Breaking Bread Podcast

Many explanations for our present realities harken back to our past. After all, who of us has not been shaped by the layers of life upon life? The marriage relationship is a crucible whereby these past experiences have a very present voice. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer explains the impact past trauma plays in present marriages. Understanding this unwelcome visitor in our today marriage relationship provides a great deal of explanation for the interactions we experience between spouses. It also, unlocks a hopeful path for an increasingly healthy marriage. What is trauma? Sometimes our present experiences trigger danger, even when we are objectively safe. This may be a sign of trauma. In our past, traumatic experiences threatened our safety. Today, experiences may trigger that past offense and send negative reactions surging through our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Trauma can affect all areas of our life including the marriage relationship. Thoughts are triggered by trauma: Trauma strikes

The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want. This classic Bible verse from the Psalms sums up the whole of contentment. Yet, there are some well-worn pitfalls. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Tom Waldbeser and Isaac Funk address these and how they can be avoided.

Contentment is not the ability to do without. Rather, it is possessing all that matters. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Tom Waldbeser and Isaac Funk present this possession from which contentment is a byproduct. Contentment is: A state of mind. Being satisfied. A learned experience. Contentment is hindered by: Entitlement Contentment comes by way of: Understanding our limitations. Managing our expectations. Abiding in Jesus. Knowing God. Taking our pain to God. Offloading our desires onto God. Contentment brings about: Thanksgiving. A lifestyle whereby we live within our means. A relinquishing of control. A reduced anxiety about tomorrow.

Sometimes caring comes with a cost. An emotional tax. Overtime we can become spent, tired, irritable and overwhelmed. Living in a world with lots of cares, compassion fatigue is real and is having its impact. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Brian Sutter help us understand how to maintain a measure of health while at the same time engaging in a hurting world. The brokenness of our world is brought to our awareness in increasing measure. From pandemics, natural disasters, wars, famines, injustice, oppression, mistreatment, tragedy, political debacle and societal changes, we are in no lack of matters for which we are aware and for which we care. If the brokenness we are confronted with in our world at large was not enough, matters of deep care and concern fill our personal lives. Loss, divorce, addictions, aging parents, disabilities, financial hardship and more make demands and draw on our physical and mental compassion reservoir. In many ways, a reservoir is a good illustration for the cap

The abortion issue is charged and complicated. Yet there is a simple reality every time - there are two lives to love. In this episode of Breaking Bread this love is made evident by two guests who example what loving life looks like in the hard reality of an unplanned pregnancy. Rita Metz is a sonographer at a pre-abortive ministry called Living Alternatives Pregnancy Resource Center and Kevin Knapp is a volunteer staff member with the connected post-abortive ministry called Deeper Still. Together they beautifully elevate Jesus in this crisis.   Living Alternative Pregnancy Resource Center webpage: Pregnancy Resource Center | Living Alternatives Deeper Still ministry webpage: www.godeeperstill.org

: Perfectionism has a strange advantage among those it afflicts. A need for perfect. Wonderfully there is a perfect answer. Christ came to be our perfection. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. helps us understand socially prescribed perfectionism and the answer Jesus is to the perfection we long for. Show notes We love perfectionists. Who wouldn’t want a perfectionist as their builder, accountant, or surgeon? Perfectionists hold high standards and are successful and acclaimed because they do. This is precisely why perfectionism is tricky…strengths can become weaknesses. Three types of perfectionism: Self-oriented perfectionism Definition: A person with very high, exacting standards for themselves. Unhealthy Measure: Specific performance Unhealthy Mindset: It needs to be perfect, or I’ve failed. There is no “good enough” in their thinking. Unhealthy Result: Harsh self-criticism & low self-compassion leading to discouragement & depression Remedy: They need to rethink success and reward

“Do your best and leave the rest” is a tricky balance for the perfectionist. Yet it sums up a measure of health for those who have high, exacting standards for themselves or others. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. teaches us about two types of perfectionism. Show notes We love perfectionists. Who wouldn’t want a perfectionist as their builder, accountant, or surgeon? Perfectionists hold high standards and are successful and acclaimed because they do. This is precisely why perfectionism is tricky…strengths can become weaknesses. Three types of perfectionism: Self-oriented perfectionism Definition: A person with very high, exacting standards for themselves. Unhealthy Measure: Specific performance Unhealthy Mindset: It needs to be perfect, or I’ve failed. There is no “good enough” in their thinking. Unhealthy Result: Harsh self-criticism & low self-compassion leading to discouragement & depression Remedy: They need to rethink success and reward the right thing. Was it adequate? Health

Desires can be tricky. Is it okay to have them? Is it okay to voice them? What if I get my way? Does that make me selfish? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter helps us understand how having and voicing desires is not all bad, in fact, it can be healthy. Unhealthy Desire Healthy Desire Desire for things that God has not allowed. Desire for things that God has given to us to enjoy. Selfishness: insisting on satisfying one’s desires in a way that brings about strife and is at the expense of others. Voicing desires while understanding that others have desires that will need to be acknowledged. Damages relationships. Enhances relationships.    

Vulnerability has become a popular ideal. Authenticity, openness, and being “real” are touted as admirable qualities in our culture. Yet, how does Jesus shape this virtue? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller and Isaac Funk cast a vision for healthy vulnerability and draw from the example of Jesus. Vulnerability Identifiers… Jesus teaches us… How to be vulnerable. How to receive the vulnerable. How beauty can be made from the fruit of vulnerability.

Community has become a popular ideal. A reaction, no doubt, to the ill-effect of our increasingly independent lives. Clubs, groups, associations, and fellowships offer much needed connection and identification for people feeling more and more alone. How is the Christian community unique in providing the connection we fundamentally need? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller and Isaac Funk elevate the community of Jesus. Community Identifiers The Christian Community is… God’s ordained way of extending His love to His own people and with the world. The communion of the Holy Spirit living among its participants. A place where people are known and loved.

The words we use matter: alcoholic, depressed, narcissist, bipolar - these are all examples of labels we use to describe people. Labels stick - for good or bad. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. helps straighten us out with what sometimes turns into adult name-calling. There is a difference between using labels “for” or “against” people. When labels are used responsibly, they should reflect reality with the intent to bring understanding and help to people. Using Labels "for a Person: Labels accurately reflect reality and are used to chart a healthy path forward. Labels are not the primary identification of a person. Rather, for the Christian, Christ’s identity is primary. Change and redemption is possible. Using Labels "against" a Person: While some labels may accurately reflect reality, they are used to punish or isolate. Labels that do not accurately reflect reality. Labels remain as primary identifier of the individual indefinitely. Change and redemption is not possible.

Our young people transition into adulthood gradually and with assistance. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel explains the role community plays in this process. She highlights the responsibility that is ours and equips us with the tool set needed to get the job done. Connect with the young people in your life. Know them. Listen to them. Care for them. Challenge them. Equip them. Give responsibility to them. When they fail, receive them.

Forgive, overlook and acknowledge - three verbs that give the embittered a path to freedom. None are easy. In in this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling brings them near and demonstrates the path out from his own life experience.   Show notes  Bitterness has a root: The root starts with hurt. Hurt that is not properly cared for. This hurt leads to anger. Anger left to seethe and build over time leads to stubbornness. Impenetrable walls are then built to protect. Behind these walls a rebellion settles in. Bitterness grows: Minor and major hurtful events stacked one on top of the other over time breeds a canker. The canker travels  its way into many areas of our lives. Bitterness has a fruit: The fruit tastes of isolation, division and hardness. Bitterness has a remedy: The embittered must engage with the hurt in three ways. Applying forgiveness where they have been sinned against. Overlooking misunderstandings and imperfections where they exist in their offender and acknowledging whatever truth that ma

Hurt, not properly cared for, can turn to bitterness. Bitterness, not properly cared for, defiles much. In this episode series, Craig Stickling addresses properly caring for hurt and bitterness.  

Do we love each other because we agree? Or is our love based on something deeper? Surprisingly, conflict exposes the answer. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Matt Kaufmann and Brian Sutter address the nature of conflict and highlight the role our consciences play. God has given everyone a conscience. The conscience gives us a sense of right and wrong. We should listen to our conscience. Our conscience is not perfectly tuned to truth. We should be a steward of our conscience. Scripture should inform our conscience. The Holy Spirit should direct our conscience. Relationships should refine our conscience. When our consciences differ with others, conflict can result. Conflict can help mature our conscience. We should honor another person’s conscience.

God wants us to know Him. He wants our thoughts towards Him and our feelings about Him to be guided by truth. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. helps us evaluate our God image and provides tips on how to have an increasingly more accurate view of God. It is important to note: There are common inaccurate God images. Below are a few examples: “The God of Impossible Expectations” – God holds us to impossible standards and punishes us when we don’t meet them. He is never satisfied. “The Emotionally-Distant God” – God withdraws from us when we go through struggles and difficulties. “The Gotcha God” – God is out to get us. He doesn’t like to see us happy.  He is always looking for a way to ‘pull the rug out’ from under us. “The Hiding God” – God has a will for me but He won’t tell me what it is and will punish me if I don’t find it. There are good ways to recapture an accurate God image. Below are a few suggestions: Don't superimpose your experience onto the scriptures. Instead let the scri

Revealing God the Father to human beings was one of the purposes of Christ’s ministry. He wanted His hearers to know God and to view Him accurately. In this episode, Ted Witzig Jr. explains how our God image is formed and the impact that it has on us. While we will never understand God perfectly in this life, we can work to be sure we are not viewing Him through distorted lenses. It is important to note… * Everyone has a God concept and a God image. * How we picture God and believe He feels toward us are very impactful in how we relate to Him. * Those things we know about God (i.e., ‘head-knowledge’) make up our God concept. * Our God concept is formed by information that we learn about Him from the Bible and what others teach us. * Those things we feel about God, including how we picture Him, feelings we feel toward Him, and how we imagine He feels towards us is called our God image. * Our God image is formed through life experiences including our relationship with major attachment figures (primarily one’s f

Am I okay? What do people think of me? Should I be happy with myself? These self- questions highlight insecurity. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter walks us through the finer points of insecurity and presents to us true security. Insecurities are common among all ages. While the things we seek security in change over time, the fact remains that security is a common human desire. Insecurity is helpful in this way. It highlights our desire for security and prompts us with a critical question, “What should my security be in?” Is it in my job, finances, relationships or looks? Just like financial securities, some are better than others, the securities we desire are not all equal. Who do we seek approval from? What is required for me to be happy with myself? Just how secure are these securities? Most often, we look to securities that are exterior to us-the affirmation of a group, the achievement of a goal. Wonderfully, God is that exterior security He wants us to be settled in. Because of God’s depen

Sometimes interactions are charged with emotion. Often, we react to the escalation only to make it worse. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer helps us let the steam out of the charged moment so we can have rational dialogue. The key to doing this is called “validation.” Validation in interpersonal interactions. What it is. What it does. What it looks like. When do you use it? What it is not. Accepting a person’s experience. Deescalates charged emotional interactions. Being curious about another person’s experience. Heated disagreements. Not reactive Joining someone in their experience. Values another’s personhood. Validating first, correcting second. When strong negative emotions are present. Not agreement Understanding a person’s emotional response. Puts relationship first. Showing a person that you “see them.” When you are calm enough to listen. Not avoiding   Builds connection. Accept their response.   Not argumentative   Legitima

Seeking satisfaction happens on many levels, on an array of topics, moment by moment with all of us. Quenching appetites is a daily job. Psalm 90:14 offers four surprising facts about the satisfaction that comes from God. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan Miller and Matt Kaufmann highlight these surprising qualities and muse on how beautifully welcome each one is. So much time, effort and energy goes into satisfying our appetites. Hunger, thirst, sleep, love, comfort, approval, accomplishment, affirmation, achievement are a few of the many cravings we try to satiate every day. Yet, God’s satisfaction is different - in four ways. “O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. “ Psalm 90:14 Earthly Satisfaction God’s Satisfaction We prize the pursuit of satisfaction as much or more than the satisfaction itself. For example, eating the meal is pursued and valued as much as the filling. God’s satisfaction is the prize. Satisfaction comes at the end. For example, at