Soft Tattooed Millionaires

No Spain. No Argentina. No Germany. No Portugal. No.....Senegal. This week on STM, we break down how Mexico can continue this streak of giant killing against Brazil.

Yes, we love Mexico. We also love the US Open Cup, and the fact that the MLS season is halfway done, but DC United has only played 12 games. On this episode, Jack and Max recap CONCACAF's performance so far in the mundial, and discuss how to play it cool when someone gives you an amazing nickname.

This week, STM chooses 7 players on bad teams that you should be watching this World Cup. Much love to both Iran and Morocco. Also, Max and Jack discuss the likability of Englishmen.

A quick, lunchtime pod for y'all. Max and Jack discuss USA's 3-0 win over Bolivia, and what we can all expect to see in Ireland on Saturday.

After a long weekend near the Canadian border, Max and Jack return to discuss the USMNT roster. Furthermore, the two idiot brothers manage to insult all soccer fans in the process. Enjoy!

Wayne Rooney to DC, Curt Onalfo as GM, and the fizzling of Zlatan. It's a cheerful one today.

After a two week hiatus, Max and Jack return to discuss the starting 11 vs. Bolivia. STM also has the obligatory pro/rel discussion, and dishes out their picks for next USMNT manager. Open your hearts to The Deuce.

What do Toronto FC and Korean baseball have in common? Turns out, plenty. This week on STM, Max and Jack discuss FC Dallas, the Utah Royals amazing home support, and the Gianluca Busio.

Disclaimer: We recorded this before the LA Galaxy game, so whatever Zlatan has just done, we missed it. Anyways, Soft Tattooed Millionaires are back and ready for round two of CCL. What we are not so prepared for is Jason Kreis being a giant d bag to his fans.

There is no more essential reading in American soccer right now than Tim Myers', "Quiet Lies," and "What's the Truth." Both reports detail the myriad ways in which the MLS and Anthony Precourt have manipulated the narrative around the good city of Columbus. This is not just a pod for all those involved in the #savethecrew movement, but rather for anyone begging for more transparency in the game.

USMNT vs. Paraguay. The resurrection of Zlatan. STM is here to help you process the week you've just had as a fan of American soccer. Plus, Max and Jack ask, "Is there such a thing as a good soccer movie?" The answer is no, not really.

In this week's episode, Max and Jack talk NWSL, Zlatan, and some seriously bad TV announcers. There's plenty to stay positive about American soccer, though, and STM is here to make sure your glass is always half full.

Parks and Recreation has lied to us. City councils are actually really boring. Ask anyone in Austin. Or you could just ask MLS in Austin spokesperson, Derek Ensign. Luckily, this is exactly what we did. On this pod, Derek gives us a general status update on the MLS coming to Austin, and we engage in some light day dreaming about Mexican superstars playing in Texas.

Who is the coolest player in the MLS? STM try to wrap their heads around this scourge of lameness, all while reminiscing about bunk beds and potentially life-threatening illnesses.

Holy crap! Jack and Max are blown away by just how entertaining the CCL has been this year. STM discuss the Red Bulls' CONCACAF-y victory over Tijuana, and bask in the glory of all 38 MLS goals from the weekend.

Max returns from Santa Fe, Jack recaps MLS hijinks, and both boys discover something about themselves along the way. Turns out, CCL is actually everything they've ever needed.

Jason Marquitz, producer of the Mexican Soccer Show, joins STM this week to talk about the suspension of pro/rel in Liga MX. Jack also attempts to break a world record.

Harrison Crow, of American Soccer Analysis, joins us to preview the MLS season. We discuss which teams could possibly overachieve, and talk about which sides might be not quite as advertised. Who are our picks for the top of the table, and who's going to win it all? If you need to look smart in front of your soccer-loving friends, this is the pod to listen to.

Max and Jack highlight the achievements of some of our best and brightest, all while trying very hard not to rattle Eric Wynalda's cage.

STM gives their rapid reaction to the USSF presidential election.