Smart Counsel

Ben and Rhys muse on how being counselors presents advantages and peculiar hurdles to being fathers, and how fatherhood in turn affects how we show up in the rooms as counselors. Along the way, we reflect on hopes and fears for our daughters and sons and what kind of people they will be as they will face in the big wide world. Rhys Pasimio – rhys@newpatterncounseling.com Ben Poling - benpolingcounseling.com Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program at Multnomah University and New Pattern Counseling present this podcast as a resource for aspiring and current professionals, as well as members of the greater community. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent those of Multnomah University or its faculty or New Pattern Counseling.

We’re dads! We’re married! We’re healthy and educated. We even own houses! Technically we have completed society’s cis-hetero-normative script for our lives. That means we have our inner and outer lives under control and feel powerful and invulnerable and have no sign of weakness anywhere…right? Wrong! We love our families, but sometimes being a father is miserable and lonely. Our Father’s Day gift to any dad who listens is the freedom to be imperfect, vulnerable, flawed, and lonely. Believe it or not, you are more normal than you think! Our hope is that we can labor through the glorious and wonderful trials of father hood together, but making connections and asking for help, one awkward and vulnerable conversation at a time. Happy Fathers Day! This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio - newpatterncounseling.com Aaron Kelsay – akelsay@voaor.org Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program

Rhys Pasimio explores a parallel between the experiences of betrayal trauma and systemic racism, and issues a challenge to those who have inflicted harm to consider and own the impact of their actions, and practice a deeper form of empathy. This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio – rhys@newpatterncounseling.com Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program at Multnomah University and New Pattern Counseling present this podcast as a resource for aspiring and current professionals, as well as members of the greater community. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent those of Multnomah University or its faculty or New Pattern Counseling.

“We have to attend to what’s lost when we make changes, even when the changes are good.” At the onset of the Corona Virus, the counseling community migrated en masse to providing primarily, and sometimes exclusively, telehealth services. Rhys Pasimio and Aaron Kelsay reflect on this transition, what our therapeutic relationships have gained, and what we have lost. This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio – rhys@newpatterncounseling.com Aaron Kelsay – akelsay@voaor.org Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program at Multnomah University and New Pattern Counseling present this podcast as a resource for aspiring and current professionals, as well as members of the greater community. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent those of Multnomah University or its faculty or New Pattern Counseling.

How does counseling work when there are two counselors and a horse? Or even 3 horses? What can we learn from observing horses and how can horses help us move through anxiety and restore a sense of empowerment? Today I caught up with Bethaney Clark and Alycia Smith, a team of therapists with a counseling practice just east of Portland, Oregon. We talked about what equine therapy is, what it offers, who it helps. Clark and Smith shared their vision for being a resource for the whole community by being a core resource for other helping providers. This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio – rhys@newpatterncounseling.com Bethaney Clark & Alycia Smith– cheriishcounseling.com Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program at Multnomah University and New Pattern Counseling present this podcast as a resource for aspiring and current professionals, as well as members of the greater community. The v

These days things are weird and strange, says everyone. We feel disconnected, and most of us have experienced some sort of loss as a result of the Virus and Social Distancing. Many of us have been more anxious and pre-occupied. How do we manage these all encompassing and ongoing stressors? More particularly, how do those of us in Helping roles, of any sort, maintain our own center, calm, and health? Individuals in Helping Professions have long been known to be at high risk for Burnout and Compassion Fatigue and the current situation may have only heightened that risk. What should we do? Hannah Green from Second Growth Counseling joins Rhys and Ben and shares some insights and ideas for how to maintain a healthy self while still actively caring for others. We discuss boundaries, expectations, and replenishing activities. Through it all we affirm that your experience is real and your needs are important! This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio – rhys@newpatterncounseling

What are the barriers to lasting change? Turns out some of the biggest are internal, and have to do with relationships. Rhys Pasimio and Ben Poling have a conversation with CSAT colleague Stephen Grant and discuss how change happens. We talk about First and Second Order Change, (changing behaviors, then changing motivations and internal values) and Grant introduces the concept of Third Order Change - Changing relationships to self, others, the world, and God. Along the way, we give nods to Internal Family Systems Theory. Grant also gives a brief introduction to ART – Accelerated Resolution Therapy, and changing the way we experience memories, particularly trigger memories. This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio – rhys@newpatterncounseling.com Ben Poling - benpolingcounseling.com Stephen Black– gracefallcounseling.com Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program at Multnomah Universit

It’s here! SMART Counsel’s first ever CROSSOVER EPISODE!!! Rhys Pasimio from SMART Counsel and Stephen Black from TCK Care have teamed up to bring you a most fabulous and thought provoking discussion about social media! What is a responsible use of Social Media? Contrarily, what is irresponsible use of Social Media? Rhys and Stephen tackle the topic. We talk about the benefits of networking and connecting, learning and research, advocating and raising awareness of marginalized and vulnerable people, and DIY self-promotion for artists, business owners, and people with opinions. We also talk about how the social media world lends itself towards obsession, addiction, “The Instagram Effect” and how we hide our true selves, the un-reality of virtual life, and what happens to relationships when they exist entirely online. This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio - newpatterncounseling.com, rhys@newpatterncounseling.com Stephen Black– tckcare.com/connect Please visit www.pat

Rhys and Nick venture into a conversation about Feminism! We explore what feminism is, how it benefits women, and how it benefits men. We reflect on our own experiences and challenges with growing up as men surrounded by toxic masculinity and how adopting some feminist ideas is leading to healthier and more self-aware lives. Along the way, we call out some trends in both the church and the counseling world on how power is managed, how knowing is understood, and how we relate to people, and offer some ideas and hopes for how we can all continue growing together. This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio - newpatterncounseling.com Nick Brechbiel – nbrechbiel18@gmail.com Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program at Multnomah University and New Pattern Counseling present this podcast as a resource for aspiring and current professionals, as well as members of the greater community. The view

Need a break from the Corona Virus? Let’s talk about culture and diversity! The counseling relationship is marked by a stark power differential that is only made starker by differences in race, class, gender, education, sexual orientation, physical ability, and many other factors. How do we consider the power differential and work for what is best for the other person, while neither dismissing their problems, nor perpetuating systemic oppression? What are the cultures to consider, and who are the vulnerable people? Aaron Kelsay shares his experience of providing addiction counseling services to clients of diverse racial and class backgrounds. We consider how to consider the impact of our Whiteness and discuss striving for a mindset of cultural humility versus trying to master cultural competency skills. Along the way, we question established treatment structures, such as the 12-Steps, that came from privilege and tend to support privilege. We advise against use of jargon without first spending time in relatio

How do we respond to crisis? How do we maintain a peaceful center and making meaningful contributions to our community in the midst of our own fears? One answer may be impartiality toward the outcome. Rhys Pasimio caught up with Aaron Esparza back on March 20, 2020 and they had a lively conversation about the current health situation and how our global community is reacting. They talked about peace making and peace keeping, mediation, compassion, and hopefully finding our best selves when all is said and done. This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio - newpatterncounseling.com Aaron Esparza – 808.494.0249 Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program at Multnomah University and New Pattern Counseling present this podcast as a resource for aspiring and current professionals, as well as members of the greater community. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent those of Multn

Rhys and Ben offer commentary on the Corona Virus and the global reactions, on the internet, and in our communities. We discuss ideas on avoiding obsessing over fear while also cultivating empathy and connection. Whether you are more distressed by the Virus situation or more confident, we offer perspectives that we hope will be both challenging and helpful. This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio - newpatterncounseling.com Ben Poling - benpolingcounseling.com Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program at Multnomah University and New Pattern Counseling present this podcast as a resource for aspiring and current professionals, as well as members of the greater community. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent those of Multnomah University or its faculty or New Pattern Counseling.

What is the difference between Bipolar I with Psychotic features, Schizophrenia, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, ADHD, and Borderline Personality Disorder, and how are all of these complicated by Drugs and Alcohol? Welcome to the wonderful world of Clinical Diagnosis! Whether you are trying to figure out your own experience, or trying to gain an understanding of someone else’s, this conversation may have useful tidbits for you! Samantha Blazier reflects on her experience assessing and treating co-occurring disorders, and offers insights in how to identify a diagnosis by its features, treat the person in a holistic way, and communicate the data to the next provider! This episode of SMART Counsel is from the archives and features former favorite co-host Joshua Moore. Listen along, and let us know your thoughts. Let’s keep the conversation going! This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio - newpatterncounseling.com Joshua Moore – neurofeedbackcare.com Samantha Blazier P

What is healthy sexuality? How do healthy sex, relationships, and intimacy factor into an abundant spiritual life? What can we reasonably expect in our sex lives, particularly as we get older? And what does the abundant life look like for people practicing long term sexual abstinence? Rhys is an Orthodox Christian, and a sex addiction counselor, and was invited to speak at an Evangelical Church about the topic of healthy sexuality in the Abundant Life. Now, the Abundant Life is Christianese for “Living to your Fullest Potential.” Since he works closely with sexual addictions, and with matters of gender and sexuality, they wanted to know his thoughts. This presented a really cool opportunity! And an interesting challenge. How to translate all the clinical verbiage and science, as well as a Sex Positive attitude, into language and a form that Evangelical listeners could hear, understand, and maybe be open to pondering further, all while being true to the Orthodox faith tradition. This conversation is the end

What is Religious or Spiritual Abuse? Who does it? Who is most hurt by it? Most importantly how do we support the survivors and prevent it from happening again? Connie Baker has invested much of her personal and professional life addressing this problem in both clinical and religious settings. Recently she released the book “Traumatized by Religious Abuse: Courage, Hope, and Freedom for Survivors,” which is now available at Amazon and anywhere wonderful books are sold. Rhys and Ben caught up with Connie one chilly evening in December. We shared stories, asked questions, and together dreamed of a more trauma informed counseling profession, as well as a safer and healthier church. This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio - newpatterncounseling.com Ben Poling - benpolingcounseling.com Connie Baker – connieabaker.com Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program at Multnomah University and N

Where are you from? Easy question…right? But what if you lived in five different countries before you finished high school, and none of them are where you live now, and even your parents were from somewhere other than here? How do you understand the culture you are in? How do you figure out how to act in a strange new world? Do you blend in? Do you make yourself exotic and cool? Moreso, how do you understand your very own self? Welcome to the world of the TCK – the Third Culture Kid. Rhys, Ben and special guest Stephen Black explore the wide and ever-changing world of being a TCK. Stephen reflects on his own experiences growing up on (only) three continents and how that impacts his sense of self, relationships, and sense of belonging. We talk about the unique challenges that TCK’s face, and how the mindful clinician might better support them. We also talk about the particular strengths and richness that a TCK carries within them, and how their global perspectives are a gift. This episode of SMART Counse

Is it possible to become too dependent on therapy? Would that be a bad thing? Is being dependent on another human being actually a problem? What are the things that prevent us from relying on help and support from a fellow human being? Rhys and Ben explore all this and more in our latest episode! Leave us your thoughts, and let's keep the conversation going! This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio - newpatterncounseling.com Ben Poling - benpolingcounseling.com Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program at Multnomah University and New Pattern Counseling present this podcast as a resource for aspiring and current professionals, as well as members of the greater community. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent those of Multnomah University or its faculty or New Pattern Counseling.

Addictions and Accountability by SMART Counsel

What is a friend? And where do I find them? As kids, making friends (sometimes) seems to just happen. School, sports, church, band, and other groups facilitate connection, and younger people (sometimes) seem to have less baggage in approaching a peer. As adults, relationships are not a given. Rather than facilitating connection, many aspects of society seem to actively hinder people connecting with each other in a meaningful way, and the older we get, the stronger the hindrances! How do we overcome the barriers in society as well as our own insecurities to meet people and forge meaningful connections? Rhys, Ben, and Taralynn spin some thoughts and ideas about what keeps us apart and what we can do to be together. Check out the episode and let us know what you think. Let's keep the conversation going! This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio - newpatterncounseling.com Ben Poling - benpolingcounseling.com Taralynn Rayburn - voyageandserenity.com Please visit www.patreon

How does active recovery impact relationships? Likewise, how do relationships impact active recovery? What sorts of changes should we expect or demand? What are healthy boundaries and how do we set them? And just what are the pros and cons of taking a year off from dating when you first start recovery? Rhys and Ben are joined by Taralynn Rayburn from Voyage and Serenity to unpack the essential considerations of relationships in early recovery. Listen along, and let's keep the conversation going! This episode of SMART Counsel features the following professionals: Rhys Pasimio - newpatterncounseling.com Ben Poling - benpolingcounseling.com Taralynn Rayburn - voyageandserenity.com Please visit www.patreon.com/smartcounsel to learn how you can support the podcast. Thanks! The Master’s in Counseling program at Multnomah University and New Pattern Counseling present this podcast as a resource for aspiring and current professionals, as well as members of the greater community. The views expressed herein do not