Better.

Are there crucial life lessons to be learned from having a serious illness?  Is it possible that cancer can actually make you a better, stronger person?  And do the thoughts that you think daily play a role in just how much we suffer through such a process?  These are just a few of the ideas we tackle with today’s guest, Jessica.  When diagnosed with breast cancer, Jessica decided to approach her illness from a mindset of healing as opposed to the all too common “fighting" one, using the mantra #BetterEveryDay to not only shift her focus away from fear, but inspire many, many others to do the same via hashtag in the process. Highlights of this episode include: What is #BetterEveryDay, and anyone can use this to improve their life significantly Her cancer diagnosis, and the irony of the day she found out Approaching illness from a place of healing, not fighting How cancer has made her a stronger, better person in many ways Attending Game 7 of the World Series

Erin Taylor & Sue DeCaro are PCI certified parenting coaches as well accomplished speakers and authors (their respective resumes are not a short read!). Together, they formed Building Connected Communities, a network of therapists, life coaches, social workers, etc., working together toward the common goal of inspiring change in the world.  They’re here today to talk not only about their story and experiences, but what they feel are some of the biggest obstacles in raising children in our modern society. Highlights of this episode include: -How they both became parenting coaches, and the life experiences that influences their practices -The importance for males to allow be in touch with their feminine side -The biggest problems they see as parent coaches -The most important part of being a parent that often gets overlooked -How our children can also be our teachers -The best way to teach children to calm their minds in only 2 minutes

Just a quick episode today to all of you out there who may be experiencing some anxieties over the holidays, dealing with difficult people or family members, and how to set yourself up for a happy and successful 2017. Enjoy!  

The title says it all here, folks.  Today’s episode features top Chicago attorney, Beth McCormack, who’s here to talk about her work focusing on family law, and all the things that go into navigating the tricky, gray areas of topics like divorce and domestic violence.  Beth has a developed a unique approach to such cases by employing a philosophy that favors conflict resolution over destroying the other party in court. Lots of great wisdom and knowledge here, especially in regards to maintaining your mental health throughout situations that tend to be so emotionally taxing. Highlights of this episode include: -Why she requires all divorce clients to work with a mental health professional throughout the divorce process -Litigation vs. Mediation: How to determine the best divorce process for your unique situation -How fear manifests as anger in most divorce cases, and how this negatively affects any children that are involved -How being a parent herself influences the way she practices law

December 9th is always a weird day on the calendar for me, as it’s the day my younger brother, Tom, took his life. So today I’d like to take some time (along with my wife, Julie) to share some of my favorite memories of him, talk about what made him so special and unique, and hopefully provide a different lens through which to view any loved ones of yours who may be dealing with depression, addiction, etc...

As a natural born athlete, Conner fell in love with the sport of hockey at the age of 3. It was this passion that carried him all the way through his childhood, teen years, and was what he was planning on using to pave the way through college. You can say that it completely defined his life and who he was.  Until age 18, when an unfortunate accident left him unable to lace up his skates for an indefinite amount of time. So what happens when you suddenly can’t be who you are anymore? How does one pick up the pieces and re-discover their sense of self-worth and find meaning in life again? Conner’s got some great insight on today’s episode... Highlights of this episode include: -Conner’s love for hockey since age 3 -His knee injury at age 18 that left him unable to play the game -His recovery and what life was like with the absence of hockey -His 2nd injury, and the depression and drug use that followed -Where Conner is today with his recovery and mindset

Today’s guest is Nick, who has a number of wild stories to share about his past battles with drug addiction. Like many in his situation, it took Nick a long time to come to terms with his problem and finally get the help he needed to bounce back. But that’s only half the story. Where it gets really interesting, is when all the drugs are finally in the rear-view mirror, and Nick is suddenly left to face all of the unresolved issues that likely caused him to turn to drugs in the first place… Warning - some explicit language in this one! Highlights of this episode include: -The story of how Nick and I first met -His initial experiences with smoking weed, and how he eventually began selling it -What is Electric Forest, and why everyone should attend (for real!) -The intervention his parents had for him, and why he refused to go to rehab -The story of how it all came crashing down, and he decided to finally go to rehab -Most importantly, the challenges he didn’t expect to be facing once he was finally sober

Today’s guest is Samantha, who is here to share her story about about the ups and downs of a few different relationships she’s been in, including an abusive one that wreaked havoc on her life.  What’s really remarkable about Samantha is her unwillingness to play the role of the victim as so many of us do when life and relationships don’t exactly go our way.  Instead, honing her self awareness has allowed her to recognize some re-occuring patterns in her relationships that she’s since been able to overcome, and acquiring some killer wisdom on “trust” along the way. In this episode we discuss: -How she eventually realized the relationship she was in was an abusive one, and how it affected all her other relationships -How she eventually became seriously ill over the stress she experienced during this relationship -How she was finally able to cut ties and break free -How similar patterns emerged in her next relationship, and how she reacted to learning about his drug problem -Most importantly, why she’s ultima

"Usually if you do something you love, it tends to make you happier and feel better.” Today’s guest is my niece, Claire, one of the most awesome, interesting teenagers I know. From losing her father at a very young age, to growing up with epilepsy, to being wrongfully accused of self harm at school, she’s already accumulated a significant amount of life experience for her age, all of which she’s used to grow from and create a genuinely happy life for herself. Turns out that the old stigma of the kid who’s wearing all black, dressed in Metallica shirts, and drawing on themselves might actually be the happiest of the bunch! Highlights of this episode include: -The impact that drawing has on her ability to be present -How she was accused of self harm at school -Why she sometimes draws on her skin, and how she talked a friend out of self harm -The stigma of wearing all black, Metallica shirts, etc. -How losing a parent at a young age affected her life -Living with epilepsy -Her advice to parents on how to rai

Some thoughts on last night's election results, how to explain to our children and move forward...

Today’s guest is Kathleen, a mother and artist whose unique approach to parenting has allowed for simplicity and balance in her life while still cultivating meaningful bonds with each of her kids.  Through her various stories about raising children, we learn that parenting doesn’t need to be much more complicated than providing a supportive environment for your children to grow and they will wind up with everything they need to embark upon their own life’s journey... Highlights of this episode include: -What happened when she gave her son the option to simply STOP doing his homework -Why a gap year was the best thing to ever happen to her son -Why if she could change one thing about her past, she would’ve gotten a Farrah Fawcett haircut in high school -How she got her 21-year-old son to go to Ikea to take photos (Hilarious!) -Her brilliant 'pool table’ metaphor for life

Our inner monologues can oftentimes do a number on us if we allow them to.  They can tell us we’re not good enough, or that we need to stay in that bad relationship, in addition to an endless amount of other diatribes that cause us to wage unnecessary war against ourselves.  My conversation with today’s guest, psychologist and certified life coach Lisa Kaplin, takes aim at these voices and deconstructs them with a number of very important questions:  Are these voices even real? Whose voice is it? Are they serving you or making you happy? What if you changed it to a different voice, something more positive and nurturing? How would this change your life? All of this, and much more! Highlights of this episode include: -Silencing the voice inside your head that says you should do what other people want you to -How staying in a bad job or bad marriages can set up bad models for your kids -Why she decided to work exclusively with women in her coaching practice -How Instagram culture is affecting our kids -C

Cara Pollard is a friend and colleague of mine whose practice was born out of a significant childhood event - one day, her mother left to “go buy a pack of cigarettes” and didn’t return for an entire year.  Instead of growing into an angry, resentful adult over this, Cara ultimately used the experience as an opportunity to become an expert in the art of forgiveness.  Cara’s here to share her story today, and detail how forgiving her mother was essentially a pathway to deep healing, avoiding destructive feedback loops, and creating the family and career of which she had always dreamed. In this episode we discuss: -Her mother’s abandonment as a child, and how their relationship is now stronger than ever because of it -Why you should never badmouth a parent to a child, regardless of the situation -Is forgiveness more of a process, or a point in time? -How her experiences as a child helps her coach other parents today

Where we last left off in Part 1, Emily was telling us about her experience dealing her younger brother’s battle with brain cancer, in addition to the news that her mother also had cancer. Things had seemed like they were finally settling down for a bit, until her brother’s cancer returned... In this episode, we talk about: Her brother Jack’s second cancer diagnosis, and where she was when it happened The hilarious joke Jack played on me when I ran into one time What Jack had to say about Emily shaving her head Her last time she saw Jack The period of time following his death, why she never took time off from school Why death, dying, and illness doesn’t need to be a taboo topic to talk about.

Emily vividly remembers the day she got the news. Unfortunately, she hadn’t made the volleyball team that year. While something like this might crush the average 13-year-old, Emily was able to shrug this off like it was nothing. Mostly because when she got home that day, she learned that her younger brother, Jack, had cancer… Today is the first half of a very important conversation with Emily, whose family took a journey to hell and back that they never asked for, and handled it with some of the greatest strength and poise I have ever heard of. Perhaps most importantly, I’m blown away by the person Emily has become as a result of her circumstances. Her heart, her humor, and her humility is the stuff of sages... Highlights of this episode include: -What it was like to get the news about her brother Jack -Her parents’ disposition that life was going to move on anyway throughout Jack’s illness -How cancer allowed her to create a very special bond with her brother that wouldn’t have been possible

Laura is back for Part 2 today to share the rest of her story.  Where we last left off, Laura had just packed her bags and shipped off to Germany in the wake of her brother’s suicide.  I don’t want to spoil too many details here, but the conclusion of Laura’s story is a true testament to how to the struggles you endure really do shape who you are for the better, and allow to give back a great deal to this world. Highlights of this episode include: -The “scripts” that we carry around about ourselves, and how they influence who we are... -The effect that becoming a college professor had on her, despite never really believing she was smart -The seemingly small incident that finally helped her feel “at home” in her career… -How she made the incredible leap from college professor to therapist -How all the difficult things she went through in her life informed the work she does today -The best way to explain addiction-related issues to children -And even a little Springsteen banter!

My guest today is Laura, a great friend and highly-valued colleague and, you will find, a wildly eloquent badass. Today, Laura is kind enough to share her triumphant life story of overcoming enormous obstacles over decades, including alcoholism, tragic loss, and low familial expectations. All along the way, you can sense Laura’s unwavering steely strength, and deep faith in her ability to not only survive, but to overcome and leverage her experience to help and guide others. Laura shares her story here with generosity, warmth and humor. One can only imagine that her friends, family and clients benefit enormously from the richness of Laura’s story.

Big announcement today, everybody. We are changing the name of the podcast to "Undue Anxiety" for a number of reasons, which I explain in this quick announcement. Lots of exciting, new and improved things to come!

Lately, I’ve had a wave of mothers and daughters in the therapy room that have been having some knock-down, drag out verbal brawls right before my very eyes.  And as I’m witnessing these all-out battles, one word comes to mind - AWESOME! That’s right… awesome! Today’s short podcast is about how it’s just okay to emote; to scream at your loved ones; to hash out your issues as a way to work toward resolving them.  You’d be surprised about the amount of anxiety that this simple tactic can relieve!

Today’s guest, Samantha, describes the post-college job search as a period of “Free Fall,” in which there is lots of uncertainty, instability, and rejection to be encountered along the path to building a meaningful career.  And riding the coattails of those three things, of course, is anxiety. Anxiety about immediately being able to support yourself and pay back student debts. Anxiety about comparing yourself to others. Anxiety about your family wondering what how come you haven’t found a job already. But the truth is that today’s job market for college grads has changed quite a bit since the last generation, and getting caught in any of the above mindsets isn’t productive or helpful. Luckily, Samantha is able to report from the trenches here with some valuable words of wisdom for navigating this period. Highlights of this episode include: -How today’s entry level job market for college grads isn’t the same as earlier generations -Is there shame around not having all "the answers" at 22? -How her strugg