Breaking Bread Podcast

Jesus lived among us. He taught us. But more importantly, he exampled for us “the way.” Now we have a chance to follow His lead. But how? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Katie Miller and Marcia Koch share their top three lessons learned from mentoring others. Notes:   ·         Mentoring is more relational than educational. o    Be vulnerable and trustworthy. ·         Everyone is unique. o    Be careful not to over generalize. ·         The cross of Christ is central. o    Everybody in every situation can be pointed to the cross. ·         The “self-talk” that people are saying to themselves matters. o    Listen for lies. ·         Good questions are key. o    Assume you don’t know and ask. Assume you still don’t know and clarify. ·         Regularity is more important than frequency. o    Be there. ·         People are more than their issues. o    Relate to people on a variety of levels. ·         The Holy Spirit is the change-agent. o    Pray with people.

3…2…1… no launch. This is the experience of many parents hoping to launch their kids into this wide world. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling and Roger Gasser give sound counsel to parents who have kids on the launching pad. Systems Check for Launch. For Kids: Do they have roots? Do they have wings? Can they evaluate their thoughts? Can they regulate their emotions? Have they been taught about God? Can they learn from pain? Can they ask for help? Can they engage in the community? Does their independence include responsibility? For Parents We are stewards of our children. We do not own them. We cannot dictate their beliefs and thoughts. God has plans for them. Do not protect them from pain. Do not protect them from failure. Do not make them into a version of yourself. Give them freedom to make choices. Expect to be disappointed at times. Anticipate handing over control to a larger community.

3...2...1... no launch. This is the experience of many parents hoping to launch their kids into this wide world. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling and Roger Gasser give sound counsel to parents who have kids on the launching pad. Systems Check for Launch. For Kids: Do they have roots? Do they have wings? Can they evaluate their thoughts? Can they regulate their emotions? Have they been taught about God? Can they learn from pain? Can they ask for help? Can they engage in the community? Does their independence include responsibility? For Parents We are stewards of our children. We do not own them. We cannot dictate their beliefs and thoughts. God has plans for them. Do not protect them from pain. Do not protect them from failure. Do not make them into a version of yourself. Give them freedom to make choices. Expect to be disappointed at times. Anticipate handing over control to a larger community.  

Infertility is a private loss many couples experience. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Tyler and Casey Zimmerman share their story. Their journey will accent the uniqueness of the infertility pain. It will resonate with the losses that are common among us and it will heighten God’s unique and common love to all His children. Like a fingerprint, infertility pain is common to all sorts of pain and yet unique. Infertility is a private pain. “People have no idea of my pain.” Infertility struggles to have closure. “It impacts every phase of life.” Infertility pain is cyclic. “Maybe next month?” Infertility grief is ambiguous. “I’m grieving what might have been, but I don’t know what that even is.” Infertility can produce shame. “Why is God keeping children from us?” Infertility has administrational headaches. “Why won’t insurance cover this treatment?” Infertility treatment intrudes on your privacy. “Do you really need to know that?” Infertility robs normalcy. “Everything about getting and having kids is diffe

Infertility is a private loss many couples experience. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Tyler and Casey Zimmerman share their story. Their journey will accent the uniqueness of the infertility pain. It will resonate with the losses that are common among us and it will heighten God’s unique and common love to all His children.   Like a fingerprint, infertility pain is common to all sorts of pain and yet unique. Infertility is a private pain. “People have no idea of my pain.” Infertility struggles to have closure. “It impacts every phase of life.” Infertility pain is cyclic. “Maybe next month?” Infertility grief is ambiguous. “I’m grieving what might have been, but I don’t know what that even is.” Infertility can produce shame. “Why is God keeping children from us?” Infertility has administrational headaches. “Why won’t insurance cover this treatment?” Infertility treatment intrudes on your privacy. “Do you really need to know that?” Infertility robs normalcy. “Everything about getting and having kids is dif

Our teenage kids are under construction and construction zones are messy.  In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Jeff Waibel give us a few tips for understanding these formative years. Knowing a few things can go a long way in helping us get through the construction. Remember you were a teen once. Attempt to put yourself in their shoes. Remember to hear the message behind their behavior. What are they saying to you? Often young people don’t have the words, skills or maturity to say what they feel. Nevertheless, their actions are trying to tell you something. Some messages might be: “I need your attention.” “Do you love me?” “I am embarrassed.” “I feel guilty.” Remember, whatever decision or behavior teenagers choose, it made logical sense to them. Ask them to help you understand their thinking. Follow up by asking them if they want to know how their behavior made you feel. Remember their brain is still being developed. Their personality, sense of humor and ability to measure risk are all in

Our teenage kids are under construction and construction zones are messy.  In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Jeff Waibel give us a few tips for understanding these formative years. Knowing a few things can go a long way in helping us get through the construction. Remember you were a teen once. Attempt to put yourself in their shoes. Remember to hear the message behind their behavior. What are they saying to you? Often young people don’t have the words, skills or maturity to say what they feel. Nevertheless, their actions are trying to tell you something. Some messages might be: “I need your attention.” “Do you love me?” “I am embarrassed.” “I feel guilty.” Remember, whatever decision or behavior teenagers choose, it made logical sense to them. Ask them to help you understand their thinking. Follow up by asking them if they want to know how their behavior made you feel. Remember their brain is still being developed. Their personality, sense of humor and ability to measure risk are all in

Shaming our kids - good intentions, yet with unintended poor consequences. We’ve all done it. Parenting out of exasperation. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Craig Stickling and Brian Sutter take a careful look at the messages we are sending our kids. Fortunately, a very healthy and redemptive future is possible.   What is Shame? Effects of Shame Examples of Parental Shame High-stakes Moments for Shame How do we unwind Shame? Discipline that doesn’t Shame. Nature of Shame The idea that a person is, at their core, bad, unwanted and beyond repair. Shame pushes your child into isolation. “I don’t care!” When our kids are being creative. Call your child out from hiding and into community. Separates their behavior from their personal worth. Shame shames.   Shame says there is no hope. Because I’m broken and no one wants me. “You are the only 10-year-old who doesn’t get this!” When our kids are being vulnerable. Enjoy your kids. Breaks the will but not the spirit. W

When the last of the children leave the home, couples enter the “empty nest” phase of marriage. For some, this moment is met with welcome anticipation. For others trepidation. But for all, the moment marks a transition. All transitions require a certain level of relational care. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Roger Gasser and Kaleb Beyer speak into the care needed to thrive in this transition. There are a few things that prove helpful to understand when entering the empty nest phase of marriage: Understand empty nesting begins by way of a transition. Transitions move us from an old normal to a new normal. By nature, transitions can be disorienting. But with time and effort, a satisfying new normal can be achieved. Understand the transition that needs to happen will circle closely to the change in roles that must transpire. Such a shift in roles may very well require a grieving of a past role and an acceptance of a new one. Understand the role-shift experience will be felt differently from one spouse to a

Signposts are helpful and orienting. They are helpful in guiding us from point A to point B. They are orienting because they assure us we are still on the right road. In this podcast series, Kaleb Beyer walks us through six signposts on the road to recovery from sexual betrayal. These signposts are both helpful and orienting. Six Signposts: Appropriate disclosure: Betrayal plays on the illusion of truth. Through appropriate disclosure truth is brought to bear allowing for new relationship foundations to be set. Betrayal Trauma: It is important for the betrayer to understand the trauma that betrayal causes. Trauma will explain many of the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of your betrayed spouse. Triggers: Recovery will include triggers. In moments of trigger, you will be convinced forward motion is not happening. Yet, if you understand the nature of triggers, you will understand that you are in motion. Being able to evaluate this motion is important. Understanding addiction: The betrayed needs to understand t

Signposts are helpful and orienting. They are helpful in guiding us from point A to point B. They are orienting because they assure us we are still on the right road. In this podcast series, Kaleb Beyer walks us through six signposts on the road to recovery from sexual betrayal. These signposts are both helpful and orienting. Six Signposts: Appropriate disclosure: Betrayal plays on the illusion of truth. Through appropriate disclosure truth is brought to bear allowing for new relationship foundations to be set. Betrayal Trauma: It is important for the betrayer to understand the trauma that betrayal causes. Trauma will explain many of the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of your betrayed spouse. Triggers: Recovery will include triggers. In moments of trigger, you will be convinced forward motion is not happening. Yet, if you understand the nature of triggers, you will understand that you are in motion. Being able to evaluate this motion is important. Understanding addiction: The betrayed needs to understand

Believers care about calling. Is God calling me to this assignment? In this episode of Breaking Bread, Amber Miller (Missionary Care Director) helps us see calling as more than the assignment. She gives 5 suggestions for understanding what it means to be called. Five important perspectives on following God’s call: There is purpose in the process of working out one’s calling. God is not only interested in the final assignment. He wants to use the process of discernment to grow us. We are sent after the pattern of Christ’s sending. “As my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.” John 20:21 Calling has much to do with who we are. We are called into being. Be a royal priesthood the Scriptures say. Calling is more than an assignment. Calling should not be compartmentalized. Instead, our work, home and church lives flow out of one calling. Calling is confirmed in community. Fellow believers help us determine if God is calling us to certain assignments. amiller@harvestcall.org Learn and Discern Groups: ww

Meditation is in vogue. Mindfulness is in fashion. yet, the Scriptures have spoken to this discipline for several millennia. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter walks us through the what, why and how of meditation. Show notes: Question Answer What is meditation? Meditation is deliberately setting our mind on a certain thing and remaining with our mind set upon it. Why should we meditate? Through the discipline of meditation, we become more mentally healthy as well as spiritually healthy people. The reason for this is because our thoughts give attention to those things that are true. In what ways is meditation a skill set? Meditation is a skill set because it is a learned and practiced skill by which a person can more fully focus their attention on a selected matter of the mind. What lies at the center of meditation? Attention lies at the core of mediation. Dismissing unwanted distractions and focusing on desired interests is key. What qualities do I need to have in order to meditate

Behind our vices is often a lie we believe. Reversing the lie goes a long way in reversing the vice. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Arlan and Matt speak to the health that comes by way of truth. As truth embodied, Christ wants to upset our lies. PROBLEM STATEMENT: We live in a broken world and wounds happen. Furthermore, wounds compound and compact on top of each other. They build up over time. While some wounds are huge (abuse, etc) wounds don’t have to be huge to be impactful. In fact, often, the subtle unnoticed hurts pack the biggest punch because they go without our notice and their effect is assumed negligible. FACT: Wounds give way to lies and lies give way to vice. GOAL: A healthy life skill is being able to heal from the wounding we are bound to get. HOW: Identify the lie you believe. Replace it with truth. Support the truth with repetition. EFFECT: Truth will have a living effect on our lives. We will begin to live according to the truth. Example: WOUND: When Jill was young, she was told by a

There is a path through grief. Helping our grieving teens make progress along that path is so important. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Craig Stickling give us practical tips on doing just that. Things to remember as you walk with a grieving teen: Acknowledge the difficulty. Listen to their thoughts and feelings. Ask for permission. Remember anniversaries. Remember the intensity of grief will over time subside. Healing comes by moving though the grief cycle. https://www.accounseling.org/phases-of-grief/ Healing comes by processing the loss. Healing comes by connecting with Christ. Healing comes by acceptance. Healing comes by doing. Healing is possible.

Grief is always hard no matter the age. Yet, our teens experience a unique challenge when it comes to working through loss. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kathy Knochel and Craig Stickling walk us through the complexities of grief on the maturing heart and mind. Grief and loss can be troubling to teens... Their knowledge is outpacing their experience. Their notion of a safe world is challenged. While they are learning to take control of various aspects of their lives, they learn that they don’t have control. Grief can be unsettling during a time when they are forming their identity. While a teen’s grieving experience varies dramatically, it will likely include... Shock Denial Depression Anger Sometimes confusing competing emotions https://www.accounseling.org/grief-and-emotions/

The cigarette is falling out of favor with the general public. Stepping into its place and gaining favor is the modernized e-cigarette. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Dr. Aaron Plattner helps us understand the growing appeal of vaping.

Sometimes little things make big differences. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Kaleb Beyer relays three small things that exist in happy marriages. 3 Small Things Be Purposeful Highly happy couples generously focus on what their mate is giving to them. The spouse, in turn, deliberately tries to give back. Be Present Highly happy couples fully invest emotionally in their marriage by risking vulnerability; this leads to a dramatically increased security and happiness in the relationship. Be Positive Highly happy couples give their spouse most of the credit for their relationship success – and they live in regular, conscious gratitude as a result. Taken from “The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference” by Shaunti Feldhahn

Like a faulty check engine light that comes on prematurely, some consciences trigger signals of guilt when they shouldn’t be triggered. This is called false guilt. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr explains the difference and how to detect if that check engine light is real or not. True guilt is grounded in truth. False guilt is grounded in feelings. True guilt motivates us to deal with sin and move forward. False guilt causes us to stall and spin in confession. True guilt listens to scriptural objectivity. False guilt listens to anxiety and depression. How to deal with false guilt: A person dealing with false guilt typically hold themselves to standards they would not impose on others. They may benefit from getting perspective and counsel from other people. They should focus on moving forward and will need to elevate Christ’s promises to them and not allow their feelings to undermine the truth.

Both guilt and shame are similar feelings. Both can be triggered for similar reasons. But they each motivate us toward drastically different ends. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Ted Witzig Jr. sorts out the distinctions between guilt and shame and how we should respond to each.