Dull Crayons

Happy Holiday’s from the Dullest. We bring you warm tidings and discussions of farts, maths, and the immorality of our newest co-host, Eric Danger--brought to you by Subaru. Also, fake news and fake approaches to combat it, the truth is not true, and when is zero actually fifty. Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/dullcrayons Follow #dullcrayons Keep Dull and Carry Snacks

Gabriel goes solo for the first time to bring you the dullest episode yet, just in time for everyone’s favorite federal holiday: Fight Your Family Day! In this episode: Bill Gates talks shit, the scouts go to war, Heathers takes a Plan-B, and homeschool moms bitch about missing book club. It’s a shit-ton o’ fun. Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/dullcrayons Follow #dullcrayons Keep Dull and Carry Snacks

Gabriel is scammed into a ‘gram museum and explains his stingy rules of IG etiquitte; Diana give us the hard, girthy D and travel tips. Also, are you a helicopter, tiger, elephant, free-range, or lawn-mower parent? And are these things any more real than your zodiac sign? Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/dullcrayons Follow #dullcrayons Keep Dull and Carry Snacks

Episode 35A: Rockstar Teachers Rat on their Kids Stuff you shouldn’t say to your kid's teacher, Steeped-in-glue Miller eats his boogers, and Gabriel and Diana geek out really hard post snack report. Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com
Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/dullcrayons 
Follow #dullcrayons Keep Dull and Carry Snacks

Gabriel goes on a rant about Montessori being education Nazis as Molin gets booted from preschool; Molin takes us through the verses of the Doritos Bible while Gabriel drinks benadryl. Plus a gosh and fetch update from Molin, a look inside Germany’s education system and the notion of openly tracking students, and shouts out to Kate Wagner and Mcmansion Hell. You’re doing it big, Kate! http://mcmansionhell.com/ https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/8/6/17654434/betsy-devos-yacht-mcmansion-hell Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com
Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/dullcrayons
Follow #dullcrayons Keep Dull, Carry Snacks

An August ep posted in October. Please forgive us if you missed the Creed Bratton bobblehead at the Cyclones game. They're available for resale starting at $35.00. #minorleague #alldressed #texassucks #IDEA #minorityreport

Episode 32: Resumes and Risk-Takers Polish up your resumes folks: we’ve got some jobs you’ll want to apply for (+ $900,000 and benfits). Plus we’ve got back to school shopping lists, M.O.P tries on sarcasm for the first time, and Gabriel and Ellen get really impassioned about mental health education—during which Gabriel spontaneously/bashfully opens up about his own history with mental illness—to be discussed further in future episodes All that, and a friend of the show, Tom Kelly, pay report, and the 501(3) C scam across America. Mental health first aid links https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/ https://www1.nyc.gov/site/doh/health/health-topics/mental-health-first-aid.page

***Visit our brand new Patreon page at patreon.com/dullcrayons*** Detroit's in shambles, an army of homeschooled youth is training for the coming religious/race war in their basements, and whisky prices in New York have reached critical mass. All that and more when father of the pod joins us in the bunker. Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/dullcrayons Follow #dullcrayons Keep Dull, Carry Snacks

***Visit our brand new Patreon page at patreon.com/dullcrayons*** It’s back to school time! And what better way to get into the right mindset than to take a trip back to Gabriel’s own kindergarten experiences with mother of the pod, Ellen. But before that, the two must address the decadence of Drake’s celebrity whiskey, the many plights of Colorado public schools, “best friends,” and the vaunted Wonderlic. All that and more on this jam-packed ep!!! Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/dullcrayons Follow #dullcrayons Keep Dull, Carry Snacks

***Visit our brand new Patreon page at patreon.com/dullcrayons*** MoviePass, PRIDE, and of course another history lesson for Gabriel on the topic of Disney. Prepare for this to be your favorite Dazzling Diana ep yet. Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/dullcrayons Follow #dullcrayons Keep Dull, Carry Snacks

***Visit our brand new Patreon page at patreon.com/dullcrayons*** This week we take apart Book Riot's 50 Must Read Preschool Books with the expert help of Dazzling Diana, who also give us the 3 Must-Haves of all Great Podcasts (hint: The Dull ones are killing all three in a big way). But seriously people, a top 50 list and no Kevin Henkes, no Margaret Wise Brown, and not one Gerald and Piggy?! The madness has to stop. Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/dullcrayons Follow #dullcrayons Keep Dull, Carry Snacks

***Visit our brand new Patreon page at patreon.com/dullcrayons*** The boys are in seriously dull form this week as we discuss current heroes and villains of education today, such as LeBron James, Betsy DeVos, and the guy who stole all the McDonald's Monopoly money (spoiler alert, he's the G.O.A.T) Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/dullcrayons IG: archzuger Keep Dull, Carry Snacks

This week, Gabriel and BX Tony review their time spent at the Starbucks racial sensitivity training. Following that, they have some fun with winning words of the national spelling bee and prove once and for all what a 27 Wonderic scorer is truly capable of--like ending a sentence with a preposition. Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com, and follow us at twitter.com/DullCrayons www.facebook.com/dullcrayons IG: archzuger Keep Dull, Carry Snacks

Sincerest apologies, loyal listeners. Turns out changing studios is a much more arduous process than initially anticipated. But rest easy, for we bring you another banger this week. BX Tony joins again to discuss teachers and staffers getting in trouble in the news and to play our newest game: Two Truths and a Rye™ As always, write in at dullcrayons@gmail.com Follow us @dullcrayons on Twitter and Facebook @archzuger on IG

This week we are joined by none other than Mother of the Pod, Ellen, to discuss the never ending nightmare that is Jumanji, candy with a kick, and Ellen's deep rooted passion for all things action figure (admit it mom, you wanted to buy the toys as much as I wanted to have them). Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com, and follow us at twitter.com/DullCrayons www.facebook.com/dullcrayons IG: archzuger Keep Dull, Carry Snacks

This week, mommy and daddy argue about the levels, the college application process, and put down the Triscuit brand for their unevenness. But at least there's one thing we can all agree on: Jenni White should get her head out of her ass. Write us a review on iTunes, contact us at dullcrayons@gmail.com, and follow us at twitter.com/DullCrayons https://www.facebook.com/dullcrayons IG: archzuger Keep Dull, Carry Snacks

Gabriel and Diana geek out over acclaimed children's author, Mo Willems--though not without a hot take or two. (Come on, you know you've thought about it too)

We are once again joined by Dirty Diana, who gives us another lesson on the secret history of Disney, addresses the incipient Carmen Sandiego wildfire, and explains why Mark Summers and Double Dare may just be what the world needs now. Smash that like button, subscribe on your grandparents devices, write in to us at dullcrayons@gmail.com, and follow archzuger on instagram

Reigning Champ and Fruit Fly of the Pod, Dazzling Diana, in studio this week discussing how to be suspended from teaching for yawning, sneezing, and other non-protected bodily functions. Also, we have TOP SECRET information regarding the development of the long awaited Lady Snacks from PepsiCo, straight from out Deep Throat correspondent, Indra Nooyi. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/06/business/lady-doritos-indra-nooyi.html Smash that like button, subscribe on your grandparents devices, write in to us at dullcrayons@gmail.com, and follow archzuger on instagram

Joined by Willy on the Car Phone, we discuss his extensive history in the field of education, and get updated on the wave of teacher strikes and walk-outs happening around the country--all of which are sincerely supported by the pod. Solidarity! Then we go deep on 90's commercials that have taken up space in our brains that would otherwise have gone to cherished memories and first loves. But it's okay, cause what's more important is that we know every word to the Bagel Bites jingle.