Blank Check With Griffin & David

Want to hear us talk about how hot Mark Ruffalo is for two hours? Oooh boy, do we have a treat for you! Wikipedia-cited “In The Cut” stan Jourdain Searles joins us to unpack Jane Campion’s unjustly maligned erotic thriller. What happens to actresses once they turn 40? Would this movie have fared better with audiences if - instead of America’s Sweetheart Meg Ryan - it starred an edgier Nicole Kidman as originally planned? Do you remember the SCANDAL when Meg Ryan cheated on Dennis Quaid with Russell Crowe? Why did we care so much about that?  Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

Is it nobler to try to pee on camera and fail than it is to not try at all? Does Harvey Keitel’s performance in this film only work when he puts on a dress? What the hell is going on in this movie?! David’s Fest Friend Forever Kyle Buchanan (author of the forthcoming “Blood, Sweat & Chrome: The Wild and True Story of Mad Max: Fury Road”) joins us to answer those questions and more as we discuss Jane Campion’s bugnuts exploration of power dynamics - 1999’s “Holy Smoke!” Come for the Winslet career breakdown, stay for Kyle’s “amazeballs” anecdotes about Campion on the international festival circuit. Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

This lady might not be “on fire” but she IS wearing a 19 inch corset! Social media maven Marie Bardi joins the boys to dissect Campion’s tepidly received follow-up to “The Piano” - the emotionally claustrophobic 1996 Henry James adaptation “The Portrait of a Lady”. If “The Piano” gave Jane her Blank Check, this film is a big swing and (in our opinion) a slight miss. Topics discussed include: John Malkovich’s clothing line for the modern dandy; the unfortunate plastic surgery-shaming of actress Barbara Hershey; Viggo Mortsenson’s performance in “Green Book” (one of our favorite topics);  and, of course, the queen of AMC Theaters herself - Nicole Kidman. Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

Just imagine…it’s 1993. Bill Clinton is in the White House, Seinfeld is on TV, and America has PIANO FEVER! Newly-minted member of the Five Timers Club Esther Zuckerman joins us to unpack Campion’s Oscar-Winning erotic drama (possibly the first prestige pic to feature mild butt play). We’re asking all the tough questions: is “The King’s Daughter” the new “Margaret”? Should Harvey Keitel play Wolverine? Did Sam Neill tell Anna Paquin that he was going to work with actual dinosaurs after their shoot? Does Mr. Skin have a film critic on staff?  Check out Esther's new book Beyond the Best Dressed: A Cultural History of the Most Glamorous, Radical, and Scandalous Oscar Fashion Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

Dana Stevens (Slate.com / Her new Buster Keaton biography “Cameraman”) returns to the pod to *literally* wax poetic about the literary coming-of-age story “An Angel At My Table”. The film is an intimate, often heartbreaking saga of a woman discovering her own creative voice…and yes, the woman just happens to look like Little Orphan Annie. The gang discusses the film within the context of other films that show age progression through the casting of multiple actors; the context of films that depict mental illness; and the context of small redheaded children with very curly, almost spherical hair, who may or may not have hard knock lives. Plus - possibly our most obscure box office game yet, and some genuine Janet Frame poetry reading! Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

We’ve climbed up in our childhood treehouse and we’re not coming down! Sarah Violet Bliss (Search Party) joins us to talk about “Sweetie” - Jane Campion’s off-kilter meditation on suburbia and sibling rivalry. Revelations within the episode include the fact that David was part of the “Neighbours Society” at Uni (a group of students in favor of airing the Aussie soap in common areas twice daily); that one of the IMDB tags for this movie is “Rides A Man Like A Horse”; that Producer Ben has *definitely* known a few Sweetie-types in his life; and more!  Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

We’re kicking off our Jane Campion miniseries with her feature-length debut, auspiciously titled “Two Friends” - perhaps she has a competitive advantage? The backwards-structured script (the OG temporal pincer movement) leads the crew to reflect on their own adolescence…did you know David was already six feet tall at the age of twelve? And Ben was rocking size twelve shoes in middle school? Griffin may get a singular chest hair in 2022? Come for our Campion-filmography table setting, stay for a surprising amount of Simpsons discussion. Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

Happy New Year! We’re going back to the Matrix - which we last covered in 2016 (!!) - and we’re feeling pretty good about it! Seraph was a login screen, sure…but is “Tiffany” a .TIFF? Is Agent Smith just a virus? Are we taking crazy pills for liking this movie so much? Jack in and let’s fly, Blankies. Opening clip is from Howl's Moving Castle with David Ehrlich Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

They said it couldn’t be done. Remaking possibly the most revered movie musical of all time?! A fool’s errand! But folks, we’ve learned a very important lesson…NEVER DOUBT STEVEN SPIELBERG. Especially when he’s teaming up with Tony “Dank” Kushner! David pinpoints the exact moments he wept during his multiple viewings of this most recent iteration of “West Side Story”; Ben praises all the dust and hot people; Griffin thinks that he probably needs to see it again. Grab your dancing shoes and meet us at the gym - it’s our final episode of 2021, and it’s time to MAMBO, Blankies!   Plus, check out the Slow Xmas 2021 holiday music compilation now on Spotify and Bandcamp! Please support the bands/artists featured on this album. Andrew Bryant Spotify Apple Music Bandcamp YouTube Website Twitter Instagram Ian Ferguson Spotify Apple Music Bandcamp Website Gymshorts Spotify (band) Spotify (Sarah Greenwell's solo project Greeensleeves) Apple Music Bandcamp Greenway Records Twitter Instagram (band) Instagram (solo)

Alert the horny police, because we’re taking ourselves to a nunnery with the Dirty Dutch Daddy himself - Paul Verhoeven! The gang goes bonkers for “Benedetta'', and Producer Ben-edetta reveals that he has an almost-saint in his family - one more miracle, and Ben gets to go to the Vatican! We discuss the connections between “Benedetta” and Verhoeven’s previous films (Sister Benedetta is a bit of a Catherine Trammell, and not just because she likes the ladies), do a smelly deep dive into the history of Professional Flatulists, and say a few prayers asking God to let Verhoeven make a big Hollywood movie again. Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

We’ve spent four months in the Mouth of Madness with the Horror Master, and we’ve reached the end point of Carpenter’s directorial career...for now. A man who has *actually collaborated with John Carpenter* - Drew McWeeny (writer of Carpenter’s installments in the Masters of Horror series) - joins us to recontextualize our journey through Carpenter’s filmography with some exclusive behind-the-scenes tidbits. The Two Friends also discuss the strange career trajectory of Amber Heard (starting with the festival-smash-that-doesn’t-exist ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE), present their final Carpenter rankings, and reveal which Auteur they’ll cover on the podcast next. Plus - Ben learns the fun British term “video nasty” from David who grew up in England? Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

Contrary to popular belief (and Wikipedia), this film was NOT supposed to be another installment in the Snake Plissken series - John Carpenter just thought it would be cool to make a movie about Mars “because it’s red.” Galaxy Brain’s Dave Schilling and Jonah Ray join us to dissect Carpenter’s take on that dusty red planet, his obsession with crossfades, and his lackluster deployment of Pam Grier. Why *is* Mars a matriarchal society in this movie? We thought Mars needed moms… Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

They’re not just Vampires, they’re John Carpenter’s Vampires!  “Closer in patina” to a classic Howard Hawks western than anything Carpenter’s ever done, this film is nasty, gruesome, and devoid of any of the “teenyboppers” and romanticism that had become hallmarks of the slasher and vampire genres, respectively. David Ehrlich (Indiewire) joins us as we go deep into the woods - James Woods, that is - and come out with the least memorable Baldwin brother. Strada Chocolata! Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

Less of a sequel and more of a “next gen video game re-skin,” Snake Plissken is back in “Escape from LA” and this time he’s got a surfboard! The “Gourley and Rust” guys join us to ponder whether or not a big budget is actually *bad* for John Carpenter. On the one hand, we get a Carp, Kurt, and Debra Hill reunion! On the other…those submarine sequences. Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

It’s not “Children of the Damned” nor “Children of the Corn” nor “Corn of the Damned” - it’s John Carpenter’s “Village of the Damned,” goddamnit! Creepy blonde kids with laser eyes! Our guest Amy Nicholson’s (“Unspooled”) boyfriend thinks she looks like one of them. Griffin thinks David’s baby has “Village of the Damned” eyes, too. But is this movie actually scary enough? “Needs more menace!” per Ben. Topics covered include the Razzies, formative cinematic crushes, Christopher Reeve’s star persona, and a Chuck Norris movie that has him teaming up with a dog to take down an alliance of White Supremacist groups.  Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

Just in time for Halloween - it’s the conclusion of Carpenter’s “Apocalypse Trilogy” and one of the best Lovecraftian horrors ever to grace the silver screen! Vulture’s Angelica Jade Bastién joins us to chat “In the Mouth of Madness,” and we wonder - is Sam Neill a “dang ass freak”? Should this movie take place in a more “airport paperback” environment, like a beach town? What would you do if you saw the head of production at New Line getting…uh… “serviced” in public at an Oscar party? Grab your Sutter Cane book and listen up! Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

In which we try to find the John Carpenter in what is overwhelmingly a Chevy Chase vanity project. The legendary Alan Sepinwall (Rolling Stone) joins us to make sense of this befuddling genre mishmash. What are the invisibility rules of this movie? Who is the silver-voiced British man named “Richard” and is that his real voice? Is Chevy Chase good at acting? Does it matter? In this movie…yeah, it kind of does! We’re sad to see the Carpenter hot streak end with this movie, but that’s what Blank Check is all about - the bounces, baby! Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

Don’t adjust your sunglasses - it’s another epic crossover podcast! The Doughboys join #TheTwoFriends to tackle Carpenter’s still-relevant anti-capitalist alien action classic. Is “Rowdy” Roddy Piper the greatest wrestler-turned-actor? Who actually wrote the iconic bubblegum line? Which hard seltzer is the best and why is it White Claw Surge? And yes, of course we have to talk about that iconic fight scene. Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

Every filmmaker gets one “Satan in a jar in a basement” movie and this is John Carpenter’s! Keith Phipps (The Next Picture Podcast) joins us to chat “the anti-God,” fictional British scientist Bernard Quatermass, and young David Sims’ humble beginnings as an “It’s Always Sunny” recapper at the AVClub. The boys also establish that Ben loves “wet evil” and that the special effects makeup artist on PRINCE OF DARKNESS also worked with Griffin on DRAFT DAY!  Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com

You know what ol’ Jack Burton would do on an episode like this? Bring back Jason Mantzoukas and Paul Scheer, of course! The HOW DID THIS GET MADE? guys make their triumphant return to Blank Check to discuss yet another Kurt Russell masterpiece, and lament the lack of Russell-esque stars in today’s Hollywood landscape. There’s some John Landis slander and a shout-out to Kit Fisto - this episode TRULY has everything! Join our Patreon at patreon.com/blankcheck Follow us @blankcheckpod on Twitter and Instagram! Buy some real nerdy merch at shopblankcheckpod.myshopify.com