Failed Critics

The year is 2029. The world is a horrible place where those who are different are deemed a threat. Those with special or otherwise exceptional talents, skills and abilities are segregated out from the rest of society. Shunned. In some cases, destroyed. Hunted. Fortunately this precludes Steve Norman, Owen Hughes, Andrew Brooker and Tony Black, who are allowed to just carry on as normal producing episodes of the Failed Critics Film Podcast for your delectation. Just in time for us to review the latest thriller in the X-Men movie franchise, Logan, starring Hugh Jackman as the titular mutant, aka Wolverine. On this weeks show, Steve wonders why anybody would ever want to watch anything like the Dave Courtney straight-to-DVD geezer movie Thugs, Mugs and Dogs. We also have our regular What We've Been Watching, where Tony begins plotting a trip to Derby after Brooker reviews the new Iko Uwais actioner, Headshot; Owen rewatches Kill Bill Volume 1 and decides he definitely won't be returning to Volume 2; Steve...

Welcome to the thirteenth episode of Character Unlock, unlucky for some. With little going on in the world of video games at the moment, hosts John Miller and Andrew Brooker have opted to spend just over an hour chatting about stuff that is about to happen with the imminent release of the Nintendo Switch and the recently announced Xbox Game Pass, an Access style rental service for Microsoft's console, before digging into an extended What We've Been Playing. Having definitely found his comfort zone recently, John continues the tales of his journeys with Mass Effect and Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Siege; whilst Brooker waxes lyrical about his short-lived fun times with full price PlayStation VR demo VR Worlds and reviews the first couple of hours of Horizon: Zero Dawn. To top things off this week, John goes into detail about the time he spent with the HTC Vive, a Steam based Virtual Reality headset. Hear about the games he was playing and enjoying while Brooker grills him about the tech. Join us in a couple of...

Hosts Steve Norman and Owen Hughes and special guests Paul Field and Andrew Brooker indulge in a bit of back-slapping over the Oscars in this week's episode. If you look directly underneath your seat, every listener to the podcast will find a spectacular, one-of-a-kind goody-bag filled with luxury items, such as one of 20 possible variations of a DVD with "Hooligan" in the title, a plastic receptacle measuring approximately 10 cubic centimetres, a mini-statuette of Dave Courtney with no trousers on, and a metaphorical token of our appreciation (redeemable once per lifetime and not for resale). We re-cap our picks for this year's Academy Awards from last week's episode and find out which of the team is going to be most happy and who will be the most disappointed with the final results. We also reminisce about Bill Paxton, who sadly passed away last week, before running through some of the films we've been watching lately. Steve finally found a cinema showing Fences after his rant about staggered releases on...

Firstly, apologies for the admittedly rubbish hatchet job on the editing this week. Long story short, after spending ages editing out the ums, pauses, yeahs, anyways, clicks, clacks, mic noises, talking over each other and insufferably bad jokes (maybe not so many of the latter), the project crashed. So much for recovery files. That just leaves a very (very) rushed edit - on the plus side, you get to hear for the first time in years just how an unedited Failed Critics podcast sounds! Secondly, at least all the content that was worth listening to survived! Hooray? Hooray! That means this episode contains our full preview of this weekend's Academy Awards... of which you can also pick the films you think will win an Oscar in the 11 categories listen on our website to win super-cool prizes (alright, not necessarily super-cool). Just visit: http://failedcritics.com/2017/02/22/failed-critics-podcast-wick-wall-and-wards . There are also reviews of a bunch of new releases in this week's episode. The...  Se

It's Valentine's Day! OK, it was Valentine's day when we recorded... What better way to spend your time than with the consoles that you love so much and the games that make you feel good about yourself? How about spending a couple of hours talking about those things with your mates? Welcome to this week's Character Unlock podcast. Fresh off the back of the last jam packed episode, hosts John Miller and Andrew Brooker spend a bit of time digging into the news from the last week or so. From Call of Duty going back to its roots and what that might mean for the series, to the insanity that is selling public access tickets for E3; the lads kill a bit of time wondering about the point of it all before heading to a marathon session talking about the games they've been playing. As John continues his mission to finish the Mass Effect series for the 132nd time in preparation for the new game, Brooker has to justify spending a small fortune on a PlayStation VR completely on a whim by playing almost everything made... &#

After quite literally years of podcasting, and uncountable hours of work going into it – the Failed Critics Film Podcast has reached its 250th episode! We know it’s just three or four blokes who have gotten to know each other quite well over the past five years, talking about films, but we’re pretty proud of it and hope that you enjoy listening to our little show as much as we've enjoyed reaching this milestone. If you think we show any promise at all, please subscribe and spread the word. Yes, for this very special edition, we've gone all retro. Hosts Steve Norman and Owen Hughes managed to convince both founding members James Diamond and Gerry McAuley to come out of retirement for old times' sake. Our rather serendipitous main release review this week is The Lego Batman Movie; a convenient call back to our review on the 100th episode. In fact, most things here are call-backs to past episodes, as you may notice from the featured image and bumf above, taken from the very first podcast published way back on...

Welcome to this week's episode of the Failed Critics Podcast as sister and brother merge in a horrific act of audio incest. By which I mean that (our sister gaming podcast) Character Unlock's hosts Andrew Brooker and John Miller join Steve Norman and Owen Hughes to review video game adaptation franchise series movie thing Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. Naturally the chat descends into a general conversation about the games as well (although you really should listen to the latest Character Unlock Resident Evil VII special for that). Also on this edition of Failed Critics is a pointless quiz, a conflab about the relative merits of the Super Bowl trailers, and of course our regular What We've Been Watching. Steve is a double-hard bastard who ain't scared of no TV static after watching The Ring and The Ring 2; Brooker squeezes in his annual watch of Any Given Sunday; Owen incites the wrath of PETA after a review of Rats, Morgan Spurlock's documentary; and John gets all nostalgic over Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark Side...

Ow yow doin', ar kid? Y'am oroight, ay ya? Bostin'! This bonus triple bill episode has the dubious honour of being our first ever podcast recorded live in person without the aid of Skype. Owen Hughes, Tony Black and Andrew Brooker went all the way to a pub in Birmingham to record 70 minutes worth of bonus content just for the Hell of it. Alcohol was consumed and a quiet corner in a lovely little boozer was found. The fact that the Six Nations then kicked off and the Failed Critics were soon surrounded by a cacophony of noise, whilst being stared at by the barmaid for not ordering any drinks for an hour and a half, is by the by. A short opening 5 minutes or so of slightly-tipsy chatter aside, the format is much the same as usual. There's a What We've Been Watching segment, where Tony gives us his take on the first five Resident Evil films, Brooker rewatches Peter Berg's Deepwater Horizon in preparation for Patriots Day, and Owen categorically states that yes, Shallow Grave is indeed a film. The show is...

And so, as the first month of 2017 comes to a close, the first big video game of the year to make waves has finally arrived. But unlike Resident Evil VII's intrepid hero, Character Unlock is bringing back-up. Poached him from his regular seats on both Failed Critics and the Retro Gaming Discussion Show, hosts John Miller and Andrew Brooker enlist the help of Matt Lambourne in their exploration of the Baker Family House. The gaming trio also wade through the swampy undergrowth of the last week's gaming news. There's plenty to talk about: Between theorising the possible ups and downs of a Marvel/Square Enix collaboration, there's a brief chat on the soon-to-be-released Prey remake, and a trip down memory lane reminiscing on old Namco games in honour of the company's recently departed founder. Brooker finds himself in Hell as John talks more on his Mass Effect series playthrough and Matt discusses the pitfalls of being a FIFA Ultimate Team player to the detriment of all other games. In this week's main... &

Welcome to this week's podcast as we hold the metaphorical tourniquet and inject you with our audio-skag. No c**t listens to this till we find out what c**t made it. (That would be Steve Norman, Owen Hughes, Paul Field and Matt Lambourne.) This week's main review is T2: Trainspotting; Danny Boyle's eagerly awaited (loose) adaptation of Irvine Welsh's sequel to his classic 1996 movie, starring Ewan McGregor, Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller and Robert Carlyle. Before all of that is this week's quiz, which follows Owen's verbal tirade about last week's booby-prize, the nonsensical British comedy Essex Spacebin, destined to be this year's Mob Handed. There's also a chat about the SAG awards as well reviews of Sadako vs Kayako (aka The Ring vs The Grudge), Oscar contender Hidden Figures, Paul's film of the year, A Man Called Ove, and the resurgent Shin Godzilla. Join us again next week for what will hopefully be two brand new episodes.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Well it seems we were a little hasty this week in recording the podcast. If only we'd have waited another 12 hours, we could have discussed the actual nominations for the Academy Awards and not just speculated. Although it doesn't seem to matter as we were broadly correct in our predictions and round-up our thoughts in a brief news section to open the show proper (after Steve Norman hosts the long-delayed quiz finale between Owen Hughes and Callum Petch). Speaking of delays - apologies to those of you who were expecting an episode last week. Fate conspired against us on a number of occasions when we wanted to record. But don't worry! Even though record-breaking La La Land was not released this weekend but seven days earlier, we still bung it in with both Manchester By The Sea and animated comedy Sing in the new release reviews. We also found time to run through some other movies that we've been watching of late as Steve gets creeped out by Robin Williams in One Hour Photo, Owen raves about sci-fi writer... &#

It's business as usual this week as Character Unlock forgets the specials... Forgets the films... And forgets to do any form of planning. In the latest episode of the video game-centric podcast, hosts John Miller and Andrew Brooker thank their lucky stars that the big conference detailing Nintendo's latest console, the Switch, happened because otherwise they would have nothing to talk about. Shambolic as ever, the lads pick apart Nintendo's new machine, the games that are/aren't coming with it and the extra gubbins you need to buy just to make it worth owning. The guys wax lyrical on whether or not it's worth picking one up at launch and whether the possibility of a new Xbox this year (that totally isn't racist) is the better option when it comes to who gets their money. In other news, there's an attempt to tackle the cancellation of Platinum Games/Microsoft exclusive JRPG Scalebound's cancellation and the closing of a studio near and dear to Brooker's heart. Also this week: John finally gets his hands on...

Bad episode titles, published at 3am, and two miserly gits moaning about the world? It can only be the return of Failed Critics Podcast in 2017! Hosts Steve Norman and Owen Hughes are on their Todd for the first podcast of the new year to talk about Scorsese's latest drama, Silence, as well as supernatural hocus pocus shenanigans in The Invitation. The pair also end up chatting about the iconic Steven Spielberg after Steve's first ever watch of The Color Purple - and perhaps more surprisingly, Owen's first ever watch of Schindler's List. In the news, there's a chat about Carrie Fisher's passing, which leads to a discussion about the use of CGI to replace actors in movies. We also quickly skim through the winners and losers of the recent Golden Globes and the speeches that were worth paying attention to.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

So begins 2017, the year that will almost certainly end with our hosts ruining the podcast completely because they refuse to stop talking about their big games once they come out. Wondering how much time the lads can actually spend talking about Mass Effect and Horizon: Zero Dawn? Stick with us this year and find out. But back to the present; with the Failed Critics guys having a well deserved week off (have you heard their stuff from the back end of the year? We're surprised Owen is still standing) we have decided to fill in the film flavoured hole that they've left this week. What better way to do that with rolling in an Assassin's Creed special that ends with us chatting about (and spoiling) the latest video-game adaptation? Fresh from their New Years Eve hangovers, hosts John Miller and Andrew Brooker return to dissect the decade old stealth series and have invited Failed Critics regular and Assassin's Creed super fan Brian Plank into our dark and dingy gaming basement to help us talk about the... &n

Fanfare, please! It's the final part of our Failed Critics Awards 2016 podcast. We've got the full list of all the films to make it onto our top 10 of the year, as voted for by you folks. Also in part 2, Steve Norman, Owen Hughes, Andrew Brooker and Callum Petch reveal which have been the best performances of 2016 from both male and female actors. Spoiler: Mob Handed star, Yvette Rowland, didn't make the shortlist - but did Mob Handed make it onto our worst 3 films of the year? Or even our top 10? You'll just have to listen to find out. If you missed the podcast yesterday, you can go back and listen to part 1 to find out what our best documentaries, British films, "foreign muck" and soundtracks are. We'll be back in the New Year, but until then, we'd just like to express our enormous gratitude to everybody who took the time to vote in this year's Failed Critics Awards. We're always surprised at just how many of you there are who are willing to give us any amount of your time, either to listen to the... &

Welcome to the first part of this year's Failed Critics Awards! Rather than force you to sit through a two-hour podcast only days after our three-hour compilation episode came out, we've split this year's awards in half. In part one, hosts Steve Norman and Owen Hughes are joined by Andrew Brooker and Callum Petch to scowl, whoop and whine about the winners in: Best documentary; Best British film; Best film not in the English language; Best soundtrack. As well, of course, as our end of year quiz! We'll be back with the winners in our best male / female performances, worst films of the year and the big one, our top 10 movies of 2016 - as voted for by you, our listeners and readers. [APOLOGIES IF YOU RECEIVED A DUPLICATE OF THE 'BEST OF' EPISODE - PLEASE RE-DOWNLOAD TO GET THE PROPER AWARDS PODCAST]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's just gone midnight on Christmas Eve, which means those of you who have managed stay up past your bedtime and wait for Father Christmas can officially open one of your presents early! I've got the perfect one for you, right here... This brand new episode is a three and a half hour long 'best of' the Failed Critics Podcast from the past 12 months, all cobbled together into some kind of Christmas TV type compilation episode. There's all of our favourite bits, including Paul's famous quizzes, reviews of Mob Handed and Killer Bitch, every single booby-prize that Owen and Steve put each other through, all of our pre-titles and post-credit stingers, and loads more. It's not gift wrapped. It's not store-bought. There's no receipt so you can't go and exchange it for any other podcast during the Boxing Day sales. But hopefully it'll keep you company should you be enduring any agonisingly long car journeys over this festive period. Merry Christmas all and a happy new year from everyone here at Failed Critics!

As the year draws to a close and everyone takes this opportunity to breathe a sigh of relief that the seemingly unending misery of the year of our Lord 2016 is finally over, it seems that we've actually had a pretty decent year for gaming. To celebrate, join hosts Andrew Brooker and John Miller as they rattle down their best games of the year; and scrape the barrel to name a couple of rubbish ones. The lads drag out some games that they've talked about before on previous episodes, refusing to stop beating those dead horses and instead opt to get as much life out of them as possible; as well as finally getting to talk about a couple of games that they've been holding on to for just this occasion. Tension and drama aplenty as John tries to big up one of his favourite games of the year but throws abuse at it instead, leaving Brooker to defend not only that, but the TWO Bethesda published games that John refuses to believe are good. Will this episode turn into a shouting match? Will either of them come out...

Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away... a bunch of humanoids (that rather suspiciously looked a lot like regular homo-sapiens) hatched a plan to steal some prized blueprints that will allow these feisty rebels to finally topple their evil authoritarian overlord once and for all. Unfortunately for them, the best they could manage was to kick this wretched git off their podcast for a week instead, as Steve Norman, Paul Field and "Crisp Packet" Dave Valentine return for another Star Wars special episode - sans Owen Hughes. With the arrival of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story in cinemas this week - heralding Disney's monopoly over the Christmas blockbuster with their second attempt at reviving George Lucas's space-opera adventure series - we reunited last year's trio to dissect all things good and bad with the post-prequel-sequel-prequel... thing... There's a quiz (of course there's a quiz) that Quizcast host Paul takes charge of again, putting our Star Wars knowledge to the test, before a run through of the...

We left some mince pies and a nip of sherry out in the nip of sherry in a vain attempt to attract someone jolly onto the Christmas special podcast this year but instead we ended up with Steve Norman, Owen Hughes, Brian Plank and Tony Black. Festive frivolities ensue on our very merry podcast with a Christmas-themed quiz to kick things off before a plug for our Failed Critics Awards 2016 (which you can vote for here before 27 December: https://failedcritics.com/2016/12/12/failed-critics-awards-voting-2016/) and a glimpse at what we might be picking for each category. You can thank Tony's autocorrect for the invention of our Secret Sandra section of the show. Anonymously exchanging movies amongst each other in a 'secret santa' format, we somehow only exchanged one lump of coal. Steve ended up watching quirky black comedy I Love You, Philip Morris, whilst Brian unwrapped The Internet's Own Boy (a documentary about Aaron Swartz) and Tony mulled over topical horror-comedy Krampus. Meanwhile, Owen sulked in the...