Balls Radio

The Corona Virus is largely contained in China with an antidote just around the corner, or it’s the start of the Zombie Apocalypse. Today Balls Radio suggests the reality is somewhere in between. More people are likely to die I the UK if legislation is passed allowing motorised scooters. Richard Kazimer joins Phil Dobbie to pursue his favourite pastime of denigrating Donald Trump, this time focusing on his claim to be the saviour of the blue collar worker, during his speech at Davos last week.

Two great controversies have emerged this week. First that whole thing about Huawei. The UK has defied President Trump’s demands to have nothing to do with them, yet still hopes for a good trade deal after Brexit. What was the UK government thinking? Then there’s the punctuation on the new Brexit 50 pence coin – let’s call it a Bretcoin. It’s missing a comma, apparently. Who proofreads this stuff?

Balls Radio is back! Today Phil Dobbie discusses the jingoism around Brexit day this Friday and hoiw the basic stumbling block of Brexit – the border – remains unsolved. Who do we believe o the need for border checks across the Irish Sea – the EU or BoJo? We’ll find out by the weekend. Plus, the government pledges to reopen a railway line to Fleetwood. Is that instead of the HS2?

In the 1960s movie Village of the Damned all the women of an English village simultaneously gave birth to identical blonde children, bent on taking over the world. Today, two blondes, Boris Johnson and Donald Trump, have similar ambitions, with a similar dishevelled appearance. Now Boris is stacking his new, uber-right cabinet, with blondes too. Obviously, we can’t count Sajid Javid because he doesn’t have any hair at all. On Balls Radio Phil Dobbie draws the parallel between Village of the Damned and the nightmare government leading us to a Halloween Brexit.

Rory Stewart is standing out as a Tory moderate which is possibly a but unfashionable these days. But he seems to have caught the attention of the centre ground. Could he be the surprise outsider who becomes the next Prime Minister. Or will it be Boris who will tell the occasional joke, whilst systematically destroying the country? Is he the PM represented by Emma Thompson in the BBC’s Years and Years. Plus, Phil Dobbie suggests ideas for Fathers Day.

Tory candidates just submit their nominations for the plum job of Prime Minister today. Phil Dobbie looks at the promises of a few of them. Will Michael Gove survive past day one? What about Boris Johnson’s tax cut for the rich. Phil Dobbie also suggests a simpler tax system that does away with income tax altogether. And there are some REAL NUMBERS to address those who are downplaying the significance of a Hard Brexit. Plus, a trade deal with the US – Balls radio looks at how that worked out for Australia.

How many times have you heard Brexiteers claiming everyone knew what they were voting for. That leaving without a deal was always the preferred option. In today’s Balls Radio Phil Dobbier digs deep on a survey that Nigel Farage has been quoting from to show how well he expects the Brexit party to do if there was a general election. What he didn’t tell us was the survey shows only one in four people want to leave without a deal, and not even his own voters are convinced.

On Balls Radio today Phil Dobbie suggests someone parks a Go Home van outside No. 10 – one of the vans used to tell migrants to leave. It seems only fair. So will she leave today – or will she just set out the steps to determining a timetable that can be used to prepare a plan for her eventually leaving date? The decision probably won’t rest with her – listen in to find out how you can tell when you are not wanted any more, and more about the small village in Berkshire that she will be returning to.

President Trump’s Project Fear over Huawei has seen Google pulling out of future Android updates for Huawei phones. A genuine security concern or just another piece of America’s growing protectionism? Also today, Phil Dobbie asks how does someone who looks like Ned Flanders become the most dangerous man in the world? And happy birthday to John Stuart Mill. Who?

On today’s Balls Radio Phil Dobbie discusses the axing of the Jeremy Kyle show, the latest on Brexit talks and the state of UK politics, plus Donald Trump’s trade war and a happy birthday shout out to Madeleine Albright.

Donald Trump is threatening a 25% tariff on practically everything it imports from the US. On today’s Balls Radio, Phil Dobbie highlights how twisted the logic of Trumponomics has become. Plus, was Nigel Farage right to be outraged by his treatment on the Andrew Marr programme yesterday. And a police investigation into Danny Baker’s tweet – really?

It’s a shame that a tweet likening a royal baby to a performing monkey is seen as being racist. What could have been a nuanced debate about privilege is destroyed by a simplified view that, because the royal baby comes from mixed-race heritage, the tweet was intended to be racist. In today’s Balls Radio Phil Dobbie asks whether we can have any discussion these days without outraged people taking to Twitter. Meanwhile, Brexit yet again demonstrates the flaws of democracy. Do you realise just how few sitting days there are till the end of October deadline?

It’s VE day today – commemorating the end of the war in Europe. But could President Trump’s heavy handedness over Iran be leading us into World War 3? Phil Dobbie looks at that development on Balls Radio today. Plus, is Nigel Farage keeping bad company. Phil argues that at times he talks sense, but then he goes and spews shite with Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist who said the Sandy Hook massacre never happened. The grieving parents we saw on TV were all trained actors. Would you accept an invite to appear on his radio show after that? Plus, the age-old question, will Theresa May ever go? Perhaps we need Donald to organise a regime change.

Theresa May will be rejoicing the arrival of the Royal baby, because it takes the focus away from the lack of progress on Brexit talks. The UN will be a little disappointed though – that overpopulation is devastating the planet. The 1,800 page report that they hoped would spur world leaders into action seems to have got lost in the news cycle, as one more child – who will no doubt leave a huge ecological footprint – adds to the problem. Phil Dobbie discusses it all on today’s Balls Radio.

The Tory party has been decimated in the local elections. Labour aren’t faring too well either. The destruction could have been worse if it wasn’t for a severe lack of choice. The real demonstration of disquiet will come from the European elections. At least the people of Fleet had a choice – they could have voted for a Monster Raving Loony councillor in the form of Howling ‘Laud’ Hope. He suggests voting for ‘none of the above’ – maybe that needs to be the name for a new political party. The new third force in British politics.

If Gavin Williamson really did leak state secrets, however inconsequential they were, shouldn’t he be tried with treason and sent to the Tower? Balls Radio also looks at the revamp of Facebook, included a new function that could see the number of extra marital affairs mushroom. Good time to be a lawyer. But if you want a job that pays well but doesn’t require you to do much, become the Governor of the Bank of England. They meet today to discuss interest rates, but will do nothing and say even less.

It looks like attempts at a leadership overthrowal in Venezuela haven’t moved too far. Balls Radio asks who benefits the most from unrest in this part of the world, particularly if it pushes up oil prices? Plus, can Apple make it as a services provider. The markets seem buoyed by their latest earnings results, even though the numbers were down, but is it based on false hope? And Labour is ignoring the opportunity to force another vote on Brexit. If they did, they would cream it in the European elections. And happy birthday to the Empire State Building.

On the anniversary of Hitler’s alleged death – he actually lives in Basingstoke - the cold war reaches dizzying heights as Russia is accused on using Beluga Whales to spy on us. Phil Dobbie suggests this is a major threat, because they only haver 66 submarines but there are 80,000 Beluga Whales. He also discusses the shortfall in Alphabet earnings, because of Google’s massive fine in Europe, and how the US are threatening not to share intelligence with us if we let Huawei help build our5G network. But there again, the President doesn’t share intelligence with anyone.

Who will be next to declare a climate emergency. Jeremy Corbyn and Nicola Sturgeon are already in there? But what will they do about it? A referendum perhaps? Plus, will a Tory and Labour annihilation put the pressure on a deal before the EU elections. And we announce the winner of the next Eurovision Song Contest. You heard it here first.

We can expect a cabinet resignation today over leaks from the National Security Council. Phil Dobbie suggests, like at school, the culprit should own up or the whole class gets detention. Also, the man so incompetent he even failed as a suicide bomber. And the fire at Port Talbot – were they hoping for the same reaction as the Notre Dame? We’re stil waiting for the pledges from wealthy benefactors.