Preston Moore: Thoughts, Attitudes & Behaviors

How often do you try to fix, manage and control your life and wonder why things aren't working out the way you want them to? I distinctly remember "giving up" a few years ago and saying to myself, "I guess this is it. I'm in a job I don't like, my wife isn't doing what I want her to, I work 6 days a week, don't get to see my son enough and when I'm home, I just want to be left alone. I give up"! at this point, a friend of mine had been on me for a year trying to get me to do a personal development weekend called, the Landmark Forum. Desperate to figure out what was going on with me, I reached out and went through the weekend course. My only intention, to figure out what the hell I need to be doing with my life and figure out how I can make enough money for my family doing something I’m passionate about. That year, without even trying or doing anything differently, I made the most money I’ve ever made, I paid off $35,000 in credit card debt and we went on a spur of the moment vacation to Columbus Ohio. The Sun

I shared my recovery story at a local recovery high school here in Columbus. It was such an honor to be asked and to have an opportunity to make an impact on a few younger kids trying to navigate their road to recovery.

This episode is about one of my favorite metaphors for how I came into the rooms as a low down, skunk’y, funky trash can. Then, with the help of sponsorship, mentorship and group support, cleaned up to become a responsible, productive member of society. Now, I’m a clean trash can that can handle that which used to baffle me. I know what you’re thinking, a trash can? That doesn’t sound so uplifting! And you’d be right. However, I love the metaphor for how many of us come in overwhelmed, beat down and on a loosing streak. Even the smallest of life situations have been kicking our a*$. Then, with some work, a house cleaning, an inventory and a path to the supernatural, we are able to turn our lives around and sometimes for the first time, handle life on life’s terms.... so grateful.

Some of us have to learn this lesson the hard way... by getting fronted out in a meeting for breaking the traditions. This can be a touchy subject. It’s important when you’re in a 12 step meeting to introduce yourself in the way that they do it in that fellowship. For example typically, you do not want to introduce yourself as an alcoholic “and a” addict in an AA meeting or as an addict “and a” alcoholic in an NA meeting . Aside from the fact that in Alcoholics Anonymous they deal specifically with alcohol. So, to introduce yourself as an addict and or talk specifically about drugs, you are breaking tradition or: their suggested rules. It’s important that we keep in mind that each fellowship has a singleness of purpose so that more people are able to identify with who’s speaking. However, not everyone is exclusively one or the other ie: only an addict or only an alcoholic. So the dilemma some people find themselves in is, how do I stay true to myself, as a drug user in AA or a straight up alcoholic in NA. Wel

As much as I love that there are more conversations going on about mental health and addiction, getting people help can be complicated. From having to answer questions in an assessment correctly, ie: we’ll detox you from alcohol but not opiates or we’ll cover the opiates but not meth, to, getting into treatment and getting discharged early or: the doctor recommends 30-60 day of treatment and insurance will cover 3 weeks. There’s talk about insurance companies and services offering more coverage but ultimately it’s complicated. On the other side of the coin, I’m pro business. Why should an insurance company cover something they don’t have to? There’s no point in complaining about how the system is. We need to work with what we have and make changes as we go. How? You may ask. A good first step would be, being more open about what you’ve been through or about your mental health experience or your experience with drug and alcohol addiction. If anything, your community needs to know they have an experienced advoc

I can’t tell you how big of a part support groups have played in my life. Not only groups I physically go to but more importantly, the list of people I call on a regular basis. When I’m going through something, in life, at work and in relationships, I have to check my motives. I have to see where my thoughts, attitudes, behaviors, defects of character and most importantly, my ego is. These are the types of things that will blind my ability to connect with people and build up the important relationships in my life. When I talk to my people, I’m trying to find the root cause of my pain. What is it that is causing me to feel this way and how is it getting in the way of seeing things clearly. The people I speak to, are mostly men who have experience with what I’m going through. These aren’t buddies that are going to always agree with me. They help me with my side of the street. I also have a group of friends that I call the “commiseration committee”. These are the guys I call when I just want someone to tell me I

Many people have been in situations when they have to be around their old people, places and things. And, just because we quit drinking or using doesn’t mean the world should stop. So what should we do when someone offers us a drink or invites us out to an event where there will be alcohol? What about when you start a new job or meet someone for the first time, how do you address the “drink” question then? It can be easy if you’re prepared. I found it best to say “I’m allergic”. If you want to be funny you can say “I break out in hand cuffs”... as my wife would say, “I’m the only one who thinks thats funny”! If your new you can say , “I’m allergic... I’ve been breaking out into a bit of a rash when I drink so the doctor told me to stop for a while”. Or if you’ve been sober a while you can just say, “I’m allergic and don’t drink... do you have something else”? I’ve found the best thing is to answer the question and move on quickly as if to change the subject. Now, the absolute best thing to do is prepare to go

Responding instead of reacting... it’s sounds so easy doesn’t it!? • At any given moment I can feel consumed with fear, insecurity and or shame. One thing that comes up for me a lot is, the fear I’m not going to get what I want or fear I’m gonna lose what I have. If I’m not actively doing “the work I must do” in order to maintain the sense of ease and comfort that I desire from life, as well as the faith and trust that everything is going to work out better than I can imagine, I will act in a way I might regret or cause me to have to make an amends. • So what’s the solution to my dilemma and what “work” am I referring to? Spiritual work my peeps... prayer, meditation, journaling, serving others and asking for the direction of my highest power... for when I trust the direction of a power greater than myself, magically I act right, lol! More specifically, I act in a way I’m proud of and I don’t find myself in situations where I need to apologize for my behavior.

Ever been in a meeting or listen to someone talk and they say, “you know how we are” or “you know how alcoholics act”? I want to stop them in the middle of their share and say “no, we know how YOU act”! Now, I know it’s mainly just a way of speaking or euphemism however, when I use the word “I”, there’s a lot of power that comes with it. And by power, I mean the ability to change my behavior. I think by lumping the group into ones share, it minimizes the person’s behavior... they may be less likely to change because “everyone” is doing it. Today, when you’re sharing... say “I” not “you” or “we”.

It’s pouring out of me • The foundational principals for personal development and the major religions are the same • Half truths = Good advice that won’t work • If I change me, you now have to change because I’m not the same person • One thing I can do for sure is change my perspective • Speeches and workshops I’m working on • The High Cost of Anonymity • Quit Your Way to Success • 10 Life Lessons They Don’t Teach You in School • Most times I end up so much better off than I could have imagined yet I insist on trying to control the outcome • When I do the work, magically I feel better • preston@kprestonmoore.com

I laugh every time I realize I'm getting paid to do something I'd do for free! You can't make this stuff up!

I listened to one of my favorite podcasts, Short Story Long with Chris Drama Pfaff and he interviewed a guy named Dr Joe Despinza. Dr Joe has written numerous books like You Are The Placebo and Becoming Supernatural. He has an interesting background and his quest all started when he healed a terrible back injury with thinking and visualization... even though 4 specialists said the only option was surgery. The thing that stuck out to me the most during the interview was when he said, if you don’t plan your future you are destined to continue to cement your past (I’m paraphrasing). He hammers home the significance of consistently connecting your thoughts with the feelings associated with the results you want as if they’ve happened for you already. Lately, I’ve been hyper aware of how much crap I talk to myself and others... ALL in my head! It’s usually always negative and I end up creating some of the exact situations I say I don’t want. I also address how my impatience and entitlement get in the way of my own

Does anybody really know what the hell they’re doing? • How do you know when you need to make amends? And when you do, what do you say? • Be careful not to talk to much smack about “what you would do” if you were in someone else’s shoes because, until you’re in it, you do not know how you will act. • In the case of, hurting someone’s feelings, of course you need to clean up the mess you helped create. More importantly, when it comes to staying clean, sober and sane, amending a behavior is for us. The weight of inauthentic behavior will have you acting a fool!

I have to laugh at how often I live in contradiction. Flowing from serenity and spirituality to out right self-centeredness! My thoughts after a 12 o’clock meeting and a conversation with my wife and mother-in-law.

Why am I seeking outside "things" to change the way I feel?

A bit of the questions I like to ask up front and explaining the sale. Positioning a quick install as the best deal 2 up the possibility of signing paperwork.

It's suddenly it's me why I'm hesitant say what the truth is for sure. Who am I to say what your truth should be? I'm not even sure I know it for myself.

Morgan Freeman is one of the best Men of our time, yet do you agree with what he says about marginalized minorities? Is it easier to cast aside a group when they don't have a face? What do you think about AT&T, Verizon and Comcast paying over 101 million dollars to elected politicians, totally legal of course, and do you think our politicians will vote for whats best for you?

Guy gets shot by police officer while crawling down the hallway. Should he still be alive? Should the officer be prosecuted? How much does the War on Drugs and the corporatization of Prisons have to do with the militarization of our police force? Daniel Shaver, Philip “Mitch” Brailsford, graphic video,

One of my best cell strategies: set yourself up as a resource. How to present yourself as a resource for your customers by being a service to your customer, what did they buy or not, have a trusted network of people that you send business to and complement the competition!!!