How To Become A Terrible Person

Gary and Selena open without a formal introduction and immediately spiral into a chaotic night out that turns into a full breakdown of modern restaurant culture. After trying multiple spots in East Mesa, they land at Cheesecake Factory, where a “15 minute wait” turns into nearly an hour of sitting behind a wobbly table hidden behind a pillar. The décor feels like Las Vegas meets Egyptian casino energy, the food is solid, but the final bill crosses $150 and sparks a full post dinner value debate about appetizers, alcohol, cheesecake slices, and whether peak dinner hours are ever worth it. From there the conversation jumps into Britney Spears news, viral interviews, and a deep dive into dinosaurs after watching a Morgan Freeman documentary.Gary questions how we confidently name ancient continents like Laurasia and Gondwana, how fossil timelines are determined, and whether global warming cycles are just part of the planet’s long term hot and cold shifts. That opens the door to bigger questions about history, moo

Gary and Selena drift through everyday chaos, aging, intimacy, and irritation as a casual conversation about colors turns into reflections on turning forty, gift expectations, and the strange emotional weight attached to birthdays. They talk massages, tipping anxiety, overpriced upgrades, sore feet, and the disappointment of hot stone add-ons that miss the point. Domestic tension bubbles up through broken heirlooms, cats causing destruction, and disagreements about emotional reactions, overreacting, and what it means to feel heard during conflict.The conversation slides into awkward neighborhood encounters, paranoia about being overheard, public embarrassment, and how small moments spiral into resentment. Gary and Selena unpack bickering, criticism, Reddit reactions, and the thin line between honest conversation and uncomfortable listening. Travel stress enters the mix with airline seating changes, gate checking chaos, lost seats, and feeling powerless while following instructions. The episode winds through b

Cars piling up, flashing lights, and that sudden sense that something nearby just went wrong. Being out of town next week, missing each other, and the everyday friction of schedules and communication, including why notifications and an Apple Watch can make you both reachable and somehow disconnected.True crime details that stick with you, especially a case centered on an exotic dancer and the question of how reliable childhood memory really is. The surprising twist of college criminology students helping solve a decades-old cold case. Celebrity reputation and power, including Taylor Swift and Blake Lively, what “diva” really means, and why certain labels follow women differently than men.Politics and protest culture, including people entering a church over rumors of ICE involvement, media coverage, and the discomfort of watching it all play out. Travel expectations around San Francisco, what people assume they’ll see, and what that says about how cities get talked about. Paranoia jokes that land a little too

What’s the most realistic way a “dirty cop” plan would hold up in court, and why do TV writers get away with it?A movie recap turns into a long detour through The Walking Dead, Grey’s Anatomy, and what it means to be permanently tied to one iconic role. From there it slides into Jennifer Lopez nostalgia, arguing over which of her movies were actually good, and realizing her singing voice is more distinctive than you remembered. Then the trip stories kick in. A birthday weekend, a Kroger Starbucks, and an all-time awkward public interaction that starts with, “Do you girls like elevators?” and somehow gets worse. The fight we were having before it happened, the immediate emotional whiplash after, and why we couldn’t look away. Medieval Times gets reviewed like a consumer report. The horses and hawk are cool, the tournament runs long, and the sugar crash is real. Waffle House is loud enough to qualify as an assault, with plate slams, silverware buckets, and a screaming family turning breakfast into sensory warfa

What goes through your mind in the second before you die, and is that moment worse than the pain itself? Nuclear weapons and energy warfare. The psychology of fear, and why dying instantly might be preferable to surviving what comes after. Autoerotic asphyxiation, public shame, and how families rewrite uncomfortable truths. How cultural perception flips overnight, from fear to obsession. K-pop, Netflix, and the line between admiration and fetishization. Scorpions, snake venom, and the idea that sometimes survival isn’t the point. Corporate media, the collapse of local radio, Covid guilt, money stress, aging, and the low-grade anxiety underneath everyday life.

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How does a conversation start with oyster crackers meant for soup and end up as a full-scale debate about celebrity hotness rankings, fast food dessert scams, and why every online platform eventually turns into a magnet for predators. It opens with hunger logic and snack crimes, the kind that turn a couch into a crumb scene and a Sunday afternoon into a running argument about who forgets grocery staples, who drops food everywhere, and what counts as a normal amount of crackers to inhale just to “absorb the acid.”Somewhere in the middle, a rhinestone-covered gingerbread house that lights up becomes a serious creative project, complete with battery paranoia and a very specific fear of doing hours of work for a total Christmas Vacation-style failure. Then it pivots hard into celebrity attraction math. Leonardo DiCaprio eras, Brad Pitt timelines, Ryan Reynolds falloff, Joaquin Phoenix face debates, and the sudden rage sparked by people rebranding their own names. It slides into pop culture side quests like It’s A

On this episode, terrible person covers a mix of trending news, weird stories, and everyday disasters. Topics include Kim Kardashian reportedly failing the bar exam, the most commonly missed warning signs of dementia, and Trailer Park Boys actor Mike Smith being charged with sexual assault. There’s also a discussion about Christopher Nolan’s Tenet and whether it’s genius or nonsense, the strange design of hydrofoil racing sailboats, and the difference between luxury yachts and simple chill boats. Other highlights include a kitchen meltdown caused by bugs in flour and Target pasta, a talk about how restraining orders actually work, and speculation about Zach Bagans’ haunted museum.Go to www.TerriblePerson.co for premium episodes of terrible person.

WWW.TERRIBLEPERSON.CO In this episode, Grant and Cait dive deep (and way off the rails) into everything from awkward encounters at vape shops to Comic-Con near-death experiences, Power Ranger conspiracies, Taylor Swift hot takes, and why Selling Sunset feels like a simulation. They debate celebrity glow-ups, dissect the weirdness of wealth, and somehow end up discussing diarrhea on the Oregon Trail.

How does a conversation start with a Silence of the Lambs quote hunt and end with an extremely detailed review of a bathroom upgrade that becomes a full debate about the physics of aiming, the ethics of “priming,” and what qualifies as a peanut-butter situation. It opens in full movie-nerd mode with Buffalo Bill voice impressions, actor trivia spirals, and side quests through Monk, Wings, and why a forgotten talking-parrot movie deserves more respect than it got. That turns into horror recommendations that feel like a trap, including Bring Her Back and the kind of scenes that permanently live in your brain once you have heard them, plus the rage that follows when a movie’s logic falls apart the moment you think too hard about basic parental supervision. Then it slides into reality TV discomfort and social dynamics. Sister Wives gets analyzed like a hostage negotiation, especially the boyfriend meeting that turns into a job interview, complete with power plays, weird hypotheticals, and the kind of performative

Do pop stars age out of relevance overnight, or does the culture just decide it is bored all at once. A casual opener about Sabrina Carpenter versus Taylor Swift turns into a broader teardown of pop star energy, homeschool vibes, relationship branding, and the moment when celebrities stop feeling aspirational and start feeling deeply uncool. Kardashian fatigue sets in, Travis Barker affection becomes suspicious, and Blink-182 lore somehow drifts into alien conspiracies, government disclosures, and the creeping sense that the weirdest guy in the band might have been the most normal one. The middle stretches into full paranormal tourism.Mushroom gummies, the Zak Bagans museum, crawl spaces, cursed boxes, salt circles, and the specific discomfort of being trapped in a room longer than you want to be while something unseen feels like it is watching. The line between “vibes” and fear gets blurry, especially when time stretches, expectations collapse, and you realize how long five hours can feel when you are waitin

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A free-flowing conversation moves from pop culture curiosity into heavier cultural reflection, starting with skepticism around celebrity-centered documentaries and how obsession gets packaged as storytelling. Current events cast a shadow over the episode, touching on political violence, public discourse, and the uneasy feeling of living through moments that instantly become history. Memories of September 11 resurface, focusing less on spectacle and more on what the day felt like in real time, how schools reacted, how adults behaved, and how confusion lingered long after. From there, the discussion veers into noise, modern life overload, and how constant stimulation makes silence feel unsettling. Airplanes, traffic, and background chaos turn into a meditation on how rarely things actually stop anymore. The tone swings again into dark humor and late-night philosophy. Aliens, simulations, UFOs, ghosts, the afterlife, and whether existence is closer to a game, a loop, or a one-time experience. Big questions colli

A conversation that starts with everyday background noise and drifts straight into modern paranoia. Surveillance cameras, license plate readers, and how easily movement data is tracked without anyone noticing. A deep dive into rehab and sober-living scams, insurance fraud, and the way addiction treatment can be exploited for profit. From there it slides into sleep deprivation, falling asleep on the couch, silent retreats, desert heat walks, and the strange feeling of being watched while moving through normal neighborhoods. Ordering food regret becomes a surprisingly emotional topic, followed by weight, diet, dopamine, and how people cope with stress through food. The second half spirals into AI-generated hypotheticals, parasocial fans, viral humiliation, simulation theory, free will, NPC behavior, and whether modern life already feels scripted. Surveillance, burnout, paranoia, and internet brain all collide in one long unravel.

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A Vegas recap that quickly turns into sensory overload. Endless casinos that all feel like malls, overpriced food, resort fees, and the strange exhaustion that comes from never actually being outside. From there it escalates into haunted museums, cult-like tour guides, cursed artifacts, serial killer memorabilia, and the uncomfortable feeling of being trapped inside a horror attraction for way too long. Mushrooms amplify everything. Long waits, loud videos, fog machines, claustrophobic crawl spaces, and rooms that feel spiritually incorrect. Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Jack Kevorkian, haunted objects, and the line between “museum” and “psychological endurance test.” Anxiety spikes, patience disappears, and reality starts to feel thin.The night peaks with Blue Man Group chaos. Front-row intensity, eye contact, audience participation, booming drums, lasers, paint, marshmallows, and a surreal moment that feels cosmically targeted. The energy carries straight into Vegas NPC encounters, simulator rides gone wrong,

A meandering conversation that starts with selling clothes and thrift-store economics before drifting into consumer culture, retail politics, and why big-box stores feel more expensive and less worth it than ever. Seasonal fashion trends, skinny jeans dying off, and the quiet humiliation of getting rejected by resale counters set the tone. From there it spirals into corporate behavior, unions, Walmart documentaries,Target backlash, and how politics, branding, and shopping have become weirdly inseparable. Schools, surveillance tech, keylogging, work devices, and the creeping sense that everything you type is being watched push the discussion into modern paranoia. The back half fractures into internet absurdity and cultural noise. AI-generated headlines, bizarre viral stories, strange animals, Mars obsession, celebrity tangents, conspiracy-adjacent thinking, and the way conversations slowly dissolve when there’s too much information and no clear point. It all ends where it always does: hunger, dinner decisions,

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