Carmody Central Podcast

We are talking about the fun stuff when it comes to dating... not the miserable long term relationship stuff, and that's my whole philosphy.  Just stay in that early stage forever and you're safe, once you start getting invested and involved you're basically fucked.  Myrone Sumner, the Carmody Central booty call guest is back and we have some awful dating stories... once he even bought an extravagant gift that she ended up pawning.  While I share an awful first date story that explains why you should scare a chick on the first one and if it's me, you'll get a second date.

My friend Charlie Miles moved to LA recently and we are talking about all the insanity and attractiveness it takes to even move here.  It's hard to believe people are born here, what happens after people turn 30 and don't become famous? I love the fake positivity, better than being all grouchy and realistic like in NY. Let's pretend everything is perfect until the crazy kicks in.  We get distracted and start talking about dolphins because they're awesome, do I really need to explain? Then we end up talking about aliens... you should know by now that Carmody Central secretly about aliens.

My bitter love/hate relationship with food all started when I watched the movie Food Inc.   and there is no going back. My friend, Myrone Sumner, joins to share our issues with eating healthy.  He eats healthy by association and I do it as if it was my religion.  My regular white person genetics were not prepared for all the amazonian berries and exotic seeds I recently introduced into my diet because I'm trying to avoid cancer.  Myrone just comes along for the ride when people eat healthy.  While I just want to live on microscopic cosmo food like space barbie.

A girlie episode about growing up in the 90s, cordless phones, inflatible furniture, and TRL.  Spice Girls helped make us slutty, so next time you walk into a club you should thank them for the sight you see.  Actress, Tammy Vo, joins to discuss music, movies and more.  Moving to LA makes me feel like Cher from Clueless, except broke with no daddy.  Can't believe I'm older than all my idols were when I wanted to be them.  

Welcome back to the 2nd season of CCP.  You're like, "Podcasts have seasons?" I'm like, Mine does, and I'm back to talk about all this controversy about domestic violence in the NFL & Floyd Mayweather's money cult.  But more so, my guest- West Liang and I, talk about artists and if they can just be good at singing and performing without needing to be a perfect human being.  Should we separate people's personal lives from their craft or is do they need to be the whole package? Also is an elevator conspiracy happening in America? 

I have a special guest, Nigel Battle and his Drag Queen alter ego, Jasmine Anastasia are here to give some insight on Gender from the perspective of someone who plays both sides of the Gender Card.  Unlike all of us boring people stuck only play one side.  You can afford to be open minded and listen to this… its fun, you should play along and stop being so uptight.  We talk about the changes of drag and trans culture over time, as well as the difference between them.  Nigel talks about growing up a gay boy and not wanting to give up being a boy but enjoying being a girl occasionally in drag.  He talks about taking a boyfriend to the prom and coming out of the closet at a young age.  I talk about how the inspiration comes from idolizing women yet women feel threatened by these super sexy trannys that look better than us!  Then I talk about cross-dressers and explain what makes them a completely different situation then everything we are talking about today.    

She feeds me some crazy unknown fruit and tells me to make a wish.  But after a second bite, it’s a trick, some bitter Russian joke… but I hope the wish comes true! We talk about worst dates, mostly that means meeting people from AOL Chatrooms pretending to be older than we were, before to catch a predator could warn us. Being a teenager in the early 2000s, we met people online and got ourselves into some bad situations. We compare chatrooms today, which is basically ads and people speaking in spanish.  We reminisce on some cyber bullying in high school, I was called poser all the time… cause, I guess I was.  Regardless, I’m vicious so I became unbulliable and stalked anyone who tried. We talk about being the only white kids in school and she show off her citizenship papers.

It's not easy trying to make it in America, there’s literally a whole series about it… here’s a half hour of talking about the struggles of people trying to make it in an artistic career but needing a day job in order to not die.  My friend, photographer- Brian Lynch is my guest and we talk about how we met, plus those horrible realizations when your boss has no values and you are wasting your time working for him instead of working towards your passion... yea... shiz gets personal… Get inspired or something.

So delighted to have a long time best friend, Lucy Arnell. We’re talking about music because she’s an up and coming artist working on her album. We talk about how breaking up is the way to become a breakthrough artist, with examples of some of the biggest artists and how heartbreak broke the bank for them. We talk about the difference between female and male stalkers, stalking your favorite musicians and what is a comfortable ratio for female to male text message responses. Lucy shares some info about hippie culture, San Francisco and Pink Floyd. I cut off all her stories and then Lucy closes with a song.  Hope you enjoy.Bre

A group of awkward individuals come together to discuss this new wave of cool slang words that we sound like complete dorks talking about.  This was one of the first episodes ever recorded so bear with me.  Some friends, Ric Rosario and Jason Von Glass join to talk about words like Amaze-balls and YOLO, and we embarrass ourselves by realizing we have already started using these words.  My friend Baby Jen also chimes in, while we talk about living in Hollywood and getting scammed on the street regularly by an old lady who keeps tricking us.  

This episode is very personal to me because Jim is my favorite person next to Jelly.  So we talked about something super not personal to a avoid anything weird coming up and discuss privacy in the most vague way possible.  Jim thinks the NSA is good because it gives "people a taste of their own medicine." He's so extreme, I love and hate it. This time I hated it.  I change the subject to women who fuck public figures then sell their crappy little story for some extra twitter followers.  

My family discusses my mother’s interesting parenting techniques.  Particularly one time when she found Ecstasy in my purse and instead of grounding me, she pretended to take it herself.  As well as, fun memories of her hunting us down at parties and throwing my boyfriend on the hood of a car.  She talks about falling in a ditch and breaking her ankle, and my sister and I laugh at my mom's constant injuries. This Carmody Moment is extra personal sadly all true. 

Sorry I smoked way too much weed before this and now my voice sounds like I'm trying to smoke the mic too.   I wanted release a mini episode to thank all the listeners for their support and to explain more about What Carmody Central Podcast is all about... but I kind of forgot to answer it fully... it's cool you get this jist. 

Chip and I talk about our history, when he bombed in Montreal and I hooked up with him out of sympathy. Chip shares some personal information about his mother and a memorable birthday party from his childhood. He talks about how chicks loved him in High School, and his successful music career with his hit band Sick Fucking Puppies. His blossoming comedy career, and his friendship with the president. Chip’s mother, Dolores, pops in but is quickly kicked out and replaced with a special appearance by Edgar Mellencamp. Uncle Paul takes over and with his sick stories. Just in time for Chip to come back and tell us about some of his most memorable injuries.  

My handwriting changes for everything because I’m psychotic, her’s stays the same every time because she’s also psychotic but in a different way. Hanging with my long term friend back in the good old, Jersey City, my hometown.  Talking about how life has changed for us, she talks about becoming a parent and I tell her my biggest fear as a chid was immaculate conception. We talk about Russia, coming to America and the terror of your children going through puberty.  Shit gets spiritual, but we bring it back, drunkenly discuss relationships, and I explain how I only date short men so they can’t beat me up. She suggest that I forgive and shit gets spiritual again and we leave on a sweet moment. 

What an appropriate topic...we start with positions and discuss Missionary Sex… and my special nickname for it.  Amy loves morning sex but my breath ruins it for me.  We scared Amy’s sister, Kim out of her own bedroom and talk about stupid things that people say during sex, my intimacy issues.  And the amazing topics, good/bad kissers, penis size, pretty vaginas, and we revisit Amy’s amazing statement about women hating the cumshot in porn.  I bring it back to humiliation, men’s sensitivity and sexual rejection. 

Gay baby bother and Jenn discuss what sucks about straight men.  I bring up how its not fair that only gay guys go the extra mile to look hot, but that’s women’s fault for being too understanding. My brother hates that straight guys are getting too gay friendly, it’s confusing.  Since he’s never been with a woman, I think its important that we go over the anatomy of the vagina. He has to learn one day, so I explain some things that any 9th grade boy should know. He asks questions about the G-spot, when we talk about my abnormally large vagina and tentacle porn.

This was my 2nd attempt recording an episode with Bobby, we first recorded in his hi-tech studio and it sounded like we did it with 2 cups and a shoe lace in our treehouse. So we ended up talking about a completely unexpected topic and we get into some heavy stuff. More than I would have liked to share probably.  Bobby talks about getting arrested for the first time at 10 years old, losing his virginity on a dunlop windbreaker, being a follower, and learning to fit in.  As for me, I thought Tijuana, Mexico was in San Diego. Then, I explain how I got arrested with my lesbian mother-lover when I was 18 and making prank phone calls from jail.

Surprised that I called him a friend, Dwayne and I agree we are friends even though we only talked once before.  Last Episodes of TV Shows brought me to the conclusion that I’ve never understood the last episode of any show... which is embarassing because I consider myself a writer.  We talk about Dexter, Breaking Bad, Lost, the Sopranos. We also touch on shows like Game of Thrones that you can know the ending if you want to read 7000 pages first, exactly… we are just going to wait it out too. Why we love American Horror Story and some other TV talk.   

Myrone feels the pressure when I ask, “What do guys find sexy?” but he is determined to defend all things with a penis against my harsh judgement on the topic. He searches for an answer while we dissect the way that women and men answer questions differently… we completely agree but answer in a completely different ways.  We address the sliding scale of guys ranking a woman from 1-10, I try to get to the bottom of it.  He tries to simplify the way guys think sexually, he basically proves my theory.  We discuss how men don’t notice things that we try so hard to impress them with and the formula of when women go crazy.