Jojo's Bizarre Explainer

Two thirds of this podcast hates polenta and the other third is wrong. Fugo would like for you to vouch for his Crime skill on LinkedIn. The main villain of a JoJo's arc has power over time and cuts off someone's hand and we know you're shocked. We are in awe of Bruno's grief zippers. Araki proves once again that he has seen The Godfather. And if anyone can tell us what kind of building code allows for a 13th century tower to have an elevator but no stairs, please write to us at JJBX, The Pirate Club, Ogre Street, London, England. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podcast will tease out the running m

If you haven't watched the 1991 film Thelma & Louise yet, just trust us that it's just like Vento Aureo in the essentials. Giorno Giovanna is a library nerd. This week's fight has Giorno parroting essentially what Abbacchio was telling him back during the Man In The Mirror fight. We revisit and appreciate anew the 1996 Olympic games. David Productions started drawing thicc characters and refused to stop just because what they were drawing was a statue of a lion. And if Hell actually exists and we end up there, it will probably be because of what we say about the Pieta. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi

This episode features the greatest man to ever drive a Mazda Miata. Giorno finds another opportunity to turn something into a snake. Narancia is definitely a tiny grumpy old man in the body of a teen. Courtney only vaguely remembers anything about part 3. We tease out the difference between kids media and all-ages media. Giorno and Mista...pretty gay for each other? Pretty gay for each other. Surprisingly, Passione keeps all their IT staff in house, which has to get expensive what with all the murdering of said IT staff. And David Production's cursed schedule starts to impact the animation quality of the show, RIP. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth

Imagine if it was possible for women to have children...how would that even work? Fortunately, this episode answers this question, maybe too thoroughly. That does not prevent us from asking many questions, most of which deserve to go unanswered for the rest of human history. Yet another person with a commercial driver’s license meets an assumedly bad end. It is confirmed that if you try hard enough, you can make a turtle live off human waste. Giorno levels up yet again because sure why not at this point. And if you stole every car in the world, where would you put them? (Obviously, the answer is “in a frog pond”.) -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth S

Questions asked and answered in this episode: How many pieces can you cut yourself into and still live? What’s the difference between avenging your dead brother and avenging your dead lover? Should Pesci use his stand for orthoscopic surgery instead of crime? How long can you go with your heart stopped without consequences? Why is Number 5 sad all the time? And, who told Bruno that “Arrivederci” was a cool catch phrase? -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podcast will tease out the running motifs, fascinating weirdnesses, occasional dog deaths, and ineffable charm of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure—anime-epi

Welcome to our discussion about a nice hard rod. (Ahem.) Pesci gets his ass handed to him by Mista. The gang mostly all age like a fine wine. Proscuitto is a sexy, majestic human being who did nothing wrong. Sex Pistols is an extremely powerful Stand, which is odd since guns in general aren’t very effective in the JoJos universe. Yet another driver of a large transportation machine dies. Courtney makes the tragic mistake of bringing up lobsters again. And if you’re keeping score at home of how many times we have brought up the Alessi episode on this podcast, add another mark to the tally because for some reason we just can’t lay off it. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for yo

Join us as we valiantly attempt to explain the two greatest mysteries in life: 1) Pesci's face and 2) the magical transit turtle. Marvel as we manage to come up with perfectly passable (by our standards) explanations for both. Coco Jambo is slang for a hot man with killer dance moves, so make of that what you will. We spend far too much time talking about the biology of lobsters. Eliz is not sapiosexual for Narancia. And our conspiracy theory about the creation of an entire television series just to add realism to 2.2 seconds of Vento Aureo is, sadly, debunked. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podca

Courtney knows too much about blood. Eliz forgets about the existence of Holly Kujo née Joestar. The David Production team forgets how to draw human faces. We officially rename a Stand (say hello to Juicy Blues). We temporarily forget about who Giorno’s dads are. Courtney still doesn’t understand how Stands work. Darius knows too much about mid-nineties summer tentpole movie THE ROCK. And Araki clearly forgot how poison, antidotes, or antibodies work when he wrote this fight...assuming he ever knew in the first place. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podcast will tease out the running motifs, fascin

Of all the members of Passione, who would have thought Fugo was the one Araki cared the least about? (Not us.) We are forced to try and determine Fugo's astrological sign, since Araki *didn't even give him a birthday*. David Productions is leaning way into "sexual assault" this season and, perhaps obviously, we aren't fans. We meet Purple Haze, one of the more upsetting stands for a protagonist to have. And the mechanics of this fight require us to contemplate, once again, what the difference is between being alive and being dead. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podcast will tease out the running m

We regret to inform you that this episode is very horny. Eliz makes possibly the worst name-related pun in the history of this podcast. We attempt to create a list of all the things Lil' Bomber can't harm, but we have to stop because the answer is: everything. Courtney knows too much about how fire kills a person. Giorno Giovanna: excellent middle manager. The Encarta 95 introduction audio montage lives on in our hearts forever (say simply, very simply...good morning). And we discover yet another source for Jotaro's ~aesthetic, and it's surprisingly not gay? -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podcast

This podcast is now about The Bridges of Madison County (1995). Mista's back story is that he dresses like he's on Dawson's Creek and his dad is the only straight cowboy in the JoJo's universe. There is innuendo in this arc and it's there on purpose dammit. We cast the boys as Sailor Moon characters. Arts and Crafts would be a really useful stand power to have. And "truck driver" beats out "mafia assassin" for Most Dangerous Job in the World. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podcast will tease out the running motifs, fascinating weirdnesses, occasional dog deaths, and ineffable charm of JoJo's Bizar

This week we dissect every blissful moment of The Torture Dance sequence, god bless us every one. Darius gets to nerd out about music some more. Almost everyone in the Italian mafia is in a gay couple. Mista maaaaaybe has DID? (If ONLY he was the only character this season we could say that about.) Courtney’s years of therapy finally pay off by allowing him to talk at length about Sex Pistols’ internal family dynamics. And of all the places to go with your boyfriend for your first gaycation, Capri is maybe the third-gayest option in the world, well done Giorno. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podca

We determine that Araki loves pipes, Soft Machine is Silver Chariot that turns you into a condom, and the whole boat thing is really stupid. We discuss whether it is valid to ship Bruno and Abbacchio with anyone else (spoilers: not really, no). And as a podcast we are split over the age old question: Abbacchio... or ACAB-io? -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podcast will tease out the running motifs, fascinating weirdnesses, occasional dog deaths, and ineffable charm of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure—anime-episode by anime-episode, with stops along the way for the manga, the videogames, and whatever else

Hope nobody here loves the number four because it’s canonically the worst number. We meet the gang and immediately play favorites with them because that’s what we do here. Abbacchio’s parenting methods are beyond reproach. Giorno must spend hours ruminating on what to do if someone pees in his mouth #relatable. Mista is a master class in conflict avoidance. Fugo and Narancia...are there as well? And somehow a shoe is now a body part that Giorno can use to track someone, because Giorno gains a new stand power every episode. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podcast will tease out the running motifs,

Who here loves a nice fresh murder-banana? (Not Polpo.) Giorno gets pierced by the Arrow and absolutely nothing happens, which is objectively wrong, but also wtf would Giorno do with even more superpowers except forget he has them? Koichi tries to perpetuate the lie that he survived getting Arrowed. We are forced to think about people who murder trees, arguably a worse behavior than selling drugs to children. And where in Italy, exactly, does one purchase a pizza blanket, and do they deliver? -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podcast will tease out the running motifs, fascinating weirdnesses, occasio

We meet Polpo, a man who is the living embodiment of the fact that Hirohiko Araki saw The Silence of the Lambs multiple times. Giorno gets a confused pat-down from security officers before attending the worst job interview in history. We determine that hotness is recessive, and that Giorno fears confrontation. And as always, we have many, many questions about how the damn arrow works. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podcast will tease out the running motifs, fascinating weirdnesses, occasional dog deaths, and ineffable charm of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure—anime-episode by anime-episode, with stops alo

We have opening credits this week, and we remain a podcast divided on whether they are good or the absolute worst. History remembers Dio Brando as a champion back-haver. We spend some more time with Giorno, the Trauma-Informed JoJo. Bruno's sartorial choices are analyzed at length because...that's what we do here. And, incredibly, this is the second time in the series that a human being hides inside another living creature as a tactical advantage, well done Araki. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Bizarre Explainer is here for you! Hosted by Elizabeth Simins, Courtney Stanton, and Darius Kazemi, this podcast will tease out the running motifs, fascinating weirdnesses, occasional dog deaths, and ineffable

Welcome to part 5 of JoJo, where the wind is always golden and the twinks are (mostly) underage. Now that we‘ve all been thoroughly spoiled by DiU, it's back to the salt mines of uneven episodes and story pacing, because David Production clearly ran into some issues during this season. We are in Italy now, home of the tomato, Tonio Trussardi, and a vast criminal network that apparently only recruits gay people. Koichi is doing family genealogy errands for Jotaro because he’s a very supportive partner. We get a small glimpse into Jotaro’s home office. And we meet our fifth JoJo, Giorno, who is living proof that two men can have a baby so long as one of them is Dio. -- JoJo’s Bizarre Explainer JoJo's Bizarre Adventure! Either you love it, or you've never seen it. But what exactly is JoJo? Why is everyone talking about it? Why is it so great? Whether this is your first foray into Hirohiko Araki's decades-spanning masterpiece, or you're a seasoned JoJo Opinion Haver looking for more of your kind, JoJo's Biza