The Tory: Perspectives And Poems: Dr Pratt Datta

OLD DEUTERONOMY Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time;     He's a Cat who has lived many lives in succession. He was famous in proverb and famous in rhyme     A long while before Queen Victoria's accession. Old Deuteronomy's buried nine wives     And more—I am tempted to say, ninety-nine; And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives     And the village is proud of him in his decline. At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy,     When he sits in the sun on the vicarage wall, The Oldest Inhabitant croaks: 'Well, of all ...     Things ... Can it be ... really! ... No! ... Yes! ...         Ho! hi!         Oh, my eye! My mind may be wandering, but I confess I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!' Old Deuteronomy sits in the street,     He sits in the High Street on market day; The bullocks may bellow, the sheep they may bleat,     But the dogs and the herdsmen will turn them away. The cars and the lorries run over the kerb,     And the villagers put up a notice: ROAD CLOSED— So that nothing untoward may chance

MUNGOJERRIE AND RUMPELTEAZER Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer were a very notorious             couple of cats. As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians, tight-rope             walkers and acrobats They had an extensive reputation. They made their home in             Victoria Grove— That was merely their centre of operation, for they were             incurably given to rove. They were very well known in Cornwall Gardens, in Launceston             Place and in Kensington Square— They had really a little more reputation than a couple of cats             can very well bear.         If the area window was found ajar         And the basement looked like a field of war,         If a tile or two came loose on the roof,         Which presently ceased to be waterproof,         If the drawers were pulled out from the bedroom chests,         And you couldn't find one of your winter vests,         Or after supper one of the girls         Suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls: Then the family would say: 'It's that horribl

THE SONG OF THE JELLICLES             Jellicle Cats come out to-night,             Jellicle Cats come one come all:             The Jellicle Moon is shining bright—             Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball. Jellicle Cats are black and white, Jellicle Cats are rather small; Jellicle Cats are merry and bright, And pleasant to hear when they caterwaul. Jellicle Cats have cheerful faces, Jellicle Cats have bright black eyes; They like to practise their airs and graces And wait for the Jellicle Moon to rise. Jellicle Cats develop slowly, Jellicle Cats are not too big; Jellicle Cats are roly-poly, They know how to dance a gavotte and a jig. Until the Jellicle Moon appears They make their toilette and take their repose: Jellicles wash behind their ears, Jellicles dry between their toes. Jellicle Cats are white and black, Jellicle Cats are of moderate size; Jellicles jump like a jumping-jack, Jellicle Cats have moonlit eyes. They're quiet enough in the morning hours, They're quiet enough in the afternoon, Rese

THE RUM TUM TUGGER The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat: If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse, If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat, If you put him in a flat then he'd rather have a house. If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat, If you set him on a rat then he'd rather chase a mouse. Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat—     And there isn't any call for me to shout it:         For he will do         As he do do             And there's no doing anything about it! The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore: When you let him in, then he wants to be out; He's always on the wrong side of every door, And as soon as he's at home, then he'd like to get about. He likes to lie in the bureau drawer, But he makes such a fuss if he can't get out. Yes the Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat—     And it isn't any use for you to doubt it:         For he will do         As he do do             And there's no doing anything about it! The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast: His disobligin

GROWLTIGER'S LAST STAND Growltiger was a Bravo Cat, who travelled on a barge: In fact he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large. From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims, Rejoicing in his title of 'The Terror of the Thames'. His manners and appearance did not calculate to please; His coat was torn and seedy, he was baggy at the knees; One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why, And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye. The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame; At Hammersmith and Putney people shuddered at his name. They would fortify the hen-house, lock up the silly goose, When the rumour ran along the shore: GROWLTIGER'S ON THE LOOSE! Woe to the weak canary, that fluttered from its cage; Woe to the pampered Pekinese, that faced Growltiger's rage; Woe to the bristly Bandicoot, that lurks on foreign ships, And woe to any Cat with whom Growltiger came to grips! But most to Cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowed; To Cats of foreign name

THE OLD GUMBIE CAT I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots; Her coat is of the tabby kind, with tiger stripes and leopard spots. All day she sits upon the stair or on the steps or on the mat: She sits and sits and sits and sits—and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!         But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,         Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.         And when all the family's in bed and asleep,         She tucks up her skirts to the basement to creep.         She is deeply concerned with the ways of the mice—         Their behaviour's not good and their manners not nice;         So when she has got them lined up on the matting,         She teaches them music, crocheting and tatting. I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots; Her equal would be hard to find, she likes the warm and sunny spots. All day she sits beside the hearth or on the bed or on my hat: She sits and sits and sits and sits—and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!         But when the day's

Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - The Naming of Cats by TS Eliot THE NAMING OF CATS The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,     It isn't just one of your holiday games; You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES. First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,     Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James, Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey—     All of them sensible everyday names. There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,     Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames: Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter—     But all of them sensible everyday names. But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,     A name that's peculiar, and more dignified, Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,     Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride? Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,     Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat, Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum—     Names that never

Alphabet Poem by Edward Lear A     tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood. B     said, "My Boy, O! do not cry' it cannot do you good!" C     said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm." D     said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm." E     said, "An Egg beat up in milk would quickly make him well." F     said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell." G     said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold." H     said, "His Hat should be kept on, keep him from the cold." I     said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon." J     said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon." K     said, "A Kangaroo is here,—this picture let him see." L     said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea." M     said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction." N     said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction." O     said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink." P     said, "Some Poetry might be

The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo Edward Lear  On the Coast of Coromandel Where the early pumpkins blow, In the middle of the woods Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. Two old chairs, and half a candle, One old jug without a handle-- These were all his worldly goods, In the middle of the woods, These were all his worldly goods, Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bo. Once, among the Bong-trees walking Where the early pumpkins blow, To a little heap of stones Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. There he heard a Lady talking, To some milk-white Hens of Dorking-- "'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones! On that little heap of stones Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!" Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly! Sitting where the pumpkins blow, Will you come and be my wife?" Said the Yongby-Bonghy-Bo. "I am tired of living singly-- On this coast so wild and shingly-- I'm a-weary of my life; If you'

I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough? Others may stumble, but not you, On hiccough, thorough, lough and through? Well done! And now you wish, perhaps, To learn of less familiar traps? Beware of heard, a dreadful word That looks like beard and sounds like bird, And dead: it’s said like bed, not bead – For goodness sake don’t call it deed! Watch out for meat and great and threat (They rhyme with suite and straight and debt). A moth is not a moth in mother, Nor both in bother, broth in brother, And here is not a match for there Nor dear and fear for bear and pear, And then there’s dose and rose and lose – Just look them up – and goose and choose, And cork and work and card and ward, And font and front and word and sword, And do and go and thwart and cart – Come, come, I’ve hardly made a start! A dreadful language? Man alive! I’d mastered it when I was five!

THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY. I. Once Mr. Daddy Long-legs, Dressed in brown and gray,Walked about upon the sands Upon a summer's day:And there among the pebbles, When the wind was rather cold,He met with Mr. Floppy Fly, All dressed in blue and gold;And, as it was too soon to dine, They drank some periwinkle-wine, And played an hour or two, or more, At battlecock and shuttledore. II. Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs To Mr. Floppy Fly,"Why do you never come to court? I wish you 'd tell me why.All gold and shine, in dress so fine, You'd quite delight the court.Why do you never go at all? I really think you ought.And, if you went, you'd see such sights! Such rugs and jugs and candle-lights! And, more than all, the king and queen,— One in red, and one in green." III. "O Mr. Daddy Long-legs!" Said Mr. Floppy Fly,"It's true I never go to court; And I will tell you why.If I had six long legs like yours, At once I'd go to court;But, oh! I can't, because my legs Are so extremely short.And I'm afraid the king and queen

THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO. I. Said the Duck to the Kangaroo, "Good gracious! how you hopOver the fields, and the water too, As if you never would stop!My life is a bore in this nasty pond; And I long to go out in the world beyond: I wish I could hop like you,"Said the Duck to the Kangaroo. II. "Please give me a ride on your back," Said the Duck to the Kangaroo:"I would sit quite still, and say nothing but 'Quack' The whole of the long day through;And we 'd go the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee, Over the land, and over the sea: Please take me a ride! oh, do!"Said the Duck to the Kangaroo. III. Said the Kangaroo to the Duck, "This requires some little reflection.Perhaps, on the whole, it might bring me luck; And there seems but one objection;Which is, if you'll let me speak so bold, Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold, And would probably give me the roo-Matiz," said the Kangaroo. IV. Said the Duck, "As I sate on the rocks, I have thought over that completely;And I bought four pairs of worsted socks, W

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Jabberwocky Lewis Carroll   ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves       Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves,       And the mome raths outgrabe.   “Beware the Jabberwock, my son!       The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun       The frumious Bandersnatch!”   He took his vorpal sword in hand;       Long time the manxome foe he sought— So rested he by the Tumtum tree       And stood awhile in thought.   And, as in uffish thought he stood,       The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,       And burbled as it came!   One, two! One, two! And through and through       The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head       He went galumphing back.   “And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?       Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”       He chortled in his joy.   ’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves       Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves,   

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The Owl and the Pussy-Cat BY EDWARD LEAR I The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea    In a beautiful pea-green boat, They took some honey, and plenty of money,    Wrapped up in a five-pound note. The Owl looked up to the stars above,    And sang to a small guitar, "O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,     What a beautiful Pussy you are,          You are,          You are! What a beautiful Pussy you are!"   II Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl!    How charmingly sweet you sing! O let us be married! too long we have tarried:    But what shall we do for a ring?" They sailed away, for a year and a day,    To the land where the Bong-Tree grows And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood    With a ring at the end of his nose,              His nose,              His nose,    With a ring at the end of his nose.   III "Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling    Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will." So they took it away, and were married next day    By the Turkey who lives on the hill. They dined on mince,

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