Believe With Becky

Becky delves into the concept of 'hidden dreams' within relationships, drawing on insights from John and Julie Gottman's work on healthy conflict. Becky highlights how perpetual arguments often mask deeper, unexpressed desires and values. Through the lens of the Gottmans' personal experience and a detailed example of their methodology, she illustrates the transformative potential of uncovering and empathizing with these hidden dreams for resolving conflicts. The episode emphasizes the significance of thoughtful questioning in revealing underlying aspirations and acknowledges that, although not all conflicts are solvable, their manageability improves with mutual understanding and empathy. Becky encourages listeners to embrace the role of a 'dream catcher' in their own relationships and shares avenues for feedback and further discussion on this vital topic. 00:00 Welcome to the Healthy Conflict Series: Unveiling Hidden Dreams 00:21 Understanding Perpetual Arguments in Relationships 01:3

In Becky's 200th podcast episode, she talks about handling conflicts well. She starts where the last episode ended and talks about the third step: calming yourself and the other person down during arguments by taking breaks or doing calming activities like breathing exercises. Then, she talks about the fourth step: compromising, which she says isn't a bad thing but should be done in a fair way that respects everyone's views. She shares a personal story about resolving a conflict. The fifth step is about dealing with the deeper reasons behind conflicts. Becky wraps up by summarizing the steps and saying that dealing with conflict can bring people closer. She also mentions a webinar coming up where she'll talk more about handling conflicts healthily. 00:00 Celebrating 200 Episodes: A Milestone Moment 00:31 Diving Into Healthy Conflict: Steps to Navigate Disagreements 01:01 Soothing Strategies: Managing Emotional Flooding in Conflicts 04:28 The Art of Compromise: Finding Middle Ground 08:17 Addr

In this episode, we delve into the second step of the five-step series on resolving conflict, as taught by the Gottman Institute. The focus is on making and receiving repair attempts to manage conflicts effectively. The host, Becky, emphasizes the importance of starting conflicts softly, avoiding the 'four horsemen' that escalate fights, and adopting positive repair attempts. Techniques such as using 'I feel' statements, staying polite, and employing the Gottman repair checklist are discussed. The podcast also addresses the challenge of practicing these methods, especially for individuals prone to being people pleasers or suffering from codependency. Becky concludes with an invitation to an upcoming webinar that aims to help listeners foster healthy connections through better conflict management. 00:00 Welcome & Series Introduction 00:15 Recap: The First Step to Resolving Conflict 01:09 Deep Dive: Techniques for a Soft Startup 02:43 Understanding the Purpose of Conflict Resolution Techniq

This episode features insights from John and Julie Gottman's research on conflict in marriage, advocating for healthy disagreement as a key component of intimacy and trust in relationships. Host Becky debunks myths about conflict-free marriages, introduces the concept of 'soft startup' for resolving disagreements, and discusses how to avoid the 'four horsemen of the apocalypse' (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) for better communication. 00:00 Welcome to the Healthy Conflict Series 00:11 The Importance of Healthy Conflict in Marriage 00:45 Learning from the Gottmans: Embracing Conflict for Intimacy 03:30 Understanding Your Conflict Culture 04:08 The Gottmans' Five Steps to Resolving Conflict 05:19 Identifying and Overcoming the Four Horsemen 10:01 Self-Reflection and Improvement Exercise 14:09 Practicing Healthy Conflict Responses 15:30 Homework and Preview for Next Week --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-smith0/message

Refreshing Your Culture of Conflict In this podcast episode, Becky discusses the importance of recognizing and improving the culture of conflict within marriages. She draws an analogy between renovating a home and refreshing a relationship's approach to conflict, emphasizing the need to identify and change unproductive behaviors and thoughts. Despite the challenges, the effort made to enhance conflict resolution is valuable, aiming to strengthen relationships. Becky encourages listeners to engage with the series to learn about fostering healthy conflict and better disagreement practices in marriage.00:00 Introduction and Welcome00:45 Understanding Conflict in Relationships01:57 The Importance of Awareness in Conflict Resolution02:40 Home Refresh: A Metaphor for Conflict Resolution04:41 The Process of Refreshing Your Conflict Culture05:39 The Cost and Reward of Conflict Resolution07:08 The Value of Relationships and Conflict Resolution07:38 Conclusion: The Journey to Healthy Conflict --- Send in a voice

In this podcast, the host, Becky, discusses a common question asked by her coaching clients about managing emotional responsibility towards the feelings of others. She explains the challenge faced by empathetic individuals who are closely connected with their family, friends, or colleagues and feel obliged to take on their emotions. She discusses the importance of awareness of this emotional over-responsibility and offers advice on tolerating discomfort associated with others' feelings. Some recommended thoughts to help maintain emotional separation include acknowledging that other people's emotions are not about oneself, and understanding that one cannot fix someone else's feelings. Becky emphasizes the importance of acceptance and letting go of the need to change or take responsibility for others' emotions. 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast00:16 Understanding Emotional Over-Responsibility00:52 The Double-Edged Sword of Empathy01:44 Example of Emotional Over-Responsibility03:09 Steps to Let G

Rebuilding Trust and Dating after Divorce In this episode, host Becky answers a question about recovery and dating after divorce. She emphasizes the importance of thorough grieving and the role of forgiveness in healing. She asserts the necessity of building self-trust and confidence, and the ability to manage negative emotions to be ready to date again. She encourages viewing adversities as growth opportunities. Becky ends by offering a free consultation session to listeners for further assistance. https://calendly.com/believefitness/45 00:00 Introduction and Podcast Purpose 01:01 Addressing Listener's Question: Post-Divorce Recovery 02:01 Understanding the Grieving Process 02:32 Recognizing and Processing Pain 04:46 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Forgiveness 06:08 Building Trust and Dating Post-Divorce 08:27 The Power of Self-Confidence in Dating 12:08 Embracing Adversity as an Opportunity for Growth 13:02 Recap and Closing Remarks --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com

Overcoming Codependency and People Pleasing: Five Pillars of Resentment-Free Relationships In this Valentine's Day-themed podcast episode, Becky addresses resentments that often affect relationships due to codependency and people-pleasing behaviors. Becky offers a 12-week coaching package introducing five pillars for healthier relationships, free from resentment. The first pillar is 'Selfhood' where individuals work on building confidence and identity. The second pillar involves learning to have 'Healthy Conflict' while managing anger and learning assertiveness. In the third pillar, 'Emotional Support', individuals learn to understand and manage their feelings. The fourth pillar 'Boundaries' revolves around the understanding of being assertive without feeling guilt. The fifth and final pillar helps in understanding 'Codependency and People Pleasing Tendencies' and how to support people without being overly responsible for their emotions. You are invited to contact

Tapping Away Stress: Becky and Rachel Hall discuss the concept of 'tapping', a technique she has been practicing for over ten years to manage pain, depression, and anxiety. Trained through Brooke Snow's Creation Coach certification, Rachel shares her journey dealing with depression and celiac disease, and how tapping has helped her cope with these conditions. She explains tapping as an alternative to acupuncture, using pressure points to signal the brain's reaction towards relaxing the body and mind. Rachel and Becky discuss how it can be applied practically in managing emotions and stress. This podcast concludes with Rachel guiding Becky through an extensive tapping demonstration, offering listeners a firsthand account of its therapeutic potential. 00:00 Introduction and Guest Presentation 00:28 Rachel's Personal Journey and Life Coaching 01:48 Introduction to Tapping 03:23 Benefits and Mechanism of Tapping 04:27 Practical Application of Tapping 08:02 Tapping and Emotional Processing 11:20 Demonstration of

Learn five strategies for dealing with a grumpy family member: not taking the bad mood personally, resisting the urge to 'fix' the other person's emotion, reflecting on their feelings by verbalizing empathy, asking open-ended questions to understand their situation, and setting healthy boundaries. The message throughout is helping listeners to understand better, respond to, and navigate grumpiness in their relationships without attributing it to their self-worth, granting valid space for emotions to come and go in a respectful and caring manner .00:00 Introduction to the Podcast 00:08 Understanding the Grumpy Mood 00:19 Don't Take It Personally 01:11 Avoid Trying to Fix the Mood 01:51 Reflecting on Their Feelings 03:36 Asking the Right Questions 04:14 Setting Healthy Boundaries 05:23 Recap and Conclusion --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-smith0/message

Welcome to "Resentment Free Relationships" with your host, Becky. In this episode, she celebrates the podcast's nearly five-year journey, expressing gratitude to listeners. She dives into the Self-Coaching model by Brooke Castillo, a key tool in her life coaching practice. Becky guides you through its five elements: circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results. She also introduces the Law of Creation model by Brooke Snow, offering a different perspective. Both models aim to raise awareness in thoughts, feelings, and actions, as foundational tools for self-improvement. 00:00 Intro and Podcast Journey 00:51 Consistency Matters 01:28 Back to Basics: Life Coaching Tools 02:31 Understanding the Self-Coaching Model 04:45 Applying the Model: An Example 07:39 Power of Perception: Thoughts Shape Feelings 09:10 Introducing the Law of Creation Model 11:27 Comparing Both Models 11:55 The Power of Awareness in Self-Improvement 13:46 Recap and What's Next 15:14 Closing Rema

Becky talks about self-abandonment and its impact on relationships, particularly close family relationships. You will learn to identify five self-abandonment signs: fear of rejection, misunderstanding self-worth, avoiding negative emotions, reliance on external validation, and lack of boundaries. 00:00 Introduction and Personal Anecdote 00:39 The Importance of Close Relationships 01:45 Understanding People Pleasing and Codependency 03:03 The Concept of Self-Abandonment 03:30 A Real-Life Example: The Tire Pressure Incident 05:33 Recognizing Self-Abandonment in Relationships 08:42 Five Warning Signs of Self-Abandonment 13:51 Conclusion and Final Thoughts --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-smith0/message

Resentment Free Relationships: How to Improve Your Close Family Connections in 2024 In the January 2024 episode of the Resentment Free Relationships podcast, the host outlines the purpose, which is to assist listeners in improving their relationships, particularly close family ones. She aims to teach listeners how to stop seeking approval and feeling overly responsible for others' feelings while building their self-confidence and authenticity. Encouraging self-discovery, knowledge acquisition, and personal growth. Emphasizing understanding personal identity, setting boundaries without fear, and effectively dealing with conflict and emotions. The upcoming year promises to be a period of learning and self-awareness, contributing to a peaceful and harmonious personal life. 00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Podcast 00:39 The Ultimate Goal: Fixing Your Relationships 01:12 Learning to Stop Bending Over Backwards 02:08 Overcoming Guilt and Shame 02:23 Building Trust and Authenticity in Relationships 03:08

Year-End Review and Reflections: Wisdom and Wins of 2023 Becky reflects on the triumphs and lessons of 2023. She recounts personal experiences ranging from getting her bachelor's degree and becoming a certified life coach, to family projects and real estate ventures. She discusses embracing the challenges and changes that come with shifting stages of life, specifically in menopause and body acceptance. Becky also explores professional achievements in her coaching business, discussing topics she's tackled with clients. The aim is to encourage you to reflect on your victories and lessons of the year. 00:00 Introduction and Christmas Experience 01:28 Year in Review: Personal Achievements 06:50 Year in Review: Business and Career Milestones 10:03 Year in Review: Health and Fitness Journey 13:17 Conclusion and Encouragement for Listeners --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-smith0/message

Click on the link https://calendly.com/believefitness/45 and sign up for a free session where we will chat. about where you feel stuck, and where that negative emotion, which can turn into resentment, is bubbling up for you. So if you're feeling a lot of that resentment or feeling stuck click on the link, find me on Instagram, send me a DM, and let's chat. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-smith0/message

In this episode, we discuss the importance of being honest with ourselves and how self-deception can manifest in various aspects of our lives. Through thought-provoking questions, we aim to bring awareness to these hidden patterns without the weight of self-judgment. Key Questions Explored: What am I pretending not to know, or what am I pretending to not know is true? What is the thing I keep avoiding or not wanting to deal with in my relationships? What am I afraid to admit to myself, and how does it affect my choices and actions? What am I avoiding in my life, consciously or unconsciously? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-smith0/message

Welcome to "Resentment-Free Relationships" with Becky Smith! In this episode, we explore the concept of "Secret Contracts" inspired by Kim and Penn Holderness. These silent agreements in relationships, formed through routine, can be both efficient and potential sources of dysfunction. We discuss common triggers like unequal household chores, drawing from personal experiences and reflections. Becky shares her own journey of renegotiating responsibilities, emphasizing open communication. As relationships evolve, she encourages non-judgmental discussions for adapting roles. This week's challenge: identify and discuss your secret contracts. For a helpful guide, visit BeckySmithCoaching.com and grab the freebie on "How to Get Along with Your Mother-in-Law." Thanks for tuning in – see you next time! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-smith0/message

Becky joins Jordana Theissen as a featured guest on the "LDS and Loving It" podcast. Getting into some real talk about kicking those people-pleasing habits to the curb and building relationships without the baggage of resentment. Becky shares her story, shining a light on how high-functioning codependency can mess with your vibe and why self-awareness is Key. She's all about swapping out those "shoulds" for what you truly want, putting you back in the driver's seat of your decisions. Chatting about the nasty side of resentment, with some practical tips, allowing everyone to spot their patterns without piling on the shame. Ultimately, she's cheering on self-compassion, being true to yourself, and building real connections. It's like a heart-to-heart chat with your besties but with some seriously good advice! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-smith0/message

Special guest Denita Bremer, LCS certified trauma coach , shares her story and insights into trauma healing. Learn how to identify and understand trauma, explore the role of the nervous system, and discover practical tools to navigate fear and build safety in relationships. Instagram @Denitabremer https://denitabremer.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/becky-smith0/message

Hey there!