Bad Words Club

Somewhere near the intersection of Lisa Frank and H.P. Lovecraft you'll find episode eight of The Bad Words Club. We actually manage to concoct SEVERAL great stories this time around, which is kind of a miracle because I think we were both in foul moods all day. We forgot the word "Purgatory" and I STILL can't remember what that thing on the front of the boat is called. It's a "figurehead." I had to look it up just now. 

We do just fine this episode. We pitch someone's vampire erotica for free, Justin stops himself before he tells a really bad joke, and I manage to cut a two-hour conversation down to just about one hour. We ALMOST made it all the way through without forgetting someone's name, until Justin BRIEFLY forgot about Malcolm McDowell.

This episode is just ONE DAY off schedule because I just straight up forgot to upload it yesterday. Lame. We forget all kinds of things this episode, such as the French clown Pierrot. John takes a while to come up with the name Pauly Shore, and we kick off the episode by confusing Lawrence of Arabia with 1001 Arabian Nights. Also I think this is the one where we admit we can't remember the difference between Catcher in the Rye, Field of Dreams, and Bull Durham. Later, we call out Youtube’s secret farm equipment snuff accounts and Justin shares a not funny story about industrial waste in Colorado. This episode brought to you by Flex Seal™. It’s good for boats!

In this VERY SPECIAL and VERY SEXY episode, John and Justin challenge themselves to only pitch stories with romantic elements. It goes about as well as it could go. Which isn't great. Is it any coincidence that, in this very same episode, we settle on a podcast "safe word" to prevent more "pogo stick" recordings? Yes, that is a coincidence. Stick around after the show for some great Yoda-related horror content.

The bad news is we have a soundboard this episode, the good news is we don't use it much. John forgets the word "cash register" and we cut out a bit where he also forgot the phrase "plastic surgery." We also cannot remember the difference between "The Man with One Red Shoe" and "The Man Who Knew Too Little," which is a crime. Also, there's some really bad audio production on this one but rest assured, Justin is not stuck a tin drum somewhere. He's got a better mic now and future episodes will sound a lot less like he lives in a shipping container.

Justin lands on this episode's funniest joke before we even play the intro music. This one's a little shorter than normal because we had to cut out SO MUCH JOHN. Here's just a few of John's insane ramblings that will never see the light of day: a story about frowning when he pre-screened Disney's Tangled, some light blasphemy, a claim posted on one idea because it's kind of too close to something he's maybe someday going to write about in a novel (probably), and a seven-minute rant about the dangers of abusing VR for propaganda. I can't help but recall that Season 1's second episode was kind of a pile, too. Maybe this is the curse of the Bad Words Club? Like how every other Star Trek movie bites it, maybe every second BWC ep is destined to be a big steamy one?

Bad Words Club is back from hiatus and ready to get rowdy. As of this moment we actually have the next two episodes recorded and in various states of editing. We're messing with the format a little this season with an eye toward actually producing a story or two. Keeping with tradition, we forget the name of a movie about summer school from our childhood (the movie was titled "Summer School"), and we butcher Michael Flatly's last name.

John and Justin meet face-to-face for the very first time EVER and record a special in-person episode of The Bad Words Club. Frogs fail to materialize and the sound quality is especially abysmal. We forget what trichotillomania is and confuse it with both Propecia and alopecia. In an extra-long bookstore segment we dissect some very good and responsible purchases. I think I edited it out of this episode but there was a ghost in the room that turned the bathroom light on. Also, this combo-breaking episode is the first one John doesn't drink through beginning to end. Tune in next week when John begins trying to break his six-episode streak. 

Whoa! While Justin and John are both traveling for a couple of weeks, enjoy this embarrassing stumble backward through time. Learn the secret of the Bad Words Club title! Hear the very first recorded episode of BWC! Get nostalgic for the days when we could go a whole episode without forgetting some celebrity's name! What a treat!

This week the podcast finally finds some direction: advertising. While John begs for money and forgets the phrase "one trick pony," Justin talks about the severed robot heads of his past. We bring up Star Trek AGAIN. Twice. There's a touching skit about well-intending muscle bros that goes a little too far (or maybe not far enough?), and in the bookstore Justin doesn't get to talk about Barf because he's too busy barfing. 

Condolences to our headphone listeners, this episode has some "unique" clicks and whistles that are just like waterboarding your eardrums. I'll watch some youtube tutorials and get it right next time. In this episode John misidentifies some cheesecake, the show gets its first piece of fan mail, and we both forget Michael Gross' name. Hey and we have a website (BadWordsClub.com) and twitter (@BadWordsClub) now. Neato.

In this episode John forgets Charlie Chaplin's name and Justin forgets the title of Naked Lunch. We take our very first trip to the Bookstore and do a VERY professional job of pitching a VERY real book. People I'm afraid I said offensive things about in this episode include conjoined twins, Aztecs, and chocolate bunnies. Speaking of which, I think I was too hard on Bill Murray in the last episode description. And we have a website and Twitter now! Check out www.BadWordsClub.com for both.

You know what? If we're being honest this isn't my favorite episode, mostly because we both forgot John Ritter's name. Man, and Bill Murray's recently turned out to be a little disappointing, huh? I don't know. Maybe we just don't have the hang of detail episodes yet. Maybe it's just not safe to have idols any more. If you find comedy in bleak, hopeless decision-making this is the episode for you, though.

Justin hijacks episode 1 and turns it into a Tim Allen fancast, John doesn't know how rodeos work, and we both overestimate how well we would fare in a fight with birds. Get it while it's hot and fresh (your mom's hot and fresh), it's the the very first Bad Words Club!