Believe With Becky

199. Understanding the Four Horsemen of Conflict

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Synopsis

This episode features insights from John and Julie Gottman's research on conflict in marriage, advocating for healthy disagreement as a key component of intimacy and trust in relationships. Host Becky debunks myths about conflict-free marriages, introduces the concept of 'soft startup' for resolving disagreements, and discusses how to avoid the 'four horsemen of the apocalypse' (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) for better communication. 00:00 Welcome to the Healthy Conflict Series 00:11 The Importance of Healthy Conflict in Marriage 00:45 Learning from the Gottmans: Embracing Conflict for Intimacy 03:30 Understanding Your Conflict Culture 04:08 The Gottmans' Five Steps to Resolving Conflict 05:19 Identifying and Overcoming the Four Horsemen 10:01 Self-Reflection and Improvement Exercise 14:09 Practicing Healthy Conflict Responses 15:30 Homework and Preview for Next Week --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-smith0/message