Archers Of Horror

We shouldn’t have buried him because Freddy Mania is not dead. This episode we’re sharpening our finger knives, popping on the Ray Bans and hitting the beach to discuss A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4: THE DREAM MASTER.  Is this movie the best of the series?  With a writer’s strike and absent script, Renny Harlin manages to deliver a charismatic, lovable Freddy Krueger with a No Pain No Gain attitude.  We’re riding those waterbed waves high, eating a Rick meatball or two and hopefully becoming one of the souls of his children.  Even if you’re not a Fred Head, this episode guarantees to deliver with tales of Ed’s pet dolphin, sauna shenanigans and a new direction for TOY STORY 5. We’ll see you in hell...and yes, Freddy will be sending us.

Welcome back to the second episode of 30 Minutes or Less where we are facing an absolute classic of our childhood, unfortunately at the beginning of its final season. Does Evie and her motley assortment of friends and family have any time-stopping miracles for us in store or are they all out of tricks? Find out as Rusty, Ed and Po watch the season 4 premiere "New Kid on the Block" guest-starring Mr. T. Yes you read that right, Mr. T was in an episode of "Out of This World"! And don't worry, we play the opening theme quite a bit (which I didn't discover until now is a classic song which Sinatra also recorded?)

Now you're playing with power. T-U-R-T-L-E POWER! We're joined this week by BEYOND THE GATES director Jackson Stewart to talk one of the best comic book movies ever made: TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (1990). I'm not sure that we've ever been as united in our praise for a film as we are with this one, although I'm not sure what that says about us. Along the way we talk about a wide range of turtle topics, like the comics, the cartoon, video games, and all other matters reptilian (yet for some reason always referred to as amphibians?) If you are a TMNT fan, you MUST check this episode out. And if you aren't a TMNT fan, you are no friend of ours, Shred Head! 

Welcome to the first episode of our oft-mentioned sitcom show! Every other week we'll be joined by Po to dissect the television shows of our youth and burn our nostalgia to the ground. We're starting off with an infamous heavy hitter, the Small Wonder episode "Woodward and Bernstein". I think this one is a little more famous than some of our episodes to come because of its shockingly dark plotline. Experience it with us! Next week we'll be talking TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (1990) with Jackson Stewart (BEYOND THE GATES) and the week after that we'll be back with an "Out of this World" episode.

The show is now officially called VIEWMASTERS (formerly known as Archers of Horror) and with our first episode we’re going big by venturing into the netherworld and discussing the 1991 horror comedy film HIGHWAY TO HELL. Hell Cop’s “hand” cuffs won’t be able to restrain us as we attempt to get Kristy Swanson to fav our tweet, try to figure out how exactly to pronounce “DAGOBAH” and if Torrential Snowfall is an acceptable term. Don’t miss this one or BEEZLE claims our souls! Blood Rage Theme cover by Matt Akers as always. Check out his Bandcamp! Our new show about Sitcoms will be debuting on Monday, June 10th. Look for it!

ALERT: Starting with the next episode this podcast will start appearing in your feed as VIEWMASTERS! If you are already subscribed then you don't need to do anything except remember we've moved. With that out of the way, it's time to discuss LADY SNOWBLOOD, Toshiya Fujita's stylish adaptation of Kazuo Koike's classic manga with an unforgettable central performance by Meiko Kaji. Blood Rage Theme cover by Matt Akers as always. It rules. Check out his bandcamp! Our new show about sitcoms will be appearing on off weeks and starts next week. 

It was the Summer of 1987, Alf was coming into prominence, Michael Jackson showed us who’s “Bad” and PREDATOR was all the rage.  It was every kids dream to be Arnold Schwarzenegger or at least do a spot-on impression.  This episode promises to deliver on one of those.  We also tackle all the important questions: Did the Predator have advanced language? Does the Predator have a bidet attachment on his Sat-com? and Can Ed go 20 seconds with Mike Tyson in his prime? Ed also reveals the harrowing details of his most recent date.  How did it go, you ask? Let’s just say he has Nazareth’s “Love Hurts” on heavy rotation.  Opening theme song by Matt Akers. Seriously, check out his Bandcamp! Someone please rate and review this show already -- Yes, we’re still asking.  And be sure to follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast   

People always ask us: which episode of Archers of Horror should I listen to first? Well, here is our new answer, because this episode truly has it all: irrelevant stories, catholic guilt, childhood humiliations and oh yeah we also discuss the best horror film ever made, ROSEMARY'S BABY. And hey it's us talking here so of course we are going to say this, but this is truly a classic episode. Much closer to THE MUTILATOR than to LIFEFORCE (new listeners please know we don't consider that episode canon). Please rate and review, or at least rate, or are you going to make us give away our firstborn child before you do that? Theme song as always by Matt Akers. If you don't follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast I cannot imagine why you are reading this far into the description but check it out. 

On this episode, we’re celebrating the holiday of practical jokes and hoaxes by watching the eponymous 1986 Fred Walton horror-comedy classic APRIL FOOL’S DAY -- and what better way for Muffy/Buffy to celebrate her birthday than to scare the crap out of her closest friends. Will Muffy’s friends forgive her? Are the fortuitous events of this film highly improbable? Does a person really react that way to having their throat slashed by a phony knife? We don’t answer any these questions but we do share some of our own hilarious April Fool’s Day anecdotes.  As always the great BLOOD RAGE theme cover is by Matt Akers. Check out his Bandcamp. Someone rate and review the show. At this point, Ed is really looking for any excuse to shave his head.  Follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast. Pretty much the only social media we still care about.

For our belated St. Patricks Day episode, we are going on a very bleak journey to the cosmos. It's LEPRECHAUN 4: IN SPACE, a movie we never thought we would do and we're still not sure why. Why is he even in space? Is he an alien, or a leprechaun? Why do they blend the already blended DNA in that one scene? As always the great BLOOD RAGE theme cover is by Matt Akers. Check out his bandcamp. We need 5 ratings for Ed to shave his head by next episode. Someone please help. Follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast. 

Why has it taken Archers of Horror 31 episodes to discuss the horror-comedy classic THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD? There are many answers to that but the most convincing one is that Ed’s a bit self-conscious having the same haircut as TARMAN. On this episode we’ll be discussing everyone’s favorite undead characters -- Tarman, the Reanimated Cadaver and of course, Party-Time Skeleton. We also discuss our crush on Trash, how we would want to die and how Ed once stepped in a deceased person’s ashes and so much more. As always the great BLOOD RAGE theme cover is by Matt Akers. Check out his bandcamp. Someone rate and review the show. Just one of you. Follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast. Pretty much the only social media we still care about.

For our 30th episode, we take a look at Rospo Pallenberg’s CUTTING CLASS which would be his only directorial feature. But more importantly, is this the episode where Rusty finally breaks Ed? How many more bad movies can Ed endure?  We also talk cutting actual class, Valentine’s Day binge eating and climbing the rope in gym class.  As always the great BLOOD RAGE theme cover is by Matt Akers. Check out his bandcamp. Someone rate and review the show. Just one of you. Follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast. Pretty much the only social media we still care about. 

Director Adam Egypt Mortimer (DANIEL ISN'T REAL, SOME KIND OF HATE) joins us for a wide-ranging deep dive into the David Cronenberg classic. This is probably our most intellectual episode to date as we delve into sexual repression, violence on film, artistic motifs and the M.A.S.K. Boulder Hill Playset. As always the BLOOD RAGE theme song cover is by Matt Akers. Check out his bandcamp. Particularly recommend the first song on Rage. That song rules! Follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast. 

It's time to talk about CANDYMAN, the iconic Tony Todd-Philip Glass collab and the one big issue Ed has always had with it. We also talk about all kinds of urban legends, how to properly pronounce "Bernard Rose" and working at Adventureland. As always the great BLOOD RAGE theme cover is by Matt Akers. Check out his bandcamp. Someone rate and review the show. Just one of you. Follow us on Instagram @archersofhorrorpodcast. Pretty much the only social media we still care about. 

We're hoping this episode makes a great contribution to SOCIETY as we discuss the still somewhat underseen Brian Yuzna classic. Frequent listeners of the show can probably predict that Rusty finds the shunting erotic and Ed has no memory of the movie. But most importantly please rate and review the podcast. Don't make us beg, people. Because we've already begged and don't wanna do it again. Look, we're still stuck at 66, will one of you please just click five stars right now?! And check out Matt Akers, who composes the BLOOD RAGE THEME, on bandcamp! 

For the second part of our Xmas Spectacular, here comes a much better movie than SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT. BLACK CHRISTMAS has gotta be one of the best xmas horror films ever, a slasher which predates all of the other classics and still rises above those that followed. We discuss all the important things like our childhood crushes on Olivia Hussey and prank calls we've received. It's another classic episode from the Archers boys with the Blood Rage Theme cover of course provided by the amazing Matt Akers. Check out his bandcamp! 

The holiday season gets bloody when the Archer boys watch this infamous 80s Santa slasher for the first time! Who liked it-- who didn't and what were the best toys in that toy store? (spoiler: it was the KRULL board game.) For the Mondo SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT colored vinyl soundtrack giveaway we mention: follow archersofhorror on instagram! The details will be announced Wednesday. As always Matt Akers provides that amazing cover of the BLOOD RAGE theme. Check out his bandcamp!  

It's time to tackle one of our favorite horror films: the timeless story of a boy, a ball and a mysterious Tall Man. And Reggie the ice cream guy. And a dwarf named Tommy. We share tales of Michael/Jodi-esque adventures with our brothers and Rusty lists a lot of interesting facts about Angus Scrimm as we discuss PHANTASM (and vow to do an episode for every sequel). I think I write this every time but this is truly our best episode yet. Please RATE and REVIEW the podcast! Please check out Matt Akers on band camp, the composer of that amazing Blood Rage Theme Song cover that we use.   

Almost in time for Halloween comes one of the ultimate Halloween movies! NIGHT OF THE DEMONS is an absolute classic which represents the pinnacle of late 80s horror, which makes it really weird Ed hasn't seen it until now! Normally here I would make references to what comes up during the episode, but Rusty edited this one and I haven't listened yet and I have no memory of what was said. However-- I hear it's our best one yet so check it out! As always please rate the podcast-- although we know you won't! The theme as always is a cover of the theme from BLOOD RAGE, by our favorite musician Matt Akers. Check out his bandcamp. 

Just in time for Halloween, the Archer boys finally confront HOWLING 2: YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF. Could this be our most anticipated episode yet? Is this movie as terrible as popularly believed or could it be ripe for a HALLOWEEN III style rediscovery? Find out on our newest episode, which as always features that great BLOOD RAGE cover by Matt Akers. Please rate and review the podcast and tell your friends about the show. It's October and people need horror-related podcasts now more than ever! We'll be back with VIDEODROME next week.