Riders Radio Theater

Riders In The Sky have landed in Australia and are about to embark on a tour with Buffalo Sid’s Wild West Show! But the real reason for their visit is not all fun and games. The Riders are secretly investigating the mysterious stoppage of diamond shipments from the Sally B Mine. As they’re about to begin their journey, Ranger Doug has an unsettling premonition…

The Riders have made it to Paris, France to seek a bailout from EIEIO. Ranger Doug reminisces about an earlier trip he made to Paris, and the Riders hear a tale of love and loss between the esteemed yodeler and a banjo player. But as Ranger Doug walks into the offices of the EIEIO bailout division, he discovers that the head of the department is none other than his former love… featuring The Cluster Pluckers!

It’s a dark, overcast night in the far north Atlantic, the only path known is a narrow thread of rocky path five feet below the ocean’s surface. The ice that joins the various segments of the fabled land bridge to Finland is beginning to melt, and night is fast approaching. Suddenly, the Riders see a light in the distance. They’re saved! Or are they…?

After a hard day on the fabled land bridge trail connecting Canada to Finland, the Riders reached Greenland and set up camp beneath a towering snow-packed cliff. As Side Meat begins to open the first can of beans, the tin’s loud pop resonated throughout the campground, triggering the low rumble of a nearby avalanche in the distance… featuring Mel McDaniel!

While in Washington DC attempting to save their beleaguered small-town bank, the Riders discovered the Euro-Indo Economic and Industrial Organization in Paris - the EIEIO to those in the know. The EIEIO is designed to help small banks, but how will the Riders get to France? Fortunately, Woody once researched the legend of the lost northern land bridge to Europe. After traveling to Canada, the Riders donned thermal wetsuits and plunged into the icy waters…

Riders In The Sky, in an effort to save the First Rational Bank of Tumbleweed Valley, have gone to Washington DC. The Riders were sent to the Office of Risk Administration, Technical Morons Division, Research Control Branch of the Federal Emergency Banking Administration - or ORATMDRCBFEBA to those in the know. But with First Rational Bank needing to lose additional millions of dollars to receive assistance, there is nothing the agency can do. Is this the end of First Rational Bank?! Featuring Billy Walker!

After rebranding to Harmony Ranch, the Riders rode into town to arrange for a ranch equity load to spruce up for spring. Much to their dismay, they found the bank to be on the brink of collapse because of heavy investment in Australia gem-quality diamond futures, which apparently have no future. In an effort to save Tumbleweed Valley from financial ruin, the Riders take leave for Washington to propose a bailout…

After a run-in with the US Western Bureau of Brands Enforcement, the Riders have renamed their home on the range to Harmony Ranch. They then decided to head into town, each Rider with his own errands to run. Ranger Doug to see Miss Marm, Woody to the library, Sidemeat to the laundromat, and Too Slim to… the barber. Featuring Lou and Peter Berryman!

It's a beautiful spring morning in Tumbleweed Valley. The Riders are just finishing up breakfast at the famed Triple X Ranch, but an unexpected visitor from the US Western Bureau of Brands Enforcement is about to change their brand forever…

The toxic waste is about to hit the fan. The Riders, the Phantom and Miss Marm are on the trestle with a derailed circus train full of caged wild animals. Approaching the trestle at full speed is freight train carrying one million tons of liquid toxic waste. As the train barrels closer and closer, the Riders must find some way to cross the trestle and stop the impending disaster… featuring Waddie Mitchell!

Tumbleweed Valley is in a fine mess. Sheriff Drywall, dressed in Charlie's clothes with pillows stuffed under his shirt, is locked in his own maximum security cell. Miss Marm, bound and gagged, is tied to the railroad tracks. As the afternoon sun begins its descent, the Riders head to their friends' rescues… featuring Sons of the San Joaquin!

It's evening of the same day of Miss Marm's rescue and Charlie's capture. The Phantom of the Valley, Riders In The Sky and Miss Marm are relaxing around the fire watching Sidemeat roast pinto beans on a long stick. But a still free Slocum has plans to release 300 pounds of doofus…

On the desert that was once Tumbleweed Valley a little water would be most welcome, but in the land beneath the ground a little more water will mean the end of Riders In The Sky. As the Riders patiently wait for the Phantom of the Valley to remember exactly how to open the secret door, the water line continues to rise… featuring Vicki Bird!

A 300-pound flaming ball of fire resembling the doofus Charlie has blazed into town and leapt into the water trough in front of the ARID Land Development Company. But with the river – and trough – bone dry, the fireball bounces out of the trough and continues down the road into the city…

After the Riders’ Phantom 309 Truck Stop successfully diverted the toxic waste trucks, Slocum caught on and thwarted the environmental efforts. As America’s Favorite Cowboys fled the scene on Turbo’s trusty back, henchman Charlie launched a virtue-seeking missile directly in their path. Is this the end of Riders In The Sky?!

The Phantom of the Valley partnered with the homeless Woody Paul, Too Slim and Sidemeat to thwart Slocum’s evil plan. The crusaders for water rights opened up they mysterious Phantom 309 Truck Stop, diverting all trucks hauling toxic waste. Now, in Tumbleweed City, a mysterious lone figure plods down the town’s dusty main street…

After taking over all the ranches that border the headwaters of Tumbleweed River, Slocum has diverted the water into the caverns underlying the valley. As part of his evil scheming, Miss Marm is also trapped in the soon to be water-filled caverns. As the land begins shriveling to dust, the Phantom approaches… featuring 78 RPM!

Charlie has kidnapped Miss Marm and is holding her as a “guest” in the old Millers Cave. Believing to be hot on the trail, High Sheriff Drywall and his posse of the Riders have unknowingly lost that trail and have been chasing themselves in circles around a big mesa in the middle of nowhere. Meanwhile, Charlie is driving a tanker truck of nitroglycerin though a tunnel, where instead of turning on a nitro-stabilizing system, he switched on the radio…

Bad times have come calling all over Tumbleweed Valley. After Miss Marm refused all of Slocum’s offers to acquire her ruined prune farm, the evil villain sent evil henchman Charlie in the dead of night to kidnap her. It is the morning of Miss Marm’s abduction, and the Riders – minus Ranger Doug – arrive at Miss Marm’s cozy ranch house for news of the Ranger’s whereabouts… featuring Ranch Romance!

The evil villain Slocum is out to take over Tumbleweed Valley’s water rights. Through various nefarious means he’s acquired several ranches along the river, including the famed Triple X Ranch, and all that stands in his way is Miss Marm’s ruined prune ranch. It’s a beautiful morning in the valley, but to Miss Marm, things couldn’t be bleaker…