslie’s triumphant big accomplishment formerly-a-pit-but-eventually-turning-into-a-human-park. Of course, that won’t fly with Leslie, so IT. IS. ON. Meanwhile, Tom is looking for more Rent a Swag investors, Ben keeps getting job offers, and Andy is trying to solve a criminal case right inside the very walls of town hall.Plus, we’re talking about mediating disputes at work, Sean has regular encounters with a customer that has poor hygiene, and we dive into the NBA All-Star Game festivities, including the dunk contest, despite the fact all of this happened two weeks ago. Better late than never, amirite? On top of that, we theorize about hypothetical dunks we’d like to see. It’s absolutely magical.EPISODES5, E7: Leslie vs. AprilDRINK OF THE EPISODELady Bird Lemonade from Uncle Billy’sTOP 5 OF THE EPISODEActivities Our Dog DoesCATEGORIESDog Breeds

Ben and Leslie are engaged – time to throw a party! There’s only one problem: Ben’s parents can’t stand each other, and Ben is worried they’ll derail the whole shindig. Meanwhile, Tom and Jean Ralphio have a new business idea, but it seems only Tom is taking it seriously. Will that be enough for Ron to invest? We’ll have to find out! Also, Chris is sad. But what else is new?Sean’s planning a work trip FOR parks and rec activities. What a fun time! This week was Fat Tuesday and we certainly celebrated in style (via eating 65 pounds of food). He’s also furious over the new pizza from Pizza Hut that features cheese sticks as part of the crust. Things are just getting wild over here.EPISODES5, E6: Ben’s ParentsDRINK OF THE EPISODECider Noir from Texas Keeper CideryTOP 5 OF THE EPISODEExcuses to Miss WorkCATEGORIESBreakfast Items

It’s Halloween! Ron and Andy are in charge of Diane’s kids, for some reason. Leslie is flustered because she and Ben are planning to start their life together, but all of a sudden, Ben might not be coming back to Pawnee. What a surprise! But spoiler alert: it’s not the biggest surprise of the episode.Meanwhile, some of the gang is watching thriller-we-wish-was-real Death Canoe 4. In more serious news, Jerry also suffers a fart attack, necessitating the need for a garage sale. What kind of fun treasure will the Pawnee crew dig up? Plus, it’s the birth of Rent-a-Swag! Tom finally has a great business idea, and we’re so proud of him.We also dive into all the random pizza holidays that have been created over the past few years. And Joey shares a fun book worth checking out, Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything. What a tasty tome!EPISODES5, E5: Halloween SurpriseDRINK OF THE EPISODEBrethen of the Road Riesling from WincTOP 5 OF THE EPISODEThings to Look for in a New HomeCATEGORIESHorror Movies

We’re talkin’ ‘bout sex, baby! Leslie has to teach senior citizens about sex education, but Marcia Langman (and her husband Marshall) are here to make things difficult. Meanwhile, Tommy Edamame is obsessed with screens, so Ron takes him out to get some fresh air and real-world experience. It’s disastrous, as you might expect.Meanwhile, we share some of our more memorable sex education moments. Sean thinks April and Ben are about to become an item - will he prove to be a mind reader of the future? In the meantime, he’s mad about MANY things, including some that are actually topical to parks and rec. This could totally be a deleted scene from Parks and Rec! Except none of us were on the show so it would be a confusing B-plot. Either way, Mike Schur would probably dig it. Let’s get a reboot going!We also sprinkle in Pokemon puns and noises throughout the episode. Which reminds us, Sean and Joey once re-enacted every Pokemon move in real life. Here it is!EPISODES5, E4: Sex EducationDRINK OF THE EPISODETito’s Vodk