Green Blooded Bastard's Movie Commentary Podcast

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Transporter.  This movie is about a guy named Transporter... um Frank Martin who drives cars and delivers shit unless you double cross him and blow up his car.  He's got a "girlfriend" and he fucks shit up plus skydiver.   enjoy suckas!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Special Correspondents.  In this film  Ricky Gervais and  Eric Bana are a couple of loveable losers that are hiding out from  Kevin Pollak.  Their hip shooting gets them further and further into trouble.  While shit is slowly hitting the fan  Vera Farmiga is fucking great and sexy and  Kelly Macdonald is into  Ricky Gervais and wishes that he was inside her.  America Ferrera is having fun while  Benjamin Bratt  is like wtfbbq?!?!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Batman: Under The Red Hood.  In this movie the Batman gets to fight demons from his past!  The Joker is out there romping and stomping... I'll stop now.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Saw 3.  This movie is yet another sequel to a sequel to a somewhat classic and they amped up the gore even more and they tried to make Donnie Wahlberg seem like a capable actor again! This third one just keeps amping up the gore and views like a railed up ride or a video game that you just watch and point and click once in awhile.     bleh.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Crank.  This movie is about a guy named Deadpool... um Chev Chelios who kills people and fucks shit up so he doesn't die.  He's got a hot girlfriend, a funny Doctor and his roommate is a blind black woman... um I mean this is Crank, not Deadpool.    I'll stop now.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Halloween: Resurrection.  This movie is a pretty shitty sequel in this franchise, but still better than those horrible middle ones.     This is not the one with Paul Rudd in it.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Independence Day.  This movie is the prequel to a fairly shitty movie that just came out.  There is alien rape(brent spiner) and a black pilot(will smith) and a jewish man boy cable repair man(jeff goldblum) and i'm pretty sure that i passed out a few times while recording this.     fml son.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Tomorrowland.  This movie is directed by the Iron Giant dude and written with the Lost guy.  It's a perfectly average movie that looks pretty, but it takes a long time to get anywhere fun which is too little too late for my fucking tastes.  Bleh.  Anyway it's an ok film, but not high on my lists of rewatching fun time stuff.  Fuck it.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Saw 2.  This movie is the sequel to a somewhat classic and they amped up the gore and they tried to make Donnie Wahlberg seem like a capable actor! This second one tries to push forward in new directions, but fails somewhat in certain aspects, but is still on the better side of these Saw movies.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Now You See Me.  In this movie there are 36 ninjas and the are crazy fast and can do magic like nobody knows!  Jk, but there are these 4 playas known as the 4HorseM3N and they fight for the little guy and like to fuck shit up son!   NOW YOU SEE ME bitches.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Scream.  In this movie a girl named Scream is hunted by some crazy fuckers and is forced to... Scream!  There were some production issues with this episode so if it sucks then i'm sorry and fuck you.

  The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Alien vs. Predator.  Paul W.S. Anderson fucking hates us all and gives us this shitfest!  This movie is a combination of a great franchise and an average(but loved) franchise that was forced to hate fuck each other while doing massive amounts of drugs on camera.  I'm not even joking... that's the fucking story son.  Aliens + Predators + fml = this fucking movie.  kill me now please.  

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Saw.  This movie is a somewhat classic in that it kicked horror off into a new and gore filled direction.  This first one has it's flaws, but is still an ok watch from time to time and is still one of the better films in this series.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Deadpool.  This movie is about a guy named Deadpool who kills shit and can't die.  He's got a hot girlfriend, a funny friend named after an animal and his roommate is a blind black woman... what more could you possibly ask for?  

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches G.I. Joe: Resolute.  In this movie Cobra tries to anal rape the world again and almost achieves it until the resolute Joes turn the tables and push Cobra's shit in!   America Fuck Yeah!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches It Follows.  This movie is a instant classic in the horror genre! It's about an std that literally kills you to death in the vein of 80s horror.  This movie is dope.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Batman: Year One.  In this movie the Batman gets shot, stabbed, punched and tends to fail quite a bit... fuck it Batman!  It's a lot like the comic and pretty good so watch it and read it and send me brownies!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Pee-Wee's Big Holiday.  In this movie Batman has to save...jk!  Pee-Wee goes on holiday to spend time partying it up with his buddy Joe!  enjoy son. :)

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Green Inferno.  This movie is a pretty solid non torture porn horror movie where a bunch of red fuckers are eating white fuckers in the green jungle.  'Murica

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Species.  This movie is about a horribly cast Ben Kingsley or at very least a poorly acted performance with a horrible accent... fuck it.  Lots of tits and shit.