Unraveling Pink

*Trigger warning: if you've recently lost a loved one, the first seven minutes might be challenging.*
 In this episode, Sam and Annie come back after a month to reflect on the episode that never was -- a recording fail, but also a raw, challenging conversation -- and share their fresh takes on what it's like to have open and honest conversations about gender. Sam also speaks directly to our male audience members. This concludes the man box season, the Fall season, the third year of Unraveling Pink, and takes us to episode 100. Enjoy!

In this episode, Annie talks with a long-time friend, Noah Lemas, about what increasing gender equality in the workplace feels like for a 50-ish white male, why he left the traditional workplace, and what the workplace lost when he left it. Enjoy!

In this week's episode, Sam and Annie try to untangle friendship - among men and among women - and dig deep into the past to understand why they see friendship as they do. In the process, Sam has an epiphany about the man box. This episode may take you down your own memory lane. Enjoy!

In this episode, Sam and I start to explore how the man box shows up in leadership, but this launching point took us to an exploration of authenticity. Also, a confession by Sam, a recommendation, and a challenge. Enjoy!

In this episode, Sam and Annie explore the Patriarchy - what it really is (which may not be what you think), why it's so pervasive, and what we might be able to do to change it. Resources in this episode: Philippe Leonard Fradet, "7 Reasons Why Patriarchy Is Bad (and Feminism is Good) for Men" (https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/7-reasons-why-patriarchy-is-bad-and-feminism-is-good-for-men/) Charlotte Higgins, "The age of patriarchy: how an unfashionable idea became a rallying cry for feminism today" (https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jun/22/the-age-of-patriarchy-how-an-unfashionable-idea-became-a-rallying-cry-for-feminism-today) Drew Serres, "Why Patriarchy Persists (and How We Can Change It)" (https://organizingchange.org/patriarchy-persists-can-change/) Shannon Ridgway, "Patriarchy and How It Shows Up for Everyone" (https://everydayfeminism.com/2013/05/patriarchy-and-how-it-shows-up-for-everyone/) Miki Kashtan, Ph.D., "Why Patriarchy Is Not About Men" (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b

Please note: This episode deals with gun violence. In this episode, Sam and I explore the connection between the man box and gun violence and mass shootings. We hope this sparks some conversation about this difficult topic and, more importantly, that it encourages you to reach out to those in your life to check in with them. Let us know your thoughts on this conversation by email to unravelingpink@gmail.com or message us on Twitter @unravelingpink. Resources in this episode: Intro audio clip (https://vimeo.com/237772858) Mark Follman, "Armed and Misogynist: How Toxic Masculinity Fuels Mass Shootings" (https://www.motherjones.com/crime-justice/2019/06/domestic-violence-misogyny-incels-mass-shootings/) Steve Hewitt, "El Paso: we need to examine the role masculinity plays in mass shootings" (https://theconversation.com/el-paso-we-need-to-examine-the-role-masculinity-plays-in-mass-shootings-121533) Marina Fang, "California Gov. Gavin Newsom Says Gender Needs To Be Part Of Gun Violence Conversation" (

Sam and I kick off the Fall 2019 season exploring what happened with the Forbe's America's 100 Most Innovative Leaders list, whether it truly reflects merit or, instead, historical privilege, and whether the "man box" had a role. In this season, we'll continue exploring how we all contribute to and are affected by the man box, and where it shows up in current events. Let us know what you think! Resources in this episode: Intro audio from MSNBC (https://www.msn.com/en-us/weather/topstories/forbes-faces-backlash-for-leaving-women-off-innovators-list/vi-AAH2BaW) Abdu'l-Baha quote: “The world of humanity is possessed of two wings: the male and the female. So long as these two wings are not equivalent in strength, the bird will not fly." America's Most Innovative Leaders List (https://www.forbes.com/lists/innovative-leaders/#1ed1949c26aa) Forbe's Editor's Reflection (https://www.forbes.com/sites/randalllane/2019/09/08/opportunity-missed-reflecting-on-the-lack-of-women-on-our-most-innovative-leaders-list/#14

In this final episode of the "man box" season, Sam and I reflect on the season - what it's been like to sit across from someone of another gender and talk about gender issues - and we issue a challenge to all of you to do the same. We offer some suggestions based on our experience - our successes and failures - and close with Sam's thoughts on what he's learned from this experience. Enjoy! Unraveling Pink will return with a new season in the Fall.

Extending a bit from the man box, this episode looks at the impact of design on women - this time, with a designer in the conversation, as Sam comes back for another conversation. This week's challenge: observe the world around you and who it is - and is not - designed for. Resources in this episode: "Invisible Women: Exposing Data Bias in a World Designed for Men – a review." (http://theconversation.com/invisible-women-exposing-data-bias-in-a-world-designed-for-men-a-review-113693) Aimee Cunningham, "‘Invisible Women’ spotlights a gaping and dangerous gender data gap." (https://www.sciencenews.org/article/invisible-women-book-dangerous-gender-data-gap-health-safety) Matthew Schwartz, "NASA Scraps First All-Female Spacewalk For Want Of A Medium-Size Spacesuit." (https://www.npr.org/2019/03/26/706779637/nasa-scraps-first-all-female-spacewalk-for-want-of-a-medium-sized-spacesuit) Cara Kelly, "NASA's spacesuit issue is all too familiar for working women." (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2019/03/28/nasa

In this episode, we explore whether the man box comes into play when women are attacked for scientific accomplishments. Sam joins the podcast again and we discover common threads among the topics we've tackled this season. We end with a challenge that everyone can take on. Resources in this episode: Katie Bouman talk at Stanford (https://talks.stanford.edu/katie-bouman-imaging-a-black-hole-with-the-event-horizon-telescope/) Jason Duaine Hahn, People.com, “Male Scientist Claps Back at Trolls Who Tried to Discredit Female Colleague's Role in Black Hole Photo.” (https://people.com/human-interest/male-scientist-claps-back-trolls-discredit-katie-bouman/) Cara Curtis, Science, "The Internet Idiots Are Already Trying to Discredit Katie Bouman's Historic Accomplishments." (https://thenextweb.com/science/2019/04/12/the-internets-idiots-are-already-trying-to-discredit-katie-boumans-historic-accomplishments/) Rosalind C. Barnett and Caryl Rivers, Recode, “We’ve studied gender and STEM for 25 years. The science does

Well, that was awkward... How often does an interaction with someone trigger that response? In this episode, Sam and I explore the concept of personal boundaries, with Joe Biden as a convenient jumping off point. We come at it from different perspectives and end up with different approaches, which shows just how unique and individual this question is for everyone. How do you approach the personal boundaries of those around you? Resources in this episode: Joe Biden video (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sJVZPHbXJVY) Simon Worrall “You Need Your Personal Space—Here's the Science Why Your brain uses it to protect you.” January 20, 2018 (https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2018/01/personal-space-between-us-graziano-peripersonal-dyspraxia/) Sara G. Miller, LiveScience, October 13, 2016 “Debate 2016: What Goes on in Your Brain When People Invade Your Personal Space?We lack control over our reactions when somebody gets too close” (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/debate-2016-what-goes-on-in-your-brain-

This episode explores gaslighting and its impact on both men and women. Sam comes back on the pod and we struggle to offer up some solutions to gaslighting. Have a better one? Email it to UnravelingPink@gmail.com or tweet it to @UnravelingPink. Resources in this episode: Gaslight movie excerpt (1944). (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BICqcEvzhVw)  Oxford English Dictionary. (https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/the-term-gaslighting-was-coined-by-a-great-movie-starring-ingrid-bergman-181242113.html) "Situations in Which Men Gaslight Women." (https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2016/01/20-situations-in-which-men-gaslight-women/) "4 Levels of Gaslighting." (https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/4-levels-gaslighting-unconscious-malicious-pgtn/)  Suzannah Weiss, Bustle, 2018 “7 Subtle Ways Women Are Gaslighted On A Daily Basis.” (https://www.bustle.com/p/7-subtle-ways-women-are-gaslighted-on-a-daily-basis-10079020) Wanda Thibodeaux, Inc., “A Narcissist at Work can kill your Confidence.”  (https:

This week's episode explores objectification of women - why it happens, how it impacts women, and what we can do about it. This week, can you notice the subtle - or not so subtle - ways objectification happens around you? Resources in this episode: ABC News Hot Button Episode: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BmtQZsoyNjE A Call To Men "What Is the Man Box" (http://www.acalltomen.org/news/2017/7/21/what-is-the-man-box) Robin Tran, “4 Ways Men Are Taught to Objectify Women From Birth.” (https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/06/men-taught-to-objectify-women/) Ed Yong, 2010, “How Objectification Silences Women: the Male Glance as a Psychological Muzzle” (http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2010/01/12/how-objectification-silences-women-the-male-glance-as-a-psychological-muzzle/) Derrick Jensen, Huffington Post, “The Man Box and The Cult of Masculinity.” (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/vday/the-man-box-and-the-cult_b_2661244.html) Blackburn Center, 5/2018, “Breaking Out of the Man Box." (http://www.bl

This week's episode dives into why well-meaning male allies might not speak up even when they know they should. The reason surprised me, and it might surprise you too. But what probably won't surprise you - given this season’s theme - is that it is tied to the "man box." This episode's resources: Terry Crews video (https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/celebrities-womens-rights-weinstein-harassment/) Francesca Gino, Harvard Business Review, 5/2018, “Why It’s So Hard to Speak Up Against a Toxic Culture." (https://hbr.org/2018/05/why-its-so-hard-to-speak-up-against-a-toxic-culture) David Smith and Brad Johnson, “Do You See What I See? The Importance of Men as Allies.” (http://behavioralscientist.org/see-see-importance-men-allies/) Lisa Hickey, A Good Men Project, “Men Know: Why Men Need to Start Talking About Violence and Sexual Harassment.” (https://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/men-know-men-need-start-talking-violence-sexual-harassment/) Jim Walsh, “Silence is violence: A Call To Men conference en

This week's episode looks at the harm both men and women suffer from traditional definitions of masculinity - that is, the "man box" - and the ways both men and women would benefit from redefining masculinity. Times have changed, can our collective expectations of masculinity change as well? It's not clear that seismic change will happen any time soon, but younger generations are providing hope for incremental change, that eventually will provide men with access to a fuller version of masculinity.
 Resources in this episode: USA Today article by Alia Datagir, “Men pay a steep price when it comes to masculinity.”(https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/03/31/masculinity-traditional-toxic-trump-mens-rights/99830694/) Time article by Jack Myers, “Young Men Are Facing a Masculinity Crisis.” (http://time.com/4339209/masculinity-crisis/) Emily Moon, 1/11/2019 article, “No, Psychologists Aren't 'Declaring War' on Traditional Masculinity." (https://psmag.com/news/no-psychologists-arent-declaring-war-on-tradition

This episode explores the intersection of the man box and mansplaining and includes a special guest to share the male perspective of why mansplaining happens, and what we might do to shut it down. 
Resources in this episode:
 "Male Coworkers Were Asking This Woman Whether They Were ‘Mansplaining’, So She Created A Chart" (https://www.boredpanda.com/mansplaining-chart-explanation-kim-goodwin/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic) 
Rebecca Solnit, 4/13/2008 LA Times, "Men who explain things."
 (http://articles.latimes.com/2008/apr/13/opinion/op-solnit13) Elizabeth Aura McClintock, PhD, Psychology Today, "The Psychology of Mansplaining." (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/it-s-man-s-and-woman-s-world/201603/the-psychology-mansplaining) 
Mark Greene, "A fear-based need to project competency is at the core of mansplaining. But you already knew that."
 (http://remakingmanhood.com/2017/11/17/181/) Luke O’Neil, Mel Magazine, “The Snowflake Diaries: Mansplaining to Other Men."
 (https:/

Coming off the winter break and a lot of gender equality soul searching, this season will approach gender bias from a different direction -- exploring the "man box" and how it impacts us all. While many definitions and terms abound, the man box generally refers to the societal expectations we place on men -- to be "men" -- that can restrain their full expression of themselves and constrain their ability to speak up or act out against gender bias.
 I hope you'll join me on this journey as I learn about the man box and share what I learn, for the benefit of men and women. I'm not sure where this will lead, but at a minimum, I hope to bring awareness to how the man box affects us all and perhaps offer some suggestions of how we might all release ourselves from its grip, to the benefit of us all.
 I will share resources along the way, from those who are experts in this field. This week's resource is The Good Men Project. Check it out at https://goodmenproject.com, as well as Mark Greene's article, referred to i

In this last episode of the season, I explore the concept of gender gurus - people of another gender who can shed light and share their experiences on how they view issues affecting gender equality. The idea of gender gurus is new to me and came from an article by Leah Fessler about Josh Felser, founder and partner at Freestyle VC. I think it's genius, because we're all experts in our own experiences and if we share those experiences with someone else, we expand our collective knowledge base. I think this has the potential to move us towards gender equality faster and in a way that works for all of us.
 Your winter challenge: find a gender guru and have regular conversations about your experiences or gender topics of interest. If you connect with a gender guru, let me know at @UnravelingPink! 
I dedicate this episode to my dad, who has been my lifelong gender guru.

This special episode departs from our usual format to remind us of the privilege and responsibility of voting and shares the voices and perspectives of some awesome women about why voting is important to them. Please vote!
 Resources in this episode:
 African-American Women's Suffrage Movement
 Heidi Williamson, 2013, "Women's Equality Day Celebrating the 19th Amendment's Impact on Reproductive Health and Rights"
 Eugene Scott, 2017, "The Democratic Party Owes Black Female Voters A Big Thank You"
 Plus, A message from the Hamilton cast urging us to vote!

What's required to come back from a #MeToo incident? Time alone is not enough. This episode explores what a path to redemption might look like -- it might include some atonement that shows humility and a desire to change. This episode also tackles some societal changes we might need to make to reduce the likelihood of #MeToo moments in the future. Listen in and see what you think, then let me know what changes you would suggest by emailing me at unravelingpink@gmail.com.
 Resources in this episode: 
Shaunna Thomas, 7/29/2018, Popsugar.com, "Before His Comeback, Let's Talk Healing"
 Anna Silman, 5/1/2018, The Cut, "7 Actresses on Whether the Men of #MeToo Should Get a Path to Redemption"