Joe Bates Explains It All

If you listened properly to my guide to dating apps and sites, you should have organised a hot date by now. and you're probably feeling pretty pleased with yourself. Well wipe that smug look off your face, because organising a date is only half the battle: you've still got to produce a masterful date performance in order to convince a person to be with you forever. The stakes could not be higher, but don't worry! Part 2 is here to give you all you need and more to make sure it goes perfectly. You'll find out how to make a positive first impression, what to do if things start to go wrong, and how many times it's acceptable to go to the toilet during a date. There's also a lot of other stuff in there too. I would wish you luck on your date, but you don't need it. Just listen to this through as many times as you need to, and you can thank me in the comments section for the best date of your life!

After numerous requests from friends and strangers for help finding romance, I've decided to upload my wisdom in mp3 format. This is the first part of a small series of guides to modern love, and it focuses on dating sites and apps. You'll learn how to create the perfect profile, hear about dating site 'hacks' that help you cut through the chaff and get straight to the romance wheat, and most importantly of all, I reveal the best dating site/app currently on the market. I've registered on, and been on at least six dates through, every single one of them, so you can trust my advice! If you use this initial advice properly then you will have a date with an extremely suitable and appropriate person set up within 72 hours. So keep a look out for part 2 in a few days time, which will tell you exactly how to act on a date, from table manners to small talk, to turn a perfect stranger into a beloved spouse.