Failed Critics

Welcome to this week's Failed Critics podcast, and after the highbrow in-depth exploration of the work of one of cinema's greatest auteurs last week, we are genuinely reviewing the latest batshit crazy instalment in the G.I. Joe franchise. We also mourn the fact that Dredd will not be getting a sequel, discuss the next film series that The Rock should resurrect, and James and Owen nearly come to blows over Danny Boyle's Trance. Join us next week for our Summer Preview Triple Bill!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Today we are honouring one of the single greatest film directors to have ever picked up a camera. A man who not only created some incredible films, but who changed the world of film-making on a stylistic and technical level over and over again. When we set up our Corridor of Praise, one of the entry requirements was that any inductees must not have won an Oscar in their main category, and the fact that tonight’s subject never received an Oscar for direction is a travesty. Still, the Academy’s loss is our gain, as it means we get to devote a whole episode to my favourite director, and I think probably the podcast’s overall favourite director.

A story of social outcasts with bizarre ideas about the world, communicating over huge distances and never meeting face-to-face. But enough about the Failed Critics team, this week we discuss Mary and Max, Owen's reward for winning our Oscar picks challenge. Also this week James reviews Brit thriller Welcome to the Punch and new Steve Carrell/Jim Carrey comedy The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, Owen revisits Conquest of the Planet of the Apes and Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and Steve turns off John Carter well before the end. Tune in next week (or download, or whatever)...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You lucky, lucky people. You wait ages for a Failed Critics Podcast with a cracking Triple Bill, and then two come along in a week.  James is away, so Steve, Gerry, and Owen almost certainly take the piss out of his age and deteriorating body, as well as reviewing new releases Side Effects, and Oz: The Great and Powerful. Steve continues his Box Office Flops odyssey with John Carter and Green Lantern, and in honour of Mother's Day the team choose their favourite movie mums in a hastily arranged Triple Bill. Next week we finally get around to reviewing Owen's Oscar Challenge choice, Mary...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Apologies for the delay in getting this edition of the Failed Critics Podcast to your earholes - our editor (and the only person with the keys to the shed where we store our high-tech servers) was down in London searching for fame and fortune on television. On a quiz show. That only students and old people watch. Anyway, this week the critics get their teeth stuck into the Oscars; from the winners and losers to the performance of professional...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hello Scotland! This week's Failed Critics podcast sees James head north of the border to report back from Glasgow Film Festival. With the reluctant blessing of the rest of the critics, he is joined this week by two special guests; Dave McFarlane from our 'sister podcast' Born Offside, and Paul Fisher from our new upstart rivals on the Write Club podcast. They review South Korean heist movie The Thieves, as well as documentary Men at Lunch and the microbudget feature Breakfast with Curtis. James is also joined by the excellent film writers Steven Neish and Amy Taylor at the first UK showing of Stoker, and they discuss that as well as their thoughts on Cloud Atlas, Citadel  and Songs for Amy, the new film starring Sean Maguire...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In this week's podcast we're reviewing Die Hard 5 (we're refusing to play along with their ridiculous naming practices), and in an effort to appeal to a younger audience we have decided to make the following changes and earn ourselves a 12a certificate. James is still drinking while recording, but his part has been cut to a 10 minute phone call from a Brewdog Glasgow (sponsors of our Glasgow Film Festival coverage) All references to the makers of Die Hard 5 being 'motherf***ers' for delivering an inferior version of the film to the UK market have been replaced by the more child-friendly 'dickheads' All scenes of extreme violence by Steve and Gerry on Owen have been replaced by scenes of mild peril We're back next week (including James) with our Oscars Special!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We were sadly a man down on this week's podcast, with Gerry suffering in the same way Eddie Redmayne did at this week's BAFTAs. Come to think of it, we've never actually seen Gerry and Eddie in the same room... Talking of the BAFTAs, we give you the low-down on the winners and losers from Sunday night's ceremony, as well as giving our Oscar predictions. We review the various film streaming services currently available (including Netflix, Lovefilm, and Mubi), and finally get around to reviewing Disney's Wreck-It Ralph. James is away next week covering the Glasgow Film Festival, so who knows what's going to happen next week...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The Failed Critics Podcast is back, and in somewhat lubricated style. Well, one of us is. This week sees the return of Triple bill, and in honour of the recent Sly and Arnie comebacks, we discuss the actors and actresses we would love to see make a big comeback. Also this week we review new release Hitchcock, James has an early contender for worst film of 2013 in Movie 43, and some of us discover some gems from 2012 that we missed the first time around in Silver Linings Playbook, Perks of Being a Wallflower, and A Royal Affair. Next week we'll be reviewing Disney's nostalgic look at arcade gaming in Wreck-It Ralph, reviewing the best film streaming services on the market, and giving our instant reaction to Sunday night's BAFTA Awards.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

On this week's podcast we review Zero Dark Thirty, Flight, Hyde Park on Hudson, and The Possession  We also induct the second member of our Corridor of Praise. Let's hand over to Gerry to introduce him... Murzzuschlag, Austria. The Second World War is ending. Aurelia Jadrny, a clerk in her early twenties whose husband was killed just eight months after their wedding, is working at her desk when she spots a tall, good looking man in his late thirties walking past. He's wearing the uniform of the gendarmerie, Austria's rural police, and she likes a man in uniform. Over time, they talk through the window - she works out when his shift is so she's always at her desk. His name is Gustav and when they marry late in 1945 he is thirty eight, she is twenty three. He is assigned to Thal, a tiny village, and they live in a simple stone house at the top of a hill, 100 yards from a ruined old castle, on the single unpaved road in the village. There is no plumbing, no shower, no flushing toilet, and the...  See a

The Failed Critics are back, and we're here to SHUT YOUR BUTT DOWN! This week we review Quentin Tarantino's latest blood-soaked and highly controversial (no change there) epic, Django Unchained.  One of us wasn't that impressed. We've got your curiosity, but do we have your attention? Also this week; James reviews a history lesson with exceedingly high production values in Lincoln, Owen talks about The Village, and Gerry finally gets round to seeing Magic Mike (the horny devil). We're back next with reviews of Zero Dark Thirty, The Last Stand, and we induct a very special Austrian ass-kicker into our Corridor of Praise.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Do you hear the critics sing? Podding the thoughts of angry men, They are the musings of a people who won't watch Rock of Ages again, When the bleating of the fool, Echoes the bleating of the drunk, There is podcast about to start when tomorrow comes! That's right, James has finally managed to persuade the critics back into the cinema to see another musical, and hopefully this time they won't want to kill him afterwards. Also on our big return we review new releases Gangster Squad, The Sessions, The Impossible, and Quartet. Join us next week as we review Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained. The D is silent, the podcast won't be...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Welcome to our first ever End-of-Year Review and the inaugural Failed Critics Awards! Get your tuxedo on, raid the free bar, and join Steve, James, Gerry, and Owen as they discuss their highlights from 2012, and their thoughts on the winners as chosen by contributors to Failed Critics. As well as the prestigious Top Ten Films of the Year, we also award the best performances, foreign-language film, documentary, and soundtrack of great year for film. Not only that, but we also review our last batch of films for the year - including our thoughts on Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher, Ang Lee's sumptuous Life of Pi, and Ben Wheatley's caravanning 'comedy' Sightseers. We'll be back on the 14th January with our review of Les Miserables - and we would like to wish all of our listeners a very happy New Year!   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas to every single one of our beautiful listeners (we hope the less good-looking ones have a decent time as well), and as an early Christmas present to you we present our favourite Christmas films. Well, three of us do anyway. One of the team decided that they wanted to be different and chose some films that might have a bit of snow in them, possibly a tree in one of the scenes. I wonder who... We'll be back on New Years Eve with a review of the year destined to be bigger, more bloated, and even less self-aware than late-period Marlon Brando. There's still one more day to vote for you favourite films of 2012 by visiting failedcritics.com - rock the vote!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In honour of this week's main review we thought about splitting this podcast into three full-length episodes, or recording it at twice the speed, or even inviting old guests back for needless cameos (except we've never had a guest on the podcast). Instead we felt the story of a short, hairy old man and his companions resonated enough with us hear to avoid such frippery. This week sees the Failed Critics dissect Peter Jackson's return to Middle-Earth in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. We'll give you the low-down on the new 48fps technology, discuss the wisdom of turning a short 'children's book' into a dark and epic trilogy, and two of the team confess to falling asleep at some point. It's one of our more argumentative podcasts so far, and there are some very passionate criticisms and defences of the years last blockbuster. We'll be back on Christmas Eve with our Christmas Films Triple Bill, and then on New Years Eve we'll be looking back on 2012 and revealing the first...  See acast.com/privacy f

This week's podcast returns to the bread and butter work of reviewing the latest releases, and the spotlight is on Martin McDonagh's follow-up to the brilliant In Bruges - Seven Psychopaths. Boasting a brilliant cast including Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, and Christopher Walken half of the podcast team (yes, I know...) give their verdicts. Also in this episode James tries to cement his hipster art-house credentials while sporting the worst French accent since 'Allo 'Allo with his glowing reviews of Amour and Intouchables; Gerry finally gets around to watching Prometheus; Owen gets confused and somehow watches Predators instead of Predator; and Steve goes to great lengths to test the podcast theory that we can watch any film which stars The Rock by reviewing Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. We're back next week with a Tolkien-inspired special epsiode with our first thoughts on The Hobbit.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We'd like to welcome you all to the first ever Failed Critics Corridor of Praise induction. The C.O.P. has been set up to honour the work of those legends of the movie world who have either never sought the acceptance of the Academy, or who have been shunned by those bestowers of baubles. In this podcast we are honouring the first recipient of our recorded adoration. He has a career spanning six decades, and his films have grossed over $6b worldwide. At one point 4 of the top 6 grossing films of all time featured him, and in 1997 Empire magazine named him as their No.1 movie star of all time. As well as the iconic roles he is known for, and that we will no doubt discuss shortly – he has appeared in films as diverse as What Lies Beneath, Working Girl, and The Fugitive  Of course I am talking about the one, the only, Jack Ryan…Indiana Jones…Han Solo himself. Harrison Ford! Also in this week's podcast we review The Master, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Rise of the Guardians, Room...  See acast.com/priva

This week on the Failed Critics Review we look at the cop film that French Connection director William Friedken described as the "best movie about cops ever made". Can James get over the found footage angle? Can Steve suggest a way he would have done it better? Can Gerry get around to seeing it? (No). Also on this week's podcast we look at James' future wife Marion Cotillard in the fantastic Rust and Bone, and discuss films as varied as Network, Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, and The Devil's Backbone. Next week's episode is the launch of the Failed Critics Hall of Fame, where we award some poor Oscar-less schmuck with some award I'll try and rustle up on Photoshop.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The Failed Critics Review is packed full of moaning, shuffling, bad-smelling, and barely sentient beings this week...and we also talk about zombies! James reports back on the 6th annual UK Festival of Zombie Culture, including the world première of the HD restoration of Zombie Flesh Eaters. There's a heated discussion on what constitutes a zombie movie, and whether the zombies that run are proper zombies. And don't even get James started on Danny Boyle's view that 28 Days Later isn't a zombie film. Then in Triple Bill the critics choose their favourite zombie films of all time.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

___________Argo______________Failed Critics Podcast_______________Based on a classified story_____________________ ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _________________James____________________Steve_______________Owen_______________Gerry______________________ ______________________Next week we'll be discussing our favourite zombie films ion Triple Bill_______________________  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.