Recovery Elevator | Stop Drinking, Start Recovering. | Alcohol, Addiction & Life In Sobriety

  Lucy, with 65 days of sobriety, shares her story.   Do I need to avoid social situations where alcohol will be present?    The answer is yes, then no, then yes.  Sorry if that’s confusing. I explain better in the episode.   On January 1st, I launched the 3rd private, unsearchable Facebook accountability group.  All Café RE signups starting January 1st-January 31st will be placed in the new group.  This group will be capped at 300 members to ensure intimacy.  For the entire month of January, you can use the promo code 2019 for 75% off registration.    [8:40] Paul introduces Lucy   Lucy, with 65 days of sobriety, lives in London England.  She is a freelance makeup artist, which she loves doing.  She is single, likes walking, hiking, cooking, and drawing.   [11:30] Give us a little background about your drinking.   Lucy had her first experience with alcohol at age 12.  Her drinking kicked into full swing after she was 18, when she began working in bar and nightclubs.  She feels that it was a very quick descent

Jeff, with over 2 years since his last drink, shares his story… That could never happen… Analysis of the famed James Bond movies reveals that James Bond is a full-blown functioning alcoholic living on borrowed time.  “There is strong and consistent evidence that James Bond has a chronic alcohol consumption problem at the severe end of the spectrum… His workplace, MI6, needs to become a more responsible employer and refer him to support services and change their corporate drinking culture.”  The amount of alcohol that James Bond is consuming in the films is enough to leave someone far too disabled to engage in any kind of crime fighting.  SHOW NOTES   [7:07] Paul Introduces Jeff. Jeff has been sober just over two years.  He’s 43 years old and lives near Denver, Colorado.  He is married with one adult son.  He and his wife enjoy Netflix, boating, and writing.  He is the same guest as a previous guest, episode 104.  He is a genetic researcher.  He is extremely busy, with three jobs.  He found that most peop

Warren, with 48 hours since his last drink, shares his story… 12 reasons why sober is better: 1 - Look your best.   2 - Look and feel properly rested. 3 - Alcohol fixes things you didn’t notice were broken.  4 - Make the most of your time.  5 - Build better relationships.  The opposite of addiction is connection. 6 - More confidence.  You can do anything you put your mind to.  7 - Less fear! 8 - Save your money.  9 - Be more present.  10 - Avoid unnecessary disasters.  11 - Create the future you want.  12 - Improved memory SHOW NOTES   [8:20] Paul Introduces Warren.   Warren is 40 years old, from Martinsville, Virginia, and has been sober for 48 hours.  He’s married with two children.  He is the executive director of a domestic violence outreach program.  He also owns a sound company.  He enjoys fishing and camping, and the outdoors.  He thinks you shouldn’t always believe what you think.  He’s struggled with worrying about what other people think.    [12:09] Give us a bit of background about you drinking.

Jeff, with over 38 days since his last drink, shares his story… During this festive holiday season, we will, no doubt, we encouraged to drink at one point or another.  We can’t think ourselves out of long-term addiction, but in the moment, there are tools we can use to help gives us the ability to say no.  Follow the drink, and play the tape forward.  There is plenty of data behind us to help us make an informed decision.  If I have this drink, what will happen?  Remember why you quit in the first place and remember all of the positive benefits you have experienced from sobriety.  We all know alcoholic beverages can pack in the calories, but does alcohol have any nutritional value?  It’s safe to say that a Twinkie has more nutritional value than any alcoholic beverage.  By not drinking, you are not denying yourself of any vital nutrients.  In fact, alcohol inhibits general digestion in a big way.    SHOW NOTES   [8:57] Paul Introduces Jeff. Jeff has been sober for 38 days.  Jeff is 27 years old, from Quebe

Walter, with 2½ years since his last drink, shares his story… The Cure to Addiction… Is it possible?  Are we close to a cure?  No.  AA was founded in 1935, and since then we still don’t know what causes it or how to treat it.  A holistic cure will attack/treat the root causes.   The Rat Park experiment by Bruce Alexander points to the conclusion that the causes of addiction are social and environmental, rather than genetics or chemical dependency.  In the study, the addictive tendencies were eliminated when the stress was reduced and the environment changed.  Johann Hari’s Ted Talk says that the opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, it’s connection.  Addiction is not about the pleasurable effects of substances, rather it is a symptom of the user’s inability to form deep connections with other human beings.  The phenomena that is addiction will likely die out in a global community whose only borders are the sky.    SHOW NOTES   [16:19] Paul Introduces Walter. Walter is 47 years old, in Waco, TX.  He’s b

Asaph, with over 6 weeks since his last drink, shares his story… A link to the mentioned Russell Brand podcast episode with Gabor Maté.  Gratitude, what is it good for?... everything.  Gratitude is a topic that needs to be continually covered in recovery.  It’s a box in recovery that will never be checked, because it is ongoing.  How do we create a mindset of appreciation?  Apply some conscious attention to the things in your life that are there for you, whether it be people, or your left elbow.  Don’t take things or people for granted.  Remove or avoid the sources of negativity in your life.  Gratitude is good for our brains.  It positively stimulates the hypothalamus.  We can’t function without grace.  We are wired to be a grateful species.  It’s easy to be thankful for the good things in our lives, but what about the not so good times?  Gratitude can help us get through life’s challenges.  In fact, we can even become thankful for them.  Challenges and obstacles become our teachers and often send us

Patrick, with 10 years 2 months since his last drink, shares his story. SHOW NOTES [10:50] Paul introduces Patrick Patrick is 37 years old, and is from Brooklyn, New York.  He’s been sober since August 23, 2008.  He is married and has no children.  He works as a stand up comedian, recovery coach, and a video editor.  He likes to try to squeeze in a good meal between shows, visit friends, and snowboard.  He would like to get better at rollerblading. [14:08] Give us a little background about your drinking habits He did not drink until his freshman year in college, because he has a family history of alcohol abuse.  When he tried alcohol for the first time, he loved the way it made him feel.  Alcohol became problematic within his first year of drinking.  When he was drunk, he became unpredictable: he was the guy who took off his clothes and climbed buildings.  Despite getting warnings from counselors, he continued to drink for the next 8 years. [30:40]  What finally made you make that decision to go into sobriety

Aaron, with over 1 year since his last drink, shares his story...   SHOW NOTES   [12:30] Paul Introduces Aaron. Aaron is 39 years old, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  He’s been sober since October 16, 2017.  He’s married with two children.  He works in HR and Recruitment for a small company.  He likes home improvement, the outdoors, gardening.  He likes to restore and repair his house and cars.    [15:30] Give us a little background about your drinking habits.  He has drank every day more or less since college.  There was a strong drinking culture at his college.  He made a lot of friends through drinking.  It extended to his work after college.  He associated alcohol with being social.  Alcohol made its way into all of his activities.  He didn’t know how to regulate it.  He struggled to care for his children while he was drinking a lot.  He couldn’t concentrate and was getting cold sweats.  He decided to start regulating.  He read a book that asked him to regulate but it didn’t work for him.  He realized that

Dan, who doesn’t practice abstinence based recovery, shares his story… Link to the Fox News article mentioned in the episode “To be human is also to suffer from addiction. The particular vices vary as do our degree of addiction to them, but it takes precious little searching to know we’ve all got something unhealthy that pulls at us.” - Mike Kerrigan, Fox News SHOW NOTES   [11:08] Paul Introduces Dan. Paul doesn’t practice abstinence based recovery, and had a drink a few weeks ago.  He’s  28 years old and lives in New York City.  He runs a channel called Recovery X and Spooky Digital.  He does MMA.  He has a family.  He practices mindfulness.    [12:48] Give us a little background about your drinking.  He started drinking when he was 10.  His brother was getting married, and his parents allowed him to have a couple drinks.  He got really drunk.  He got a lot of attention and had a lot of fun.  His family started to warn him about alcoholism but he didn’t yet understand.  He would occasionally steal his fat

Corey, with 5 days since his last drink, shares his story… The mentioned article from the Irish Times   SHOW NOTES   [8:48] Paul Introduces Corey. Corey has been sober for 5 days.  He’s from Minnesota, now lives in Boston.  He’s 25 years old and is working full time.  He likes to exercise.  He loves music, plays guitar and piano.  He has an upcoming trip to Columbia, is learning Spanish.  He feels confused with life now that he has left the structure of school.   [13:31] Give us a little background about your drinking.  He started to drink a lot more during years in college.  He started to experiment with weed in high school.  He began to drink or party when he should have been studying.  He didn’t realize there was something wrong at the time.  He used his computer to avoid academic responsibilities.  He was okay with it as long as he continued to deliver on his academic duties.  He felt like he coasted through college and also began to coast through his first jobs.  He found himself in the same behavi

Kellie, with 2 months year since her last drink, shares her story...   SHOW NOTES   [11:00] Paul Introduces Kellie. Kellie has been sober for 28 days.  She’s 43 years old, married with two children.  She’s a real estate broker that enjoys puzzles, reading, cooking, running and hiking, and her animals.    She tried alcohol for the first time around 10 years old.  She dabbled in different drugs in her teens.  She drank through her 20’s.  She had her son at 26.  She cleaned up her act and became a stay at home mother.  In her late 30’s she had weight loss surgery.  She was in the hospital and something happened to her brother.  She bought a bottle of wine.  Her drinking gradually escalated after that.      [16:48] Would you say you had an issue with food prior to the surgery? Absolutely. She ate mostly healthy food but she would eat large quantities.  Her drinking began to affect her son.  She tried to moderate her drinking but it didn’t last very long.  She finally went to an outpatient treatment for 3 and a

Nel, with over 1 year since her last drink, shares her story… Drinking is more than the average habit.  To reduce our problems with alcohol to a “bad habit” is missing the bigger picture.  We drink for a variety of reasons.. for example: to cope, to ignore, to numb, to hide.  Digging ourselves out of alcohol dependency actually requires the changing or removal of several habits.  We need to change the way we relax.  We need to change the way we deal with difficult emotions.  We need to become more conscious, aware, and in the moment.  We have to slowly remember the version of us that didn’t need anything to be okay.  We have to change everything.  When one finds themselves in the grips of alcohol, it probably takes more time, effort, and patience to return to our emotional center than it did to lose it.  It doesn’t happen overnight, and there are many lessons to be learned along the way, but with patience, persistence, self-love and an open mind, we can find ourselves looking back on our time with alcohol a

Stephan, with 10 months since his last drink, shares his story… Harm Reduction - The feeling of constantly downgrading addictions.  Most of us address one addiction at a time, and usually tackle what we perceive to be the most harmful addiction first.  Things improve with each hurdle.  The lessons we learn from each stage strengthen our ability to move on to the next stage.  Often at the root of many of our addictive behaviors is essentially an addiction to thinking.  The majority of our thinking is unnecessary and just causes mental noise.  The thinking brain can take us to the worst case scenario in a matter of moments which can cause the body to respond with fight or flight.  If adrenaline becomes the main fuel that we use to get through our days, over time we will find ourselves with sickness and disease.  The key is to find a way to shut off the monkey mind without resorting to extreme activities like skydiving, etc.  Practices that cultivate inner harmony like meditation, yoga, playing a musical inst

Kelly, with 8 days since her last drink, shares her story… “Addiction gets harder and harder and ends in death. Sobriety is hard work too. But it gets easier and easier and ends in life.” - Andy Ziegler In this passage to sobriety, expectations do not always line up with reality.  In reality, it takes years for an addiction to take hold.  The healing process takes equally as long.  The negative thinking and behavioral patterns didn’t set in overnight, and won’t be lifted overnight.  It’s like turning a battleship.  We let go and reprogram gradually, a little bit each day, and that happens by making daily decisions that lead us down the road of self-love and health.    SHOW NOTES   [07:03] Paul Introduces Kelly.   In Fort Myers, Florida, 32 years old, sober for 8 days.  Happily divorced.  She is a mother, has a 4-year-old daughter.  She is learning who she is as a sober woman and mother.    [9:06] What lead to your decision to do the interview? She wanted to keep trying different things until she found some

Jamie, with 93 days since her last drink, shares her story… “No amount of alcohol is safe for your overall health.” “Alcohol was the leading risk factor for disease and premature death in men and women between the ages of 15 and 49 worldwide in 2016, accounting for nearly one in 10 deaths, according to the study…” A recent article released by CNN presents scientific studies that show the negative effects of alcohol consumption on one’s overall health.. delivering an opinion contrary to the largely pro-alcohol messages one typically finds in mainstream media.     SHOW NOTES   [9:15] Paul Introduces Jamie. Jamie is 39, from Alberta, Canada, and has been sober for 93 days.  She works in the school system and teaches fitness.  She is single, with two boys and dogs and cats.    [10:51] Give is a bit of background on your drinking. She started drinking when she was 12 years old.  She wanted to fit in with the bad kids.  Once she became old enough she drank much more.  She got married and had a child.  She los

Sarah, with 162 days since her last drink, shares her story… “When this happens, then I’ll be okay.”  You may already be living the live you have been dreaming about.  Try not to fall into trap of “when this happens, I’ll be okay.”  “When I get another month of sobriety”, or “when I move to another town”, or “when I get the right X” are all common examples of not living in the present moment.  Stop for a moment, take stock in the good things you have around you and try your best to find the magic and happiness you seek in the moment you’re in, right now.  Once you bounce back from the effects of alcohol, you might just notice that you already have enough.   SHOW NOTES   [7:50] Paul Introduces Sarah. Sarah has been sober for 162 days.  Sarah is from England.  She is divorced, with two kids.  She is still figuring out what she does for fun.  She loves camping, nature, the outdoors.  She has a sober boyfriend.  She recently quit her job in retail management and is now running her own little cleaning busines

Tamara, with 88 days since her last drink, shares her story… “There is only one line we can cross that we can’t come back from” The National Suicide Prevention Hotline – 1-800-273-8255 SHOW NOTES   [4:20] Paul Introduces Tamara, and she recaps her experience with relapse and suicidal thoughts. Tamara had a relapse after 48 days of sobriety.  She just moved to a new apartment.  She started the day running errands, then had a conversation with her sponsor.  She was alone, felt lonely and bought vodka.  She started to drink by herself.  She felt guilty because she is aware of the support structures that are in place, but she still witnessed herself resorting to alcohol to try to soothe her emotional pain.  She thought she had exhausted all of her options.  She began to have suicidal thoughts.  She recorded a goodbye message to her family.  She cut her wrist and sent the message.  Her parents received it and tracked her down.  They got in tough with her roommate.  Her roommate and her mother stopped her bleed

John, with over 1 year since his last drink, shares his story… The Journey One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice – though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. “Mend my life!” each voice cried. But you didn’t stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do – determined to save the only life you could save. By Mary Oliver SHOW NOTES   [8:45] Paul Introduces Randy.   Paul is a musician from Helena, Montana.  He’s been sober f

Angie, with 146 days since her last drink, shares her story… “Alcohol gave me the wings to fly, then took away the sky” SHOW NOTES   [5:30] Paul Introduces Angie.   Angie is 36 years old, lives in Atlanta, GA.  She has been sober for 146 days and is the proud owner of 2 dogs.  She loves live music, the theater and the movies.  She enjoys cooking.  She now enjoys her own company.  [7:06] Give us some background about your drinking habits.  She never drank in high school or college.  She started when she was in her early 20’s.  Drinking gave her confidence.  After a divorce in 2012, she attempted suicide and her drinking also ramped up.  She was having between 6-10 drinks a night.  She felt like she was barely surviving.  Her move to Atlanta did not cure her drinking, but it helped her to realize she had a problem.    [10:25] Did you ever have a rock bottom moment? She was sick and tired of being sick and tired.  She never really wanted to stop, but she had a rock bottom moment when she drank before work. 

Jennifer, with 568 days since her last drink, shares her story… Tracking your sobriety time – Do the numbers matter? To begin with, know that it’s not a competition.  We’re going for quality over quantity!  We quit alcohol because we want to improve our lives.  The end goal isn’t in the numbers, but in the increase in one’s quality of life.  Removing alcohol was the first step in a journey of getting to know ourselves, finding out what we really want from life and making the best of each and every day.  The real tracker is how you feel about who you are, where you’re going and what is meaningful in your life.    SHOW NOTES   [9:52] Paul Introduces Jennifer.   Jennifer is 36 years old from Cleveland, OH.  She has 3 cats and runs a business walking dogs. [11:52] Describe to us your background with drinking. She started drinking at 15.  She always thought it was normal to binge drink.  She thought it was a part of youth.  Her drinking held pretty steady until her mid 30’s.  She realized that we live in a drin