1, 2, Many: Veteran Suicide With Timothy Lawson

Tim answers a question from Quora: What is the “one thing” that causes American military veterans to commit suicide?

One day a friend of mine will die. Later, another will die. Death is something that we as a species are cursed with knowing. Each death will be sad, but I hope to limit the amount of deaths that bring regret. Not just the regret of wishing we said more or spent more time, but a regret of knowing I had missed an opportunity to really do something with that person. I love my friends. I do not have any siblings and did not grow up around my cousins. So, with two working parents, my friends quickly became my family. My friends have had a tremendous impact on my life. To finish this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/41

Navy veteran Tory Utz joins Tim this week. Tory shares her story of suicidal behavior and what drove her to attempt five different times.

Tim answers a question brought to him during a presentation: What if we gave recruits pre-entry therapy to nurture mental and emotional health risks?

“Wait, how did he know that?” This was the immediate response from a student at The Washington Center last night after his classmate correctly answered my question on the number of veteran suicides per day. I was surprised – not that someone knew the answer but at the challenge to his quick response. I feel like the scale of the crisis, 22 per day, is common knowledge, but I guess not everyone knows. To me, veteran suicide awareness is booming. I see it all over Facebook and all over Twitter. There are groups and hashtags, events and fundraisers, books, and so much more spotlighting the crisis of suicide among veterans. To finish the post, go to One2ManyProject.com/38

My friend Corey joins me this week to discuss investigating suicides and how to address the epidemic inside the veteran space.

This week Tim takes a different approach to the question “What can I do to help?” There’s also a song by Chadd Downing.

Find empathy. Discover renewed purpose. Gain mentorship. Know you matter. Those are the main points in any of my presentations and they are common themes across this project. They make sense to both veterans and non-veterans. When it comes to true suicide prevention, I believe these to be key. I’ve noticed a lot of people view mentorship as this sacred bond they feel between themselves and a person with eternal wisdom 20 years their elder. If that’s a situation you find, then that’s great. Most people can’t find perfect personal mentors. At least, not ones that look perfect on paper. In some communities, it may be difficult to discover a proper fit for you all together. I live in a metropolitan area, so I’m surrounded by opportunities to acquire personal and business mentors. I recognize that many of us do not have these same resources. However, we do all have access to virtual mentors. To finish this post, go to One2ManyProject.com/35

What do you do to avoid the cycle of depression?

“I read your post the other day.” I hear that often now. Usually it gets followed up with “I thought it was good” or “I’m impressed” or “I think it’s so important that you’re doing this.” Sometimes people are referring to one of the stories shared on Monday. Usually though, they comment on the discovery of Momentary Reflections. Episode One was easy for me. It was just another story. It was a time in my past that I’m willing to talk about. Those moments in history that can make us feel vulnerable become liberating once we share it with someone we trust. I trust all of you. I want you to trust me. A few weeks after the project started, I began writing these short essays. It is my way of getting more material out and allowing myself a time to process my feelings on this subject. It has forced me to be more transparent with everyday life. To finish the post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/33

Andy Weiss joins Timothy Lawson to tell his son’s story. Andy has a lot to say about his son’s service and his passing.

Tim answers a question given to him through his website. “What do you do when you’re in that state of mind?” Have a question for Tim? Ask here: One2ManyProject.com/ask

I got into another one of my “funks” recently. This past weekend, I became frustrated with life and started feeling guilty about the past. I’m sure this is something many of you can resonate with. I want to reiterate a couple points I’ve been making in these momentary reflections: none of this is a quick fix and it is something you’ll battle more than once after you “recover.” I still struggle with these emotional issues. I’m able to better identify what is going on now, as I mentioned in a previous post, but I still get sucked into the quicksand of doubt, guilt, shame, and woe. For those of you keeping score at home, you noticed there wasn’t an episode released on Monday. I couldn’t collect my thoughts well enough to finish it and I didn’t want to release something that was forced. I also didn’t want to release a message that supported an idea that I was not implementing myself. There’s a great story about Gandhi (taken from James Altucher’s blog): A woman walks with her son many miles and days to come to Ga

Tim gets asked about nonprofits and veteran organizations all the time. He’s mentioned a few in past episodes, but he touches on the four he recommends supporting the most on this week’s show.

I separated from the Marine Corps on September 14, 2011. Like most Marines, I was ready for the relief. I was also nervous. I thought I had a good plan, but I was wrong. A lot has transpired in three years. Since getting out of the Marine Corps, I’ve been fired from two jobs and quit one. The last job I was fired from was over coffee I wasn’t authorized to drink. I had a motorcycle stolen from me. It was my only mode of transportation at the time and was stolen days before I was hired to a job that would soon fire me. While I had good coverage, my insurance company informed me that I did not have the right coverage for theft. I was not compensated and had to finance a new vehicle so that I could get myself to my new job. Since getting out of the Marine Corps, I’ve changed universities three times and changed degree programs another three times. I lost a good friend over my own insensitivity and a misunderstanding. We still don’t talk. To finish the post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/28

This week Marine veteran and double amputee Chris Van Etten joins Tim Lawson to talk about his struggles with PTSD and a time he considered suicide. The explosion that took Chris’ legs also took one of his friends. This created an understandable sense of survivor’s guilt. While he hasn’t attempted suicide, it is definitely something that has crossed his mind. I always enjoy my conversations with Chris because he is candid and honest. I appreciate his insight on the importance of empathy, purpose, and mentorship.  Chris has become a fitness model and has been able to use his experiences to his advantage. If you’re interested in learning more about his story and career, you can follow him onTwitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

This week Tim answers the question: Why would anyone listen to this podcast?

I rolled into the weekend without a story ready to release on Monday. Sunday evening came, and I hadn’t made any progress. I woke up Monday morning worrying about getting it done. By the time it was 5pm, I just wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t in a good space and I didn’t want to force anything. All I needed to do was record my thoughts on the story, but I just couldn’t collect myself. I made an announcement that there would be no story this week and moved on. I woke up this morning knowing I should still release a “Momentary Reflections” post.  I had a few in the queue and was wondering which post was best for this week. The problem was I woke up later than usual since I couldn’t motivate myself out of bed and still had some academic work that needed to be done (that didn’t get done either). I have been in a funk for the past few days. To finish this post, listen to the podcast or go to One2ManyProject.com/25

Where is the activism for veteran suicide?

It wasn’t our weak hand. There was nothing weak about a Marine. My left hand was my support hand. It wasn’t as strong as my right hand, but it could still accomplish tasks. It seems like semantics, but it truly changed the way I thought about my left hand. I no longer avoided using it during certain tasks, but instead I became selective with how I used it. My right hand still reached for my firearm, my baton, and my pepper spray, but my left grabbed my handcuffs and assisted me in detaining a subject. My first job out of the Marine Corps was Loss Prevention at Macy’s. I was not thrilled with it, but I remember in my interview my employer asked me about my “opportunities.” I was confused. He followed up with a brief explanation. He considered the flaws, downfalls, and weaknesses of a person’s character to be “opportunities.” To him, these opportunities were areas of our lives that had the most opportunity to improve. At first, I thought it was cheesy, and I occasionally scoffed at the idea, but he made a good