How To Survive

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 274...and what touched this place cannot be quantified or understood by human science.   Color out of Space (2019) tells the story of the Gardener family, who have recently left the city to start farming alpacas. As they begin to embrace country life, a meteor lands on their property, bringing with it unseen and unimaginable horrors.   Cosmic Horror season wraps up with the movie that's widely considered to be the best H.P. Lovecraft adaptation. We talk about the benefits of embracing firearms; some straightforward PPE advice; and the failures of a public health official to do even a rudimentary job.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: It came from the stars... where things ain't like they are here.   Jump on Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to suggest what we should cover

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more. It's episode 273...and I'm not insane, you hear me! I'M NOT INSANE! In The Mouth Of Madness (1994) tells the story of John Trent, sent to investigate the disappearance of horror novelist Sutter Cane, and recover the manuscript for his latest novel. As an epidemic of violent behaviour spreads across the land, Trent tracks Cane to Hobb’s End, a town previously thought to exist only in Cane’s novels. There, Trent will discover unimaginable horrors that have the potential to rewrite reality in terrible ways. Cosmic Horror season kicks off with a Carpenter love letter to HP Lovecraft. Expect tension and tentacles, madness and monsters, plus an extended discussion of whether or not it’s ok to only give an axe murderer a bucket to use as a toilet. All of which leads to one question: How would you survive? Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Every species can sense

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 272...and I don't like this kind of talk; the things you're saying.   Where exactly do you start with Inland Empire (2006)?   Ostensibly the story of Nikki, an actor cast in a remake of a supposedly cursed film in which the actors were murdered, what follows is a three hour psychological horror tone poem in which fiction and reality repeatedly collide, break down and are rebuilt. Lynch runs the gamut of everything from surreal rabbit sitcoms to surreal Polish neo-realism, with Laura Dern clinging on for dear life at the centre of his artistic hurricane. It might just be a work of genius.   July's David Lynch season concludes with a borderline incomprehensible piece of arthouse cinema as we ask ourselves a series of unanswerable questions: What does it all mean? Is this the ugliest-looking film we've ever watched? How do you survive a paintin

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 271...and I want ya to "think" and stop bein' a smart aleck. Can ya try that for me?   Mulholland Drive (2001) tells the story of Betty, an aspiring actress new to the Hollywood scene who tries to help amnesiac Rita rediscover her identity following a mysterious car crash. Someone appears to be chasing Rita, and mobsters and movie directors might be involved too--what's really going on? Layers of reality unravel in classic Lynch-ian fashion as identities and dreams are deconstructed with tragic results.   The first episode of July's David Lynch season gives us the chance to talk about a genuine cinematic masterpiece, the joy of David Lynch's work on-screen and his real life persona, cows by the side of the road, DVD insert red herrings and, of course, dreams of snail penises.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?  

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 270...and If she were any quieter, she'd be dead!   Sleepaway Camp (1983) follows the teenage Angela on her first trip away to Camp Arawak, several years after losing her father and brother in a terrible speedboat accident. Soon after their arrival, strange and fatal events being to befall the workers and guests of Camp Arawak. Are these mere accidents, or is Angela hiding a sinister secret?   We talk about one of the most surprising--and as it turns out, interesting--endings in the history of horror movies, the complex gender politics of what appears to be a by-the-numbers slasher, and spend a surprising amount of time discussing The Sopranos, Napoleon and Bartleby, the Scrivener.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: it certainly will be a nice little surprise when Richar

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 269...and Allow me to tell you a little bit about my wormhole. I was born in a sandwich hat, and I wolf many cabbages.   M3gan (2022) tells the story of Gemma, a roboticist at a toy manufacturing company. Gemma becomes guardian to her niece, Cady, following the deaths of Cady's parents. Early in the guardianship she introduces Cady to M3gan, an experimental android toy that could be any child's best friend - but let's be honest, it's probably not going to end well.   We discuss ethics in AI; Asimovian ideals; legal precedents for toy manufacturers getting it wrong; and Chris wonders how his foot would fare against several inches of titanium.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: That's what spontaneous response is. It's a curated word salad plucked from a sea of data to

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 268...and Life is fleeting. Life is short, too short. So you gotta use every moment.   Fall (2022) tells the story of Becky, a climbing hobbyist who has descended into a deep depression following the death of her partner one year earlier--no prizes for guessing what happened to him. Becky's friend Hunter knows there's only one thing that can break Becky out of her funk, and that's coercing her into climbing a rickety 2000ft radio tower in the middle of the desert with no support and without telling anyone their plans. What could possibly go wrong?   We discuss an absolutely textbook 'My First Horror' film, a classic tale of bad friends behaving badly, an update on the recent misadventures of YouTubers, and the dignity of stuffing a shoe into your friends abdomen in the name of survival. Plus, an update on our Vertical Limit episode--would Jo

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 267...and kill a few people, they call you a murderer. Kill a million and you're a conqueror.   Cliffhanger (1993) follows a team of mountain rescue rangers, led by the inexplicably muscly and capable Gabe, as they become mixed up in a group of thieves' plot to steal $100m from a US Treasury flight. With suitcases of money scattered across the Colorado Rockies, it's a race against time for Gabe to stop the nefarious Qualen and rescue his mountain climbing buddies.   We discuss a post-Die Hard 90s schlock masterpiece, ask how well it communicates the terror of high places, break down some slightly surprising gender politics and do a deep dive into the question of whether or not Stallone can actually act at all.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Your friend just had the c

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 266...and I've never seen anything so disgusting in all my life.   Scanners (1981) introduces us to Cameron Vale, a down-on-his-luck vagrant who unintentionally causes a seizure in a woman using the power of his mind. Captured by the mysterious ConSec, Cameron is brought into the murky world of Scanners, people with unusual telepathic and telekinetic abilities, only to find himself under threat from the nefarious Revok, a man unafraid to use his abilities to produce head-splattering results.   We discuss a somewhat disappointing Cronenberg entry, unflattering comparisons to Marvel films and Neil Breen, ponder the best tactics for capturing mind-control warriors and ask ourselves whether the best way to introduce yourself to someone is to essentially torture them from the get-go.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 265...and the television screen is the retina of the mind's eye.    Videodrome (1983) tells the story of slimy TV executive Max Renn, who specialises in digging up obscure softcore pornography and bloody violence to broadcast to the feverish masses on his cable TV station. But, when Max comes into contact with the extreme and nightmarish violence of Videodrome, things begin to unravel, leading to hallucinations, BDSM-infused re-enactments and the transference of violent media into violent reality.   We discuss chest wound gun holsters, a prescient depiction of the anxieties and effects of violent media, dig into the most thematically-packed 90 minute movies we’ve ever seen, unpick a gory special effects masterclass and ponder whether, if you want to stop someone investigating something, whether it’s a good idea to give them loads of information t

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 264...and it's your coffin, my love. Enjoy it. Most of us never get to know what it feels like.   Interview With The Vampire (1994) spins a century-spanning yarn of epic proportions, following the listless slave plantation owner Louis de Pointe du Lac, as he is bitten and transformed into an immortal creature by vampire Lestat de Lioncourt. Much like a new parent, an apparently endless future of night feeds causes Louis to have an existential crisis lasting decades as he stands and morosely observes various comings and goings across New Orleans, Paris and San Francisco, eventually relating this to a journalist in the modern day for our pleasure(?).   It’s a bloody diet of ham and mince as Brad Pitt sulks, Tom Cruise camps it up and a 10-year old Kirsten Dunst steals the show, in what is an unusual and somewhat misguided and often boring Vampiric

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 263...and it's actually a pretty cool place… if you're a Martian!   The Lost Boys (1987) puts us into the youth culture hotbed of 1980s Santa Clara, the supposed 'murder capital' of the United States. To the newly arrived Michael and Sam Emerson the summer presents opportunities of new beginnings, new friends and new hobbies which, for Michael at least, means things like riding motorbikes, hanging from bridges, floating uncontrollably and drinking blood from an ornate ceremonial glass.   If that all sounds like a classic case of vampirism then you're not alone, and Sam enlists the help of local vampire hunters Edgar and Alan Frog to kill the lead vampire and cure his brother. All good, normal stuff.   We oil ourselves up and strut our stuff, saxophones in hand, to break down a beloved vampire cult classic; namecheck Coreys Feldman and Haim

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 262...and All you people are so scared of me. Most days I'd take that as a compliment. But it ain't me you gotta worry about now.   Pitch Black (2000) tells the story of a group of spaceship crash survivors. Among them, the fearsome criminal maniac, Riddick. They promptly realise that the planet is inhabited by creatures that attack in the darkness. And unfortunately the planet is about to experience its first triple-eclipse in two decades. But luckily Riddick can see in the dark.... (honestly it's not as bad as it sounds...)   Join us as we outline the value of being nice and of ignoring compasses; query the evolutionary direction of an alien race; and stress the importance of not flying through meteorites after a meteorite-related crash.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for su

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 261...and I guess charisma and eyeliner go a long way.   The Butterfly Effect (2003) tells the story of Evan, a college student who suffered from blackouts during traumatic moments in his childhood. When reading an old diary, he discovers he can travel back into his younger self during the blackouts, and even change what happened, radically altering his future reality. Can he engineer the perfect life, or will the flap of Evan's teenage wings cause disastrous metaphorical hurricanes for him and his loved ones?   We discover the downside of revisiting an adolescent favourite, discuss the best way to approach an explosive device, outline the importance of choosing not to murder people and, most crucially, talk about why reading a traumatic diary entry makes for a terrible precursor to a one night stand.   All of which leads to one question:

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 260...and we're not as nihilistic as we look on the internet. That's just what we want you to think.   Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) tells the story of Bee, who attends a 'hurricane party' at the home of her girlfriend's friends. During a game of 'bodies bodies bodies' (a game similar to murder in the dark), one of the friends is killed for real. What ensues is a treat for horror / thriller / comedy fans everywhere.   We discuss the best ways to combat a bad drug experience; the merits of sleeping in a car; and whether we have in fact become old.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: The best defence is a good offence.   Next time, it's I'm 14 and this is Deep Season, with The Butterfly Effect.   Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 259...and you don't think they're going to find them, do you?   The Black Phone (2022) tells the story of Finney and Gwen, brother and sister living in a 1970s Denver suburb. Children have been disappearing, and people live in fear of The Grabber, the mysterious individual that could be responsible. When Finney is kidnapped, he finds he is able to communicate with The Grabber's previous victims through a magical phone. Meanwhile, Gwen's supernatural abilities could hold the key to finding Finney before it's too late. Sounds like a Stephen King novel, you say? You must be Joe King.   We unpack a high-quality My First Horror movie that ably walks the tightrope of nastiness, discuss the best tactics for escaping a vehicle on foot, break down the safety features of 1970s freezers, and wonder whether this film features the most incompetent police

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's Boxing Day, and there's a mole at the very top of The Circus...   No, it's not a strange sequel to Wind in the Willows... Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011) tells the story of George Smiley and all his friends as he tries to work out which one of them is a traitor, working under the pay of the KGB. (Smiley, it should be noted, is a member of the British Foreign Intelligence service, and it's generally quite bad when a member of the service is selling secrets to the Soviets).   We discuss the risks of falling in love; the benefits of being likeable; and the merits of mistrusting anything that's too good to be true.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   This film was chosen by our Patron, Steve. If you want to help us decide the films we cover, head to Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod and sign up to unlock bonus episodes, early l

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's Christmas Eve, and that can only mean one thing...the Coca-Cola Santa is just a hoax.   Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) tells the story of a group of researchers who, while drilling into a mountain in Lapland, make an incredible and terrifying discovery that rewrites everything we know about Father Christmas. Can a nearby group of Reindeer farmers and their children save the day in time for Christmas?   We discuss a festive horror favourite that turns out to be a surprisingly heartfelt Christmas treat, a classic tale of Father Son bonding, question the gun safety of Lapland Reindeer farmer families and the hiring practices of Father Christmas zealots.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   This film was chosen by two of our lovely patrons - Kate and Moin. If you want to help us decide the films we cover, head to Pat

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 258...and please don’t say 'mouth feel.'   The Menu (2022) follows Margot on a dinner date with Tyler to the exclusive island restaurant Hawthorne. Hawthorne is a tasting menu experience designed by its reclusive and obsessive head chef Julian Slowik. The theme of Slowik's menus only make sense once you finish the final course, but it seems as though some of the diners might not make it that far.   We discuss a film serving up several courses-worth of delights, break down the key ingredients of a horror movie dinner scene, discuss the dishes we'd cook under pressure, and unravel the mysterious meanings of Slowik's dining experience as a whole.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: There are NO substitutions at Hawthorne!   Next time, it's time for a festive treat that is

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.   It's episode 257...and after you've taken everything, what will be left?   The Feast (2021) tells the story of a Welsh family who are hosting a dinner party for their neighbours and a business associate. Catering support is provided by Cadi, a local girl, who seems weighed down by some secret and confused by the actions of the family preparing for their party. Eventually, things take a turn, and let's leave it at that.   We talk about serving food on appropriate crockery; how to time a business proposition; and the appropriate amount of time to overlook someone's inexplicable muteness.   All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?   Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: My parents are so full-on so intense. If I don't take something before long, I might kill them.   Next time, food season continues with The Menu.   Get in touch