Just Winging It

Remember that person we used to be good friends with who had no kids, no commitments, and seemingly endless supplies of free time? Things have changed, and our sense of self can feel pretty much non-existent amidst the balancing act that parenting brings. Patrick and John work through how they attempt (and mostly fail) to find balance with a bit of self-care. The article by NPR mentioned in the episode: The Millennial Obsession with Self-Care. Bonus! Keep listening after the end music for Doug the Physicist's amazing (12 minutes!) response to the episode 11 question of whether or not it's possible for someone to levitate.

You're having a picture-perfect day out with the family when suddenly that adorable kiddo turns into a screaming banshee. Trapped in a public space, there's no place to run and hide. Tempted as you are to walk away and pretend they aren't your kid, you've got to deal with the situation. Now.   Forget about the poopy diapers—tantrums are one of the worst parts of parenting a little one. We've all been there. So what's the trick to handling them? Let us know if you've figured it out!   John and Patrick share some war stories and their strategies for getting through it.

Just when we think we have a handle on things, that second baby enters the scene to shake things up. On one hand, we feel more prepared—we already kept one alive for this long. On the other hand, the idea of twice as much of everything is... overwhelming. Patrick and John reflect on what that transition looked like for them: inviting a new little one into their family, the impact it had on their first, and the juggling act that comes with having more than one child.

We're overworked, overbooked, and overtired. Who has energy for adventures? In an age where every hour is accounted for, it's tough to imagine spur-of-the-moment anything with the kiddos. At least it is for John. Patrick swoops into this episode to share some of his escapades with the family, and the two chat about the value of cultivating that sense of adventure in a generation that will likely find it increasingly rare.

The #MeToo era has convinced a lot of men around the world to look in the mirror and ask themselves some pretty tough questions: What's masculinity? What's manhood? What power dynamics have I taken advantage of? What behaviors have I left unchallenged because it was easier to stay silent? Raising boys in these gender-aware times can be challenging. Unpacking some of those challenges with John and Patrick this week is Sebastián Molano of Defying Gender Roles, who is about to welcome a son of his own into the world. Check out the articles referenced in this episode at this XY collection. And for more on Sebastián's work, make sure to visit facebook.com/defyingenderoles!

We all want to raise kids who love to eat vegetables and "just say no" to junk food, but has anyone really figured out how to do that? With the plethora of modern-day foods to choose from, why does it feel more difficult than ever to get your kids to eat healthy?   In this episode, John and Patrick explore their own relationships with food, how they approached introducing their babies to eating solids, and the challenges that come with getting their kids interested in the right kind of food.

In our increasingly plugged-in world, it's refreshing to know that books are still as integral to the parenting experience as ever. Whether we're reading a book about trucks for the nine hundred thousandth time or fighting through the tears as we try to get through "Goodnight, Moon," parents end up spending a surprising amount of time reading to their children. In this episode, John and Patrick are joined by Jemma Stringer (a guest!!). Jemma, a gender expert, has a ton to say about the power of ideas in children's literature. And when you're ready for a good cry, you can read or listen to a reading of the column referenced in this episode, You May Want to Marry My Husband by Amy Krouse Rosenthal.

Hooking your kids onto your favorite music is a parenting perk that almost makes up for all the terrible kids songs you're subjected to hearing. Patrick and John chat about their passion for music, the fun of sharing it with our kids, and the surprises that come from discovering new music together.

Before we had kids, we had these images in our heads of what parenthood was going to look like. Holding our daughter's hand as she plants a seed in the garden. Hoisting our son onto our shoulders so he can pretend to be an airplane. But for some of us, parenthood ended up looking like a fistful of beheaded action figures being hurled through the air towards our eyes. And you know what? There's something beautiful about that, too. This week, John and Patrick discuss kids' strange enthusiasm for making messes.

What role does fear of missing out (FOMO) play in parents lives when the task of time management is already a practice in insanity. John and Patrick talk about the ridiculous moments that make us stop and think about what it really means to miss out on life.

Becoming a parent brings a pretty massive shift to our sense of self and purpose in life. Patrick and John reflect on the journey that brought each of them to fatherhood and podcasting.

We go into parenting preparing as best we can, despite the fact that nothing can truly prepare us. In this episode, John and Patrick tackle the concept of control—over situations, kids, or... anything. Plus, more poop stories! (Stay tuned: subsequent episodes will feature much-improved microphones!)

Stuff! How is it possible for these small creatures to draw in so much of it?! In their first episode, the dads find themselves navigating the stuff that carries meaning for our kids' (and our own) lives, and the stuff that weighs us all down. FTR, after you listen: it's Janet Lansbury who hosts a parenting podcast, Unruffled. You should check it out for actual parenting advice. Angela Lansbury, on the other hand, is doing her acting thing, hoping for an Emmy after 18 snubs.

Two thirty-something dads, John Abdulla and Patrick Greene, explore poopy diapers and the meaning of life.