Synopsis
The fellows from System Mastery and friends take to recording bad movies upon request!
Episodes
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Movie Mastery – Megamind (2010)
15/04/2022 Duration: 01h23minOne of the few actually decent DreamWorks animated films but it still can’t escape the dreaded “all the characters dance” ending.
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Movie Mastery – Dirty Love (2005)
31/03/2022 Duration: 01h29minIn what I can only describe as one of the worst movies that we have ever seen; Jenny McCarthy takes some time off from spreading misinformation about vaccines to write and star in a humorless “comedy” where everyone sucks and nobody learns anything.
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Movie Mastery – Croczilla (2012)
18/03/2022 Duration: 01h17minThrill as a very large but not kaiju-sized crocodile harmlessly wanders around the Chinese countryside causing some mild panic and light property damage.
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Movie Mastery – The Toxic Avenger (1984)
04/03/2022 Duration: 01h20minAn earnestly fun, low budget comedy with high gore and nudity content that would honestly have aged pretty well if it weren’t for all the racial slurs and homophobia.
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Movie Mastery – Megaforce (1982)
19/02/2022 Duration: 01h19minWhen you need a problem solved and nobody else can get it done, you call the legally distinct from G.I. Joe men at Megaforce.
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Movie Mastery – The Lawnmower Man (1992)
04/02/2022 Duration: 01h40minA movie that took the name of a Stephen King short story but has absolutely nothing in common with it and yet somehow still manages to be an extremely Stephen King movie.
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Movie Mastery – Renaissance Man (1994)
22/01/2022 Duration: 01h35minThe classic “how do I reach these kids” teacher movie with a military twist and you better believe that there’s a scene where these army teens drop a sick Hamlet rap.
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Movie Mastery – Freddie as F.R.O.7. (1992)
07/01/2022 Duration: 01h39minSpecial guest James D’Amato joins us in a review of Britain’s extremely cursed foray into the world of animated movies. A film with a plot so absurd that there is no way the movie can do it justice.
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Movie Mastery – A Wrestling Christmas Miracle (2020)
23/12/2021 Duration: 01h08minWhoever it was that decided this should be on our list both understands exactly what this show is about and also is a terrible person. Hitting some surprising new lows on this one.
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Movie Mastery – Duel (1971)
10/12/2021 Duration: 01h22minOk but the movie poster claims “the most bizarre murder weapon ever used” and that’s just not even remotely true. Killing someone with a truck is real fuckin basic. You kill someone with some Pumpernickel bread and maybe you can claim most bizarre murder weapon.
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Movie Mastery – 3 Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998)
26/11/2021 Duration: 01h24minThe 4th and final installment of the 3 Ninjas series goes out on a “what?” as Hulk Hogan helps some kids fight terrorists that are also ninjas that have taken over an amusement park.
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Movie Mastery – Deadly Prey (1987)
13/11/2021 Duration: 01h13minA group of mercenaries accidentally kidnap the worlds most killingest badass for their murder training and he picks them off one by one using nothing but a knife, his wits, and a sweet pair of daisy dukes. Somehow, this is turned into the most tedious and boring movie we’ve watched in a while.
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Movie Mastery – Goosebumps (2015)
28/10/2021 Duration: 01h19minYou remember those horror books aimed at kids that were super popular in the early-mid 90’s? Well, they definitely cashed in on that in a timely fashion with this movie in 2015!
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Movie Mastery – Sleepaway Camp (1983)
14/10/2021 Duration: 01h20minIt’s still queer horror week for this Horrortoberfest and, unfortunately, this one is the dark side of the offerings given how this movie views gay and trans people. I will never allow Jef to watch good horror.
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Movie Mastery – Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
30/09/2021 Duration: 01h25minIn a pulp fiction alternate 1939, nefarious plans are afoot and only the dashing Sky Captain can put an end to this world ending threat. Also, everything looks like it’s been soaked in piss and smeared with vaseline.
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Movie Mastery – Miami Connection (1987)
17/09/2021 Duration: 01h19minA treasure previously lost was found once again by the Alamo Draft House. Now everyone can enjoy the earnest, goofy, terrible movie that is Miami Connection and the rockin’ yet oddly sweet lyrics of Dragon Sound.
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Movie Mastery – They Live (1988)
02/09/2021 Duration: 01h26minA terrifying, inhuman elite controls society and keeps people under control through television, advertising, and the help of their recruits that work to maintain the suppression of any rebellious actions. Also, we watched a John Carpenter film!
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Movie Mastery – The Dark Crystal (1982)
20/08/2021 Duration: 01h17minThe classic 80’s film that tried to see if a full puppet movie could work. With some gorgeous design work from Jim Henson and Brian Froud and performances from classic Muppet actors, it almost does. Almost.
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Movie Mastery – Wild in the Streets (1968)
06/08/2021 Duration: 01h20minA movie that dares to ask the unthinkable question: What if the youth of America actually gave a shit about politics and showed up to vote? Truly a terrifying thought.
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In Theaters Now – Space Jam: A New Legacy
23/07/2021 Duration: 01h19minThe Loony Tunes are back and ready to create a giant commercial for WB properties and also basketball kind of happens.