Zero Credit(s)

INT. SILICON VALLEY GYM Jeff Bezos is deadlifting, like, 1,000 kilograms. He pauses at the top of the movement, tension and power radiating through his tight nerd body. Overhead, the gym’s Toshiba flatscreen TVs show footage of empty subways. Close-up on graffiti that reads: “DOWN WITH THE TRANSHUMAN DATA CLOUD -BANKSY” BEZOS (grunting tautly) The … Continue reading Episode 94: Facebook on Trial II: Killer Beeze →

Gone are the lighthearted days of Black Panther and snippets of longer conversations about Monster Hunter. They have been replaced by a general anxiety of a (at the time) at large serial bomber terrorizing the city of Austin. Curtain aside, we recorded a segment on the Austin bombings on Tuesday and said bomber was apprehended … Continue reading Episode 93: Deep Dives into Dark Times →

It’s that time of year, folks. Flowers start to bloom. Birds unearth themselves from their underground nap. And most US citizens suffer from the mass delusion that physically moving time forward an hour is worth it because…??? Seriously, name one legitimate benefit from moving the clocks ahead an hour. My mom used to say it … Continue reading Episode 92: Shmaylights Shmaving Shmime →

We’re out here on the digital red carpet, talking to all the stars as they upload their consciousnesses to the Hollywood Theater Chatroom. We’ve downloaded it all. The Shape of Water, Call Me By Your Name, Ladybird, Dunkrik, others, I’m sure. John and Henry are ex-cite-d to say the least about these 90th Annual Academy … Continue reading Episode 91: The Second Annual Academy Awards Episode Featuring the 90th Annual Academy Awards →

You’ve experienced the hype, you’ve read the articles, you’ve heard the word of the mouth, but could you possibly be prepared to hear two middle-class white guys talk about BLACK PANTHER? I THINK NOT!! But please do, please dear God, listen to this podcast. We need this like T’Challa needs vibranium. You’ve seem the movie, … Continue reading Supplemental Reading: Black Panther →

Greetings traveler and welcome to here, the Portland of Texas, Austin, Texas. John’s got all the hot tips and the secrets of this here city of Texas Angels and he’s split them up into four distinct quadrants. Come on down to Downtown Austin, Texas or over to East Austin, Texas or even The Domain. Come … Continue reading Episode 90: John’s Guide to Austin, Texas →

Lessmumblemumbleroolay, listeners, because it’s Mardi Gras time in the Zero Credit(s) studio! The furniture’s been put up and the recording space has been converted, for one night only, into the happeningest fais do-do around. Henry’s working up a pot of his famous étouffée, while John is cutting a rug with a blistering do-si-do, so bring … Continue reading Episode 89: Zero Credit(s) 2 Year Anniversary Show AKA Flambeaux: First Blood Part II →

The great Foot Ball Sunday Day is an event that happens but once every year, Dear Listener, and the ZC Boys could not be more excited to cover all the great events surrounding the Big Game. Not the game itself, mind, just the events surrounding it. We’re talking the commercials, the advertisements, the …third word … Continue reading Episode 88: Foot Ball Sunday Special →

The sky is growing lighter, but there’s still a chill that can cut to the bone. Come, weary souls, and let the Boys warm you with knowledge. Henry and John open the proceedings by delivering a collegiate-level overview of identifying difficult film genres (eg. Zoo, Museum). They hope your previous degree is now worthless. John … Continue reading Episode 87: Open Your Eyes, Ban All Knives →

Ext. Morning, cloudy. Charles Dance sits at a table in the courtyard of a brutalist skyscraper. He watches a couple meet and hug, as though they haven’t seen each other in quite some time. He is not moved by their reunion, despite his piqued interest. The couple moves to leave the courtyard and he stands … Continue reading Episode 86: Let the Games Begin →

It’s finally time for the first episode of 2018. But first, EMERGENCY ALERT ZERO CREDIT(S) EPISODE THREAT INBOUND TO YOUR EARS. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Henry and John are back at full capacity to discuss all the things they missed in the past two weeks. What Henry thought might be a … Continue reading Episode 85: Pointless Distractions on the Road to the Grave →

With last week’s Less Than Zero done, it’s finally time for the first episode of Zero Credit(s) of 2018. But first, here’s a Supplemental Reading on Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi from your favorite hosts Henry and John. The boys come at this movie from conflicting angles to determine what’s the deal with everyone’s reaction … Continue reading Supplemental Reading: Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi →

John’s out due to adjusting to his work schedule, so Jamie’s back to brighten up the podcast and tell us everything she knows about plumbing. She insisted I let you know, Dear Listener, that she was already in her warm pajamas when Henry asked her to fill in for John at the last second, and … Continue reading LTZ 4: New Year, New Mic, Same Content →

Let’s end this year right, Dear Listeners, by rendering judgement unto all. There is no sanctuary from judgement. All shall feel the light of the side eye cast on them. The unjust and just dab alike on this day. Let us take a walk through this year’s 10 special categories that represent the year as … Continue reading Episode 84: Best/Worst 2017 aka Teslas on the Moon →

Welcome to normal day podcast. We talk about all of your favorite segments. The olympics get spooky terrors. We then briefly reveal where henry talks about horror games featuring music by the semi honored classic simulation fire. This change in atmosphere fuels our discussion of the best content known to exist offline, listeners, and that … Continue reading Episode 83: Normal Day Podcast →

It’s that time again, listeners. Henry and John are firing up the Best/Worst machine by generating this year’s categories. Before that, though, H-Man & J-Ohn still haven’t quite shaken this most recent bout of Austin Bit Sickness, but they attempt to press on regardless. What’s the underlying narrative formula of Dragon Ball Z? The Boys … Continue reading Episode 82: Spoilers for Everything from 30 Years Ago aka Now We Riffin’ →

This is a formal warning that this episodes contains spoilers for the hit Netflix series Stranger Things, specifically in relation to the second season of the aforementioned show in its entirety. It is recommended that if you, Party B, have not watched the entirety of the second season of the aforementioned show, hereby referred to … Continue reading Supplemental Reading: Stranger Things 2 →

You’ve been waiting for it, listeners. And it’s here. It’s finally, finally here. Henry and John are in the same geographic location and it is GETTING HOG CRAZY IN HERE. A manic spirit has inhabited the body of John, and that spirit (you guessed it) is the Spirit of Adventure. Now, free from the bindings … Continue reading Episode 81: A Most Quarrelsome Quadrant →

It’s Coolsgiving again, Dear Listeners, and that means it’s time to settle once and for all who it is we pledge our Cool Thanks to on this gracious occasion. Henry and John Dive into the debate of a Thankful-themed holiday lifetime to hash out who is deserving of our Cool Thanks. With so much horribleness … Continue reading Episode 80: The Patron Saint of Coolsgiving →

Henry and John are back! After a week’s hiatus, the boys return with unmistakable vim and vigor and maybe vinegar. In an effort to inject some much-needed cash into the podcast, Henry and John go all-in on a new tiered microtransaction scheme only for it to all go to pot when they realize it’s a … Continue reading Episode 79: Looking for Whales →